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  1. #1
    Junior Member Newbie kara4d2's Avatar
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    Jan 2020

    Default Hi from mom of one 3-year old

    Hi! I'm a mom to a three year old. We're considering homeschooling and the state we're in is actually pretty friendly to it. One of my biggest concerns is finding a homeschool community that's also secular - I'm married to a woman and I worry about our kid making/having friends in the conservative-ish community we live in, especially since so many people I've run into locally choose to homeschool for religious/moral reasons and specifically aim to keep their kids far away from families like ours.

    Other than that, my biggest concern is ensuring my three year old has access to the materials she needs to not be bored. I lean more toward unschooling or unit-study personally, but this kid loves structures and ritual. She'll sit down and do entire workbooks when the mood strikes. So I've been looking into different curriculum just to see what they offer and what might be the best fit and found my way here.

    I'm glad to be here - looking forward to getting to know more folks.


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  3. #2



    I think there is a myth about needing a local homeschool community that is just like you.... maybe because the religious people find such comfort in it?
    I have polite, but definitely not close, friendships with local homeschool moms... for me theyre generally either too much churchmom, or too granola-crunchy for me.
    Find your social support and circles where your interests and tribe lies... and same for your daughter. Looking for like-minded homeschoolers, unless youre a fundamentalist christian, seems to be pretty difficult.
    If youre independently minded enough to want to homeschool your kid, youre probably not going to need the “sheep within the fold” psychological crutch of himeschooling just like your neighbor.
    You will have friends, your daughter will have friends, and none of it will really be because the only thing you have in common is that you dont send your kid to public or private school.

    As for keeping her entertained, the library is your best friend. If you gravitate to fun unit studies and learning, keep on modeling that! If her instincts are to produce paperwork, congratulations, you wont have to struggle to produce written work, or to get through math books. Teach her the way that makes you happy, and dont worry about workbook naysayers if that makes her happy. Your goal could be to build the associations that learning is enjoyable and fun, for everyone involved.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3


    I don't think you need to find a homeschooling group specifically. At the pre-school age, there are lots of programs for preschoolers that you can go to that are not tied to homeschoolers or to a church.

    As your child gets older, you can look for groups that are LGBTQ+ friendly and not necessarily focused on homeschoolers. After school activities are also a way for her to get out and not have religion a part of it. I live in a small, community and all of the homeschooling groups are religious. It was oppressive and I hated it. (And they didn't like us either.) I decided that we would just do activities that were open to the whole community, which is much more accepting in general than the homeschoolers.

    I want to mention, that secular homeschooler doesn't mean they were not anti-lgbtq+. We were fighting racism, antisemitism, and other kinds of hate, it just turned out their hate just wasn't based on religion.

  5. #4
    Junior Member Newbie kara4d2's Avatar
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    Jan 2020


    Thanks for your response! I take your point about secular not necessarily meaning socially progressive - finding a community that is working to fight all kinds of hate is important to us, too.

  6. #5


    Welcome to the forum, kara4d2.
    My daughter used to **love** to do workbooks; I thought she was the only kid that did. She absolutely loved Brain Quest materials, and likes structure and routine. We also used Daily Paragraph Editing (Evan-Moor workbooks) for mechanics through 8th grade.
    We just stopped using MCT (Michael Clay Thompson Language Arts--not workbooks) for grammar about a year ago; B. viewed correcting the practice sentences as a game so really got a lot out of it. Just throwing out some titles; you've got tons of time since you're at the pre-school stage.
    I hope you find some people to hang with. Online support is always good, but having others who homeschool or those who just support your decision to homeschool along for the ride would have to be better.
    We're, more or less, being held hostage (LOL) in the state due to my husband's job. I would love to sell and move to Boulder. I've read that B. is very liberal. Iowa has become a little too red/orange for me.
    Glad to have you here.
    Last edited by outskirtsofbs; 02-15-2020 at 04:30 PM. Reason: added thoughts, punctuation

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Hi from mom of one 3-year old