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chiliflicka
04-06-2012, 06:46 AM
Does anyone have info/articles to give to extended family members who are skeptical about our decision to homeschool? I know it is our decision and they should "mind their own business"; however I would like some real statistics and unbiased information about the benefits, etc to show them if they are interested. Thanks!

Lou
04-06-2012, 09:36 AM
There are loads of books/articles out there, but will you really get them to read it?

My dad has some concerns about social interation because his grandkids are homeschooled. We all know they get plenty of proper socialization, I sent him info on it, he isn't going to read it, if he did, he's never mentioned it and has never stopped with his 'concerns' about it.


I think if you just do it and stick to your guns (don't let their comments of concerns bother you, that is THEIR deal) then in a year or two they should lighten up because they will see that your children did not spontanously combust or become the most unsocial dummies on the block. Time will help ease that. Stay strong and do what you feel is right for your children and your immediate family. It's just one of those things that takes time IMHO. I have never been able to get skeptical folks to read and accept information. It's like politics and religion, you aren't going to change their mind until they see the children thriving! :)

TeachingStars
04-06-2012, 09:59 AM
I used to wish there was some sort of pamphlet for family members who didn't understand... But really, like the pp said, in most scenarios its just time and proof in the pudding that will get them to eventually see the light.

jennykay
04-06-2012, 10:50 AM
Yes, when we first told my parents I braced myself for their reaction but it turns out my mom has two employees who were homeschooled. She said they are among the most well rounded, articulate and generally happy employees she's had. I don't think an article would have won her over. Maybe there are opportunities for your family to interact with homeschoolers?

laundrycrisis
04-06-2012, 11:55 AM
These books are good:

The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel GathercoleHomeschooling: A Path Rediscovered for Socialization, Education, and Family by Frank Vahid and Amy Schechter Vahid

Lou
04-06-2012, 12:03 PM
These books are good:

The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel GathercoleHomeschooling: A Path Rediscovered for Socialization, Education, and Family by Frank Vahid and Amy Schechter Vahid


The well adjusted child is the book I sent my dad, I think if he actually took the time to read it, he'd see the light. Time is convincing him and I basically wasted my $$$ on sending him the book. :/

My MIL still sends passive agressive links to 'interesting educational' web sites in the areas she thinks I'm lacking. But I'm happy, because in a way she's HELPING me find some sites I didn't otherwise know about and my kids have enjoyed the games on one particular site. Even though she does it in a crappy way, I try my best to see the positive side and just say "thanks" smile and move on to another topic with her.

laundrycrisis
04-06-2012, 12:18 PM
Another thought - you might have them watch the youtube of Stupid in America from 2006. It is very alarming.

dragonfly
04-06-2012, 02:00 PM
There's this: http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/ray2009/2009_Ray_StudyFINAL.pdf

Now, I'm not sure how unbiased this report is, given the source. Perhaps someone else can speak to that...? I wouldn't want to be deliberately misleading, but the study does seem to support many things I've read elsewhere in regards to test scores, at least. IIRC, some thought the section on parents' educational background correlated to their child's test scores was flawed--but it was a while ago, so I might be misremembering.

It does cast homeschooling in a very positive light, and it's in a format that is quick and easy to read. It might go over better than offering up a book.

Lou
04-06-2012, 02:05 PM
Another thought - you might have them watch the youtube of Stupid in America from 2006. It is very alarming.

Feeling a bit lazy and assuming it will benefit others that might read this as well.
How long is the video? (so I can set aside time for it) :)

If you have a link (but I can find it on my own later) that might be handy as well for others to check it out. :)

Lou
04-06-2012, 02:07 PM
There's this: http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/ray2009/2009_Ray_StudyFINAL.pdf

Now, I'm not sure how unbiased this report is, given the source. Perhaps someone else can speak to that...? I wouldn't want to be deliberately misleading, but the study does seem to support many things I've read elsewhere in regards to test scores, at least. IIRC, some thought the section on parents' educational background correlated to their child's test scores was flawed--but it was a while ago, so I might be misremembering.

It does cast homeschooling in a very positive light, and it's in a format that is quick and easy to read. It might go over better than offering up a book.

