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  1. #1

    Default Is This Reasonable

    As dd11 will most likely be at school next year, I've been thinking about dd13 and how to do 'life' with her (She'll be 14+ by then.) 'School' is no bother, we're sorted with that.

    I'm thinking we might just quit the h/s community for her altogether. She's never really had a place there and both of us are over trying.

    She wants to do some volunteering - she's had these ideas - volunteering at a historic house, a community garden and a playgroup. This would be easy to organise. I want to send her to an extra art class - ceramics or sculpture - at a proper studio, not a h/s class. She'll be able to do work experience ( shadowing ) and she'll be babysitting 2xweek. And she'll be dancing/student teaching dance on the weekends. The only h/s contact she'll probably have is book club.

    Is that reasonable ? Seeing 9th grade as a time to start heading out into the real world in combination with academics ? Leaving the h/s world behind ?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
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    I guess I dont really undersand what you mean by 'leaving the homeschool world behind'. The volunteering could be a bit much if she's going to school full time - the homework can be overwhelming, depending on the school. But why WOULDNT she leave it behind, unless there are specific freinds or activities she WANTS to keep?
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  4. #3

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    It sounds fine to me. If she was really close with your local homeschool group, I would say that pulling her from that might not be a good idea. However, if she isn't really interested in being a part of that community, I wouldn't force it. The classes at an art studio, volunteering, babysitting, dancing, etc. all sounds great.

    We've had a very difficult time fitting in wiht our local hs community. The groups & co-ops just aren't for us. We're part of a group, but it never gets together. I've tried organizing volunteer & community service opportunities, book clubs, chess clubs, but everyone always flakes out at the last minute. We can't even get the group to do regular park days. So, the kids & I have decided to stop trying. We've been trying to get this group involved for years, but it just hasn't happened. We're planning some volunteer work for Dea at local animal sanctuaries (now that she's 13 & local places will finally allow her to volunteer). The kids are also planning some ideas to raise money for local charities. If Dea's interest in art continues, I'm going to look into classes for her.

    I guess I said all of that to say, you're not alone in feeling the need to involve your daughter in more real-world experiences instead of trying to fit into a group that just isn't working for you.

  5. #4

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    Cara, I guess we've kept trying out different h/s activities and groups all these years and staying involved with our community, such as it is, and now I'm thinking we may as well give up on all that. It's my older daughter, who is still going to be homeschooled, I'm talking about She won't have trouble combining volunteer work and academics - no homework!

    Brandi -always good to know it's not just us!

  6. #5

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    We're also leaving our co-op after this year...it just doesn't meet our needs anymore. There are so many other things they want to do with their time and effort. Honestly, I've seen this happen often as the hsing kids reach their teen years. They tend to start focusing on one or two interests and want to spend their time pursuing those, usually through part-time work, volunteering, job shadowing, etc.

    So if your dd is also ready to leave the homeschooling group behind, I say go with it.
    Carol

    Homeschooled two kids for 11 years, now trying to pay it forward


    Daughter -- a University of Iowa graduate: BA in English with Creative Writing, BA in Journalism, and a minor in Gender, Women & Sexuality Studies

    Son -- a Purdue University graduate: BS in Computer Science, minor in math, geology, anthropology, and history

  7. #6
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
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    Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. You know, you COULD put some info about your kids ages and such in your signature for people like me . . . who cant remember anything. I used to tell my boss - I can do anything with a number if you write it down for me, but I cant remember it long enough to walk back to my desk. Its really, really true.

    Anyways, no, if your daughter is ready to let go of it, let it go! When my daughter stopped taking most of her classes at the high school but at the community college, instead - she was 16, but she made a lot of freinds at the community college. She didnt keep in touch w them, but still - you can get socail contacts whereever you go!
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  8. #7

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    It sounds reasonable to me. I mean, when kids are younger, they really rely on us to support their socializing - assuming one isn't lucky enough to live in the same neighborhood as lots of kids the same age as yours, which in hs'ing is sort of unlikely. If we're not involved, making friends with the parents, then the kids won't have a sustained set of friends. But when they're older, at least when they've been homeschooling for awhile, then I would think it's much more incumbent on then to manage their own friendships and social lives. If a kid is brand new to homeschooling in high school, maybe they would need a push and some help. If a kid wanted to be involved in homeschool groups, then that would be one thing - but if you're both ready to part ways with the organized homeschool community for her, then it sounds completely reasonable to me.

    What about your ds though? Will you still have to put up with the annoyances of community on his behalf?
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  9. #8
    Senior Member Arrived pandahoneybee's Avatar
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    Sounds like you are doing what you think is best for your kiddos I think that is what everyone does here! When my oldest now 14 gets to be 16 I am going to let him do the classes of interest at the community college as well. He is way into animals and designing video games so I think that if he met more like minded people, he would love it! I totally understand about people having problems with their co-ops, i went thru about 3 before i found Cary Homeschoolers (who happen to be secular, YEAH me). They are a very active group and my oldest has two classes with his peers a week and game day at a local community center with the teens. Did any of that make sense?
    Pandahoneybee -
    Homeschooling two boys (17 and 12),3 dogs, 3 fish, 2 goats, 2 guineas and one grown man in NC since 2008! AND proud mama has 6 Rhode Island Red girls!!
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  10. #9

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    I thought it sounded reasonable! but just wanted to check...yes, it all makes sense! and Carol, I'm glad to hear this is something you see a lot. I'm really ready to let both dd's fly a little next year and so are they.

    Cara, yes, I will fix up my sig

    Farrar, yes, I will still need to be somewhat involved for ds...until I send him on h/s exchange to your place for a year or two
    Last edited by Stella M; 03-31-2011 at 05:31 PM.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Arrived Teri's Avatar
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    That is a very typical thing to do in our area. We had an enormous section of our homeschool co-op that was teens and they all left at once to pursue other interests. Co-op just can't fill that need when they get to a certain point. They docent at museums/living history areas, take college classes, go to a local place that provides middle/high school level classes to homeschoolers (but is not a co-op) and all kinds of other things.
    Our co-op is definitely geared toward the 6-12 set.
    Teri
    Joseph (5/00), Libby (10/01), Caroline (9/02) and Alex (4/89)
    My Blog

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