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paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 10:16 AM
So this question is inspired by some talk over on the "Homeschoolers are Night Owls" thread. The discussion turned towards the ease of shopping and vacations taken in the off season. I have to say it's one perk I can't wait to abuse lol. Anywho this brought on the curiosity if any of you get "the look" during the public school calendar year if you have your kids out at a grocery store or at the book store or something.

Right now with summer I don't worry about it but I can see me being a nervous nelly about taking my kids out during the day in the fall and spring. I live in a homeschool friendly area so I am being silly but I do wonder if anyone has had this situation pop up and how they handled it.

So have you? And if so, what did you do?

Shoe
06-28-2010, 10:21 AM
So have you? And if so, what did you do? I've had a couple of shopkeepers ask Matt if he's sick or what school he attends (and is it in a different state) when we've been at stores during regular school hours. Why it is their business I don't know, but I simply answer that he is homeschooled and that usually shuts them up-I guess they're not really that interested. His doctor was the only one to go on and ask further questions (primarily about socialization).

camaro
06-28-2010, 10:39 AM
I don't think we've ever gotten "the look". Perhaps people just think the boy(s) had an appointment of some kind. Occasionally they ask what grade they're in or say "No school today?" When I mention homeschooling some shut up or one of the boys will say something we did. I took my mom to an appointment at a hospital and the nurse ask the desk asked what grade they were in so I mentioned that they were homeschooled. She asked what they were doing in homeschool so Mitchell told her about the ecosystem in a jar we were watching. She seemed fine with the idea.

Topsy
06-28-2010, 10:39 AM
Our county has a few schools with year-round schooling options which I don't think anyone can really keep up with the schedule for, so we get "the look" less and less these days. When they were younger we got it all the time. When actually asked, I have been SO tempted to say that we were trying for the truancy record for our county!! ;)

Snoopy
06-28-2010, 11:05 AM
Same here, we have so many tourists coming with their kids all the time that it doesn't phase anyone. Sometimes a cashier will ask "No school today?" but it's just something for them to say to chitchat, I just say that we homeschool and they don't have much to say after that. Most of the time I don't really make eye contact with people anyway, I'm too busy following my schedule in my head so they could be shooting me dirty looks all they want and I wouldn't notice.

Marmalade
06-28-2010, 11:12 AM
I don't think I've ever received "the look"-one time a shop keeper asked my youngest daughter if she was off of school for the day and she just said "Yes"....but I guess to her she really was-because it was her birthday and she didn't have to do school work!

I once got really paranoid that I had accidentally gave someone else the look! I had to run out to Target around noon and I was in the aisle next to a mom and her children (All clearly over five) and I glanced at my watch after glancing at them...and being a paranoid homeschooling mom I totally thought she was thinking that I was checking the time because her children clearly should have been in school.

StartingOver
06-28-2010, 11:16 AM
I have received the look a few times, and been questioned a few times. My teens had more of it, I just made them ID's with our schools name, their names, my name and cell, and picture on it. They were stopped by a truancy officer once in the mall, the ID did the trick. Other than that they were asked a few times, usually just saying that they homeschool was enough.

Texas is hot !!! We let the kids play in the morning, and school in the afternoon, then they are out again after it cools off. So all my children were often out and about from 8 am till 11 am.
Which isn't even noticed at their age now, but will be soon LOL.

wild_destiny
06-28-2010, 11:39 AM
Ugh!! The look!! We have gotten the look a few times for being out and about during school hours. But most of the time, no one has said anything. Once, though, a cashier at Wal Mart made some very pointed remarks about us being out during school hours and how I must have had to do something very important to have kept my children home from school and taken them to the store (this said with much pointed sarcasm). I felt like I was being attacked and it really got on my nerves. My boys looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, which made me feel like some huge failure that I had exposed them to this woman's one-sided ridicule. I wish I could tell you that I had a great comeback and really put her in her place. Unfortunately, I didn't. All I managed to do was to tell her as calmly as I could (even though my heart was pounding, because I was so angry) that we home school and take breaks that allow us to do our shopping when the store is less busy. To be fair, this did change her attitude, and she was much nicer after that. (But I was still ready to shoot laser beams from my eyes to fry her!)
I wish I had thought of the bit that Topsy suggested, about trying for the truancy of the year award. That would have told her!! :)

paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 01:26 PM
ROFL I love that truancy bit! It's good to see that it's not as common to get "the look". At least it's becoming more mainstream. Now if we could just get ABC to do a real story on homeschooling instead of that slanted crap they did a few months back.

