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crunchynerd
02-11-2013, 07:44 AM
If you had to choose one or the other with no "other" or "maybe" or "I don't know" allowed, would you describe yourself as more introverted, or extroverted?

Stella M
02-13-2013, 03:52 PM
More introverted.

I don't particularly like a lot of alone time, but I do like a lot of side by side time - quiet company.

If I have to be 'on', like yesterday, running a co-op meeting, or at an event, I'm pretty much wrecked for the next day.

And I would definitely never go to a party to recharge my batteries :)

Recharging for me means a book and a bed. Retreat.

mpippin
02-13-2013, 03:55 PM
Introverted. Being with people, especially strangers, is draining on my mind, and I tend to need lots of time to chill after being with people, my immediate family being the only exception.

I find entertaining guests exhausting. I hate house guests. I loathe parties. I love quiet time at home. Yep. Introvert.

farrarwilliams
02-13-2013, 04:00 PM
I'm an outgoing introvert. I really like people and groups... but I also have to hide from them if I'm around them too much.

Stella M
02-13-2013, 04:12 PM
Yeah, we have friends who keep inviting us to go camping with a group of other homeschoolers. It is my idea of hell...nowhere to hide from being sociable once the first two hours are over...

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
02-13-2013, 04:20 PM
Introvert with an extra big, dayglow orange uppercase I.

wendygrace
02-13-2013, 04:23 PM
Yep, I love to talk to people...about once a week. I recharge best alone...usually in a bath with a good book. Hence the reason I'm usually scattered and stressed.

Paula
02-13-2013, 04:42 PM
I once took a Myers-Briggs test that concluded I was 95% introvert. I think it was wrong. I'm at least 97-99% introverted. The plus side is I can fake being a gregarious extrovert for 1.5 hours at work (tutoring or running a workshop), but I pay for it afterward.

Lianne13
02-13-2013, 04:52 PM
I was an extrovert when I was a kid but somewhere between high school and the military I did a 180, and now I hate being around a lot of people. This (online) is the closest thing to a group that I ever like to get.

mpippin
02-13-2013, 04:55 PM
I wonder if online is how we introverts get our chatty on in general. I like you lot. You don't exhaust me mentally. Okay, well, sometimes you do. ;) But I mean, I get my chattiness taken care of here. I relate here. And then I go off and feel connected to humanity without the need to decontaminate myself (like after a real-life social encounter).

MrsJadeDragon
02-13-2013, 04:58 PM
Total introvert here. I like my little bubble.

dragonfly
02-13-2013, 05:34 PM
SUCH an introvert. I used to go to big parties or gatherings, have a good time, and come home and bawl uncontrollably. It was just too much for me, even though I had fun around people I liked. Now I have a better grasp on how to protect myself from the over-stimulation so it doesn't happen as much. Plus, I try to avoid big crowds for extended periods of time.

I wish I were more extroverted. Sometimes I really envy everyone else who is having a good time and getting all energized by being around others. I'm more extroverted online here, but not on Facebook, Twitter, or most email lists. I usually feel too self-conscious about posting, especially about myself. Plus, I had a bad experience many years ago on an e-list that makes me very leery about posting much anymore.

I've shared this before, but it's worth repeating, because it's a perfect description: How to Live with Introverts by =SchroJones on deviantART (http://schrojones.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Live-with-Introverts-291305760)

Stella M
02-13-2013, 05:51 PM
I wonder if online is how we introverts get our chatty on in general. I like you lot. You don't exhaust me mentally. Okay, well, sometimes you do. ;) But I mean, I get my chattiness taken care of here. I relate here. And then I go off and feel connected to humanity without the need to decontaminate myself (like after a real-life social encounter).

Yes, this.

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
02-13-2013, 06:39 PM
Wow, 100% introverts so far in the poll. All the extrovert SHS-ers must be out socializing and chatting and mingling... or whatever it is that extroverts do.

Batgirl
02-13-2013, 08:41 PM
I wonder if online is how we introverts get our chatty on in general. I like you lot. You don't exhaust me mentally. Okay, well, sometimes you do. ;) But I mean, I get my chattiness taken care of here. I relate here. And then I go off and feel connected to humanity without the need to decontaminate myself (like after a real-life social encounter).

