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  1. #1
    Senior Member Enlightened Andi's Avatar
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    Oct 2013

    Default What I Wish I Could Say....

    This is long and rant-y. Apologies for that. I don't have a good real-life secular homeschooling support group (and my husband is out of contact for several weeks), so I'm ranting here.

    I’m not anti-religion. In fact, I think spirituality in some form is a basic human need and most of the religious homeschoolers I’ve met are sincerely kind people. However, today was the last straw for me in dealing with ultra-conservative Christian homeschoolers. Most of the following are based on conversations I had today (during a 1-hour gym class). ONE HOUR!!

    So here’s what I would say aloud if I didn’t have such a social butterfly for an only child:

    No, Christ did not call me to homeschool. My son begged me to homeschool him halfway through first grade. This was after telling the teacher she was “doing it wrong” and asking if he could “go back to Kindergarten” so that he could “learn something again.”

    No, I won't be using Apologia's Exploring Creation. I will examine your Apologia science book the way a child will examine an interesting insect before squashing it between his fingers and wiping it on his pants. And then walk away.

    No, I don't want to attend your twice a week, 2-hour bible study classes on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I'm likely halfway into a good bottle of wine by the time you're wrapping up one of those classes.

    No, my child will not spend his summer attending various Vacation Bible School camps. If my son attends any camp it will be an outdoor adventure camp at the ski resort. Yes, there will be danger involved. Yes, he could get hurt. No, I won't be staying there with him to oversee his every move. He's a kid, they’re known for their quick recovery. Aren't they?

    Yes, because of our travels my son leaned about Hanuman before he learned about Jesus – and he finds the stories of Hanuman and eastern religions fascinating. At the age of 5 he made up a joke: What does Buddha say? Boo! Duh. He then made a pencil drawing of Buddha on a post-it note that I will never discard. Christianity is not the only religion in the world.

    Yes, my son (age 8) is able to look at classic works of art without any censoring. It's not pornography. It's a breast. That breast is there specifically for the baby lying right next to it. You're probably the person who censored that used classical art book I bought. My son and I had a great laugh because of that book.

    I understand you’re trying to be empathetic and I do appreciate it, but don’t compare your husband’s change in work schedule to include Saturdays (and your son’s subsequent reaction) to my husband deploying to a war zone for 4 months (and my son’s subsequent reaction). So not the same. (This was the last straw and I realize has nothing to do with religion or homeschooling. My son is sensitive and cries easily under the best circumstances. During deployments and training he cries even more easily and has trouble controlling his emotions. And clings to me. Oh, the clinging...)

    Oh, and here are a couple of actual conversations from today as well:
    Her: “I don't think we're signing up for the homeschool art class. I’m not sure what art they’ll be looking at and a lot of art I think is inappropriate for kids.” (these kids are both over the age of 8 but not yet teens).
    Me: “Even religious art?”
    Her: “Yes. After Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden we all wore clothes.”
    Me: …... (blank stare - even my internal voice doesn't know how to respond to this)

    Her (same her): "Have you seen the Lego Movie yet? My kids want to go but I’m not sure how appropriate it is. They’ve never been to a movie."
    Me: …..(blank stare - this is taking me a while to process - a pre-teen living among everyday kids - that is, not in a sheltered community - that has NEVER BEEN TO A MOVIE THEATER)
    Me: (recovering)"….so, they’ve never even seen Disney movies?"
    Her: "No. I think Walt Disney would be turning in his grave if he knew what had his name on it these days. We’ve only been to bible based plays at a live theater."
    Me: "I’m probably not the best person to ask."

    Thanks for reading to the end. I have more, sooooo many more, but I feel better just getting these out. Please tell me I'm not the only one dealing with this.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
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    Jun 2009
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    haha you have my sympathies! I spent 10 minutes at martial arts (I live 2 miles away and my kids are 10 and 17), and this one mom refused to let her kid go to the bathroom (you didnt go before, so you can wait until after class now) and then we (and a third mom) ended up talking about academics, and I mentioned that my youngest was late to start reading, but now he's reading Harry Potter! She turned her head away for a second, turned back, saying "Oh, I wont let my kids read that." And turned away again. Yeah, lady, I bet you dont.
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  4. #3


    How did you stand an hour of THAT?? Just wow............................I absolutely LOVE the visual I got of you destroying that Apologia curriculum. (thumbs up) LMAO!
    Oh, and rant away. We are the ONLY secular homeschoolers in this town (we've only ran into one other hs family here and they were religious) that has no co-ops, no support groups, just nothing at all. (LOL)
    Last edited by outskirtsofbs; 03-06-2014 at 12:45 AM.
    --Kelly--Atheist/Accidental/Alternative Homeschool Mom to one great daughter in southern Iowa since 3/1/10. Tenth Grade: TT Algebra 2, Holt World Geography, Holt Biology, myPerspectives-10/Creative Writing, BtB Spanish, and Computer Science.

