Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1

    Default Finding Other Secular Families

    Does anyone else have an extremely hard time finding other secular families to connect with? I have tried everything! It seems the one group I did find in my area is really only a group for information and not to form relationships or outings. I even attempted to set up park days last spring to meet some new people but no one was interested. We have a lot of faith based groups in our area. One of which is very welcoming to secular homeschoolers, but it just isn't a fit for us at all. Am I missing something? Does anyone go thru this? I was told it would be so easy to connect with others when we looked into homeschooling. It is the only piece of the puzzle we are missing. We also live in a neighborhood with like zero children... really helping me out here :-)

  2. Ratings Request Leaderboard
  3. #2

    Default

    It is hard. We live in an area with quite a few religious homeschooling groups and none of them work for us. We struggled for a while. DS has a couple of friends,but we have given up on a homeschooling group and now will use the same after school programs that the school kids use. Depending on your community, there are programs through the Y, Boys and Girls club, the city parks & rec programs, classes for art, dance, theater, martial arts, community sports and more. The local colleges have weekend and summer programs, as well as the museums and public libraries. Also, during the summer, and sometimes winter & spring breaks, there are classes and day camp programs.

    I realize that these don’t have the same friendship-building opportunities that seeing the same kids over and over, but it is a start.
    A mama, who teaches college writing, as well as help her 11-year-old in
    choosing his own life adventure. Using Global Village School to support our desire to develop a sense of social justice and global awareness.
    I also share free and low-cost educational resources at
    http://chooseourownadventures.blogspot.com

  4. #3

    Default

    Good luck with it! Have you tried adult-based clubs where you may happen to make friends who have similar age or interest kids?
    I think you really have to go beyond the homeschool circle to find people.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.

    Atheist.

    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  5. #4

    Default

    This really depends on where you live. We're surrounded by heathens.

    Do you have a Unitarian church in your area? Atheists welcome and it's an in for community. I know that for some people in highly religious areas, having a church where God is optional is a boon because church is one of the primary social structures.

    But if that doesn't suit you or isn't available, yeah, get beyond the homeschoolers. Sign up for traditional afterschool activities and sports and try meeting people that way. In some areas, the secular people all just go to school.
    Want to read about my homeschool?
    http://farrarwilliams.wordpress.com
    Children's Books, Homeschooling and Random Musings...

    Want help homeschooling or sending kids to college?
    http://simplify4you.com/

  6. #5

    Default

    We also just go for the traditional after school activities for most social stuff. There is a homeschool group here that is a mix of secular and religious, and we enjoy going to things with them for learning activities but not so much for play as my DD has not really clicked with anyone there. The few that we have, we just arrange meeting them one to one when we all have time.

    Is this more for you or for your kids?

    If it is for your kids, do they have friends they could catch up with from other things? Do they want more social/play time? I ask my daughter regularly because I worry she does not get enough, but she says she gets plenty and does not want any more.

    If it is for you, can you join up to an activity or class so that you meet some people and have discussions that way?

    But, yes, it is hard! I personally find it easier and I worry about it less if I separate my/my daughters needs and expectations for social/play from those for learning/school rather than hoping to get it all in one.

  7. #6

    Default

    You might think that you just have to find other secular homeschoolers and viola! you will magically fit in and all of your social needs will be met.

    In my experience, this is very far from reality. Secular homeschoolers (again, in my personal experience) tend to be incredibly diverse in everything you can think of - parenting styles, lifestyles, academic goals, political views etc etc. They are as diverse as their reasons for homeschooling, and getting them together and keeping them together is exactly like herding cats. In the nearly 5 years of homeschooling in the area with tons of secular homeschooling, I have seen/been through groups forming, falling apart, separating into sub-groups, falling apart again, regrouping, disintegrating etc etc. It has been (and still is) more frustrating than socially fulfilling.

    Eventually, I stopped paying attention to the 'secular' part, and the 'homeschooler' part, and just started accumulating families/kids that we get along with regardless of their schooling status, and in only about 5 years , my kids' social circle is on a good path.
    mom to 3 girls: DD10, DD9, DD6

  8. #7

    Default

    Thank you everyone! For some reason I continue to feel like we need to meet other secular homeschoolers in order to obtain friendships for my son when in fact that is very far from reality. While it would be nice to have other homeschool friends for my son to be able to do things like field trips during the day, it is not necessary. I just need to get him out more in general and the friendships will come. Thank you for all of the insight & personal experience. It makes me feel like we are not alone and allowed me to see I needed to change the direction of my own thinking.

