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farrarwilliams
06-20-2012, 06:49 PM
So I'm curious. A friend of mine were talking and we realized that we know a *lot* of families with all boys, a lot of families with boys and girls, but almost no families with just girls. And in general, we know a lot more boys being homeschooled than girls.

Is that actually the case? Is it just our circle of friends - after all we both have boys? And if it's true, what's up with that? My knee-jerk first thought is that it must be because the push for kids to be so darn still in the early grades and the cutting of recess - both challenges for all kids, but especially for many boys. But we would have homeschooled no matter what gender our kids are...

I've never created a poll here so I *think* I can make it multiple choice. Let's find out. Also, I guess we'll find out if anyone (other than those of us who read via "New Posts") will ever even look in this subforum.

Stella M
06-21-2012, 03:53 AM
We have boy and girls and gender didn't come into it when deciding to homeschool.

I know a lot of families with girls, including all girl families, who homeschool.

Hth!

JinxieFox
06-21-2012, 04:24 AM
We're just homeschooling my son and will probably do so through high school. For me, it's somewhat gender-related. My son has never been in public school, so I don't know how he would perform there.

If I'm having a girl, I'm more inclined to put her in public school. Granted, it's a stereotype that girls tend to be better suited to the "sit down, shut up and listen" mentality of public school... So our decision will certainly be based on more than gender when it comes to spawnlet #2.

It will depend on his or her personality, learning style, needs, etc., as well as the school itself. But odds are if it's a daughter, we'll give public school a shot, while her big brother continues to stay home.

Pefa
06-21-2012, 06:36 AM
Certainly over the years I've seen many more secular families with boys hs'ing than girls (families hs'ing for religious reasons are a different kettle of fish). This is anecdotal so I don't know that it's valid, but in my former neck of the woods, ES' original cohort (which was small only a dozen or so kids) was evenly divided by gender. By high school, there was only one girl left.

It played a role in my thinking - a smart non-athletic girl would have done ok in our school system. Smart non-athletic boys are eaten for breakfast. When your boy says he doesn't play a "standard" sport to either his peers or their parents a lot of folks look at him like he's got three heads. Particularly in BOO's case since he's built like tank and does his 100 pushups/situps stretching conditioning everyday.

hockeymom
06-21-2012, 07:01 AM
Well done on the poll, Farrar!

Gender doesn't have anything to do with it for us. It's interesting that you know mostly boys, as I think there are more girls than boys in our co-op. Both seem to be well represented, at any rate. I wouldn't be surprised if you are right about the early start age and expectations for boys, though I have to say that if I had girls, I would very much want to keep them away from the social drama that permeates public school. Ick.

Kimberlapoderosa
06-21-2012, 08:01 AM
We only have boys, but if I had girls I would homeschool them as well. Our reasons for taking our boys out of ps really had nothing to do with their gender, but more for the fact that we felt they were not learning enough. (or really much of anything).

I agree with your point about making them sit still. DS 5 tried half a year of Kindergarten and just could not handle the constant sitting. He also hated the repetition. (But Mommy, we learned patterns last week and we are doing it again!)

FWIW I know three all girl families that are homeschooling.

inmom
06-21-2012, 10:52 AM
Both of my kids were bored in ps, so gender was not a relevant deciding factor.

In hindsight, though, it's nice to know my daughter escaped most of the girlie cliques and snubbing, while my son is able to be his self-described nerdy self without having fun poked at him.

Rainefox
06-21-2012, 11:57 AM
You know, it is weird. We have more girls than boys in our family, and have therefore homeschooled more girls than boys, but it is hard to find other homeschooled girls around here for mine to hang out with. In my area it seems like there are more homeschooled boys. Maybe we just need to get out more.......

opheliag
06-21-2012, 12:03 PM
I have two boys and a girl, but gender had nothing to do with our decision to homeschool. We started because of the poor schools in our area and have continued because we love it. We know of three families that only have girls who homeschool; most of the families that we know have both boys and girls.

Accidental Homeschooler
06-21-2012, 12:56 PM
We have two girls we are hsing.

