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  1. #1

    Default Do you follow age/grade requirements?

    Do you follow age/grade requirements when signing your children up for activities and classes? Lately I've noticed some HS'ers place their children in older groups for classes and activities. I am not sure if they feel their children are more advanced, more mature, will get more out of it, or there is some other reason.

    One one hand, I guess this isn't a big deal, but it can be irritating. My children were recently signed up for an activity for grade 6-12, there were some children who were obviously younger...probably 9 or 10. Due to the nature of the activity, it wasn't a big deal. We also have friends who place their 6th graders into summer camps for ages 8th grade plus. Or others who put their 11 and 12 yo children into the 13+ groups for activities. So, are the rule followers left with the younger children who have been 'bumped up' while their peers hang out with the older crowd? If you paid for a class for your 8th+ grader, would you mind that there were 6th graders in the class? (I know ability may be more important than age in some cases.)

    I am a rule follower and I assume the ages are set for a reason. In general, if I don't like a rule, I will try to have it changed but I do not simply ignore it. I also do not want my children to be in a position to lie about their age.
    Does anyone else think about this or am I just crabby tonight?

    eta: I was kicked out as I was typing my poll choices. I am not sure how to get them back into the thread.

    A. I follow the age/grade requirements.
    B. I go by ability and ignore the age/grade requirements.
    C. I go by ability and ask if my child can be moved up into a higher level.
    D. My child is exceptional in all ways so I enroll them in a higher age level knowing they will rise to the challenge
    E. I don't enroll my children in anything.
    F. Other
    Last edited by dbsam; 06-06-2016 at 01:03 AM.
    finished 8th grade (our fifth year homeschooling)
    Dumplett (girl - age 14) and Wombat (boy - age 14)

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  3. #2

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    My husband is a stickler for rules. For example, if I mistakenly get in a turn lane and the lane divider is solid white, he is ADAMENT that I may not get back into the through-lanes, even if there is no other traffic. Needless to say, there is no underage facebooking or google accounts at our house. (He also plays Monopoly by the official rules, and refuses to play by my *nicer* rules.)

    I however, am more of a *spirit of the law* person. Ive intentionally proceeded through an intersection where the traffic signal was not working properly (the side street went to a construction site, and was fenced off across the street - and the turn light exiting the fenced off site always had a long green light). DH would wait the two some minutes for the light to give him permission to go forth.

    The world is probably a better place for having both types of people.

    In the situation of 9-10yos present when 12+ was requested.... if the administrators knew and didnt care, it could just be a policy they have in case there is someone they deem *too young*. Or they give priority enrollment to 12+. Or there was a sibling 12+ attending, and it was just easier to make it an activity for all the kids.
    But thats my rule-bending inclinations.

    I dont think youre crabby. You have reasonable justifications for your view, and a reasonable solution for the other parents. But Im not wired that way.

    As far as polls go - we are one for "letter of the law", and one for "spirit of the law".
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.

    Atheist.

    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by alexsmom View Post
    As far as polls go - we are one for "letter of the law", and one for "spirit of the law".
    I like your poll choices!
    finished 8th grade (our fifth year homeschooling)
    Dumplett (girl - age 14) and Wombat (boy - age 14)

  5. #4

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    I am a "by the age"...only with other groups of ppl. And that is largely because I was so tall as a kid (i hit 5ft6in by 10) that I was always classed with kids older than I was. And while I loved it, it made it really really hard to tolerate kids of my own age when I had to. Younger kids was SO not happening. And I don't want that for Tech. He is really tall for his age (he's 52 inches at 6) but was a preemie so is delayed in things like speech, and so we go by age.

    However, toys, movies, things that are not a group thing, we totally go by what I think he's ready for. He's 6 and watches selected (pre-screened) PG-13 movies. And started playing with the 8+ Lego kits when he was 5. However, he still can't ride a bike or tie his shoes. So he's all over the place. :-)

  6. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by aselvarial View Post
    I am a "by the age"...only with other groups of ppl. And that is largely because I was so tall as a kid (i hit 5ft6in by 10) that I was always classed with kids older than I was. And while I loved it, it made it really really hard to tolerate kids of my own age when I had to. Younger kids was SO not happening. And I don't want that for Tech. He is really tall for his age (he's 52 inches at 6) but was a preemie so is delayed in things like speech, and so we go by age.

    However, toys, movies, things that are not a group thing, we totally go by what I think he's ready for. He's 6 and watches selected (pre-screened) PG-13 movies. And started playing with the 8+ Lego kits when he was 5. However, he still can't ride a bike or tie his shoes. So he's all over the place. :-)
    I have 5 boys.... They all road bikes "late" at around 8. (I even got the younger 2 balance bikes and while that helped some, their motor skills didn't kick into gear until about 8) shoe tying? seriously I gave up. It takes my 17 year old son 10 minutes to put on his shoes or change his shoes. (And he is in Track, where you change your shoes for different events)I won't even talk about potty training. They understood the concept fine, but the motor skills to potty train took forever to kick in.

    but Legos, no problem, we can do Legos in our sleep.(but I still wouldn't buy my son a master builder set because it says 10 on it. But that is because he can't read and I would have to read it to him.)

    My point is that different kids develop different skills at different times. (Except my 5, who are annoyingly alike.) I stopped worrying about age and concentrate on ability level.

