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Thread: Deschooling?

  1. #11


    Quote Originally Posted by HawaiiGeek View Post
    He doesn't like putting on the oven because it makes the house smell a little bit like gas (it is a gas oven) and he is terrified of having a fire.
    I so understand this. I have anxiety about this even as an adult who did a PhD in Chemistry – you would think I learned to cope with my fear of flammable chemicals after 10 years in a laboratory (undergrad + postgrad)! But no, I hated when we had a gas oven, and now will procrastinate over things like filling up the car with gas because even that freaks me out because of the probably minuscule risk of static starting a fire. The one time I did have a significant fire in the laboratory I opened a flask with ether in it too soon after an experiment. So, the glassware was hot enough to be at the flash point of the ether and I got a fireball in my face and singed my eyelashes/eyebrows and a few inches of the ends of my hair. This happened the day after I had fire extinguisher training, but instead of putting that into action, I was just all "ahh a fire" and did nothing (someone else put it out for me).

    Anyway, just wanted to say I sympathize with him. Its hard to do stuff like that when you can envisage the impending doom if something goes wrong!

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  3. #12


    Quote Originally Posted by inmom View Post
    Thank you so much for posting this. We are not homeschooling anymore, but what you and the blog describe certainly fits my kids, especially my daughter. I look forward to seeing what I can find in her writings to help them.

    Edited to add: OMG--this describes both my kids exactly. Not necessarily the high IQ part (I have no idea what those would be) but the overthinking about all the world's ills--climate change, political upheaval, injustices--then feeling depressed and/or anxious when they feel it's all out of their control. Would you recommend that my kids also read her book?
    I found the book really helpful. Not so much for 'solving' problems, but providing an understanding of myself so I am more accepting of my 'quirks' and worries rather than thinking something is wrong with me and I need to change. Its just me. It has also helped with my DH. He understands more why I do certain things and what I am going to get anxious about. I also have more of a realization of the fact that I can be a difficult person to live with. The expectations I have of what others can do are somewhat unrealistic, so I let more things go. Its not my kids/DH being annoying and forgetting to do certain jobs or things in a certain way, even though I have asked multiple times, my expectations are just too high.

    There is a fabulous section in it on procrastination, which I have huge troubles with, and having that understanding of why I probably procrastinate has helped me work on that.

    I also have no idea of my IQ. I always did well academically in school but I was never tested. I only came to read about all this after my daughter was tested (by an educational psychologist) after being in counselling/therapy for her anxiety issues and the therapist suggested the cognitive assessment. Then I read more and found it described my own behavior.

  4. #13


    I understand from my friends in the USA that cognitive assessments by educational/developmental psychologists over your way can be expensive. However, if you can afford it, I would totally recommend it. It provided such insight into the way my daughter behaves and learns. Hers was done in 2 hourly sessions over a couple of days, so that she did not get tired. She has slow processing speed and does not perform well on or tolerate testing, but for her at least, the cognitive assessments were not like a test in school. She really enjoyed them and said they were fun. She had a whole barrage of different assessments, including non-IQ based ones, like the draw-a-person test and another where she had to draw a picture with set things in it (a house, water, a tree, a fence, a gate, flowers, and so forth) that apparently show things about her personality. So that was really interesting. It was also nice to learn in one of the tests that despite the extreme anger, depression, and anxiety that she was suffering from at the time, that underneath all that, she had a really high rating of her view of herself in terms of self-worth and positive image.

  5. #14


    We had a bad experience paying for testing in Hawaii for the older 2 to figure out if they had dyslexia etc. I really don't want to deal with the school district to get testing done. Where do you usually recommend kids get tested?
    DS16 with ASD, DD12 and DS10

  6. #15


    Sorry I don't know where you would look for advice on who to do testing in the USA. We used a group of educational/developmental psychologists that specialized in working with children with a range of learning difficulties and differences. Can you search for educational psychologists in your area and ring and talk to to see if their aims would gel with yours. For example, if you are wanting to test to focus more on behavior/emotion rather than IQ results being the sole outcome, but they mainly test just to provide IQ results for whatever reason (advancement in school etc.), then it may not be a good match. Or is there a local gifted or 2E (twice exceptional) group that you could contact for advice on who to use?

    I understand the not wanting to do it if you had a bad experience before. It is a lot of money! (and I think its 'cheap' here in NZ from what friends in the US have told me).

  7. #16


    What NZMama said about the value of a good psych-ed evaluation. It can be worth it.

    I don't know what your bad experience was exactly, but that's unfortunate. Paying for it out of pocket should lead to a better experience. Your pediatrician is a good place to start for recommendations. But I'd also ask on a local homeschool list in the hopes that someone has someone homeschool friendly - there's a psychologist in my general area who does this almost exclusively for homeschoolers. But finding someone who works a lot with kids from small, private schools could also be a good fit.
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  8. #17


    Unfortunately the issue was each day of testing was by a different psych student interning at the facility and then the write up for DD decided she had autism because she had HIGH empathy. This particular psych-d was working on a theory that girls with autism have high empathy. I would have gone with the diagnosis of autism for my daughter if her ADOS indicated autism, but the ADOS was a 1 and to get a diagnosis of autism you have to have 6. So I get that girls with autism are different than boys with autism, but I like some actual clinical basis for the diagnosis vs just a feeling. And for this we paid 2500$, also her IQ was tested as low normal and they got my son as in the MR range. They both have spelling issues and DS has dyscalculia but it was surprising at how low the IQs were. I didn't expect either of them to have high IQs, but definitely thought DD would be above 100. Anyhoo, will have to talk with pediatrician and see what is available.
    DS16 with ASD, DD12 and DS10

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