I don't know. Kinda. I get drained if I do too much of this too. Especially if there's drama. I mean, you all are real people, right? Even if we never meet irl.

Stella M
02-13-2013, 08:57 PM
Wow, 100% introverts so far in the poll. All the extrovert SHS-ers must be out socializing and chatting and mingling... or whatever it is that extroverts do.

I wonder whether in some ways, introverts might be more inclined to chose to homeschool ?

skrink
02-13-2013, 09:03 PM
I have discovered recently a need for people (outside of immediate family). A year ago I would have said zero need. As I get older I appreciate some of the give and take of groups and the feeling of belonging, but too much makes me weepy and frantic to escape. Lots of folks - dh included - don't get this.

skrink
02-13-2013, 09:07 PM
Yeah, we have friends who keep inviting us to go camping with a group of other homeschoolers. It is my idea of hell...nowhere to hide from being sociable once the first two hours are over...

Oy. Yeah, right there with you. Actually gave me the shivers!

Stella M
02-13-2013, 09:12 PM
Lol, weepy and frantic...yes...

I know what you mean skrink...I pushed myself last year to go to a craft group regularly...it had the nice things about being in a group but at the same time, you could be quiet and focus on listening/sewing if you didn't have the energy.

I like people OK> Just in smallish doses.

TriciaJ
02-13-2013, 09:15 PM
I'm really happy that I don't have any ENFP friends right now. No more having to talk on the phone for a minimum of 2 hours....or sitting there staring at their mouth and zoning out, wishing I could escape. Sometimes when I'm at work I'll move things around for people instead of asking them to do it because I just can't be bothered to talk. Even reading books to my child makes me yawn like crazy, even if I'm not tired. Talking = too much work.

ourjourney
02-13-2013, 09:24 PM
Another Introvert here. I prefer the occasional company of a handful of close friends over the constant barrage of large groups of acquaintances or worse yet strangers with whom I am expected to make polite small talk. Lots of social time leaves me exhausted mentally and physically, but no social time leaves me lonely and if it goes on for long enough depressed.

Batgirl
02-13-2013, 09:37 PM
I wonder whether in some ways, introverts might be more inclined to chose to homeschool ?

I would think so. The social networking aspect of public school is huge for a lot of the moms there. At least at our local ps, it is. There are also a higher than average number of SAHMs in our neighborhood.

jess
02-13-2013, 10:28 PM
Wow, the poll results are fascinating!


I'm an outgoing introvert. I really like people and groups... but I also have to hide from them if I'm around them too much.

Farrar, you ALWAYS post what I'm thinking (well, 99% of the time, anyways). It's scary.


I wonder whether in some ways, introverts might be more inclined to chose to homeschool ?
I think so. I suspect introverts are more likely to have had a difficult experience in public school, and are less likely to consider the social aspects of public school to be a good thing. We're also more likely to be able to tolerate the idea of being at home with kids without a lot of social outlet.

Personally, I've found myself leaning more towards the extroverted side over the past several years, partially because social isolation does help to develop an appreciation of social time and interaction with adults, and partially because my job has forced me to at least fake it to some extent. I think I've found a balance of social and alone (or rather, with just family) time that makes me feel more extroverted because my limits aren't being pushed. But I'm still introverted.

farrarwilliams
02-13-2013, 10:40 PM
This is fascinating. Everyone, huh?

I also have wondered if society in general is just becoming more introverted. I mean, we used to be so much more rooted in community. Now, the forces that shape us are so much more fragmented and potentially overwhelming. Maybe we're encouraging introversion more.

Also, everyone has read Quiet, I hope.

RachelC
02-13-2013, 10:40 PM
I am an introvert, if I have to pick, but I LOVE long conversations with a good friend. I actually love to talk, and do well when teaching a group, for example. But I hate small talk, and don't really enjoy big groups. I like parties and social gatherings if I have a person or two who I can talk to pretty much the whole time, and don't have to try to get along with everyone there ;)

I wasn't sure a few years ago which category I fit into because of some of the above things, but since I often feel like get-togethers are just too much work, I figure I am an introvert.

