Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30
  1. #1
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    10,082
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default a socialization whine

    I am really starting to get bummed about our struggle with socialization.

    My kids are weird, really weird, and come by it honest. I am not the most social person in the world - i like to chat, but i dont like to leave my house very often and i'm terrible at arranging things.

    So, here is a list of socail heartbreaks so far in the 2 years we've been homeschooling:

    1. First homeschool freind i met online just before she moved in to town. her boy got along ok with mine, but she and i were strained. after a year and a half, she moved away
    2. a real live homeschool dad who had a son 'on the spectrum' who got along w my younger, and his daughter was in school, but got along with my son. they moved out of state
    3. tried a coop and my boys liked the kids, but the adult dynamics were a fail
    4. the friday park day i tried to start 2 years ago failed
    5. the wednesday park day, which had been huge for years, seemed to have disintegrated this year with no one coming any more
    6. met several kids in home school martail arts this past year and really got along w most of the class. The girl my son did best with moved. one boy's mom said she had to put all her kids in school against her will and another said she is divorcing and putting hers in school

    There are a few kids who will hopefully still come to the class who my kids like - but both seem only to be able to make one day per week.

    we also started going to a home school video game group which meets every other week and might spawn a D&D group, we'll see

    I have 'signed' both boys up for science classes this coming year, but both women say the class may or may not happen.

    I'm so frustrated!!!! Richmond, VA isnt THAT small a town, is it? I mean, aside from limiting it to only fairly secular people . . .
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  2. Ratings Request Leaderboard
  3. #2

    Default

    I'm really sorry. My dd is pretty weird herself, and I'm pretty introverted and shy and awkward myself. My dd had one friend at ps, and they've been besties since kindergarten. This past year, the friend started getting in with some mean girls who weren't nice to my dd, which really sucked, although the two of them did stay friends. This past summer, the girl moved 45 minutes away. I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad about it, since at least she's not going to be in a group that's unkind to my kid.

    I hope you find a good fit for them. It's really tough going. I never had more than a couple of friends at a time in school, and there were times when I didn't have any friends at all. I know you're doing the best you can. If I were near you, I'd definitely hang out. My 8 year old is super intense too, they'd probably do well together.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    10,082
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default

    Thanks Eileen!
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  5. #4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I'm really sorry. My dd is pretty weird herself, and I'm pretty introverted and shy and awkward myself.
    Exactly.

    We need that SHS commune to start up, stat. I'm strongly considering getting my daughter involved in 4H this fall so that her social life doesn't have to suffer because her brother is a walking socialization disaster in groups and I would just rather stay home.
    Mother of two monkeys...daughter age 10 and son age 11.5.

  6. #5

    Default

    I'm sorry for your frustration Cara.

    Things work out OK for two of my kids, social wise.

    The other is odd; in a nice way, but odd nonetheless. I worry about her and for her. So I kinda get where you're coming from.
    Wish I had something uplifting to say about it...it's hard.

  7. #6

    Default

    That sucks, Cara. I'm sorry.

    This will sound like a total geek-out, but I actually think D&D (or any in person old fashioned role playing gaming) is one of the best things EVER for getting socially awkward weird kids to bond. One year, I gm'ed a game of Mage for the kids at my school who were mostly quirky kids that just couldn't quite get together and mesh as a group. The school let me do it as a "projects" class (that's what we called extracurriculars - usually arts and so forth - that were twice a week in the afternoons) because we agreed that the socialization goal was worth it. And it really, really worked. I saw a bunch of those kids a couple months ago at a reunion (they're all in college now) and they all mentioned that game of Mage to me in pretty flattering tones.

    So, I guess, don't stop trying stuff.
    Want to read about my homeschool?
    http://farrarwilliams.wordpress.com
    Children's Books, Homeschooling and Random Musings...

