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  1. #11

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    In my mid-40s here. Been homeschooling since K for about 8 years now. There is no way I can answer your question unless I was a doctor and/or knew a lot more about your life—and even then?

    I *was* in a place like that, however, about a year or two ago. Turned out it was a combo. I made small changes. The two best changes I made were working on my hormones and changing our friend group. The other homeschoolers we spent time with were very clicky and there was a lot of pressure to do everything together and spend as much money as possible. Not surprising, these people were burnt out, in failing marriages and had money problems.

    I had enough. I left our COOP and stepped away from the group. This took very little energy to do, but it made a big difference. Suddenly, I had more energy. Apparently all that silly drama had been causing me a lot of stress and sucked up lot of energy...

    Then I started putting my kids into classes that were later in the day so we had time to have a regular schooling schedule at home. This has really enabled it so we can get work done without struggling. I also have them do a fun art class on the weekend through a local arts council. The kids love it, and because it's a couple hours long, DH and I have time for a lunch date.

    I've also taken time to learn to cook. A big problem our family had was not being able to sit down together at the table regularly. Regularly eating out and/or prepped freezer food was expensive and unhealthy.

    As for the hormone part, I took time to figure out what was going on with me and talked with my doctor. Sometimes it can help to see an endocrinologist. I may be doing that at some point. The biggest issue some women have can be progesterone deficiency (which I've always battled—even when I was younger), and supplementing for that has helped me.

    When you think about it, menopause is really a lot like adolescence. We get tired, moody, have crazy cycles, and can break out like teenagers. Sometimes it can make you "hormonal" in other ways as well (which totally can confuse poor husbands). ....So we should treat ourselves the way we care for our teenagers. ...like getting good nutrition and sleep can't be stressed enough at this time (our bodies need a lot of rest—as well as protein, magnesium and calcium). I made self-care a priority.

    But all that said, the accumulated small (and some not so small) changes I made helped me pick up a lot of energy. Sure, I still get grumpy and tired, but it's become manageable, and I actually feel healthier than I have in years! It's not just been positive for me but the whole family (goes back to the saying "if mamma ain't happy").

    So step back and assess. Then take baby steps to finding things to make your life easier... You'll probably find it's more than just one thing causing it. If it ends up including redelegating your work (including putting a couple kids in school), go for it and let go of the guilt.

    You know what's best for you. If you are worried about it impacting your kids, keep in mind it's so very important us parents are happy for our kids' sake. It helps us be more grounded and models for our children how to deal with stress (which can equal happier kids in the future).
    Last edited by GloriousWeed; 02-08-2019 at 09:01 AM.

  2. T4L In Forum Dec19
  3. #12

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    No problem! Thread detours are welcome. And I seem to be having a problem with hypertension...all my life before, I had fairly low blood pressure and pulse. Groan. I did have pre-e with my last pregnancy, and I am overweight, and who knows what all else. But I will be tracking my BP daily to look for a pattern in case it has to do with hormone fluctuations (it seems worst at that midcycle madness period). Meanwhile, I have to avoid salt, as I find it seems to go up now even minutes after eating something salty. Salt sensitivity, I found out, seems to go along with midlife BP increases. DASH diet, here I come. At least I'm familiar enough with low-sodium diets from when my hubby had to be on one.
    Middle-aged mom of 4 kids spanning a 10-year age range, homeschooling since 2009, and a public school mom also, since 2017.

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Is it burnout, or is it perimenopause?