This is where I find it difficult, because you find things that are pro or con but all are supported by 'their cause' to find objective info is TOUGH! Anytime I've quoted something, I get the reply of bias info stats, etc....but we've been in for a year now and the comments of concern are dwindling drastically. I think the grandparents are enjoying the fact that the kids are able to visit at more convenient times for THEM! ha ha!

farrarwilliams
04-06-2012, 02:24 PM
It does seem like there ought to be a FAQ for people... "So your relatives/neighbors/friends have decided to homeschool..." or "There are no dumb questions about homeschooling" or something like that. I'd make one, but surely it already exists.

theWeedyRoad
04-06-2012, 02:30 PM
You know, when my father found out we were homeschooling, he wasn't supportive at all.

I spoke at length with a teacher friend about what was going on in ps, and had a rebuttal for most of his arguments.... and that's when he said he had a teaching degree he'd never mentioned before- and he's been retired for 20 years- and that he knew better. No amount of statistics, the improved behavior of my children, or anything else would have convinced him.

For us (and I know this is silly), bumping into some other homeschooling family at the local store turned the tide. Realizing we werent' as 'weird' as he'd thought was what did it. That has happened with my sister, as well. It didn't matter that I have posters up, can quote the stats, or that I have tons of curricula. They needed a source outside of ME to see that it was ok.

You might be able to find something here- I'm sorry I don't have time to go through all the links: http://www.homeschoolingincalifornia.com/gettingstarted/whyhomeschool/research.aspx

farrarwilliams
04-06-2012, 03:14 PM
I agree that people who aren't going to be convinced, just aren't.

Another good source of homeschool stats and studies is the blog Homeschool Research Notes.

laundrycrisis
04-06-2012, 03:41 PM
Feeling a bit lazy and assuming it will benefit others that might read this as well.
How long is the video? (so I can set aside time for it) :)

If you have a link (but I can find it on my own later) that might be handy as well for others to check it out. :)


Here, I think this may be the original broadcast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx4pN-aiofw

It is 40 minutes.

dragonfly
04-06-2012, 04:05 PM
Yeah, I think ultimately, the proof will have to be in the pudding. No matter how great the article/book/website/statistic that you give your relatives, I suspect they might always look at it a little askance. Maybe they think that you are just trying to convince them by giving them the best you can find...? (Anyway, that's been my experience with trying to convince those who are unsure about or against homeschooling.) Sometimes, it's better if they are able to find these things independently. It will seem more legitimate then, for some reason.

crkirby
04-06-2012, 04:41 PM
I found that the best thing that worked for me, and my family who questioned, was the progress they saw with their own eyes from my kids. I had information out the wazoo on homeschooling, benefits, etc. but still they didn't think it was a good idea because they were set in their ways. After a few months they started to see the huge growth in my kids, and it's eventually gotten to the point where they openly admit how good homeschooling is.

Good luck!

PetVet
04-06-2012, 07:19 PM
Here is the study we Canucks like to use - short and to the point. Caution however: it found 'unschoolers' to have lowest scores of all, so if you are an unschooler - skip it!


Martin-Chang, S.L., Gould, O.N., & Meuse, R.E. (2011). The impact of schooling on academic achievement: Evidence from homeschooled and traditionally schooled students. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 43, 195-202.

Although homeschooling is growing in prevalence, its educational outcomes remain unclear. The present study compared the academic achievements of homeschooled children with children attending traditional public school. When the homeschooled group was divided into those who were taught from organized lesson plans (structured homeschoolers) and those who were not (unstructured homeschoolers), the data showed that structured homeschooled children achieved higher standardized scores compared with children attending public school. Exploratory analyses also suggest that the unstructured homeschoolers are achieving the lowest standardized scores across the 3 groups.

The authors of this study of 74 children, half homeschooled, half institutionally schooled, conclude that structured homeschooling is best, public schooling next, and unstructured homeschooling worst at producing high levels of academic achievement. They begin with a nice summary of the limits of previous studies of academic achievement - they wanted to overcome the sampling biases of this and many other HSLDA-funded studies of academic achievement. To do this they sent out ads in every medium possible to recruit public and homeschooled students between ages 5 and 10 in Canada. They chose 37 public schooled and 37 homeschooled children from the recruits. These kids were then matched up so as to create pairs of demographically similar children.