Snoopy
06-28-2010, 01:30 PM
Now if we could just get ABC to do a real story on homeschooling instead of that slanted crap they did a few months back. *Snort* well, good luck with THAT. No matter what you do, do NOT volunteer for any of this "explaining homeschool in a fair and balanced view" crap but it NEVER is and we always end up looking like loons.

hockeymom
06-28-2010, 01:47 PM
I don't think I've gotten "the look" yet, although usually people will inquire when we are out (before summer break, which just started on Friday here). Homeschooling is virtually unheard of here so it usually quiets them up right away, or they mumble something having known someone at some point who homeschooled their kids, or how lucky DS is. Nothing negative yet, thank goodness. It did take me awhile to get over the feeling that we might be under the microscope though, but it's getting easier. I like it when DS hears he's lucky--I hope that sinks in!

I had a very uncomfortable conversation with my cousin's wife about the "unschooling" feature on ABC, just a month after we took DS out of school. I tried to explain how the segment didn't homeschooling or unschooling justice, that it was a warped and very unusual case, but some people will believe whatever is on TV instead of what an actual person says. We've been fortunate to have such supportive families, so I didn't let it bother me too much. I think she was just curious and could clearly see that we don't fit the same mold.

pandahoneybee
06-28-2010, 02:27 PM
We don't get the look but we get the "oh" its always an older lady or another mom who had a kid in one of the boys class in PS. they always say oh, guess that the public school don't teach other words to say, LOL. I also get well I am just not the patient speech. It never fails one or the other!

paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 03:05 PM
*Snort* well, good luck with THAT. No matter what you do, do NOT volunteer for any of this "explaining homeschool in a fair and balanced view" crap but it NEVER is and we always end up looking like loons.

I was going to do a Wife Swap with a Christian family because I am pretty secure with myself and at the same time I got one hell of a temper and hubs thought it would be awesome for ratings. However, upon really thinking it over I decided not to. The whole thing was they wanted the drama of people who are different and I didn't feel that it would be worth my time. Remember the crazy god lady? Yea I do not have to subject myself to looking crazy like that just because others may not agree with my spiritual life. It's really sad that people are going to base their opinions on the media. Pisses me off even more when people in the media swear up and down that they are fair and balanced.

belacqua
06-28-2010, 03:09 PM
I've always liked this list of responses to, "No school today?"

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/06/14/best-replies-to-what-no-school-today/

Sarbare0704
06-28-2010, 03:11 PM
I was going to do a Wife Swap with a Christian family because I am pretty secure with myself and at the same time I got one hell of a temper and hubs thought it would be awesome for ratings. However, upon really thinking it over I decided not to. The whole thing was they wanted the drama of people who are different and I didn't feel that it would be worth my time. Remember the crazy god lady? Yea I do not have to subject myself to looking crazy like that just because others may not agree with my spiritual life. It's really sad that people are going to base their opinions on the media. Pisses me off even more when people in the media swear up and down that they are fair and balanced.

"Slagkicks!" "Gargyles" LMAO! I will never forget that lady! I don't even watch that show!

elkhollow
06-28-2010, 04:41 PM
Oddly enough I haven't had any trouble or looks from strangers but I've had it out with people we know. A couple of years ago I had a very heated "discussion" about it with one of my neighbors who was a very staunch believer in the public school system. I got the typical socialization argument and nothng I said made a dent in his brain. I described the kind of behavior I saw in the halls, how many fights I had to break up, the gang activiy, the total lack of respect or regard for other people that I witnessed, how many times I actually feared for my life. I told him about a sixth grade girl caught having sex in the bathroom with a seventh grade boy, and all the things that I personally knew of, not just heresay. (This happened in typical suburban America, btw, not some tough urban school). I told him I would rather not have my child socialized in that particular way thankyouverymuch, but it didn't convince him. I figured once his son was old enough to start school he'd figure it out. I found out later from my sil about the kinds of things that go on even in kindergarten and first grade public schools. She caught one boy performing felatio on another in the bathroom. They were 6 years old. She said a kindergarten girl was molested by one of the boys in her class and it messed her up for years. The stories are numerous and repulsive. (I did not attend a public school and when I started teaching in one nothing prepared me for the shock of that experience. I resigned after three years.)

Whenever a homeschooler enrolls at sil's elementary school the teachers are less than thrilled because they usually don't "benchmark." It's a sad fact that in that area, which is rural and economically depressed, homeschoolers (at least the ones who end up enrolling their kids) aren't doing a very good job. Most of the time the kids are not at grade level and the teachers don't like having the school's scores brought down. This has understandably given those teachers a very negative impression of homeschooling in general, based on what is happening locally. It's sad that a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch and those of us, the majority of us, who spend a great deal of time, effort, and expense giving our kids a great education suffer because of those few who don't.

hjdong
06-28-2010, 05:09 PM
I'm so oblivious. I would never notice.

paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 05:49 PM
"Slagkicks!" "Gargyles" LMAO! I will never forget that lady! I don't even watch that show!