Stella M
02-13-2013, 11:30 PM
Yep, it's more about what recharges you than how social you are, isn't it ?

I am good enough at faking it that new friends will consider me outgoing. Quiet has some interesting things to say about faking extroversion.

Farrar, I wonder whether community in the past was just much less demanding ? In that your engagement with others was much more predictable - same groups, same people, same times - and that the amount of novelty people had to deal with was less ?

Predictability and lack of novelty are comfortable to an introvert.

Whereas with the lives we lead now - at least anywhere urban I guess - engagement with the community is more unpredictable and full of constant change of people, making it more likely that introverts will retreat in discomfort...

Idk. It's interesting though.

Avalon
02-13-2013, 11:43 PM
Well, I answered "introvert" before I saw the poll results. I think that I am WAAAAAY more extroverted than many of you are describing here. I've taken the Myers-Briggs test a few times, and I always flip-flop between introvert & extrovert.

I really need a certain amount of face-time with people. When my kids were little, I could handle staying home for one or two days. If I had to stay home all day for three days in a row, I was ready to commit suicide. The idea of a group camping trip sounds awesome, an amazing opportunity to really get to know people and form memories and bonds. I don't like small-talk or big parties, but that's because I prefer to have a real conversation with one or two people.

Compared to my husband, though, I am the quiet, reserved one. He literally feeds off the attention of others. He gets super-charged by going to parties and laughing and joking around with a big group of people. He is more energized at the end of the night than the start of it.

Kateroo
02-13-2013, 11:52 PM
Talkative introvert here.

The results are wild!

MrsLOLcat
02-13-2013, 11:56 PM
I think becoming introverted is more socially acceptable than it used to be, and I also wonder if an extrovert is simply an introverted person who is or has become highly comfortable in his/her own skin. Here's why I say this: I consider myself an introvert. I enjoy being at home most of the time and most of my hobbies are at-home sorts of things. I love reading, writing, puttering in my garden, and hanging out at home most evenings. Despite that, many of my friends consider me an extrovert... a big one. I don't mind going out and am several people's 'go-to' person when they want to get out for dinner or drinks. I'm actually headed out tomorrow night with a couple girls; we just set it up a couple hours ago. When I do go out, I thoroughly enjoy myself, and I do come back refreshed. I am part of a Red Cross club, and last year our club was named Club of the Year; from what I understand, we may win again this year. With the prize comes the ability to go to a dinner and receive the award. Our club leader absolutely refuses to go and has asked me if I will go this year if we receive the award again. I am happy to do that. I have no problems standing up in front of a large group and receiving the award, and I don't mind talking to random people next to me at dinner. I don't enjoy giving speeches, but I'm not scared of it, either. I don't mind meeting new people and easily introduce myself to strangers. I love setting up get-togethers and started a stay-at-home mom's group when DS was 2 that's still alive and well today (I'm no longer part of it because I'm too busy doing other things). When we moved into this house, we had a huge housewarming party with probably 30-40 people in my house, and I had a BLAST. I was genuinely sad when it was over.

But I still consider myself an introvert. When I take the Myers-Briggs test, I always get 'I.'

Maybe it's just the Aries in me that comes out around other people ;)

melissa
02-14-2013, 12:09 AM
I am no doubt an introvert, possibly bordering on a hermit. I am perfectly happy at home with just my son and husband around. I can stress for days about having to go to a social event. I usually end up having a great time, it's just the thought of having to be "on" that gets me.

Stella M
02-14-2013, 12:34 AM
Idk, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin and it hasn't made me more extroverted.

I think you can be good at organising and dealing with people and public speaking and still be introverted.

I have a bossy gene in there that helps out with all that :)

Stella M
02-14-2013, 12:37 AM
[QUOTE=Avalon;115500]The idea of a group camping trip sounds awesome, an amazing opportunity to really get to know people and form memories and bonds. I don't like small-talk or big parties, but that's because I prefer to have a real conversation with one or two people.

QUOTE]

See, I am thinking why would I really want to form that many bonds and make that many memories, lol. It sounds exhausting. You can go for me...

melissa
02-14-2013, 12:44 AM
Ha! Stella, that is just what I was thinking when I read that post earlier.