Pawz4me
06-21-2012, 01:06 PM
I voted that gender doesn't have anything to do with it. We pulled our boys out of public school because they weren't being challenged intellectually and were being used way too frequently as babysitters for kids with behavioral issues, and that was something neither of our boys was comfortable with. If we'd had girls and the situation was the same our response would've been the same.

Lou
06-21-2012, 01:34 PM
One of many reasons we pulled our SON was because he needed more 'active time' and our daughter just came along, because I wasn't going to drive to that school for her after the junk they put my son thru.

My daughter WANTS to attend school, but we are very happy with how homeschooling works, so we're torn on letting her go to public school, because we are pretty sure she just wants to go for the friends and playtime, not the work. ;)

I think gender could have something to do with it, because boys have VERY DIFFERENT needs (in my experiences with the two genders) then girls and a classroom IS NOT a good fit for many active little boys.

Dr. Raymond Moore wrote a book titled "Better Late Than Early" and in it he talks about how children are not suited for sit down classroom style learning until ages 8-10, boys closer to 10-12 years of age. So if you follow any of his homeschooling books you would read some studies that show gender differences and how homeschooling suits boys well. It is Christian, but not Christian based, so I'm guessing some of his homeschooling books may be overlooked by secular homeschoolers?

Schools didn't USED TO start formal lessons until 7-8 years of age...Kindergarten even when I was a kid was VERY DIFFERENT compared to Kindergarten now. My Kindergarten was more like what preschool is now and my preschool was more like playgroups are now...it's just shifting younger and younger and the kids aren't ready for it IMHO. So yes, I do see some gender stuff, but doubtful if it's the MAIN reason or if there really are more boys then girls out there homeschooling...majority of homeschoolers are faith based and their reasons to homeschool are different then mine. So they keep all their babies home, regardless of gender. :)

ginnyjf
06-21-2012, 01:39 PM
Homeschooling an only boy; but who can say what we'd be doing if Zack had been a girl? Different kid, different circumstances.

zcat
06-21-2012, 02:19 PM
We only have one child and she is a girl. I don't think gender played a part in the decision because I was interested in homeschooling before dd was born. I think it is a great option for any child.

Of the homeschoolers I know the people who have more than one child are homeschooling boys and girls and the person who has one child is homeschooling a girl. They are all pretty dedicated to homeschooling and have done so from the beginning with their kids so I don't think gender has much to do with their decision either.

I just realized that I know more all boy families or mixed families than all girl families even if they send their kids to school. Families who just have girl children just seem to be less common.

dbmamaz
06-21-2012, 05:18 PM
I guess it could be that gender is the reason I don't see, because my boys struggled in school and school does seem to fail boys more than it fails girls, but I'm not sure

I as at one panel discussion where a homeschool dad said that it seems there are many more girls homeschooling than boys, but he's actually glad for that . . .other ppl on the panel assured him that was only because his girls were mostly spending time w kids who shared their interest, and that was mostly girls.

farrarwilliams
06-21-2012, 06:44 PM
So far, more boys... Though nearly everyone says gender's got nothing to do with it.

When I looked for stats, I found one that said more girls are homeschooled, one that said more boys and one that said it's even. Ah, the unreliability of homeschool stats.

Staysee34
06-21-2012, 09:02 PM
I picked gender has nothing to do with it for us. It just so happens that I have 3 girls. I am certain that given the same circumstances with all boys or boys and girls mixed, my decision would have been the same.

TriciaJ
06-21-2012, 09:05 PM
Homeschooling a girl, but hey, she says she's a boy and wears boy's underwear so....there ya go.

MrsLOLcat
06-21-2012, 09:17 PM
I'm jealous that you all know so many boys! I'd LOVE to find some families around here that have more testosterone than estrogen running rampant throughout their households. In my secular circle, it's girls, girls, and more girls. I think a rough estimate of the ratio would be 1:3 boy:girl. *sigh* That being said, DD loves attending a school and DS hates it. But he's got issues. ;)

cupcakes0104
06-21-2012, 10:07 PM
I have two girls and boys seem in short supply in our social circle. So maybe it has to do with what you have somewhat dictates the other families that you gravitate towards.