LOL she was a hoot. Did you hear about her eldest daughter? She passed away I think in a car accident like a year after the show aired. Really sad because everyone remembers her blaming her daughter on national tv for the family not praying for her while she was gone. Or something like that. It just made me really pity the family.

Sarbare0704
06-28-2010, 05:51 PM
LOL she was a hoot. Did you hear about her eldest daughter? She passed away I think in a car accident like a year after the show aired. Really sad because everyone remembers her blaming her daughter on national tv for the family not praying for her while she was gone. Or something like that. It just made me really pity the family.

wow no I never heard about that! that is very sad!

Melissa541
06-28-2010, 06:49 PM
Oh man, I was literally LOLing at the list of things not to say to that question (me 'n Bubba jess learns 'em is my favorite!), 'till I read about the Wife Swap woman's daughter. So sad! She had a daughter, herself, if I remember correctly.

I've gotten plenty of the "no school today?" questions. My girl is so talkative, I just let her at them. She LOVES talking to cashiers and will. not. stop. until I pull her away. So I let her go for awhile and they probably regret asking that question. :)

mommykicksbutt
06-28-2010, 07:30 PM
Oh, yeah, we've gotten "the look", on many occasions. If we tell them we homeschool then we get the "cocked eyebrow" too which will be accompanied by either a smile (very rarely) or a snarl (mostly). People automatically judge you and make assumptions when you are out in public during the school hours during the public school year, then they make even more false assumptions when you inform them you are homeschooling. One time, after I told the old fart that we homeschool, he started quizzing my son! Geography terms or some crap. Sonny didn't bite, (DS was 10 and has an IQ of over 155...) sonny didn't answer but rater asked the old fart what kind of car he drives. The old man told him, sonny then started telling him the size of the engine, horsepower, torque, weight distribution and ratio, how much it weights, known recalls, etc, and that basically his car was a pile of crap. At this point I grabbed sonny and we left the man standing there with his mouth gaping open. But over the last couple of years I've developed a reply which is 1000% accurate, "We homeschool not for mythological or superstitious rationales but rather for the sheer academic gain that a home education offers for the profoundly intellectually gifted student which your local school system is so woefully inadequate to provide." This usually results in a STFU.

belacqua
06-28-2010, 07:58 PM
Oh, yeah, we've gotten "the look", on many occasions. If we tell them we homeschool then we get the "cocked eyebrow" too which will be accompanied by either a smile (very rarely) or a snarl (mostly). People automatically judge you and make assumptions when you are out in public during the school hours during the public school year, then they make even more false assumptions when you inform them you are homeschooling. One time, after I told the old fart that we homeschool, he started quizzing my son! Geography terms or some crap. Sonny didn't bite, (DS was 10 and has an IQ of over 155...) sonny didn't answer but rater asked the old fart what kind of car he drives. The old man told him, sonny then started telling him the size of the engine, horsepower, torque, weight distribution and ratio, how much it weights, known recalls, etc, and that basically his car was a pile of crap. At this point I grabbed sonny and we left the man standing there with his mouth gaping open. But over the last couple of years I've developed a reply which is 1000% accurate, "We homeschool not for mythological or superstitious rationales but rather for the sheer academic gain that a home education offers for the profoundly intellectually gifted student which your local school system is so woefully inadequate to provide." This usually results in a STFU.

That's all sorts of awesome. Unfortunately, I'm not nearly intellectually gifted enough to be able to remember it when I need it!

StartingOver
06-28-2010, 08:48 PM
That's all sorts of awesome. Unfortunately, I'm not nearly intellectually gifted enough to be able to remember it when I need it!

I get tongue tied just reading it !! I usually tell them that we homeschool and walk off. I don't mind debating the merits of homeschooling, but I usually don't have time to educate the ignorant.

paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 10:46 PM
Oh man, I was literally LOLing at the list of things not to say to that question (me 'n Bubba jess learns 'em is my favorite!), 'till I read about the Wife Swap woman's daughter. So sad! She had a daughter, herself, if I remember correctly.

I've gotten plenty of the "no school today?" questions. My girl is so talkative, I just let her at them. She LOVES talking to cashiers and will. not. stop. until I pull her away. So I let her go for awhile and they probably regret asking that question. :)

HAHAHAHA I have that same kind of daughter too! I will have to remember that if the issue ever pops up.

paganmomblog
06-28-2010, 10:47 PM
. The old man told him, sonny then started telling him the size of the engine, horsepower, torque, weight distribution and ratio, how much it weights, known recalls, etc, and that basically his car was a pile of crap. At this point I grabbed sonny and we left the man standing there with his mouth gaping open. .

Oh that is all sorts of awesomeness right there.

schwartzkari
06-29-2010, 12:06 AM
Why is it always the cashiers that give you the look and ask the dumb questions? LOL.

