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Such Lovely Freckles

Staying true to yourself

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So I read Ginny's post about "The grass is greener" moments she experiences with her friend, and it inspired to write this post. Take it for what it's worth.

I grew up in a country, where homeschooling still is, and will be illegal for a long time. I don't see Germany changing their laws anytime soon. So the decision to homeschool was quite enormous for me. Among my German friends I'm still considered a freak, who is doing a disservice to her children. After each vacation, be it summer or Christmas, I read Facebook status updates from mothers who "can't wait for the kids to FINALLY go back to school", because "it's just too damn exhausting to have them home all the time and *gasp* entertain them too".

Quite frankly, every now and then I secretly wonder what it would be like to drive the kids to the school down the street, then go back home... and... uh... sit in my big empty house. LOL Yes, whenever I reach the second part of my thought I realize, that I really don't want to sit in my big, empty house all alone. I live with and for my children. My life revolves around them. Well... mostly...

The fact is, that as homeschooling moms we are in a bit of danger to lose ourselves in the process. It's so easy to get wrapped up in curriculum, activities, research, reading all the right books, and spending a majority of our time with our kids and their friends, and our homeschool mom friends (which is great, don't get me wrong. My homeschool mommy friends are my very best friends!). But there is something else to life, and in my opinion, there should be something else to life, than only our children. Because, let's face it, someday they'll be "out of here", and we will sit in our big, empty houses, wondering what the heck we should to with ourselves (and our spouses.)

I used to be a cosmetologist with an excellent degree from Germany, if I say so myself. But this degree is worth diddly in the United States. I'd have to back to beauty school for a year, if I wanted to work in my old job. And I'm sorry, but beauty school, at age 35? I just don't see it.
I did always enjoy writing though, and so three years ago I signed up for a couple of writing courses, and today I'm a published writer, and I am currently editing my very first book, hoping to find a publisher this year. The beauty about writing is, that I can do it at home. I can do it in the middle of the night, if I want to. It's fun and it satisfies me, and I make a little bit of money with it.
Earlier this year I applied with Foundation Beyond Belief to be their Parent Community Coordinator... and was hired. I work about 15 hours a week for the foundation, I write a few hours a week, and I make sure to have the occasional Moms Night Out.

In November of last year my 42 year old friend asked me if I wanted to train with her and another friend for a half marathon. Of course I did. My friend seriously kicked my behind (LOL), but hey, I ran my very first half marathon three weeks ago, and it was absolutely exhilarating to run through that finish line.

My point is, even with the busy life we have as homeschooling mothers, there is always the opportunity to make time for yourself and do something YOU want, that YOU feel passionate about, and that YOU will love to remember. And it doesn't have to be in a big way. I have friends, who started knitting and joined a knitting circle. My best friend has gone from a beginning knitter to teach ME how to knit socks. Another friend started a meetup for homeschool moms. And another has joined a running group.

Well, I'm done with my rant. You are getting my point. And I'll shut up now. :-)
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Comments

  1. Topsy's Avatar
    Beautifully, beautifully put, lady!! When my kids were younger, I seriously didn't exist outside of the realm of "mommy." I centered my world around them, which had its advantages, but also its disadvantages. I'm having to "educate" them day by day now toward understanding that I am not solely put on earth to solve their every problem and to be at their beckon call. It took me a while to realize that a well-rounded mommy is a happier mommy, and therefore a BETTER mommy than someone who was stifling their independence. It was a difficult lesson for me to learn...here's hoping your post will help other moms not to make those same mistakes. Kudos!!
  2. ginnyjf's Avatar
    I second Topsy - fantastic post! You said what was on my mind much more eloquently than I could. I think because I have friends from such different backgrounds, who have chosen such different paths for their lives, that it's too easy for me to fall into the comparison trap or to think that I'm somehow living a diminished life because I'm "just" a mom, or "just" a homeschooler. I've been trying to put as much time into finding activities to nourish myself as I have been at finding homeschool resources. I've even started a Bucket List, as hokey as that may be. I just don't want to drop Zack off at college one day and then have my first thought be, "Now what the hell do I do?"
  3. elinnea's Avatar
    Great post! It always makes me sad too when I read or hear other people talk about how they can't wait for their kids to go back to school. I really truly enjoy being with my kids although the noise and mess I could live without sometimes. Regaining my sense of self is something that I really struggle with- I have a hard time taking time for ME even though I know it's important. Your post is really inspiring. Thanks!
  4. jazzyfizzle's Avatar
    Wonderful post! I am right with you.
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