Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1

    Default Homeschool grad happily homeschooling her two kids

    Hi Everyone,

    After attending public school through elementary and middle school, I homeschooled during high school and had a great experience directing my own education. That experience was formative for me, and I always imagined that I'd homeschool my own kids. My husband and I have two daughters. When our oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's/Autism at age 4, I thought this just affirmed my decision to homeschool her. She'd be a divergent learner and need something different anyway. Her early preschool years were so challenging, that although I had a good relationship with our homeschool community and loved the academic aspect of homeschooling, I sent her to public kindergarten, mostly for the respite. Around that time my youngest was also diagnosed, "with autism although it's not quite a perfect fit." She definitely has language delays.

    My girls are night and day from each other, both in personalities and their strengths/weaknesses. E (9 years, 4th grade) is hyper-chatty, gifted with language, outgoing, a little sassy and argumentative, and makes friends. L (6 years, 1st grade) has come more slowly to language (though she's progressing), is the careful, quiet type, seems to have the mind of an engineer, and is slower to reach out to other kids. They are close and play nicely together, with some typical sibling bickering thrown in.

    In Fall 2019, after being a SAHM for nearly a decade, L began kindergarten, and I went to work in a public school. At the same time, I began grad school to get my master's in education. I had decided that my passion for education (begun during high school while homeschooling) would be channeled into teaching. My husband was shocked (I have been critical of the schools), but I told him, "If I can send our kids, I can go myself." My specialty is teaching English as a second language, and I have found so much fulfillment in studying this field. My parenting burnout has lifted.

    By April 2020, it was clear to me that I'd be homeschooling our kids this fall. I was planning to quit my job as a paraprofessional anyway, in search of teaching opportunities. The pandemic changed my plans, and I began ordering curriculum and plotting how this might all go. I spent the summer test driving curricula and schedules, especially with L. We "officially" started homeschooling on August 31, and it's been lovely, all those good things I've heard and known about for years are happening in my house, and I am able to use my knowledge of language development to help my youngest daughter. Last year I felt that she was stressed in school, just holding it together, and that I was too absent (work and two grad classes?!) to support her as much as she needed.

    Now we're happy, but I'm struggling with that central tension of homeschooling my kids versus pursuing my own career. I'm afraid to fall in love with this and give up the money that would come from me working.

    Thank you to anyone who made it through my long introduction, and thank you for having me here!


  2. Thank You Leaderboard
  3. #2


    To me it seems youre still undecided whether to homeschool “after the pandemic”.
    Perhaps make your own personal list of reasons to homeschool and reasons to pursue your career.
    Reasons youve given to homeschool:
    -You love spending time with your kids playing homeschool
    - Its less stressful on them than public school was.
    - You can give better help to L especially.

    Reasons for career (more speculative on my part):
    - You didnt feel you had enough money when you were SAHM
    - You spent money on a degree so itd be wasteful to not use it (Id say that self-improvement is never wasted, can be done for its own sake not just as a means for monetary gain.)
    - Perhaps you feel judged as not meeting your potential if youre “just” a SAHM.
    - Maybe you want time away from your kids part of the day, to have peers and colleagues and friends who arent related to your identity as a parent.

    Whatever you end up deciding long term (and for whatever reasons) will be okay, its unlikely that your kids will be devastated or harmed from it.

    But this year you are homeschooling, so embrace and enjoy it. (Its pretty easy to see its a good decision right now.)
    Dont let worrying about the future suck joy from your days.

    Join in the chit chat here!
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Arrived RTB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    Hi Collette and welcome!

    I started homeschool when I was between jobs, because I thought it sounds like fun and why not. We road tripped a lot and did what we wanted and I totally bought in to the freedom it offered. My reasons to homeschool have changed over the years and now I homeschool because I can offer my kids an in-depth, rich, culturally and ethnically diverse education - something I don't think they get in PS, and the freedom. But, I left a career I loved to do it. Sometimes I long for some external validation (yes, that is correct, you are doing this right!) or a sense of mastery. It's all part of the trade - and I feel like the homeschool experience is worth more to me. But, I also don't do the money math
    DS 15, DD 13
    Year 9

  5. #4


    Welcome. I like AM's suggestion to just enjoy your time homeschooling. Pick a date when you are going to homeschool to and set in your calendar a time when you will sit down and make the decision for continuing. As you go about your homeschooling, when pro/con thoughts pop up, have an online document or notebook to jot them down in and then put them out of your mind.

    I enjoy homeschooling and it is something I chose to do over a full-time career. It is also very beneficial for my oldest daughter. I also work part-time as a freelance science editor, so I have kind of kept doing something for me in terms of earning and career. It is not what I would really love to be doing and it is not something that earns me a lot of respect in conversations with many other parents who have a similar level of education to me (PhD), and some days I would rather not be doing it because it is a struggle to do both time wise. I also try do volunteer work when I can, and without my kids (my husband works from home or I take them to my mum's), so I can feel like I am having time for me.

    Good luck and enjoy your time.
    NZ homeschoolers (school year runs start Feb to mid Dec).
    DD 12 (year 7) and DD 7 (year 2).
    Fourth year homeschooling.
    Part-time freelance science copyeditor.

  6. #5


    I was in graduate school for much of DS's formative years. We did some preschool, but when that didn't work out, we were homeschooling starting in Kindergarten. It requires a balancing act. If you are only going to school and if you are doing an online program, it is doable. It does require help from the other parent or family to help care for the kids, but it can be done. I now work fulltime, mostly from home at the moment because of the pandemic. But I am working in DS' schoolwork and mine.

  7. #6


    So much wisdom here! I really think AM nailed it with refusing to let worries for the future suck joy from our days. That's turning a good situation into a problem.

    NZ, I love your idea of picking a date to re-evaluate! I'm very much a planner, but I hadn't thought of doing it that way. I really feel you on that "respect from others around us with similar levels of education." My husband has a Ph.D., and while he was getting it I was working entry-level temp jobs. We lived on campus, so all my friends were scientists in the highest of ivory towers. I think it teaches us to judge our lives by our values, to be confident in choices we made for happiness, not just career goals.

    RTB, I also love the freedom homeschooling allows to be a better cultural fit for our family. My grad course this semester is on culturally responsive teaching, and it's nice to have that as a given with homeschooling.

    Again, thank you all so much for sharing and welcoming me.


Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
About us was created to provide information, resources, and a place to share and connect with secular homeschoolers across the world. aims to be your one-stop shop for all things homeschool! We will be highlighting information about wonderful secular homeschool resources, and keeping you up to date with what is going on in the world of secular homeschooling. But that is only the beginning. SHS is your playground. A place to share the things that are important to you. A place to create and join groups that share your interests. A place to give and get advice. There are no limits to what you can do at Secular Homeschool, so join today and help build the community you have always wanted. is a community and information source where secular homeschoolers ARE the majority. It is the home for non-religious homeschoolers, eclectic homeschoolers, freethinking homeschoolers AND anyone interested in homeschooling irrespective of religion. This site is an INCLUSIVE community that recognizes that homeschoolers choose secular homeschool materials and resources for a variety of reasons and to accomplish a variety of personal and educational goals. Although, and its members, have worked hard to compile a comprehensive directory of secular curricula, it does not attest that all materials advertised on our site, in our newsletters, or on our social media profiles are 100% secular. Rather, respects the aptitude of each individual homeschool parent to fully research any curriculum before acquiring it, to ensure that it holistically meets the educational, personal, and philosophical goals of each homeschooler.

Join us
Homeschool grad happily homeschooling her two kids