I was at the farmers market with my daughter and son and the cashier looked at my daughter and then looked at me and said "Oh, I bet you can't wait until she goes to school huh? She's probably a handful." I said "We homeschool." And that ended the conversation right there.

I bought a tshirt a couple months ago, it says "Hardcore Homeschool Mom" on it. oh wow, the reactions on people's faces are so awesome. :)

Melyssa
06-29-2010, 03:17 AM
Once in awhile a clerk will ask if school is out today or something, but my daughter is happy to pipe up with, "I'm homeschooled, we're done for the day!". LOL Or some such similar comment. Most times after that there are no further comments either way. Anyway, I'm not one that is easily intimidated or bothered by looks or any comments anyway so it makes no difference to me. LOL Bring it on!

SunshineKris
06-29-2010, 04:06 AM
I am prepared for the questions once they start. So far, just due to traveling at non-traditional times, I've had a few "issues." First was last year driving down I-95 and stopping at a DQ for the kids in SC. Once I explained we were an Air Force family taking leave the lady was okay and proceeded to talk about her time as a military wife and their travels. Last month I just said we were homeschooling (though we weren't just yet). It happened once by an older guy in SuperTarget. Then we just continued on our shopping trip. It was also late May in FL and school was nearly out, so seeing kids in the store, or anywhere for that matter, wasn't too big a deal. Really, I don't care what they say. I know we are doing what's right for our family and I will defend us no matter what.

mommykicksbutt
06-29-2010, 08:30 AM
I bought a tshirt a couple months ago, it says "Hardcore Homeschool Mom" on it. oh wow, the reactions on people's faces are so awesome. :)

Cute! I like it. I found a web site that has a t-shirt that I think I'm going to make... "Homeschool Mom. So what's your super power?"

mommykicksbutt
06-29-2010, 08:33 AM
Oh that is all sorts of awesomeness right there.

Yeah, it was pretty darn cool! Sonny was really into cars then. He'd read Car & Driver like it was Dr. Seuss. Sonny has an uncanny ability to remember numbers even though he's not that great at math.

Melissa541
06-29-2010, 12:37 PM
I bought a tshirt a couple months ago, it says "Hardcore Homeschool Mom" on it. oh wow, the reactions on people's faces are so awesome. :)

I want one!

Bellanina
06-29-2010, 09:14 PM
When we first started homeschooling last fall, and were out & about with the boys during the typical school day hours (9-3) I cringed when someone gave me "the look". Now, I might see a parent with their possibly-school-aged children, shopping during school hours, and I automatically think "I wonder if they homeschool?"!

schwartzkari
06-29-2010, 11:45 PM
I want one!

Here it is :)
http://www.cafepress.com.au/+hard_core_mom_womens_vneck_tshirt,133607125

reversemigration
06-30-2010, 10:22 AM
Honestly, I think being a SAHD has already prepared me for "the look." I've already had to deal with enough condescending and patronizing comments.

inmom
06-30-2010, 11:06 AM
If we get "the look" I don't notice anymore. My daughter, if asked why she's not in school, has two stock answers:

I was expelled for being too smart.

My mom JUST let me out of the basement today!! I'm so lucky!

paganmomblog
06-30-2010, 02:47 PM
Honestly, I think being a SAHD has already prepared me for "the look." I've already had to deal with enough condescending and patronizing comments.

THAT bothers me moreso than just "the look". It's 2010, when are we going to quit worrying about what life people choose for themselves?

paganmomblog
06-30-2010, 02:48 PM
If we get "the look" I don't notice anymore. My daughter, if asked why she's not in school, has two stock answers:

I was expelled for being too smart.

My mom JUST let me out of the basement today!! I'm so lucky!

LOL i love her sense of humor!

Riceball_Mommy
07-02-2010, 12:35 PM
That is a cute shirt and Carol I love your daughter's responses.

Jadzia66
07-08-2010, 03:54 PM
*Snort* well, good luck with THAT. No matter what you do, do NOT volunteer for any of this "explaining homeschool in a fair and balanced view" crap but it NEVER is and we always end up looking like loons.

Nothing wrong with being a loon...LOL! I would hate to be described as being normal...shudder!! We've gotten the look as well but Courtney always pipes up proud as can be and says "I'm homeschooled!" whenever anyone asks why she isn't in school. I recently brought her to her doctor to have her ear looked at (she was complaining it was hurting). Her regular pediatrician was away (he knows the whole entire story) so we saw the other pediatirican in the practice, who is just a wonderful older doctor. It was the first time we saw him and he asked Courtney what grade she was in. She answered "I'm homeschooled because a situation arose at school". He looked at me and said "She speaks very well for her age... good job Mom!". I think that was the proudest homeschooling moment I've had so far!