  9. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MandieB View Post
    Does anyone else have an extremely hard time finding other secular families to connect with? I have tried everything! It seems the one group I did find in my area is really only a group for information and not to form relationships or outings. I even attempted to set up park days last spring to meet some new people but no one was interested. We have a lot of faith based groups in our area. One of which is very welcoming to secular homeschoolers, but it just isn't a fit for us at all. Am I missing something? Does anyone go thru this? I was told it would be so easy to connect with others when we looked into homeschooling. It is the only piece of the puzzle we are missing. We also live in a neighborhood with like zero children... really helping me out here :-)
    We've had similar issues. The local "inclusive" Christian group wasn't really open to my transgender son so we've been searching for other secular homeschoolers to connect with. It has been a little frustrating. My kids love to socialize so we're starting to feel a little isolated doing this without a group or co-op to connect with.

  10. #9

    Default

    You may bave better luck not looking for “homeschool” friends. One of the benefits of homeschooling is you dont have to do schoolwork with strangers. Especially when you arent conforming the the group’s mindset, there is going to be judging and snubbing. Just my opinion, though.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.

    Atheist.

    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  11. #10

    Default

    Hi, Mandi -

    I feel ya! We have known lots of secular homeschool families, but the problem is the majority of them have been COOP homeschoolers, and nearly every COOP we have visited these past few years seemed to facilitate toxic behaviors between the adults—be it competitiveness or a ridiculous amount of enmeshment (ug—I thought I was in middle school again). Not good for the kids and just as bad (if not worse) for the parents—especially the moms.

    I'm at the point of avoiding those kinds of groups altogether.

    But I digress...

    I'm not completely giving up on finding secular (and sane) homeschool friends.

    One of the counties near us has nice homeschool classes through their local Park and Recreation. We've been to a few, and they are lovely. We also do classes through museums in our cities. Those are usually once-a-month or a couple times in a season. I have exchanged numbers with parents from those.

    But we've also come to also expand our social interaction with public and private school families in afterschool activities. You can run into a lot of really cool secular-minded folks at arts and drama groups, and they may not be homeschoolers, but really that is not a requirement for friendship (for the kids *or* the parents). Our best family friends are actually public schoolers we met in a parenting group when my oldest was a preschooler. We sometimes exchange 411 about our kids' education (it's actually really useful), but we respect each others' choices. That's the key to an amazing friendship.

    Art classes have been wonderful for us, because they are relaxed places where kids usually can talk while they make stuff (if your art teacher doesn't allow this, fire them). Drama has a lot of good activities for kids physically and mentally, and also tend to be more casual at the same time. Usually everyone gets to know each other's name. I'd love us to try more drum circles as well, but around here those are usually in the evening so that will probably have to come later when my guys do better staying up (my oldest still needs a lot of sleep).

    Hope you have found some friends. It takes time to find the right people, but the journey can still be fun.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us

SecularHomeschool.com was created to provide information, resources, and a place to share and connect with secular homeschoolers across the world. Secularhomeschool.com aims to be your one-stop shop for all things homeschool! We will be highlighting information about wonderful secular homeschool resources, and keeping you up to date with what is going on in the world of secular homeschooling. But that is only the beginning. SHS is your playground. A place to share the things that are important to you. A place to create and join groups that share your interests. A place to give and get advice. There are no limits to what you can do at Secular Homeschool, so join today and help build the community you have always wanted.

SecularHomeschool.com is a community and information source where secular homeschoolers ARE the majority. It is the home for non-religious homeschoolers, eclectic homeschoolers, freethinking homeschoolers AND anyone interested in homeschooling irrespective of religion. This site is an INCLUSIVE community that recognizes that homeschoolers choose secular homeschool materials and resources for a variety of reasons and to accomplish a variety of personal and educational goals. Although SecularHomeschool.com, and its members, have worked hard to compile a comprehensive directory of secular curricula, it does not attest that all materials advertised on our site, in our newsletters, or on our social media profiles are 100% secular. Rather, SecularHomeschool.com respects the aptitude of each individual homeschool parent to fully research any curriculum before acquiring it, to ensure that it holistically meets the educational, personal, and philosophical goals of each homeschooler.

Join us
Finding Other Secular Families