Parents filled out a demographic questionnaire and children took the Woodcock-Johnson Test of Achievement. Both homeschoolers and conventionally schooled children were given the test in the same way by the same people, thus avoiding one of the most common problems with most academic achievement studies.

The results were that the structured homeschoolers scored higher than the public schoolers on every part of the test, even though their families reported slightly lower incomes and their mothers had a bit less formal education. Unstructured homeschoolers, on the other hand, consistently scored lower than institutionally schooled students, and in four of the seven categories they performed below grade level.

homeschoolinginbuffalo
04-06-2012, 07:23 PM
I use defensive measures to deal with the naysayers. I do one thing that I call defensive socialization. There is a local kindergarten where the school kids come out and use the playground that is open to everyone. I take my kids there pretty often and many times they are out for recess. Whenever someone mentions socialization, I mention that they do recess with the school kids. Since, in their warped minds this is ideal, they don't have much to counter this. Also, my kids like going there and playing with other kids so there is no harm. I am not sure what it says about the naysayers that they can be easily impressed by something like this, but it works very well.

cupcakes0104
04-06-2012, 09:46 PM
I started out 3 years ago wanting to try to talk to everyone about it, to explain, convince, etc. I've found that "less is more." If someone asks me a big, broad question like, "How is school going?" I'll say, "Great, thanks for asking." If they ask me a more specific question, I'll answer it but try to be brief. I think some of my family members are thinking I'll get this out of my system and come to my senses. Some are asking more questions now that it seems to be taking longer than they originally expected it would. Ha ha.

The proof IS in the pudding.

The "less is more" approach works for me because I won't engage in debate with anyone. It just "is" and there is nothing they can do about it. I feel that if they think I am weak on the issue, they will peck me to death. So I don't give them the opportunity.

I agree that "The Well-Adjusted Child" is an excellent read. Any "first year" or "why homeschool" book would be a good read - if they will read it.

Overall, I think people don't want to question the choices they made for their children (currently in ps or graduates). Stepping out of the box makes people uncomfortable. So I try to be brief in my answers because if I spout off too many statistics and such, it just contributes to people feeling uncomfortable and creates a defensive response. I think my brother would love to see his kids homeschooled but his wife would truly implode because she is a very uptight person. She makes lots of comments that I have to ignore.

My 89 year old grandmother likes to ask my kids if they like their teacher every year. But recently she added, "Your teacher sure seems to be doing a great job." ;) Now if I could get the rest of the family to think that way!

Lou
04-06-2012, 10:06 PM
It does seem like there ought to be a FAQ for people... "So your relatives/neighbors/friends have decided to homeschool..." or "There are no dumb questions about homeschooling" or something like that. I'd make one, but surely it already exists.

When you do it, please send me one :)


For us (and I know this is silly), bumping into some other homeschooling family at the local store turned the tide. Realizing we werent' as 'weird' as he'd thought was what did it. That has happened with my sister, as well. It didn't matter that I have posters up, can quote the stats, or that I have tons of curricula. They needed a source outside of ME to see that it was ok.

That was a tide turner for my MIL & husband too. My husband was on board because he saw the pain and suffering our child was going thru at school, but he wasn't convinced until he realized that 1 of his co-workers was homeschooled (all the way thru) and 3 of his co-workers homeschooled their children. He's an engineer, so there might be a connection there ha ha!

My MIL was TOTALLY NOT FOR IT at first. She ran into a woman (fellow mother with similar aged children) I grew up with that my MIL admires (because she is family friends with this woman's parents) My MIL said in a poo poo voice that her DIL (ME!) was homeschooling the grandkids. (with a isn't that stupid tone) And this woman had a very positive reply and said things like: She's doing the very best thing she could for those kids, that's awesome, your grandkids are going to be getting the best of the best, yada yada yada. That was very helpful!!! She still does a few passive things like send information about education to me. But my MIL's comments have NEVER bothered me. I think if she had any 'pull' on my hubby I might be offended a touch, but he gets greatly annoyed by his mom easily! If it weren't for me, they probably wouldn't speak and our kids wouldn't know their grandma. (and she knows this too, so she doesn't push my buttons much)


Here, I think this may be the original broadcast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx4pN-aiofw

It is 40 minutes.

