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Cara's weekly panic 25 December, 2009

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Originally posted in the forums on Nov 28, 2009, but one responder suggested it would make a good blog post - maybe you can relate?

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Ok, am I the only one? On a regular basis, maybe after reading a blog, or a post on a group, or talking to other home schoolers, or seeing some curriculum reviews, or seeing other kids . . .I'm sure I'm doing it wrong, or dont have what it takes, and the reasons I'm sure I'm failing are not only diverse, but often conflicting. You know, like:

* I'm going to fail because I'm not a Zen master who has her home always peaceful and beautiful with children who seem happy all the time
* I'm a failure because my children don't do worksheets
* I'm going to fail because my kids will never learn self-direction because I give them scheduled work (and even a check-list for my 13 yo with emotional/developmental issues)
* I'm a failure because, when I'm not making them do otherwise, all they want to do is play video games.
* I'm going to fail because sometimes I start our day so late, we don't get to half of the planned activities
* I'm a failure because my kids are spending too much time on the basics and not enough time on more important things, like creativity, or philosophical discussions, or learning more about current events, or the deeper symbolism in the literature we're reading together (wait, I'm not even reading any of my older son's stuff!)
* I'm a failure because i 'buy in to' the labels the scores of doctors gave my 13 yo
* I'll never succeed because I never get around to using half of the curriculum i have sitting on my shelves and hard drive
* I'm doing it all wrong because I'm using computer resources instead of 'pure' resources, or because I'm using actual text books
* I'll never keep up w the public schools if I skip school when I'm having a bad day
* I'm a failure because I don't manage to do home school, keep the garden pretty, keep the house clean, and volunteer in the community with my children all at the same time with a smile on my face
* I'm doing it wrong because we either are taking too many or too few classes, or the wrong kinds, or because we don't do co-ops, or I'm too lazy to drive more than 20 minutes to anything (unless its a free museum trip and then maybe 30)
* I'm doing it wrong because I'm not always in love with the idea of home schooling and freely admit that, if my kids were better adjusted and could handle school without either calling me hysterical from school, or waking up every morning begging not to go back . . .

waaaaaahhhhhh!
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Comments

  1. wild_destiny's Avatar
    You make me smile, Cara! I knew I had to read this when it was titled "Cara's Weekly Panic"! Don't sweat the small stuff--I have failed at most of those things and more, but I am still here kicking. You are doing just fine! (Plus, when it comes to making people smile, you are definitely NOT a failure!)
  2. elkhollow's Avatar
    Thank you, Cara, for this because it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has these panic attacks. Reading your blog was like seeing in written form the running dialogue in my head. After I put my oldest in school for a brief moment the dialogue changed to reflect all my worries about her being at school and wondering whether I'd made the right decision (we decided that we didn't). This worry is natural. We love our kids.
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