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Stella M
10-09-2012, 10:43 PM
Dd 13 decided to quit school today. I feel relieved. It's been a long year.

So I'm back to homeschooling three.

ginnyjf
10-09-2012, 11:25 PM
Hugs to you. I know you've been through the wringer on this one. You're a good mum.

Stella M
10-10-2012, 02:47 AM
Thanks Ginny. We're trying to keep the focus on 'well, that was an experience!' rather than 'it didn't work out.'

From a selfish point of view I'm rather relieved not to be dealing with a school anymore. But on the other hand, I'm not entirely sure we're doing the right thing by her.

JinxieFox
10-10-2012, 05:59 AM
That's a positive way to view it, and I think a good way to go.

And sometimes if things don't work out (school, jobs, relationships - anything in life), it still is a learning experience. She can look at it as something that helped her figure out what she wanted/needed at this point in her life. :)

farrarwilliams
10-10-2012, 08:35 AM
Hooray! Even if it's not the "right" thing, I can't imagine it's the wrong thing, if that makes any sense.

Will she come right home or wait for the end of the school year (which I presume is soonish for you)?

dbmamaz
10-10-2012, 09:24 AM
I think thats great! and yes, i'm sure she learned a lot, and hopefully she has a better idea of what she wants now?

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
10-10-2012, 10:33 AM
Phew, I'm glad she finally made the decision, one way or another. Hopefully the transition back to "homeschool kid" will go smoothly.

kcprevatte
10-10-2012, 10:37 AM
I'm so impressed that she even had a choice. Something I'm learning, rapidly, from all this immersion in the "world of homeschool" (even though we aren't doing it yet), is that children are empowered to choose and even make mistakes. It's such a phenomenal difference from the no-choice, one-way-forward model of traditional school.

Avalon
10-10-2012, 10:40 AM
With so many life choices, it's not really a matter of "right" or "wrong." Some choices are clearly wrong, but most of the decisions we make simply have different results. Should I have gone to a different high school? Majored in French instead of political science? Travelled instead of working? Worked part-time instead of quitting my job? Waited longer to have kids? Whatever.

It brings to mind Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."

hockeymom
10-10-2012, 02:16 PM
Avalon summed it up perfectly. There's no sense in worrying too much about it; you gave her the option of testing her wings and she took the opportunity. That she decided to return home is merely exercising her right to do so, and shows a great strength of character it seems to me. Knowing what's "best" isn't easy for anyone, never mind at 13.

I hope the summer will be useful for deschooling--again! :)

Stella M
10-10-2012, 03:21 PM
Actually, I'm really nervous about home schooling her again. We're into the flow with the other two, and I'm a bit scared of not being able to get to that point with dd13.

Also really guilty that I couldn't make the school thing work for her.

Huh. Maybe school has messed with my head!

Oh, and she's home now. Idk. I just feel bad for her that her big dream didn't work.

dbmamaz
10-10-2012, 07:32 PM
Idk. I just feel bad for her that her big dream didn't work.
Its just her first 'big' dream . . she's young and she'll have plenty of others!

Stella M
10-11-2012, 04:10 PM
Yeah, I know. And it really was her call.

I enrolled her in a teen writing group run by a friend of dh, so I feel a bit better that she's got something to be moving on with.

Sort of. I think I'm waiting for the criticism that's gonna come at some point. Sigh. At least our hs friends who thought we were nuts to let her go in the first place will approve of her coming home.

I don't know why I care what people think. I didn't before.

farrarwilliams
10-11-2012, 09:18 PM
Gosh I hate when outside perceptions interfere with what you need to do. I feel like I'm overall better at ignoring them than most people and I'm quite oblivious to it sometimes, but occasionally... oh, and how it can trip things up.

Stella M
10-12-2012, 04:24 PM
Yes. And it's so stupid! Like yesterday, I was all happy for dd15 and ds 8 that they have flexibility in their day that lets them spend time with their little cousin, but feeling guilty that dd13 was 'just' spending time with family.

I think even short exposure to school messes with parental confidence, well, for me anyway.

Pefa
10-12-2012, 04:37 PM
Like the others have said, this was totally a learning experience. Maybe while it's fresh in her head she can write about what worked about school, what didn't, what made her decide it wasn't the right place for her right now. Just so you have that snapshot before memory blurs the edges.

You're doing fine. You've got good kids, they've got a good mom (I assume a good dad too but we don't hear much about him), it will all work out.