Little Brownelf
06-22-2012, 02:09 AM
Well, I responded we're both a boy and girl family (more recently, a 2 boy family.) My girl came first and my push to homeschool was based off her - and it was more an "I'm not sending her,to the schools here!" reason than anything else. At the end of the day, gender was not a reason for us.

I'm lucky that our local homeschool parkday seems to be fairly even when it comes to boys and girls. But there are a a few all girl families that participate.

Pefa
06-22-2012, 07:25 AM
May I respectfully point out that if you pull boys from a school because they aren't being challenged that is in part a gender thing - if our educational system doesn't support boys' learning styles (particularly in the early years) that is a gender thing. It may not be the first thing that pops into our minds as to why we hs but it is a piece of it.

lakshmi
06-22-2012, 08:47 AM
I could say that gender had something to do with it. I think in public school girls sometimes act like pack animals and I didn't want to have to deal with... But suzy said, sort of stuff untl they were older.

LuvMyPink83
06-22-2012, 10:05 AM
Interesting topic. We have boys and girls, and when first deciding to homeschool there was just one girl.

Now I have boys and I've read books about how the school system fails black boys because they just assume they'll end up in jail anyway so why bother.

If anyone is interested, there's something on www.yahoo.com (http://www.yahoo.com) about raising boys. It's under Most Popular and called Three big fears of raising boys. After I looked at I thought about this poll and now I think perhaps gender may have more to do with homeschooling for some people than I previously thought.

Shoe
06-22-2012, 11:13 AM
We're homeschooling both our son and daughter (though sending both to private school for next year, anyway). My son has been a lot easier to homeschool than has my daughter, though. I don't know if it's gender related, or just their differing personalities, though.

hockeymom
06-22-2012, 11:43 AM
May I respectfully point out that if you pull boys from a school because they aren't being challenged that is in part a gender thing - if our educational system doesn't support boys' learning styles (particularly in the early years) that is a gender thing. It may not be the first thing that pops into our minds as to why we hs but it is a piece of it.

I agree, but I wonder what issues dictate whether it's a gender issue or not. In no way do I think that my son's needs weren't being met because he's male; he was just working ahead of the game and his teachers resented it. I would have made the same decision for a girl. Now if the reason for pulling a child out is because he's simply not ready that's another thing, although lots and lots of girls aren't ready at age 6 or whatever either. It's tricky to sort out, for sure.

Pawz4me
06-22-2012, 12:21 PM
May I respectfully point out that if you pull boys from a school because they aren't being challenged that is in part a gender thing - if our educational system doesn't support boys' learning styles (particularly in the early years) that is a gender thing. It may not be the first thing that pops into our minds as to why we hs but it is a piece of it.

That assumption is only true if the girls in the same school are indeed being challenged. In our school that wasn't the case. It had nothing at all to do with learning styles and everything to do with overcrowded classrooms, overworked teachers and accountability standards that forced them to have to focus on getting the slower kids up to speed, leaving little to no time to devote to keeping the kids (of both sexes) who were more advanced challenged.

ljswriter
06-22-2012, 01:32 PM
In the homeschool group I was a part of, there were plenty of girls. At my house, 5 of my 7 kids were hs'd at least off and on, and it wasn't in regard to gender. I currently hs the youngest, a girl. Of the two that never hs'd, one's a girl and the other a boy.

My decision to hs was primarily influenced by the presence of LDs among my kids that made them struggle in PS. General statistics say that boys are much more likely to be diagnosed with LD's, so maybe that's why you notice more boys being hs'd where you live? Those rules don't apply in my family, though. All my girls had varying degrees of LDs, the one who is the most severely afflicted is a girl, and the only one who showed no noticeable signs is a boy.

Misha
06-22-2012, 01:43 PM
We have two girls. Our decision to hs was made during pregnancy - gender had nothing to do with it.

alegre
06-22-2012, 04:10 PM
One of the key reasons I choose homeschooling is to avoid the sexism that's present in schools (public and private).

Of course, sexism pervades all of society, but school is one of the major places it is modeled and learned, often by people who do so quite subconsciously (but the effects are just as harmful). There are studies that show that teachers pay attention to and call on boys much more often than girls, for instance.