Batgirl
02-14-2013, 01:03 AM
Nah, introversion vs. extroversion has to do with how your nervous system is wired to process experience. It is a real neurological difference. Introverts take longer to process stuff than extroverts. If they get too much coming in, they literally get overloaded and need to withdraw. It's the longer processing time that creates the "depth" introverts are known for. Extroverts have a shorter processing time, and so have less of a chance to make associations.

mpippin
02-14-2013, 01:45 AM
Comfortable in my own skin, too. I am never, ever sad when a social event is over. I often enjoy myself, in my own way, at social events, until I hit my limit. Then, I'm feeling like, "must. leave. now." Enjoying myself often means sitting back and watching others' actions, and talking to just one or two people quietly in a corner of the room.

Oh, and I can't force things. If we're not working out socially, I feel awkward about it but I cannot force it. I would rather just sit next to you in deafening silence than force some sort of social interaction. THAT would be way too exhausting for me.

Stella M
02-14-2013, 02:19 AM
Ha! Stella, that is just what I was thinking when I read that post earlier.

We need introvert camp - tents have to be set up a certain distance from each other, mandatory quiet time during the day and wifi so we can lie on our camp beds and have a nice, virtual chat about the sunsets.

JinxieFox
02-14-2013, 04:53 AM
So I'm the one extrovert for now...?!

I love being in a group of people. What can I say? I'm a show-off. Getting attention is fun! I'm still the 4-year-old me who would put on a tu-tu and dance to "Grease" to entertain guests. The difference between me at 4 and as an adult? Um, not much.

Oh, I do incredibly well with alone time. In fact, I need solitude to recharge. However, I prefer having someone to talk to other than my house plants. Otherwise, I go kind of crazy.

Parties, gatherings, and all of that? I love them. Not in my house, mind you (I hate cleaning up after a big get-together). But I love 'em. I'd wither and fade without our weekly D&D game, having our friends over, being loud and gregarious...

Starkspack
02-14-2013, 05:16 AM
I consider myself a high-functioning introvert. :) Very far "I" on the Myers Briggs for sure, and definitely need to be alone and recharge. But I am with people all day long at work, can speak to groups with no problems, love to teach, etc. I can "be" very extroverted, but it takes a toll. Then I must hole up and regroup. I dislike parties and large group functions, and cannot stand situations where I'm forced to make small talk with people I don't know or know but don't like much. Ick.

Paula
02-14-2013, 09:11 AM
Echoing Stella, I, too, am comfortable in my skin, but it has never changed me into an extrovert. For me, introversion vs. extroversion is about where energy and stamina derive from, how energy is recharged and our thought process. When we talk about introversion, we all want to point out how we suck in social situations. While that is true is an extrovert world with its parties every weekend and the pressure to have a gazillion friends, I prefer living in my introvert world where there ARE many social strengths.

Most introverts can talk at length and deeply with someone rather than flit from one surface conversation to another. Many introverts establish deep connections with a handful of people (I feel like I know the deep inner psychological workings of my immediate family and a couple close friends). Lots of introverts enjoy getting into deep discussions and can hold their own with meaningful conversations. Introverts have the stamina to pay attention to long lectures without getting fidgety or tired. And these are only some examples, but an extrovert world does not usually value these traits as much as it values the skill of small-talk, earning the center of attention, and having 500 Facebook friends.

I do sometimes wish I were more in the middle, because each has its strengths, but I'm proud to be an introvert, even if that means I will hate talking on the phone with you but would love talking to you about something deep and meaningful.

RachelC
02-14-2013, 09:44 AM
I know a few ppl I would consider 'true' extroverts. What they all have in common is that needing to be out and with people almost constantly. My sister is like this. They just don't enjoy being alone. There is a visible difference in their energy. Of course, there is a spectrum there, but they are the ones that always want to be around people.

Introverts seem harder to pin down. I am fine being alone, but like a lot of ppl here said, I don't want to be alone all the time. I love human interaction, but I want it to be meaningful. When I go to Zumba class, I don't talk to anyone. I have no interest in asking everyone, how are yoooouuuu?! But if I run into a friend at the grocery store, we will stand and talk in the parking lot for an hour. I am always looking for connections. If there isn't one, it is really hard for me to be bothered. I don't really keep casual friends, unless our connection is something like work, book club, a play group, and we only see each other there. I hate having to have coffee with someone I can't talk to.

