View Full Version : My Kid Has Enrolled in Space Cadet Academy

07-11-2012, 01:19 PM
OK parents of tweens and teens - tell me I'm not alone. DD has just turned 11, and has become the biggest airhead lately! I have to repeat myself constantly, she forgets things 20 seconds after she has been told them, and is generally empty-headed all the time. Maddening.

Is this age? Hormones? An excellent way to drive her mother to heavy drinking? Please tell me they grow out of this.

07-11-2012, 01:55 PM
During puberty their brains are being rewired and they are spacier. The hormones mostly makes them MEAN and cranky. maybe that will come next . . . you should probably start drinking now, just in case

07-11-2012, 02:06 PM
Proactive drinking. Good advice for everything, I think!

07-11-2012, 10:05 PM
yes proactive drinking because my daughter is only 8 and is spacey.

Stella M
07-12-2012, 01:49 AM
I've heard they grow out of it but we are yet to get to the other side.

I need to take a lot of me time to manage the frustration. Way more than I did when they were babies.

Babies are easy. Teenagers are freaking hard work!

You have my sympathies...

07-12-2012, 08:09 AM
One of my favorite New Yorker cartoons shows a middle age mom telling her obviously drama queen daughter "No, you just don't understand. I've been a 13yo girl, you've never been a 38 yo mother of three."

I've (mostly) enjoyed my teenagers with the mantra "my job now is helping my kids avoid disease cells and protect brain cells". I've certainly lost a few brain and liver cells along the way. Not taking the behavior personally (even when they are screaming at you) was another effective technique.

It's totally frustrating because there are times when it seems that the only difference between a teen and a toddler is that you can pick the toddler up and put her where she needs to be when she's driving you crazy.

It's almost comical how slow the processing speed becomes. Emphasis on almost.

We do all grow up.

07-12-2012, 08:56 AM
I don't think my 14 year old learned anything this past year.

Stella M
07-12-2012, 05:05 PM
Yeah, Pefa, I was just thinking that last night - the teens/preteens fool you, because they look all big and grown and capable...but really they are like toddlers in many ways.

07-12-2012, 05:30 PM
Patience is not my greatest virtue. And it was easier to be patient with a teeny little person. Not as easy when they can look you in the eye and are big enough to borrow your shoes. Sometimes it's hard to remember that they are not fully formed yet. Sigh.

07-13-2012, 11:02 AM
I am so relieved to know I am not alone!

Proactive drinking...GREAT idea.

Quick story about drinking heavily= coping technique: Yesterday I took the 3 kids (all boys 15, 11 and 11) to six flags. It was HOT. The 15 year old was moodier than usual (go figure), my 11 year old was having seizures and spacey as i have ever seen him, and my fiancees 11 year old was lying and being rude most of the day. Sounds fun, eh?

On the way home, I called my fiancee. Jokingly threatened that I was going home to drink heavily. He didn't think it was funny until I reminded him I am severely allergic to grapes and sulfites and would not end up drunk so much as not breathing. Allergies suck, and mine seem to be trying to kill me. But it was funny in a "OMG please make it stop" kind of way.

Anyone ever heard the expression "Having children is like being pecked to death by chickens" ? Yeah, that about sums it up!

07-13-2012, 11:26 AM
i would never in my wildest dream try to take 3 kids to six flags alone. no f-ing way. Well, ok, MAYBE my three, cuz they are 8, 16 and 19 . . . my older ones are pretty helpful . . but being out in the heat makes ME totally brain-dead, and the noise and crowds and nothing i can eat .. . eesh. homebody is my middle name. and maybe my first and last as well

07-13-2012, 03:25 PM
i would never in my wildest dream try to take 3 kids to six flags alone. no f-ing way. Well, ok, MAYBE my three, cuz they are 8, 16 and 19 . . . my older ones are pretty helpful . . but being out in the heat makes ME totally brain-dead, and the noise and crowds and nothing i can eat .. . eesh. homebody is my middle name. and maybe my first and last as well

Oh, same here!! We just got back from the Sea World/Disney extravaganza, and my quota for theme parks has been met for the next decade (or two). Upside? Traveling with food allergies = first time ever vacation weight loss.

The whole hormones/puberty thing scares the crap out of me. I already have always spacey and occasionally nasty. Don't tell me it gets worse!

08-27-2012, 10:57 PM
This makes me tired already. My DD spent her year of being 7 (which is over in a couple of weeks) in Space Cadet Land, and I learned a tad late, that it's because her brain was growing so fast right then, and that it's normal.
Now, to see that it's going to happen again in a few years?
Maybe from a slightly different cause, that is to say, the kind of problem that only marriage or promiscuity, or else "self-help" can deal with. Of the available options, I may just endorse "self-help" to my kids, because I can't pretend for one minute that they will enter puberty without any such urges and needs. I'd be a total hypocrite.

But I cannot say I am looking forward to that part of it.

It's a shame, really, that our kids' bodies start demanding sex, when they are still many years away from it being possible to engage in it in a way that society condones (either in marriage, or at least as adults of the consenting age who are capable of responsibly handling it and forestalling consequences such as disease and pregnancy).

I wish we could somehow put off puberty til 19, so that they are at least at "marriageable" age by then. But alas, we cannot.

08-28-2012, 12:48 AM
Yep, my almost 11 yr old DD is just like this. Not sure which is worse though-my 13 yr old son is broody and everything is "lame" these days.

08-28-2012, 03:36 AM
Oh goodness reading this is such good news. I was pretty sure I was loosing my mind!

My 9yo son is an absolute space cadet! It's like a billion simple things a day. I ask him to take his sister's backpack to her hooks in the entry way and I get there and no bag. For whatever reason he has tucked it in his closet. Or he puts his clothes in the drawers to the left of where they all go. His drawers have pictures and labels of what should be in them! I ask him to open the dishwasher to let the dishes cool and I find the clothes from the dryer on the floor and the dryer open. Everything is a one off! He was the only thing I could rely on I feel like I live in one of those fun houses that are really just annoying.

08-30-2012, 07:17 AM
Shoot, the geek in me was hoping that your child was actually going to go to space camp! lol
I guess I'm enrolled in that "Academy" as well!

Anyway...yes, hormones. Sadly. I used to teach middle school in the public system. They all go through it, and they all come out on the other end. The secret is patience (lots of it) and communication. And kindness - when she gets snippy with you, and she will, remind her that you don't treat her that way and you'd appreciate the same in return!

Enjoy the ride!