Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1

    Default How to talk to teens (and kids) so they will listen and listen so they will talk.

    I wholeheartedly want to recommend a book my husband and I had recommended to us. It's called "How to talk so teens will listen, and listen so teens will talk." by Faber and Mazlish. There is a book for parents with young kids under the same title, only instead of the word "teens" it says "kids". You can find both on Amazon. I found the teen book at my library.

    First, I wish I'd found this book when my oldest was still a teenager. I think our communication skills would have been better and our relationship stronger. We are rebuilding now and I have this book to thank. In fact, I just used one of her methods to address something that would have set my son off (he still lives at home for now), but instead, we came to a peaceful resolution. Amazing!

    But the BIGGEST influence this book has had, has been with the communication between my youngest and us. She is explosive. Her emotions are always out of control. We have been frustrated and angry at her and not known how to communicate in a way that is productive. This book has been a huge help. In 2 weeks, things at our house have calmed down and her behavior has changed dramatically. Although we haven't been perfect, it's been a beautiful work in progress. She's also learned how to problem solve herself to feel empowered to make changes needed to succeed.

    This book is an easy read that teaches communication skills that validate emotions, but helps kids come to their own conclusions on how to solve their problems. It aims at mending the teen/parent relationship angst by teaching how to communicate issues effectively so problems are solved. In some instances, I've had to use several of her methods in one conversation and it's worked really well!

    Homeschooling Mamarama
    Native Idahoan Atheist
    Eclectically homeschooling since 2006.

    Son (20) - Class of 2014
    Daughter (17) - Class of 2016
    Daughter (15) - Class of 2019

  2. Thank You Leaderboard
  3. #2
    Senior Member Arrived lakshmi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Blog Entries


    i have this book right now in the living room. Maybe i'll go read it! lol

    **For those of you using, or considering to use, MBTP>>>>>
    Join a FACEBOOK group for Moving Beyond the Page users

    **The busiest group on all of SHS is >>>>>> Boring People Who Hate Debate.

    Da Chilluns: Pie Pie-9 & ChickiePoo -8

    Sat nam
    "A truly mature mind can be neither hurt nor flattered, for its very maturity is its independent stability." Vernon Howard

  4. #3
    Senior Member Arrived TFZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Blog Entries


    Signed up for the waitlist for the kid one. Thanks!
    I'm a work-at-home mom to three, homeschool enthusiast, and avid planner fueled by lattes and Florida sunshine. My oldest is 6 and is a fircond grader (that's somewhere between first and second, naturally), my preschooler just told me she wants to learn how to read, and my toddler is a force of nature.

    I gather all kinds of secular homeschool resources and share them at

  5. #4
    Senior Member Arrived Avalon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    I read two of their books - the "how to talk..." for kids and "Siblings Without Rivalry" way back when my teenager was a baby. They earned a permanent spot on my shelf, along with Barbara Coloroso, and I think they really informed my parenting style.

  6. #5


    This is a good read. It's also very popular in the Suzuki circles that I'm involved in.

    There are a lot of techniques that they outline; but most importantly it's a reminder that empathy isn't just an attitude, it's a technique. (And I mean that in a non-manipulative way.) I used to teach a course to med students and residents on communication skills. We spent a lot of the time practicing what empathic communication sounds and feels like. When they were able to break out of the objective/information-gathering/controlling mode of communication, it made the whole interview go better.

    Even the old Stephen Covey, "7 Habits..." book dealt with a lot of this. "Seek first to understand, then be understood." and "Deal first with emotions." I guess we need reminders...
    DD age 9, Grade 4ish

    Eclectic. We do music, math English, history/geography/culture, Russian and science. Lots and lots of reading. I blog at

    WARNING: Unwittingly, I may occasionally say things to which you take offence.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
About us was created to provide information, resources, and a place to share and connect with secular homeschoolers across the world. aims to be your one-stop shop for all things homeschool! We will be highlighting information about wonderful secular homeschool resources, and keeping you up to date with what is going on in the world of secular homeschooling. But that is only the beginning. SHS is your playground. A place to share the things that are important to you. A place to create and join groups that share your interests. A place to give and get advice. There are no limits to what you can do at Secular Homeschool, so join today and help build the community you have always wanted. is a community and information source where secular homeschoolers ARE the majority. It is the home for non-religious homeschoolers, eclectic homeschoolers, freethinking homeschoolers AND anyone interested in homeschooling irrespective of religion. This site is an INCLUSIVE community that recognizes that homeschoolers choose secular homeschool materials and resources for a variety of reasons and to accomplish a variety of personal and educational goals. Although, and its members, have worked hard to compile a comprehensive directory of secular curricula, it does not attest that all materials advertised on our site, in our newsletters, or on our social media profiles are 100% secular. Rather, respects the aptitude of each individual homeschool parent to fully research any curriculum before acquiring it, to ensure that it holistically meets the educational, personal, and philosophical goals of each homeschooler.

Join us
How to talk to teens (and kids) so they will listen and listen so they will talk.