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  1. #1

    Default How to find Secular Homeschool Families?

    I'm curious how you find others in your community? A quick google search only turns up religious affiliated groups in my area (and nothing in the secular/inclusive map on here). But I imagine there are SOME in the area. How have you connected with others?

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  3. #2


    We're all somewhat introverted in the family...dd being the exception. Mostly, we've met fellow homeschoolers through events and classes. We see each other often enough, you just start saying "hi" to each other, then it progresses from there. Honestly some of our favorite homeschool people (IRL!) are, shhh!, religious types. The only reason we all get along is our kids like each other, and we all embrace the live-and-let-live rule. No proselytizing. There might be some kidding going on amongst the parents ("how's that waking up and going to church thing working out for you?" when your own family just tumbled out of bed to meet them all for brunch, etc.) but nah not so much with the kids, you know? In my daughter's eyes, all kids = fun.

    Frankly most of our friends (including my daughter's besties) are not homeschooled. They're mostly from her old private school (we left after 2nd grade). And every last family is godless. Soooo, if I need to have religious friends hah I find them in the homeschool crowd around here. It's mostly ok. I just never, ever talk curriculum.
    Eclectically homeschooling 8th grade dd, who likes science as much as art...

  4. #3
    Senior Member Enlightened
    Join Date
    Jan 2016


    We found out two weeks ago where the military is moving us this summer. I started off with joining a couple of FB homeschool groups for the area. They were all religiously based, but after some wading through old posts in them I discovered a couple of inclusive and secular FB groups being mentioned in comments. I did end up having to private message a couple of people to find these groups. It feels like I'm searching for something secretive. ha ha. I'm hoping this will give me a starting off point for getting involved with others after we move. Google search really didn't turn up anything other than the two major religious homeschooling organizations for that area.

  5. #4


    This is my question all the time. In fact, I've asked this question recently to the families in WA and got no response. We are considering a job in Yakima and would like to hook up with secular high school homeschool kids.

    I have found that most people reply they are introverted. Most of the secular families we've met in the Boise area are that - introverted. I am an introvert, problem is, I gave birth to an extremely extroverted person and she NEEDS friends. I found a few groups on Facebook, but my girls thought the kids were rude and cliquish.

    People on this forum have suggested just getting your kids involved in sports, clubs, music etc, and they will make friends that way. We have tried that and since we live in such a relgiously saturated area, it's not been successful for my daughter. With that said, we keep on trying - or I do, rather.
    Homeschooling Mamarama
    Native Idahoan Atheist
    Eclectically homeschooling since 2006.

    Son (20) - Class of 2014
    Daughter (17) - Class of 2016
    Daughter (15) - Class of 2019

  6. #5
    Senior Member Arrived skrink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010


    It took a looooong time. Most of the groups around here that aren't YEC are "inclusive" which at least in this area seems to be code for multi-denominational xtian. Sigh. I don't mind hanging with religious folks. Some of the nicest people I've met here have some kind of religion in their lives. I DO mind the judgement, the gender role enforcement, the attempts to convert, and the out-and-out nastiness of so many of the fundies I've come across. They are the vast majority of homeschoolers (and the general population) in my area. Secular folks tend to hide out on the fringes, if they poke their heads up at all. FB actually helped us find one another, and over the last few years a decent sized group of us has formed. It's funny, though. It didn't turn out to be the nirvana we are always led to believe it will be. We are a motley mix of folks, and when all you have is secular homeschooling in common? Not enough, at least not for me. It reminds me of the mommy groups I was exposed to when we first moved here and I was lonely and looking for playmates for dd. "Join a mommy group" was the advice everyone gave me. Um, we're all mothers. That alone is supposed to be the basis of deep friendships? *shrugs*
    Skrink - mama to my 14 yo wild woman

  7. #6


    Do PS parents ask themselves this? Do extroverted PS kids have plentiful satisfying friendships with their peers?
    I just wonder if we make this problem a mountain when its really a molehill. And that we feel guilty and responsible, since we are the ones with control over who our kids will see.

    But yah, another set of introvert parents here that have produced at least one extrovert.
    And it doesnt help that nobody plays outside in the neighborhood anymore. Kids and cats, kept indoors nowadays.
    Homeschooling DS13, DS6.


    My spelling was fine, then my brain left me.

  8. #7


    Yeah, don't get too obsessed with finding the secular AND homeschool combo. Just find friends where your KIDS interests are....same goes for you.

    Hippiebutterfly......expect Eastern WA to be similar in conservative/religious tone to ID (with the exceptions of college towns, Spokane and Pullman). So Yakima....hsers will be predominately religious.
    Last edited by muddylilly; 04-13-2016 at 02:58 PM. Reason: I said DO get obsessed and meant DON'T! Need more coffee
    Homeschooling two sons (14 and 16) from day one. Atheist.
    Eclectic, Slackschooler covering 8th and 10th grades this year.

  9. #8


    I found a couple local-ish secular groups on Facebook. It did take a little digging, but once I found one or two nonreligious people in religious HS groups, they led me to others.
    working-at-home mother of two.
    homeschooling the 11yo boy.
    the girl is 14 (8th grade) and loves her public school.
    they are very very different kids.

  10. #9


    I will also say that our finding those few god-less needles in the homeschool haystack around here was a bit disappointing. Remember I said my daughter really thinks all kids are fine (until they're not, you know, if they're mean or whatever) and can take playing with almost any kid for a short amount of time.

    Those needles in the haystack though? Ugh, people who didn't believe in dentistry for their kids (baby teeth = apparently you don't need teeth) and another family that were pretty much too old and cool to play with dd (even though she was 2 years younger than their youngest) and then the other family who just would not believe that their kids had LDs. I know this kind of stuff is not limited to non-religious homeschoolers but sheesh this avoidance of dentists, medical professionals and you know science in general seems pretty rampant in our corner of the homeschooling world. [ETA: I am not necessarily saying these kids are in danger, they'll probably be fine, but if they'd been in public school most likely the teeth thing and the speech thing and the dyslexia might have been spotted and addressed...earlier than their parents seem to be getting around to, anyway. And no I am not normally Judgy McJudgy Boots, these things were obvious to anyone spending 10 mins with the kids.]

    Maybe secular homeschool nirvana is out there, but the only place I seem to have found it is HERE.
    Last edited by fastweedpuller; 04-13-2016 at 02:43 PM.
    Eclectically homeschooling 8th grade dd, who likes science as much as art...

  11. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by fastweedpuller View Post
    Maybe secular homeschool nirvana is out there, but the only place I seem to have found it is HERE.
    There is one really great secular HS group about 25 miles from here, in a college town. I wish it were a little closer, so we could do more with them, because they're pretty diverse, and full of common sense. There are a couple in the group with some views I am not super into, but in general, they're really great. So I know they exist out there, but I also know that they aren't in every town (the other city, closer to me, has no such awesome group)
    working-at-home mother of two.
    homeschooling the 11yo boy.
    the girl is 14 (8th grade) and loves her public school.
    they are very very different kids.

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How to find Secular Homeschool Families?