It's funny; my husband considered himself an extrovert (hey, I like people!), until a few years ago when it became all the rage to talk about intro vs extro, and he read some more info on it and examples. Now he thinks he is more of an introvert for the same reasons most of us have. It was different when we were pre-kids, in our 20s, and out partying. We were both 'extroverted' then ;)

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
02-14-2013, 11:40 AM
We need introvert camp - tents have to be set up a certain distance from each other, mandatory quiet time during the day and wifi so we can lie on our camp beds and have a nice, virtual chat about the sunsets.

I'm imagining two camps on either side of a lake--like the boy/girl camps--with extroverts and introverts on either side. The extrovert side will be a big, round-the-clock party (I have this wonderful image of Wendy dancing in a tutu on a table). The introverts will be taking their meals in their tents and dodging behind trees to avoid small talk.

Crabby Lioness
02-14-2013, 11:49 AM
Introvert. But also an Epicurian, so I'm trying to moderate it.

It's not simply a matter of the amount of social interaction but the type. Most introverts I know can talk for hours among the right people and under the right circumstances.

JinxieFox
02-14-2013, 12:26 PM
PAAAAHHHH-TAY!

I'll talk to pretty much anyone and everyone, and find a way to draw them out whenever possible. It's my thing. If I meet someone who doesn't seem very sociable, I do my best to put them at ease by finding the right kind of interaction for them. :)

Paula
02-14-2013, 12:40 PM
PAAAAHHHH-TAY!

I'll talk to pretty much anyone and everyone, and find a way to draw them out whenever possible. It's my thing. If I meet someone who doesn't seem very sociable, I do my best to put them at ease by finding the right kind of interaction for them. :)

I love people like you who can deflect any social attention AWAY from me. I'm glad to be the listener or audience to a fun extrovert. :)

Mslksdh
02-14-2013, 07:59 PM
Former extrovert turned introvert after the death of our best friend 3 years ago. Slowly trying to regain my extrovert status. So for now, I am in the introvert camp looking longingly across the lake at the extrovert camp.

Stella M
02-14-2013, 11:23 PM
I'm sorry for your experience :(

murphs_mom
02-15-2013, 12:29 AM
Both DH and I are total introverts BUT DD is a full extrovert. We are the perfect example of the algebra rule "two negatives yield a positive". :-)

As an example of just how far out there DD is, at the end of her ballet recital last spring, they paraded all the dancers onto the stage at the end. There were maybe 150 dancers on the stage, and DD had come out with her group maybe 1/2 way through the parade. She quickly vanished behind the sea of tutus and sequined stretch pants. The tail end of the group was in sight and the music was nearing its end when suddenly the dancers mid-stage began to part; it looked like Moses parting the Red Sea. This tiny figure in an obnoxiously sparkly tutu shot through the group of older girls, and she was (gratefully) quickly followed by a much older dancer who grabbed her just before she zipped off the edge of the stage and in to the orchestra pit. My first thought was "WTH?", and it was followed by a verbal, "Oh, crap." Yep, that was my child who charged her way past all the other dancers so she could be front and center, taking bow after bow. I was mortified. Later, after we went backstage to pick her up, I asked, "Dee, why did you push to the front? Do you realize you almost fell off the stage?" Her answer was a matter-of-fact, "I wanted everyone to see me." Honey Boo Boo, eat your heart out. My husband and I both wanted to crawl under our seats. She mystifies us.

KittyP
02-15-2013, 02:04 AM
I'm an introvert and even better I have some serious anxiety issues and BP, but inside I'm an extrovert who just wants to break out. Once I know a person the floodgates open and I'm a chatty Cathy with all the bells and whistles. The internet has been a huge help for me in opening up. Having A has also helped. I want him to explore and enjoy life, not be held back by my issues.

Starkspack
02-15-2013, 07:29 AM
I'm imagining two camps on either side of a lake--like the boy/girl camps--with extroverts and introverts on either side. The extrovert side will be a big, round-the-clock party (I have this wonderful image of Wendy dancing in a tutu on a table). The introverts will be taking their meals in their tents and dodging behind trees to avoid small talk.

