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View Full Version : What do you do about boredom?



Avalon
04-12-2012, 07:09 PM
I'm talking about grownup boredom here. I quit my job 10 years ago when my ds was born. I only planned to be home for a couple of years at the most. I've been homeschooling for 6 years now, and frankly, I'm a little bored. The kids don't need hands-on, one-on-one, nitty-gritty face-time all day long anymore, so it's not like just getting through the day is a challenge.

I spend a lot of time just taking them places: I drive them to rehearsal, to taekwondo, to piano, to a friend's house, etc. I wait for them at these places and chat with the other parents, but it's getting boring. We get the housework done together, I walk the dog, make supper, whatever, and it's all just so blah.

I feel busy enough with their schedule that I don't have huge blocks of time open to me so I could do something else, but driving them places and helping them with math isn't exactly a thrilling challenge, either.

My husband works at a challenging, rewarding career that he loves and wouldn't dream of quitting. Sometimes I feel guilty because he's working his butt off and I'm standing around at the playground or baking cookies at home. I do the majority of household maintenance just because it makes sense for me to do it, but I definitely don't find it rewarding.

I often think that if I could just have a job that would help so much, but I don't even know what kind of work I want to do. Frankly, I can't believe I'm whining about boredom at all. Am I the only one with this problem?

AmyButler
04-12-2012, 07:12 PM
I do genealogy--it keeps my mind functioning and can be challenging.

Stella M
04-12-2012, 07:47 PM
I think it's a transition thing; I know I went through something similar. The kids weren't small enough to to be needing my every minute but I was still bound to them.

Things I found helped: taking up an old ( could be new! ) passion, learning a few new skills, exercise, having an e-pal to be silly and serious with, about homeschooling and more, children's learning content becoming more interesting, doing some very part-time work ( only a couple of hours a week during term )...

Learning content is a biggie for me...dd14 is studying physics, psychology and philosophy so it's meaty enough to be an interest and a challenge to me.

I'm definitely over the worst of the boredom thing. It seems so self-indulgent, doesn't it, and I guess it is...nevertheless, it's real and it takes some time to work out a way to deal with it.

dbmamaz
04-12-2012, 08:39 PM
sometimes i fantasize about job-hunting . . . i watch too many movies on netflix . . . the school work does keep me somewhat engaged, at least, we dont really do classes. But i keep thinking i need something else.

farrarwilliams
04-12-2012, 08:48 PM
I write.

When my kids get to be that age, honestly, I think I'm going to be thinking about ways to put myself back in the job market. Somewhere between ages 11-14ish, I want to go back to work part time.

baker
04-12-2012, 09:45 PM
How about volunteering. I was on he board of our local museum (event planning, etc) and I volunteered at a public school. Civic clubs can be very rewarding and don't take a huge amount of time.

laundrycrisis
04-12-2012, 10:07 PM
I stay up late reading. My Amazon wish list is huge - I always need more time to read. I am also learning to play the violin by sitting in on our sons' lessons (I have my own rental instrument). I also enjoy Plants vs Zombies, Fruit Ninja and Angry Birds, all on a rooted Nook. Someday when I am not so tired I will tackle languages again. I also want to rent a cello.

dbmamaz
04-12-2012, 10:08 PM
At my local conference they were looking for more volunteers, including ppl to man the help line . . . i'm tempted to offer to do that. but i want to make sure whether or not dh is going to take a job in WI first . . . getting this house ready to sell would take a LOT of time . . . and be boring and stressful, but at least i'd be to busy to really feel bored.

Accidental Homeschooler
04-12-2012, 10:45 PM
Mostly I wander around the house looking at the mess. I guess I will know when I have reached my limit of boredom because I will start cleaning. Reading is a big one for me, get a cup of coffee and curl up on the sofa and read a mystery. Sometimes I create drama for myself, like freaking out about hsing for high school. If I can't create a mini crisis for myself or don't have a book I knit or sew. I am about halfway through a cardigan for dd14. Today I watched Khan academy videos about factoring trinomials. I am finding that Algebra is sort of satisfying.

