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  1. #21


    NZ_Mama, thank you for these wonderful posts! Having this information is so helpful and useful. If you could share the information about anxiety I would really appreciate it. I'm starting to realize that my 8yo operates with low level anxiety a lot of the time and I really want to help him recover and not feel so anxious.

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  3. #22


    Routine, routine, routine. Make sure her schoolwork is done before you leave the house. My oldest is in 5th, and we've been doing this since he started K. Unless we do a field trip (which happens once to twice a month), our day out of the house rarely begins before 1pm. My kids know if they don't get their work done (or at least make an honest effort), I will cancel the event to keep them home to finish.

    Another thing to consider is cutting down your time at the COOPs. Are they actually helpful or are they just glorified child/parent playdates that cut into your schedule and throw your routine off? If it is the second, drop one or even both of them.

    Most of the parents I meet who are in more than one COOP seem to have trouble keeping their kids on track, and they always appear super stressed and burned out. This is because most COOPs take up a half-to-whole schoolday and require parents to spend a lot of their own outside time making plans, because they volunteer coordinating classes. Educationally, I've found the ones we visited and participated in were like overpriced playdates.

    My kids get that kind of social time for *free* with friends (we find other homeschoolers through social get-togethers rather than do COOPs anymore), or super cheap through homeschool/afterschool programs through the Park & Rec, libraries, museums, theater groups, and nature centers. The added benefit of those is they don't eat into our schooltime, and I can just drop my kids off.
    Last edited by GloriousWeed; 02-08-2019 at 01:52 PM.

  4. #23


    Quote Originally Posted by GloriousWeed View Post
    Routine, routine, routine. Make sure her schoolwork is done before you leave the house. My oldest is in 5th, and we've been doing this since he started K. Unless we do a field trip (which happens once to twice a month), our day out of the house rarely begins before 1pm. My kids are finished their core schoolwork and ready to go. They know if they don't get it done (or at least make an honest effort), I will cancel the event to keep them home to finish.
    I second this. Once we get into a routine of how we do things, there is much less resistance. It doesn't eliminate it but it does reduce it after the first few weeks of getting used to the routine. One of my sons simply could not function without a routine. He probably would have done best with a strict schedule but as I am more of "fly by the seat of my pants" type and struggle with a strict schedule, we had to meet in the middle and have a set routine of how we did things every day otherwise he would turn into a stubborn, uncooperative little turkey lol.

  5. #24


    Yes, it sure doesn't eliminate it totally, but—man—it really helped us. All kids are going to have days they are frustrated, bored and annoyed with schoolwork—even if it is a super awesome cool interesting curricula.

    Another thing... Don't discount hormones. My friends who have daughters between 9-13 seem to encounter some of the more difficult behavior at that age. It may be worth looking into supplements (herbal and vitamins/minerals).

    The other day a girlfriend was telling me that her daughter was yelling that she "hated art." This is a kid who writes comics and loves to make a big mess cutting up paper and making things so this was a shock for her mom...

    Her mom said she stepped away, took a deep breath, and set up the acrylics. Then she said, "I know honey, but it's part of school. Just give it a try." 3 hours later, the kid was still painting into dinnertime.

  6. #25


    @Gloriousweed and MapleHillAcademy:

    I am so happy I decided to reach out via this thread: I have learned a lot, gotten some good ideas, and feel like I've had some new perspective. Thank you!

    I definitely agree with you. My daughter and I both like/need routine. And I have tried to create some. My routine breaks down in two major ways: for me, the beauty of homeschooling is that it allows me to say "yes" to lots of fun things, things that often come up at the last minute, thereby ruining any routine. So partly, I need to do better at *keeping* to a routine. Additionally, parts of my work schedule are set but many things change from day to day or week to week and I often have no choice but to change our routine for them. (Again, it's not just whether HS works for my daughter but whether I am capable of it.)

    Co-ops have been good for us. In many ways they likely are glorified playdates but, for us, they are firm on the calendar and that works well. (I need them because they keep her busy on days I am teaching. I don't participate in co-ops: I've been fortunate to have my girl tag along with another family.) And she loves them because she can count on seeing the same friends weekly, which feels good to her.

    All of these ideas and suggestions help me feel like I'm making a good effort but also let me know that, again, given our particular situation, HS might just not work out, no matter how much we both want it. I'm going to go over all these suggestions/advice/thoughts again and keep trying and hoping we can make it work. Trying to lay out a routine/plan, written down, at the beginning of each week is helpful, I think, even if it has to change somewhat. If we can both, perhaps, shift our attitudes and expectations a bit, maybe we can make some progress.

  7. #26


    You know? It sounds like you actually have your mind made up.

    If it's not working for you, that's totally okay. You should *not* feel guilty. Every family is different—there's no right or wrong—just what works best for your family. I always feel we look at homeschooling as a year-to-year process, and our number one priority is that it works for *everyone* in our family (including the non-homeschooling/working parent).

    If you decide to put her into school soon, this is a great time to figure it out. You can finish out the spring but at the same time you'd have plenty of time to transition her (and yourself) to whatever school you'd like to put her into. It's much easier to start a kid in a new class in the fall rather than the middle of the year. I've known way too many parents who wait until the last minute to decide what to do, uncontrollably burn out, and drop their kids into school with *no* transition period. It rarely works very well for the kids or the parents (though can be exceptions). Yes, emergencies happen and sometimes us parents have no choice but to drop kids into a school ASAP, but if you can avoid that, it's better.

    Do you like your district's schools? If not, are there affordable privates? It also may be worth exploring to see if there are any charters or alternative schools in your area that you may like over your public school.

    I never realized we had them until after we started homeschooling. Even ones out of our county will let kids in, but it's via a lottery system and county residents get priority. Our county also lets us put kids into schools outside our district. They shut down some schools a few years ago so they made that a doable thing for residents which gives us a lot more options to pick from than we had when my oldest was in K.

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