Judging by the poll results, though, Wendy will be partying all by herself on her side of the lake, while the rest of us will be fighting over space for our individual tents on our side of the lake. :_p:

Mum
02-15-2013, 09:25 AM
Major Extrovert extending my hand to Wendy. Don't wait up for us. :cool:

Batgirl
02-15-2013, 01:25 PM
See, I'd probably be on the extroverts side. One, because it wouldn't be a big group. Two, when I am around Extroverts I have things in common with, and who respect my need to be silent on occasion, I usually have a great time. They carry the conversational ball, come up with ideas for things to do and don't care if I talk that much or not, especially if I'm listening to them. It's a relief. Sometimes it's really hard work to get other Introverts to open up enough to get to know them--this is when I'm motivated and trying to find friends or good acquaintances. Extroverts draw other people out so easily that they do that work for me too.

In fact, that has been one of my biggest complaints about hs "socialization" so far. It has been so hard to get to know other hsers because people are so hesitant to open up. (Of course, this could also have to do with "Seattle Freeze" or whatever it's called.) I mean, how else do you find out if you have enough in common with someone to even pursue a friendship unless you are willing to make some small talk at first?

RTB
02-15-2013, 02:04 PM
Generally I am an introvert. I absolutely hate crowds, dread parties, and don't care for casual conversation. That said, I find calm activities with close friends feed my soul as much as my couch and a good book, if not more.

crunchynerd
02-16-2013, 07:54 AM
See how the astonishing majority of us are self-identified introverts? I am ready to call bull$#!+ on Myers-Briggs, after reading up on it. Here's what the skeptic's dictionary had on it Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - The Skeptic's Dictionary - Skepdic.com (http://www.skepdic.com/myersb.html) and it apparently "works" because of the well-known Forer Effect, just like tarot and astrology.

Pawz4me
02-16-2013, 08:12 AM
I don't need the Myers-Briggs test (or anything else, other than the basic definitions of introvert and extrovert) to know I'm a strong introvert.

Petina75
02-16-2013, 09:19 AM
I am what you would call an HSP or highly sensitive person and definitely introverted. I prefer one or two deep meaningful relationships and the older I get the less tolerant I am of social gatherings even with my immediate family. I can only handle a couple of hours and then I have to escape. Places like Chuck-E-Cheese or the roller rink literally make me nauseous so my extroverted husband will usually help me out and take the kids. Homeschooling has forced me to be more social than I'd prefer and I've met some great people because of it! I used to think there was something wrong with me but now understand that it's just my sensitivities that need nurturing and I am learning how to do that.

skrink
02-16-2013, 04:42 PM
I am what you would call an HSP or highly sensitive person and definitely introverted. I prefer one or two deep meaningful relationships and the older I get the less tolerant I am of social gatherings even with my immediate family. I can only handle a couple of hours and then I have to escape. Places like Chuck-E-Cheese or the roller rink literally make me nauseous so my extroverted husband will usually help me out and take the kids. Homeschooling has forced me to be more social than I'd prefer and I've met some great people because of it! I used to think there was something wrong with me but now understand that it's just my sensitivities that need nurturing and I am learning how to do that.

I could have written this whole post! :) For years I thought there was some sort of basic something missing in me. Quiet was mentioned up thread; going to have to reread that one. Anyway, yes, homeschooling has forced me to push my boundaries, too. Most of the time that's been a good thing. :P

Magnolia School
02-16-2013, 07:51 PM
How interesting that there are so many introverts here!
I guess I would say I am much like the person that posted that they liked to have a good conversation and can handle all kinds of social situations but also need quiet time to recharge. I prefer having alone time as well, but that rarely happens these days.:) This online conversation has me thinking about a funny video that went around recently. I think the "introvert" wold be the "Cat".:) Let's see if I can attach the link:
Cat-Friend vs Dog-Friend - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbycvPwr1Wg)

... I just remembered there is some crudeness in this video. I TOTALLY don't mean that introverts (myself included) would be THAT way. I was just laughing about the way the cat guy sneaks around and thinking I could totally see myself being that way in my worst moments.