MrsLOLcat
04-12-2012, 10:48 PM
I'm with you. Five years ago I put myself through a medical transcription course from home, and then I worked from home for the next three years, but I quit in December 2010, so I haven't worked for more than a year. It's the longest I've been without a paying job since I was 14 years old. I'm slowly going crazy. I read a lot. I used to work on my family genealogy, but my stepmother has all my paperwork and is doing more with it than I had ever had the time or resources to do, so I'm happy to let her keep going. I've been studying German using Rosetta Stone. I've cross-stitched a couple of pieces for DD and one of my friends. But I feel a desperate need to get OUT of my house and do something, and with DH's odd work schedule (he works an 8-5 job most of the time, but if a customer needs to do a system installation/upgrade, he's on the hook for evenings and weekends), it's hard to do anything that requires me to be somewhere at a certain time; and like you, I don't even know what I want to do. I do notice that I seem to get bored in phases, and it comes and goes. I've never been one to sit still very long - when I was in high school I was in band, took tae kwon do, kept straight A's in honors classes, and worked two part-time jobs simultaneously - so while I can't say I'm *bored* being at home, I feel more like I'm stagnating. I figure something will fall in my lap soon enough; that's generally what happens. And if worse comes to worse, I'll sign up for some online college classes! :)

Avalon
04-13-2012, 12:35 AM
Thank you all for your kind replies. I went out tonight and I was feeling embarrassed about posting such a ridiculous complaint. I'm sure I've delivered some great lectures to my kids about boredom!

What's funny is that I was SOOOO busy in February and March that I felt completely overwhelmed. I am registered to take a 4-week course in May, so I'll be pretty busy then, too. I really just have this 3-week-long lull in the schedule and instead of just enjoying it, I'm worried that I'm not working or contributing enough to the household, and I'm being lazy and what happened to my ambition and drive????

I think another reason I'm out of sorts is that I've practically abandoned doing any "school work" at all in the past month because we've been so busy with other things. I have always LOVED the actual homeschooling that we do. It gives our days a lovely structure and flow, we have great discussions about books, the kids get enthusiastic about starting projects and doing experiments, and I just love it so completely. Because I'm starting this course in 2 weeks, I'm not sure if I'm even going to bother making the kids work until June, so I'm just totally out of rhythm.

JinxieFox
04-13-2012, 05:34 AM
I do genealogy--it keeps my mind functioning and can be challenging.

This, absolutely. Plus, research relaxes me.


I write.

And this, as many hours a day as possible.

This is a good time for you to explore your own interests and follow them. :)

ercswf
04-13-2012, 09:52 AM
I make things. I also like to go four leaf clover hunting. Currently my collection is over 200 clovers not counting the pretty ones that I did something with and sold.

kailuamom67
04-13-2012, 02:48 PM
I think the key is being stimulated, not necessarily busy, right? IMHO, you need to find something that feeds your soul that is uniquely yours. Even though some days I hate it, that is work for me. Also has been my volunteering on my son's marching band board of directors. While both of these things are connected to the family, they are mine supporting my identity as an individual.

bovinesituation
04-13-2012, 06:20 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean and I'm there right now. DH has weird hours and while I used to volunteer at the library, he gets home too late and I can't do that anymore. It's hard for me to get out in the evenings because by the time I cook and clean up the mess, it's getting late and I think DH starts getting twitchy if I'm not home by 8:30 or so. Basically I have about an hour on weeknights which is barely worth the effort.

I'm trying to sell stuff on etsy, but frankly I've been so depressed that I haven't even felt like knitting. (I'm going to the dr on Monday to talk about going back on meds)

gidamom
04-13-2012, 07:36 PM
I promise I could have written this post! My children are at an age where they do not need me constantly and I would like to do something meaningful for myself. Not only could I help with income, but I am going through a stage where I feel I have no true purpose or am not doing something meaningful or important in the world..blah Does it make sense??

I need to start out by finding a purpose or somehitng meaningful enough to do...even if just as a part time or hobby.