Thank you! :) I will need to set aside time for that one.

laundrycrisis
04-06-2012, 10:27 PM
It also helps when you reach the point of really and truly not caring what anyone thinks about your choice to home educate. I will not debate this. If someone asks for resources to check it out, I will suggest some, but I do not care if they follow up or not. I am not at all invested in convincing anyone or defending our choice. If someone truly just wants information or is wanting to address their own doubts about perhaps trying it, I'm more than happy to share how I have overcome those. But for those who are only trying to criticize and argue to give me doubts, and they are easy to spot as their tone is very different, I will not waste my breath.

I will politely decline debate once. After that, I am no longer polite about it. I will turn to arrogance (regarding my own education, experience and intelligence), stubbornness (it took years of facing down naysayers pre-kids for me to build this confidence), the worthless nature of my own K-12 education, and a somewhat abrasive conversational tone. They asked, I kindly offered a place to find more information, and declined to debate our choice. If they didn't catch my clear signal to back off and kept going after that, it's on them. People do not return to me with another attempt at debate after this.

wife&mommy
04-07-2012, 08:52 AM
I am the same way. I have no desire at all to debate it with people who think otherwise. I'm more of just you do what works for you and I'll do what works for me.

Accidental Homeschooler
04-07-2012, 10:39 AM
"Family Matters Why Homeschooling Makes Sense", by David Guterson is a good one. He teaches high school English while hsing his kids. He also wrote "Snow Falling on Cedars", a novel I loved. I think he does a good job with the pros and cons and with talking about the limitations of ps. Of course I never would have gotten my family to read it. They had to see for themselves that hsing was going to be OK and most of them have come around.

Walking-Iris
04-07-2012, 07:43 PM
It's been a long time since I looked at Home Education Magazine's website www.home-ed.mag.com I believe. But I do remember there being something like a free ebook or pamphlet that was an intro to homeschooling.

I really enjoyed David Guterson's book and I love Snow Falling On Cedars and the movie!!! :)

I think that it's highly doubtful that I would ever get my in-laws to read anything either. They just needed to learn to accept that I was the parent and that everything was going to turn out okay.

I nearly gave my MIL heart attacks with my firstborn, and the first grandkid---natural birth at a birthing center, breastfeeding into toddlerhood, cosleeping, vegetarian family and homeschooling---she's come around now though. But whew it was her nightmare at first.

Accidental Homeschooler
04-08-2012, 10:17 AM
I nearly gave my MIL heart attacks with my firstborn, and the first grandkid---natural birth at a birthing center, breastfeeding into toddlerhood, cosleeping, vegetarian family and homeschooling---she's come around now though. But whew it was her nightmare at first.

Your MIL and mine should do lunch. They could commiserate!

Lou
04-08-2012, 11:53 PM
I am the same way. I have no desire at all to debate it with people who think otherwise. I'm more of just you do what works for you and I'll do what works for me.


^^^ I agree ^^^

You can't really change other people's minds when their goal is to change yours. So it's easier to live and let live. :)

Lou
04-08-2012, 11:56 PM
I nearly gave my MIL heart attacks with my firstborn, and the first grandkid---natural birth at a birthing center, breastfeeding into toddlerhood, cosleeping, vegetarian family and homeschooling---she's come around now though. But whew it was her nightmare at first.


LMAO! I bet that was a fun couple of first years! ha ha!

Isabel
04-09-2012, 02:53 AM
I do wonder about the motivations behind some people's questions / comments. Sometimes they are genuinely interested or even admiring, sometimes it comes from real concern, but many of you seem to be getting various versions of "Hey you're WRONG".

Why would somebody talk like that? I wouldn't dream of telling another parent "Schooled kids have inferior social skills" or asking "Aren't you worried that your child won't be able to keep up with the homeschooled kids?", much less expect the parent to provide books, articles and studies to show that school is a good choice.

I really suspect that many people are simply being defensive: they would prefer that everybody conform so that they don't ever feel obliged to question their own choices.