Batgirl
02-16-2013, 08:06 PM
See how the astonishing majority of us are self-identified introverts? I am ready to call bull$#!+ on Myers-Briggs, after reading up on it. Here's what the skeptic's dictionary had on it Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - The Skeptic's Dictionary - Skepdic.com (http://www.skepdic.com/myersb.html) and it apparently "works" because of the well-known Forer Effect, just like tarot and astrology.

But we in this group are hardly representative of the population at large. And there's been lots of research done on introversion and extroversion outside of Myers-Briggs, such as that described in the books Quiet and the Introvert Advantage.

I also think the author jumped to a lot of conclusions in that article.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

TriciaJ
02-16-2013, 08:51 PM
I remembered something that happened this past summer that was in my mind hell (for an introvert)....

A good friend was getting married and having the whole thing at her house. It was mostly family with only a handful of friends invited. I only had one mutual friend who was invited....that couldn't go! So I had to go to this wedding by myself (couldn't think of anyone to come with me, should have begged another friend). She had her 'friends' all seated at the same table. Well let me tell you I stuck out like a sore thumb sitting at the bodybuilder's table (my friend is a fitness junkie), nor was I blonde and plastered in makeup. None of these people would even look at me! I tried to make eye contact to say hello (which was hard enough) but they all faced towards each other and ignored me like the plague. I just sat there and eventually pulled out the cellphone (and became one of 'those' people, which normally I am not) texting people the misery I was in. I managed to eat the dinner and told my friend I had to go, I couldn't take one more minute. I hope I never see any of those people again.

Stella M
02-16-2013, 08:56 PM
I have to admit to not understanding what the article was trying to say.

And I'm not sure how the critique of MB applies to introversion/extroversion. Or extraversion if we want to get all fancy :)

TriciaJ
02-16-2013, 08:57 PM
I am what you would call an HSP or highly sensitive person and definitely introverted. I prefer one or two deep meaningful relationships and the older I get the less tolerant I am of social gatherings even with my immediate family. I can only handle a couple of hours and then I have to escape. Places like Chuck-E-Cheese or the roller rink literally make me nauseous so my extroverted husband will usually help me out and take the kids. Homeschooling has forced me to be more social than I'd prefer and I've met some great people because of it! I used to think there was something wrong with me but now understand that it's just my sensitivities that need nurturing and I am learning how to do that.

Maybe its not 'just you'. Maybe you get nervous or nauseous because of the energies you feel? Maybe....you are an empath? Someone who picks up the feelings of others and feels the energies themselves. I am like this at times and sometimes the only option is for me to leave. There are lots of places where I simply can't stand the energy, and other places I'm drawn to. I notice if I'm not in the best mood I seem to attract bad energies to me, but if I'm in a good mood these negative scenarios just don't happen.

Stella M
02-16-2013, 08:59 PM
That's just like Charmed!

My dd13 reckons she's an empath. I am pretty sure she isn't :)

TriciaJ
02-16-2013, 09:13 PM
That's just like Charmed!

My dd13 reckons she's an empath. I am pretty sure she isn't :)

Hmmm...13, nice and hormonal. Maybe you'd better play along:}

jazz
02-17-2013, 12:42 AM
Introvert, along with DH and definitively DD... A year ago I might have said DS was extrovert, and he still might be, starting up conversations with waiters, random people... But then I was realizing that he does that on occasion, but probably twice as often, he's shy toward strangers and loquacious with family or people he feels we "already know" like the waiter who started chatting to DS' uncle, and then DS chimed in and talked the waiter's ear off.

Oh, and people have told me they are surprised to hear that I'm an introvert because I run a bunch of groups that no one else would run that really needed to be run, and have a big mouth when I feel it's needed... but then I have to go home and collapse for 24 hours because I'm emotionally exhausted. I've always been this way.

The very extroverted people I know frighten me. Always something else to do that involves lots of people. "No one is coming over for [gasp] an entire DAY? I'll invite all these people you've never met so you won't be BORED!" And I'm thinking, "I'm pretty happy vacantly flipping through this magazine and then getting in a bubble bath."

Stella, aren't all 13 year olds empaths? But tuned in to their peer group specifically?

crunchynerd
02-17-2013, 07:48 AM
That's just like Charmed!