I understand what many of you have said, that traditional schooling methods don't work well for many boys. In fact, I think that those same methods, to the extent that they work for SOME girls and to the extent that those obedient girls are then praised, serve to reinforce the idea that girls in particular should be docile - a sexist idea, in the midst of a system that harms both boys and girls!

I have two daughters, and I certainly don't want them to grow up with attitudes that limit who they are or that treat them as inferior because of their gender. But if I had sons I'd also want to avoid them growing up thinking that they were somehow "better" because of their gender.

farrarwilliams
06-22-2012, 06:03 PM
One of the key reasons I choose homeschooling is to avoid the sexism that's present in schools (public and private).


I didn't consider this until my kids were almost school age anyway, but I was so glad to not have my kids in school where gender role enforcement is so strong. Good grief. It would have crushed my sweet, long-haired, ballet dancer. He happily walks away from random kids who hassle him about wearing purple shoes, but in school there'd be nowhere to go.

I think both boys and girls get the short end of things in different ways in schools now. It's just rotten for everyone. I don't see it as being worse for either side, just different tortures and negative messages with different poor results.

dottieanna29
06-22-2012, 08:24 PM
I put I'm homeschooling a boy and a girl but gender does have something to do with it. We started homeschooling because the public school didn't want my son for kindergarten until he was 6 because he was a boy with a late August birthday. We continued as we realized he has some definite quirks that make school a bad fit. My youngest daughter would probably do fine in public school (just like her big sister) but since the two of them do everything together, it makes sense to keep her home too.

Edited to add: My wider homeschool circle seems heavy on the boys but my 4-H group is about even thanks to one family with three girls.

Jeni
06-22-2012, 09:04 PM
We decided to homeschool before we had kids, so gender wasn't a topic for us.

That being said, after getting to know my kids over the years, I can see where it's a positive thing we homeschool them. For example, my dd's very, very active. If she doesn't get enough activity, she turns evil. She has trouble sitting still - a plus for hs.

Going further with the gender idea, she has always had "male" tendencies, identifies as boy over girl, since around 2 years old. If we wanted her to be herself, going to school would be very difficult for her where it's either fit in or be the kid every one kicks around for being different. She's already faced ridicule because she prefers to dress more masculine or likes sports. We try to encourage her to be creative and find ways to incorporate her gender and personality in how she presents herself. Even homeschoolers can be hostile.

Ds on the other hand is a typical boy, loves to be active, can't stop yammering. He wouldn't survive, at least not the little boy we know now. While he can get super annoying and overwhelming sometimes, it would kill me to see that squashed out of him or have it suggested he need medication because he's acting like an average boy. He's also the kid who will tell me I look pretty, notices beautiful flowers, and likes to wear dresses (we don't encourage this and kind of hope this is just a passing phase). But I think he would do better socially in traditional school, much better then dd.

lakshmi
06-27-2012, 08:00 AM
One of the key reasons I choose homeschooling is to avoid the sexism that's present in schools (public and private).

Of course, sexism pervades all of society, but school is one of the major places it is modeled and learned, often by people who do so quite subconsciously (but the effects are just as harmful). There are studies that show that teachers pay attention to and call on boys much more often than girls, for instance.

I understand what many of you have said, that traditional schooling methods don't work well for many boys. In fact, I think that those same methods, to the extent that they work for SOME girls and to the extent that those obedient girls are then praised, serve to reinforce the idea that girls in particular should be docile - a sexist idea, in the midst of a system that harms both boys and girls!

I have two daughters, and I certainly don't want them to grow up with attitudes that limit who they are or that treat them as inferior because of their gender. But if I had sons I'd also want to avoid them growing up thinking that they were somehow "better" because of their gender.

I thought that this was interesting. I hadn't thought of these notions at all.

But if children watch any television at all they can get all the sexism they miss in school at home! So, is it school, church, tele, wherever sexism exists and it will still be learned. Simply from cutting or not cutting hair. Farrar, I think that this is a non-issue in your home, but a lot of families follow "gender" when it comes to haircuts, so how are we at home subconsciously affecting our children's sexism quotient.

I know that in our family my daughters think that men cook, ha ha. BUT, They also know that boys have short hair and girls have long hair, that boys can go shirtless while girls cannot, that etc.. etc...etc... it isn't possible to avoid sexism or gender issues at home or at school.