    Want help homeschooling or sending kids to college?
    http://simplify4you.com/

  8. #7
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    10,082
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default

    I also am considering trying that creative writing game curriculum - but maybe not this coming year. I feel like we just need to pound on the 5 pp essay for a long time, he needs so much work! This week I told him to do a compare/contrast between two MMORPG's, and I said he could focus on one area of the game, or the games overall. He chose character creation choices. He wrote more than he usually does and it was well organized - but it was mostly just a list of every option in every game, with no actual compare/contrast analysis. for now i'm focussing on just getting him writing, so I'm not doing rewrites, because he was just having too much anxiety about writing. So once he's tossing off 5 pp with ease (ie, not taking the whole week for 1), we'll start working on the finer points. and when I think he can do a decent 5 pp, maybe we'll do some fiction.

    anyways, thanks again, everyone. I know, we just gotta keep going, but the moving-out-of-state and going-back-to-school is just so hard! and i hate to admit it, i'm NOT going to go out of my way to keep up w kids who went back to school. They live kinda far, they were only mildly freinds w my kids, and . . . urgg . . . its just too hard! I know, i'm lame - but i just made dinner, cleaned up dinner, prepped home made sausage for the morning and home made gluten free bread for the evening, and i'll be called up for bedtime duty soon, i've been hanging laundry outside in the 100 degree heat because my dryer has been broken for a week now, and I just walked the dog, after dark but still in the 90s . . . so i'm tired and cranky! sigh.
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  9. #8

    Default

    Cara, I'm so sorry. I can sense your frustration in your post, and totally get where you are coming from....

    I have to tell you, this "socialization" issue is the single biggest fear I have about our giving homeschooling a try...Both my children have been in a brick and mortar school up to now (8th and 5th grade) and they have done great! I guess my biggest fear (please keep in mind that this will be our first year homeschooling, so I may be way off in my perception) is that they will never have the close friendships,bonds and socialization opportunities they had in their school. I guess I'm scared about taking away the "best" part they had about being in a school...I just don't know how I can replace that while homeschooling...SIGH

  10. #9

    Default

    It isn't lame. A person can only do so much.

    I guess with older kids - I'm thinking of mine here - it gets to a point where you can only support them in what they decide to do about their social lives; you can't make it happen for them.

    And, you know, sometimes kids are lonely. Whether they are at school or homeschooled, whether they are neuro typical or not. It totally sucks. Especially when you can't seem to make the changes that might help them ( you ? ) become less lonely.

    And btw, I think you are on the right track with the essays. It's hard to learn structure and develop content at the same time.

  11. #10

    Default

    Okay, totally OT now, but my experience has been that it's often harder for *some* kids - especially kids really struggling with writing - to write about things they know a lot about. I used to try to get kids to write about music, for example, or things they were really into and it was often the worst writing they did - the most unreadable. I think learning content and skill can be easier for them at the same time because it removes the strong feelings about whatever they're writing about so they can focus more on the process.

    Of course, ideally you want kids writing about stuff they actually care about...
    Want to read about my homeschool?
    http://farrarwilliams.wordpress.com
    Children's Books, Homeschooling and Random Musings...

    Want help homeschooling or sending kids to college?
    http://simplify4you.com/

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us

SecularHomeschool.com was created to provide information, resources, and a place to share and connect with secular homeschoolers across the world. Secularhomeschool.com aims to be your one-stop shop for all things homeschool! We will be highlighting information about wonderful secular homeschool resources, and keeping you up to date with what is going on in the world of secular homeschooling. But that is only the beginning. SHS is your playground. A place to share the things that are important to you. A place to create and join groups that share your interests. A place to give and get advice. There are no limits to what you can do at Secular Homeschool, so join today and help build the community you have always wanted.

SecularHomeschool.com is a community and information source where secular homeschoolers ARE the majority. It is the home for non-religious homeschoolers, eclectic homeschoolers, freethinking homeschoolers AND anyone interested in homeschooling irrespective of religion. This site is an INCLUSIVE community that recognizes that homeschoolers choose secular homeschool materials and resources for a variety of reasons and to accomplish a variety of personal and educational goals. Although SecularHomeschool.com, and its members, have worked hard to compile a comprehensive directory of secular curricula, it does not attest that all materials advertised on our site, in our newsletters, or on our social media profiles are 100% secular. Rather, SecularHomeschool.com respects the aptitude of each individual homeschool parent to fully research any curriculum before acquiring it, to ensure that it holistically meets the educational, personal, and philosophical goals of each homeschooler.

Join us
a socialization whine