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  1. #1
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Default Life Stinks Right Now

    I got word yesterday that my step dad is not doing well. They are discussing hospice today. There is a part of me that is very confused. I am so angry with this men, yet thankful. He is the only one that helped me with my homework. My mother refused to do so. Saying that she didnt have help, so I dont need it. Without him, I would have never understood math. Without understanding math,I would have never been a machinist or welder. Yet, I feel bad for him because my mother fed him so much bad information. I dont know if thats the way she saw it, or if that is just her. Even though they have been divorced for a number of years, I still kept in touch with him. We often had debates heated, yet funny debates about politics. He admitted to me hes a socialist, and of course I am quite conservative. Hes a catholic, and I am an athiest. The debates were actually quite fun. And I always walked away after he would say "That's not the way it works , my dear!" And I would say socialism doesnt work! I went to Austin last night to see him. I hate death. I hate desease. I hate hate.
    Bobo 13 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 21 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

    umbers cucumbers!!!!

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  3. #2

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    I'm so sorry. I hate death too.
    Robin,
    working-at-home mother of two.
    homeschooling the 11yo boy.
    the girl is 14 (8th grade) and loves her public school.
    they are very very different kids.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Arrived TFZ's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that
    I'm a work-at-home mom to three, homeschool enthusiast, and avid planner fueled by lattes and Florida sunshine. My oldest is 6 and is a fircond grader (that's somewhere between first and second, naturally), my preschooler just told me she wants to learn how to read, and my toddler is a force of nature.

    I gather all kinds of secular homeschool resources and share them at TheHomeschoolResourceRoom.com.

  5. #4
    firefly77
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    I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Death sucks and each time you encounter it, it changes you forever.

    My experience with hospice was very positive (well, as positive as it can be), and those folks are just so compassionate.

    I hope you can heal emotionally, and I hope your stepdad can be comfortable and without much pain.

  6. #5

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    I'm so sorry, Deli. No wisdom here, just hugs.
    FKA Hordemama
    Stay-at-home-librarian parenting a horde of two sons: Marauder 1 (M1) born in 2007, and Marauder 2 (M2) born in 2012.

  7. #6
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    Hi deli just wanted to chime in - sending you and yours good vibes. I hope it goes as well as it can with your stepdad and you both can find some peace and comfort. Sounds like in spite of the difficulties you have good memories to draw on.

  8. #7
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Thank you all. I went and visited again today. I cant help but cry. I do try to reflect on the positive. The camping trips, help with my math, heated and funny debates about politics, rock climbing...and the only person in the house that said he loved us. I remember getting into my car and finding a condom on my gear shift! I look up and hes laughing at me through the window! The next day there was one on my radio antena! (sp?) Hes still laughing! One year he asked what I wanted for christmas. He just about lost it when I said a one year subscription to the blaze!! I was kidding of course. Glenn Beck is far beyond my level of conservativeness. Then he saw my subscription to mother earth and told me I was a very confused woman. LMAO! For so long I was very angry. Lots of turmoil growing up. I eventually let it go. I needed to move forward if I was ever to find any peace in my life. I made peace with the relationship I had with him years ago. Just an all around realization about life in general. Addressing each and every relationship and decision. Since then, relationships have begun to heal. And Life has come into place. I dont want him to go. Im hoping he survives the cancer. I want him to see his grand kids grow up. I want him to live a full life with his wife. I dont want him to be in pain or be sick. Hes wanted and loved and needed here.
    Bobo 13 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 21 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

    umbers cucumbers!!!!

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