  5. #4
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
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    I am sorry you had to go through that.
    Bobo 13 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 21 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

    umbers cucumbers!!!!

  6. #5


    Oy. You guys... Many of the people on this forum make me glad I live in such an urban, liberal area. I never have these interactions. I guess it's worth the crazy cost of living sometimes.
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  7. #6
    Senior Member Enlightened Juno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011


    We actually came out as atheists this year, we live in Idaho's bible belt so now its really awkward. No shunning just conversation s stopping and awkward silences when I come in.
    I hear all about creationism science all the time. It is definately hard to live in a small community and want your kids to have a social life in a religious area. I feel for you, definitely hard to ignore all the stupidity.��

  8. #7


    What can one say?

    I don't get bible bashers and we do the awkward silence a lot.
    Mum of 7 wonderful Lads, partner to FIFO for 23 years and homeschooling in the great state of Western Australia for 11 years.
    Thomas (22) now working FIFO.
    Clancy (19) still wanting an Apprenticeship.
    Jules (19) leaving home in the New Year to live in QLD
    Angus (17) studying Horticulture.
    Morgan (15) at local high school.
    Kelly (12) at home.
    Ira (8) at home.
    Living life as a good pagan should, one day at a time, the best way we know how.

  9. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by farrarwilliams View Post
    Oy. You guys... Many of the people on this forum make me glad I live in such an urban, liberal area. I never have these interactions. I guess it's worth the crazy cost of living sometimes.
    I never thought I would say it, but lately, I have been daydreaming about living in a larger, urban area just for this reason.

    B1 - 11 (6th grader)
    B2 - 15 (10th grader)

    Homeschooled for three years, but due to various circumstances, we put them back into public school. Still here because I feel like I found my tribe.

  10. #9
    Senior Member Enlightened sells_kate's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
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    Im an atheist and living in a place where it has to be kept a secret. I respect everyones religions, why can't they respect my choice? =) We also know NO homeschoolers, much less secular. there are NO groups here, co-ops....NOTHING. my 4 yr old has one friend.

    last night I had a dream that was really strange. My husband and I were driving with our two kids and they both really had to pee. So we pulled over at the only building in sight and walked on in. The doors were open and there were people everywhere inside. Turns out it was a church. The preacher walked up to us and asked if he could help us. I told him my children needed to use the restroom and he lead us there with his arm on my shoulder.
    there was a HUGE line at the restrooms of little boys and girls, all my kids' ages. They were all happy and laughing, talking. My daughters face lit up, as she is very social. I realized that this was every child in our community, when I had thought no one near had children the same ages as mine. I started going back and forth at myself in my mind...
    DO I send the kids here JUST so they can socialize?
    But im atheist, and I stand strong in that. Do I really want THESE kinds of people teaching my kids religion? How would I ever fit in with these people? What would we talk about?

    Then I woke up. Weirdest dream I have ever had.

    Kate, mother of Roro and Lil A ages 4 and 3
    You Know You're a Stay at Home Mom when..

  11. #10


    Wow. Seriously, wow.

    The very few times I've been asked about something that sniffs of religion, I head it off with polite honesty. "Sorry, AWANA doesn't interest us, we aren't Christian. Sounds fun!"; "Oh, Boy Scouts, that's nice. No, we take secular nature classes instead. He loves them!"; "oh, I have a friend who likes using that program. We use X instead". I've never had anyone push, though, but I sure wouldn't listen to it for an hour! Yikes! Then again, my DS would as soon have no friends than pushy ones (of any persuasion, but especially religious) so that wouldn't be a big concern. And in our area now, talking about religion is a pretty big social no-no, so it really doesn't come up.

    Sorry you had to put up with that!
    Mama to one son (12)

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