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  1. #1

    Default What would you differently/better if you were to start over?

    Hello all!

    I've been lurking around here for a few years now, soaking up as much info as I can while my little guy has been growing. He'll be 3 in April!

    I think over the next year will be time for me to start getting things set up, get his room transitioned from a baby room to maybe more of a Montessori style room or something like that.

    My question to all of you is... if you were starting fresh and could do it all from the beginning again (I'm sure many of you have already done this for 2nd/3rd kids), what are some of the lessons learned and things you might do differently the next time around?


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  3. #2


    Almost 3!? Time flies!

    I would buy less, play more. And have listened to the doctor when he said my littlest should be saying more words.

    Each kid has been different, so its hard to say what I would do differently for a subsequent child, or if I really couldve done differently with the boys I have.

    Ive learned a lot on how to encourage, motivate, and teach from observing and interacting with my baby’s therapists - I wish I had known those strategies and had those tools all along.

    Keep it all play and games, RD! And do DIY Montessori style stuff, no need to go buy their fancy tools.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3


    I'm at the other end of the homeschooling journey! I'll answer regarding the entire time frame, not just when they were young.

    1) Played more.

    2) Have our homeschooling look less like school even sooner than I did.

    3) Traveled more, whether field trips or long distance.Maybe even tried to road-school a bit.

    4) Worried FAR less.

    Homeschooled two kids for 11 years, now trying to pay it forward

    Daughter -- a University of Iowa graduate: BA in English with Creative Writing, BA in Journalism, and a minor in Gender, Women & Sexuality Studies

    Son -- a Purdue University graduate: BS in Computer Science, minor in math, geology, anthropology, and history

  5. #4


    I had to slow my children down. They all wanted a ton of work during the day (in the Montessori classroom that works - at home not so much) and it is rather exhausting to me due to the lack of peer-interaction. We are in our 1. year but I am a Montessori teacher and wanted the children to go at their own pace, but sometimes they get too eager and needed a reminder to slow down. In December, I pulled a break and told them to slow down. Now everyone is much happier. We also homeschool 4 days a week and have the 5th day for practical life (grocery shopping, meal plan, field trips, crafting, library, co-op homeschooling group, walks on the beach, festivals and other cultural events - we went to the Scottish Highland Games). We are lucky and have many kids around us, so we take advantage of that.

    Like Carol said, I am working on worrying less. It's a work in progress.....

    EDIT: I feel like I should add something. My kids were working long hours (sometimes from 8 am through 5 pm with a lunch and play breaks) and were miserable because they were trying to get as much work done as possible. I needed them to understand that childhood is special and they should enjoy it to the fullest.
    Last edited by Numme net huddle; 02-01-2020 at 08:29 AM.
    ~ Kimmy

    “ Education is a natural process carried out by the child and is not acquired by listening to words but by experiences in the environment.” ~ Maria Montessori

  6. #5
    Junior Member Newbie kara4d2's Avatar
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    Jan 2020


    This is a great idea for a thread and the responses so far are interesting -- seems to be some common experiences.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Arrived RTB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    My kids are now high school and middle school - so I'm speaking for the younger years here. . .

    1. I'd spend even more time outside than we already did.

    2. I'd bake and cook with them more.

    3. I'd start using movies as literature at an earlier age.

    4. SELF CARE! I really neglected my needs / likes / wants / base personality in the beginning when I was being super mom and that did not help any of us. I'd buy a Roomba earlier than I did. No kidding. Clean house = peaceful mind

    You didn't ask, but things I'd do again. . . spend lots of time outside, field trips, classes, play groups, random nice days off, lounge by the pool, go to all the parks, hike trails, play in the river, listen to audio books anytime we were in the car, use The Arrow (by Brave Writer), attend cultural events, go to museums, put every bug / rock / dust / feather under the microscope.
    DS 15, DD 13
    Year 9

  8. #7


    Wow, self-care!
    I forgot I even existed for a few years there! That definitely wouldve been something to do better.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  9. #8


    We do self-care as part of practical life and its nice not to spend Sundays night clipping all their nails and cleaning their ears after their
    ~ Kimmy

    “ Education is a natural process carried out by the child and is not acquired by listening to words but by experiences in the environment.” ~ Maria Montessori

  10. #9
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
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    More time outside
    More time traveling
    More hands on learning
    Less worrying, OMG, less worrying

    Dd will be graduating this year! EEEk! I have looked back and thought about this. My biggest one is less worrying!!! Not worrying in a sense of what others think. I could really care less what others think. I walked from that like 20+ years ago. I worried about math! Fifth grade math took 1 1/2 years. That worried me so so so much. That right there was THE biggest worry. I should of just let her go at her own pace. There were times when we went days with out a math lesson because it stressed us both out. She actually told me it should take me 30 seconds to teach her how to do a math problem!!!! LOL Seriously!!! That gave me a giggle!!! We switched gears after that.

    More hands on, time outside, traveling. This is an all in one. We should have done more learning away from home. Reading it in a book or watching it on TV just isn't the same as seeing it in person, touching it. Taking the time to really appreciate the art, the history, the hard work.

    DD was in a Montessori school 3 days a week when she was 4. we loved it. I also had a gut feeling that PS would not be for her. She says she is glad she had the PS experience though. I wish I could have kept her in Montessori. But the tuition skyrocketed the next year. So disappointed. They had goats and chickens!! It was the best!! I really do believe The Montessori Method is the way to go. I wish I would have stuck closer to it now that I think a little bit more about it.
    Bobo 13 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 21 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

    umbers cucumbers!!!!

  11. #10


    I have 3 graduated from high school and 3 still in childhood. Only my youngest is currently homeschooling.

    I agree with all the above about the play more, worry less.

    Homeschool doesn't have to mean school at home. The less my homeschool lessons felt like "school", the more my kids learned and remembered.

    I wish I had not felt, early on in our homeschooling journey, the need to push my children ahead of the public schools or even keep up with them to prove I'm doing a good job at homeschooling. The state I currently live in doesn't require that I prove anything to anyone. I wish I had had more confidence in myself as their teacher and not felt the need to prove I was a good teacher when I was homeschooling my oldest in elementary school.

    I am glad that I gave co-ops a short trial and then decided it was not for us and stuck with it. Why go to the trouble of pulling my kids out of school and being responsible for their education only to delegate some of that responsibility to another who are no better qualified (and IMHO less qualified) to teach my child than I am? I don't mind delegating to a professional. For example, I hired a violin teacher with credentials to teach my son violin. I hired a SLP when my other son needed help with his speech. But why do I want to hire just another homeschooling parent to teach my child when I am still ultimately responsible for their education?

    I'm also glad I didn't give in to the "but what about socialization?" argument. My kids ended up with better social skills than most of their peers and I credit it to homeschooling. They didn't spend their formative years learning social skills from other kids who didn't know any better than they did how to act and be a kind human being. Instead, they learned empathy, compassion and good manners by just going through daily ins and outs of life like running errands, volunteering and having discussions with me about all that we did, saw and participated in. They weren't sheltered, they were actually living out in the actual world instead of being locked up with 25 - 30 kids their own age all day.

    That's all I can think of right now but I'm sure there is more and I will come back and add it later if I think of it lol.

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What would you differently/better if you were to start over?