    I am a rule follower. I would say "spirit of the rule". (Though I can be pretty black and white according to my Dh.)
    ~*~*Marta, mom to 5 boys.
    DS 1 ( 19, has his associates' degree and is off to college)
    DS 2 (17 and dual enrollment in college)
    Keegan (15 and enrolled in a PPP but still has home classes)
    Sully (10 years, 4th grade)
    Finn, (9 years, 3rd grade)

  7. #6
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    A. I'm a rules girl. It annoys me when other people think the rules don't apply to them so I hear ya loud and clear.
    I'm a work-at-home mom to three, homeschool enthusiast, and avid planner fueled by lattes and Florida sunshine. My oldest is 6 and is a fircond grader (that's somewhere between first and second, naturally), my preschooler just told me she wants to learn how to read, and my toddler is a force of nature.

    I gather all kinds of secular homeschool resources and share them at TheHomeschoolResourceRoom.com.

  8. #7

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    Mostly I'm a rule follower in this sort of situation. Two separate occasions DD was placed in an art class that was for older kids. Both times it was because the "younger" class didn't make. As it happens, DD is very mature for her age and can totally hang with older kids. In fact, she prefers older kids to age-mates. (I was always the same way.) So I was fine with the bump up in theory, but I always worry in situations like that that other parents will think that *I* asked for the "special treatment." For some reason, I'm super sensitive to things like that.

    The local college used to run Super Saturdays in the summer months, for advanced kids (rising) grade 3 to 8 to come do classes with college professors in a variety of topics. I desperately wanted to get DD in to those, I could hardy wait. Since at age 6-7 she was doing 3rd grade work, I seriously considered asking for an exception. But I didn't, I just couldn't do it. As it happens, THIS summer she'd be eligible at last, and they stopped the program. Sigh.
    Working mom homeschooling DD (10) who is working on a 4th-6th grade level and keeps me hopping! SimpleMoney is my new venture. www.simplemoneypro.com

  9. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starkspack View Post
    Mostly I'm a rule follower in this sort of situation. Two separate occasions DD was placed in an art class that was for older kids. Both times it was because the "younger" class didn't make. As it happens, DD is very mature for her age and can totally hang with older kids. In fact, she prefers older kids to age-mates. (I was always the same way.) So I was fine with the bump up in theory, but I always worry in situations like that that other parents will think that *I* asked for the "special treatment." For some reason, I'm super sensitive to things like that.
    I think there are circumstances where it makes sense to 'bump up' a child when there is a specific skill set and the child is obviously qualified. I remembered last night that it happened to my son when he played tennis. He was 9/10 and the coach moved him into the middle school group. I would not have asked for the move, but the coach felt lessons with the younger group were a waste of time and he was holding his own with the older kids so I don't think it was an issue with the other parents - but maybe it was.

    The situations I have noticed are more fun or social situations that can be appropriate for any age but have age requirements. I realize it is not just HS'ers who do this.

    Some examples:
    When my children were 10 I signed them up for an all sports camp. It was for 6-10 yo's who never played group sports but wanted to learn the basic rules for several sports. It was already a wide age gap and a lot of people dropped off their 5 yo's. It was a waste of money because it ended up being a babysitting service held at a 5yo level.

    Often the library has programs that state specific ages (Nerf Wars, drawing classes, book clubs, etc.) Of course, many younger children are completely capable and they wouldn't 'ruin' the class, but since there are age requirements, I wait until my children are the proper age.

    We recently had a HS field days. I signed my children up for the 12 and under group. We ended up not making it, but I noticed their friends, who are 11 and 12, signed up for the 13+ group...why?

    These situations are not not a big deal, I just don't understand it. I understand it more when a child is truly above age for an activity or academic subject. I do not understand it when the activity is just for fun or a social get-together.

    I think this I see this more since the kids are 11 turning 12. They are not teenagers, but are not little kids either. A local Arboretum has summer camp for children 6-12. It sounded like a great camp but when I heard they are not dividing by ages I didn't sign up my children. They are turning 12 this month and I think it is too wide an age group; they are not 13 so I wouldn't sign them up for a 13-18 group.

    Sorry for the long ramble...
    Last edited by dbsam; 06-06-2016 at 09:18 AM.
    finished 8th grade (our fifth year homeschooling)
    Dumplett (girl - age 14) and Wombat (boy - age 14)

  10. #9

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    We recently had a HS field days. I signed my children up for the 12 and under group. We ended up not making it, but I noticed their friends, who are 11 and 12, signed up for the 13+ group...why?
    I'm with you. When my kids were 10/11, there was no way I'd sign them up for the 13+ age group. There are far too many differences between those ages.

    Through the homeschooling years, we stuck to the age group rules. Except when asked to coach and bring an academic team to a high school competition at a local campus. I couldn't form a big enough team with only high school age students so I asked if I could bring 8th graders as well. Turns out the young team that year (half composed of 8th graders) did quite well for themselves. In this case, as in others that were posted earlier, the kids were capable of competing at that level.
    Carol

    Homeschooled two kids for 11 years, now trying to pay it forward


    Daughter (22), a University of Iowa graduate: BA in English with Creative Writing, BA in Journalism, and a minor in Gender, Women & Sexuality Studies

    Son (21), a Purdue University senior majoring in Computer Science, minoring in math, geology, anthropology, and history

  11. #10

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    I go by age when we sign up for things. We have one place that does classes that has strict rule about the age ranges on the classes. They say they'll make an exception if you talk to the person teaching the class and get their approval and the priority is given to the kids in the target age range.
    Teemie - 11 years old, 6th grade with an ecclectic mix

    Blog : Tumblr : Instagram : Facebook
    http://jessicamckelvin.com

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