But the good thing at home is that at least you can impart your own brand of sexism, whereas at school there is a whole other range of it. From being sexually harassed by other students or by teachers, even subtly, to the issues with extroverts and introverts, which could appear as gender roles.

crunchynerd
07-10-2012, 07:49 AM
I think that one reason there seem to be so many people homeschooling boys, maybe, is that some people homeschool as a reaction against something happening, or perceived to be impending, in public school, and boys outnumber girls statistically in learning disabilities, autism spectrum disorders, and other factors that make homeschooling desirable for parents who might not otherwise have considered it. Add to that the behavioral expectations that slant school's idea of success, away from boys (whereas girls have an easier time, statistically, of meeting or complying with those expectations) and that's my hypothesis as to why there may not be as many families with only girls, homeschooling.

For me, it had nothing to do with it. I had only my first, a girl, when we decided school wasn't for us. Then I had 2 sons. But I do think you're observing something real, that males outnumber females in homeschooling, and I think the more frequent labels and diagnoses, and more frequent medication of, boys in public school systems, has something to do with it.

Cafdog
07-10-2012, 10:43 AM
Disclosure - I only have one girl, so means for comparison for a son. Gender played no part in our initial decision to homeschool, but I can honestly say it does now. DD is entering 6th grade this year, and we have noticed a great change in her emotional and mental well-being. She was not bullied or unhappy in PS, but I realize now that she did not handle the budding "mean girl" drama years very well... even in 4th grade.

In hindsight, we (including her) are very grateful to "sit out" those pesky middle-school years.

I voted "might have something to do with it" - but more so for the reason we continue to hs.

snowpeople5
07-10-2012, 01:44 PM
My DH, than BF brought idea of HS before we were even engaged, so gender played no part in the decision at all. There is a school in Netherlands (I believe) that is completely gender neutral. Even if the entire US school system was like that, I would still want to HS our kids. There are way too many issues with PS system for my taste

coloradoalice
07-10-2012, 01:54 PM
I know home schooling families made up of every possible sort. There are onlies, all boys, all girls and families with both. I've never had gender come up as a reason to home school either although after we started home schooling I read Raising Cain and that did influence me to think boys can especially benefit from staying away from institutional learning.

AmyButler
07-10-2012, 03:41 PM
There are 3 homeschool families on my street (all 2 blocks of it). I have a girl, the neighbors have 3 girls and one boy (who isn't in school yet), and the family down the street has 2 girls and one boy, but only homeschool the oldest girl who has ADHD and some learning disorders. I kind of expect her to pull her younger daughter and homeschool also, if she has as bad of luck in 4th grade as my daughter and her older daughter did. All three families are new to homeschooling too! We have more neighbors who are considering it seeing how much better off our kids are since they are not in that school anymore.

dbmamaz
07-12-2012, 12:20 PM
thought about this poll yesterday - i have been doing a wed am park day, and honestly its mostly just friends of friends coming right now - but yesterday we had 6 boys between the ages of 4 and 9, plus my 16 yo boy, and one 1-yo girl. There was another woman at the park, not a homeschooler, but she had two girls - a 5 yo who played w the little boys and a 15 yo who hung out w my son. made me wonder ...

kohlby
07-12-2012, 02:27 PM
I have two boys and one girl, with the girl being the middle child. Had the girl been the oldest, I likely would have not started with homeschooling. But it doesn't have to do with girl vs boy, but the specific child. ODS was a wiggly, impusive boy. He was a challenge from birth. He has some sensory issues which made his behavior severely effected. He was also an obviously smart kid - but he learned out of order, like he couldn't count to 20 outloud at 4 years old but taught himself how to add decimals with carrying at the same age. Homeschooling was really the only option for him since I could let him learn out of order and gave us more time for him to deal with the sensory issues and him maturity to catch up - which it did.

My middle child is very much a rule-follower. She would have done fine in public kindy. (Though just "fine" is different than ideal!) But ODS would not have. So, though a boy is my reason for homeschooling initially, it's not his gender but his personality.

kewb22
07-12-2012, 09:09 PM
I've got one of each. I have friends with boys, friends with girls, friends with both. For us the reason had nothing to do with gender.