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Thread: Hello!

  1. #1

    Default Hello!

    Good morning all!

    I am the mom of a awesome 12-year-old who is bright, spunky and keeps me on my toes. He is current1y attending a public middle school but I have been toying with the idea of homeschooling since he was in the 1st grade. Our public school experience has been a rollercoaster ride as he is a smart kid who needs a strong academic program but also has mild autism and ADHD and requires extra supports. He gets good grades and participates in extra-curriculars like band and musicals. I am concerned that he is not maximizing his potential in the public school system since it is a one-size-fits-all system where everyone is expected to learn exactly the same material in exactly the same time-frame. I frequently get the feeling that certain subjects are glossed over where my son would benefit from a deeper dive. He also struggles with organization and time management due to the impact his disabilities have on his executive functioning and has recently been penalized (i.e. grade of zero) for turning in an assignment 30 minutes late. I feel that there is a lack of understanding and compassion in the general education classrooms for children that simply are wired differently. This is despite the fact that these children have Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) and, therefore, by definition needs something other than a one-size-fits-all approach. So I find myself, once again, doing my homeschooling research in an attempt to be prepared for what I expect will be needed in the not-so-distant future. Currently, my son LOVES going to the public school and gets upset every time I bring up the prospect of homeschooling. I'm hoping that with a little education, he will warm to the idea.

    Thanks for reading!


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  3. #2


    Welcome, Jacki!

    Let us know how we can help you with your researching! Homeschooling can look different for everyone, and the extremes run from strapping your kid to a chair (not really!) to letting them do as they like, hoping that they will develop a spontaneous passion for algebra. Dont be put off by the whole idea of homeschooling if you come across blogs or websites that dont agree with your instincts on how youd like it to be.

    It sounds as though your son is happy in middle school - and that social happiness is worth a huge amount at this age! Way more than going in depth about academic subjects. (So Im learning myself as my oldest navigates it.) Im not saying dont homeschool because ďit aint brokeĒ, but acknowledge youre doing it because its what YOU want to do. (Which is a good thing!)

    To get more depth in subjects, you could do your own supplementing of what hes learning at school, in a low stress manner. Offer him documentaries to watch, think of projects to do with him in the evenings.

    You could also look into why he doesnt want to homeschool... is it fear of the unknown, dread of losing his friends, feeling like it would make him weird? I dont know how it is on the public school side of the fence, but the homeschoolers we run with who are public school refugees never want to go back. Maybe its not so much based on reality, but the need to feel what theyre doing is the best of all possible worlds?

    I wouldnt dream of sending my youngest (with an IEP) to a public school, and I could list all sorts of worries for him over it, but really, a lot of it is that I refuse to be beholden to a school districts calendars and timeschedules.

    I also dont think any tweenagers have good executive function, its one of the reasons why academics and responsibility isnt what they excel at. A zero for turning in something late may be no more sinister than a teacher pushing your son to not procrastinate. I may be naive, but I think teachers have the best intentions - they dont get the job chasing money or fame.

    Otherwise, when researching, Id advise you to stay away from shiny expensive products that promise to do all the work for you. Your kid will get benefits out of homeschooling based on the effort YOU put into it. An online or a box program (one that covers all subjects) isnt likely to teach your kid what he wants to know in the way thats closest to how he best learns it.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3


    Since your son gets upset every time you bring up homeschooling, and is happy at his public school, I would research about your location along with curriculum. Are there other secular homeschoolers? If not, are you going to be able to deal with Christian homeschoolers? Is there a co-op? A homeschool support group for parents? Perhaps your local library has activities for homeschoolers? Maybe your state has dual-enrollment so your son can still participate in music, musicals, etc?
    I'm not saying that you have to only hang with homeschoolers, but it certainly helps to have others who homeschool in close proximity. Sometimes when kids leave the ps system and become homeschoolers, the friendships can change or end.
    In our personal experience, homeschooling is frowned upon by the local ps students and their parents. My daughter knew a girl whose mom made her stop hanging out with my daughter because the child wanted to be removed from ps due to bullying.
    Last edited by outskirtsofbs; 02-09-2020 at 04:58 PM. Reason: clarifying certain points
    --Kelly--Atheist/Accidental/Alternative Homeschool Mom to one great daughter in southern Iowa since 3/1/10. Tenth Grade: Saxon Algebra-2, Holt World Geography, Holt Biology, myPerspectives-10/Creative Writing, Spanish-2, and Computer Science.

  5. #4


    Hello and welcome Jacki !

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