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  1. #1

    Default New here and on the fence...

    Hi all. Nice to find out you exist and even nicer to meet you! Secular education is very important to me and I was worried about being able to find a community. Yay!

    I am in SC, but grew up in the Northeast. I have three kids, the youngest of which is 8 and may be my first homeschooler in the fall. She has ADD and has a tougher time learning in a group without being on meds., but learns quite well one-on-one, so I am strongly considering this change. I've been fluctuating between super excited about homeschooling to extremely nervous. I would guess I'm not alone in that...

    I was a teacher and I have loved investigating different curricula. I have so much to learn and I am glad to have joined this group!

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  3. #2



    What are you nervous about? (And at least you wont get the “what makes you qualified to teach” accusations!)
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  4. #3


    LOL! That's true... I'm nervous about so much, but I love that you asked that question, because I have tried to write the reasons and keep erasing. Maybe it is mostly the fear of the unknown. Will I be able to help keep her motivated and engaged? Will I have enough energy to keep up with her and not turn to screens to occupy down time? Will I be able to find secular outings and social groups (living in SC, it is very Christian)? Will there be days where I wish I had a drop-off place for her to go, so I can have some time "off"? I guess all of my fears focus on the time when we are not doing lessons.

    On the flip side, I am very excited about the teaching part. I have loved looking at materials and feel very confident about challenging her just enough. I have spent the last two years watching my ADD girl only get part of each lesson in school and I have re-taught at home. So much of her time in school was unproductive for her and I would love to make her school time productive.

    Thanks for the question! I hadn't really been able to put my finger on my concerns until you asked. Naming them can help me focus on the possible answers.

  5. #4



    1) You might not find a secular co-op, but for both educational and social outlets, you have a lot of options that are independent of homeschooling status. Museums / Libraries / Parks / Civic centers often have events, classes, or clubs that will welcome you. 4H, Scouts, Civil Air Patrol, other organizations will fill some of the niches you might feel are missing from her life when she starts homeschooling.

    2) Oh, a day without kids underfoot! I am soaking up one of those days today. Grama has my boys, and even though Im just hanging out at my house, its blissful. So yes, you may crave time for yourself. Perhaps saying you may appreciate it more is a polite way to phrase it. Its not unbearable, having kids around all the time.

    3) More downtime. Yes. You can nudge her to activities that you find more worthwhile, if you dont want her defaulting to screens.

    4) Keeping her engaged. What can you do, other than be interested in it with her? Its certainly not going to be worse than what she was struggling with at the PS.

    Your worries seem perfectly normal, Im sure most of us here have been through most of them as well.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  6. #5


    If it helps, when I was on the fence about homeschooling for a long time (it took me three years to take my daughter out of school), I went through all the same what if this, what if that...But then I really thought about it, and it all boiled down to what if it does not work/what if I "fail" at it. It did not matter what the specific what ifs were, they all lead to the same thing, and there was no way I could find answers to all of them to reassure myself. So then I thought, what if I do "fail", really, what does that matter? We tell (or I do anyway) our kids all the time that they just have to go in and face these things they don't understand or that challenge them, and that getting things wrong or failing is ok, it is just part of learning. If I did "fail" in some way, as long as I learned from it, it did not matter. I could send her back to school, I could find a solution at home that helped, but if I never tried, I would never know if it would work or not.

    So I don't know if focusing on answers helps, well it didn't for me anyway. It was more an acceptance of the fact that I did not have and may not always have the answers. That I just have to try and see how it goes...which by the way is going great in terms of my DD. She has processing speed issues and is very empathetic/sensitive, so school was a constant stress for her. We have been homeschooling 2 years now. My mum spent some time one on one with her the other day and then rang me after to say "my gosh, she is so relaxed now...I don't want to phrase it this way, but she is just like a "normal" kid", and she is. Now my mum might not admit that this is because of homeschooling as she does not like a lot of things about it, but I know the change in DD is from homeschooling.

    Edited to add – and I would not worry about screen time. I don't know what school is like where you are, but here, they often resort to showing the kids a movie if it is a relieving teacher, or letting them play on the internet, or using tablets for a large proportion of the work because the class sizes are too big. At least at home, you are getting to guide/choose what sort of screen time she is having. She would probably be having some at school anyway, and it might be stuff you agree with. If you need a break, you should take one, and if that means resorting to some screen time that you have selected, does it really matter? We do way more screen time than I would prefer now that we homeschool, but they get something out of all of it.
    Last edited by NZ_Mama; 07-10-2018 at 09:28 PM.
    NZ homeschoolers (school year runs start Feb to mid Dec).
    DD 12 (year 7) and DD 7 (year 2).
    Fourth year homeschooling.
    Part-time freelance science copyeditor.

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New here and on the fence...