My dd13 reckons she's an empath. I am pretty sure she isn't :)
Well, humans are by nature empathetic, or are supposed to be, but if she feels she has a particular talent for it, that's really wonderful! Maybe she'll be extra understanding of how her mother feels? ;)

crunchynerd
02-17-2013, 07:59 AM
But we in this group are hardly representative of the population at large. And there's been lots of research done on introversion and extroversion outside of Myers-Briggs, such as that described in the books Quiet and the Introvert Advantage.

I also think the author jumped to a lot of conclusions in that article.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
True that Myers-briggs didn't invent the terms intr[a/o]vert and extrovert. Those are from Jung, along with the idea of archetypes, but like Freud, have been largely discredited. Doesn't make them wrong, just on the basis of being discredited, necessarily, either (to keep an open mind). And it is worth pointing out that homeschooling mothers are a particular segment of society because they are homeschooling, but are we homeschooling because of being introverts for the most part? And if we gave a similar poll on a forum that is just society at large, would we see self-described extroverts being similarly rare?

IT would be interesting to find out.

So, what conclusions did you think the author jumped to, out of curiosity?

Batgirl
02-17-2013, 12:13 PM
I don't think that the people who responded to this poll are representative of even homeschoolers at large. We're secular and/or accidental hsers, and thus make up maybe 20% of all hsers out there. We're a fringe group within a fringe group and we are self-selected. That's important. Also that of the thousands of the people in this group, comparatively few participate in the polls--a fringe group within a fringe group within a fringe group. Self-selected again. On the Internet you can hang out with anyone you want to an extent that is impossible irl. Another factor to consider: People who are getting lots of social time with other people may be less likely to spend time writing in-depth responses on online forums. I do think that hsing favors introverts but I think that more extroverts homeschool than are represented here.

When you say that introversion and extroversion have been discredited, I guess I want to ask, discredited by whom and in what way? Because when I read in books like Quiet about some of the research that has been done on physiological differences between the two types---stuff like blood flow to different parts of the brain and autonomic nervous system responses, with citations, I'm inclined to believe that there is something to it.

I get the strong impression from the Skeptics article that the author started out with a conclusion he then gathered evidence to support. It did not strike me as being particularly in-depth or thoughtful and he qualifies his main point heavily in response to the first complaint he gets. The Forer effect would arguably come into play if all of the Myers-Briggs descriptions were sufficiently vague to apply to anyone. In a comment at the end of the article, when someone states that the Myers-Briggs types are not interchangeable, he backpedals and says that only portions of the types are vague enough to be interchangeable. Well, which is it? Either they are vague enough for the Forer effect to apply or they aren't. I don't think that was sufficiently explained in that article, hence, the jumping to conclusions.

Jeni
02-19-2013, 10:42 AM
Totally fascinating thread! I missed this and just finished reading all seven pages. I am an introvert. I can go weeks without interacting with anyone but my own family and one close friend and be perfectly happy. I don't like people. I Hate small talk, I don't know how to do it well. I can fake being less introverted but like others have said, it's draining. Yesterday I came home to my pit of a house and almost cried with relief after having to be social for seven hours for the sake of my kids. And while I feel guilty for not being able to afford the classes next year, I am not going to miss the interaction.

I've thought of homeschooling as a haven for introverts for a long time. It's not just people here, I think a lot of IRL homeschoolers are introverts as well.

I know one extreme extrovert, my sister. She's the total opposite of my me and my mom that it causes a significant amount of strain in our relationship.

Petina75
02-22-2013, 04:38 PM
Yes I definitely pick up on others energies and depending on my own mood I will either run or stick it out, nauseated and all lol.

Gummers
02-23-2013, 02:39 AM
I'm an introvert because I find hanging out with people exhausting. But I really love getting out there, going for drinks, meeting for coffees and having play dates. I love our homeschool association's ladies night out, and I enjoy meeting new people. I take every opportunity to go out and I'm pretty much guaranteed to say yes to an invitation. But it sucks the life out of me and I feel drained with the effort of being social and tolerating other people's children, of biting my tongue and not being loud and wondering if I'm talking about myself or something uninteresting for too long.