PDA

View Full Version : How supportive is your pediatrician of HSing?



mermo
03-28-2012, 01:24 PM
We have not begun HSing yet (plan to in Aug). I have not brought the subject up yet with our pediatician but will be seeing her for my twins 5 year check and I know school with come up as a topic.
Just wondering what types of response you have experienced? How much does it matter to you if your pedi is not particularly pro HSing?

Thanks

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
03-28-2012, 01:35 PM
Our pediatrician has admitted that she doesn't know much about it and usually asks about it (in a friendly way) during checkups. She makes a point of asking about their extracurricular activities (checking to make sure they're--gasp!--socialized?), but otherwise it doesn't come up much. If she were hostile to homeschooling I would definitely find a new doctor.

Be prepared for the fact that many medical professionals are 1. not knowledgeable about homeschooling and often have a bias against it and 2. are not shy about criticizing it because they are "experts" about kids and you supposedly are not. Stick to your guns if anyone questions your decision and don't be afraid to switch to someone more sympathetic to homeschooling.

Crabby Lioness
03-28-2012, 01:56 PM
There's a benefit to living in a state whose schools are at the bottom of the barrel. No one criticizes your decision to homeschool.

dottieanna29
03-28-2012, 02:43 PM
I've had the same pediatricians for 18 years but my oldest was never homeschooled. I had been kind of avoiding bringing it up because I LOVE my pediatricians and didn't really want to know if they were going to be super against it and give me the kind of crap I see people getting from their peds. I mentioned it the last time my kids had their physicals and the doctor we saw that time (our usual but we do sometimes see others) was completely fine with it. Just acted like it was a normal, mainstream choice and mentioned that she had some other patients that were homeschooled.

Maybe it was that she's known me for 18 years.

ginnyjf
03-28-2012, 03:07 PM
Our pediatrician is 100% in favor of homeschooling. At Zack's last visit she said, "All you have to do is look at this kid and talk to him to know he's thriving." Our family physician is not just 100% in favor of it, he is wildly enthusiastic and is always asking questions about what we're up to. "Sticking it to the system," is how he refers to it. I love our doctors.

ercswf
03-28-2012, 03:35 PM
Our pediatrician is very supportive. He is more interested in parents doing what their child needs then trying to make all kids fit into a box. He saw first hand that my boys had some....quirks that would get in the way of formal school situations working out very well. And he had suggested that we pull them and homeschool them and that is when I told him that I already beat him to that and pulled them because it simply was not working. He also is one that believes that academics are important but also it is very important to learn to function and he believes that schools can get in the way of some children's ability to learn to function.

Sk8ermaiden
03-28-2012, 03:37 PM
My ped would rather we were radically unschooling. She's kind of an odd duck - pretty anti establishment. We love her, she's amazing.

farrarwilliams
03-28-2012, 03:39 PM
Generally supportive. Though anyone can be an idiot. There are two in the practice - one is always very supportive. The other once, when BalletBoy was being really, really weird in his check-up said, "Does he associate with people outside the family?" and I nearly got up and left. It was all I could do to sputter out, "You see all our friends!" and then start listing them. But since I saw her once and she made a supportive comment, so I'm allowing it to be blamed on my kid being extra weird that day.

hockeymom
03-28-2012, 04:00 PM
Our family doctor is very supportive (DS doesn't have a pediatrician anymore), as is our dentist. The dentist actually gushed about how much homeschoolers rock and asked all kinds of interested, supportive questions about which curriculum we use. He's not a young guy so it sort of took me back, but it's so common here I guess they see a lot of homeschooling families.

I wouldn't change doctors based on their personal thoughts about homeschooling, unless I was dealing with issues that they tried to blame on our choice. Although, I do appreciate that our doctor asks my son questions about all kinds things, from schooling to sports, to friends and how to react if someone acts inappropriately or has a gun. I hope it will continue to be a healthy relationship that will grow as DS does, and that he can truly see his doctor as a confidant if he needs to. So I guess his doctor would at least need to be respectful of our choice, if not downright supportive.

dbmamaz
03-28-2012, 04:13 PM
I didnt start homeschooling until my bipolar/autistic/tourettes son had finished 7th grade. My ped really likes me and my kids, and she saw how much we'd been through, and both my son's special ed homeschooler teacher and his psychiatrist were supportive of it, so she was on board. We had spent 8 years trying to make him sit still and blend in and it was just not working.

Not the doctors, but everyone in my family, was all 'Well, it makes sense for Orion, but you dont HAVE to homeschool Raven . . why dont you just put him back in school?!' Um, because he's really thriving too?

Cafdog
03-28-2012, 04:36 PM
Our ped is a family friend. He thinks we are a little wacky for homeschooling, but is supportive.

Staysee34
03-28-2012, 04:52 PM
We've only been with our pediatrician for a couple of years, When I informed her of our decision to homeschool, she never batted an eye...didn't ask a single question now that I think about it. She's relatively young and doesn't yet have children of her own. She seems pretty open minded and the girls absolutely love her. In November, when we went to the physical appointments, she asked how school was going. I told her we were slowly finding our sea legs but the girls were doing much better. That was the end of it.

jess
03-28-2012, 05:35 PM
Our old pediatrician homeschooled his kids.

Jackielyn
03-28-2012, 05:41 PM
Being in the military you very rarely see the same doc twice...so...I give rats butt what a doc thinks about homeschooling...I can't trust that they know what is best for my child because they don't know me or my child...SO...call me cynical but I just don't have that trusting relationship with doctors like some do.

SolsticeDreamer
03-28-2012, 06:09 PM
I don't recall ever discussing my children's education with our ped. In any event, it wouldn't matter whether they were supportive or not. That's a decision made by their father and me. If I liked them, I would continue to use them unless they started questioning our decision every time we were in the office. In that case, I would probably be looking for another doctor.

wife&mommy
03-28-2012, 08:47 PM
Our pedi is supportive of it and in our last appointment she even said a few times about different subjects, "Oh that is one of the great things about homeschooling...", which was nice to hear.

Amanadoo
03-28-2012, 09:06 PM
Being in the military you very rarely see the same doc twice...so...I give rats butt what a doc thinks about homeschooling...I can't trust that they know what is best for my child because they don't know me or my child...SO...call me cynical but I just don't have that trusting relationship with doctors like some do.

LOL I was just saying to The Huz "haha, civilians and their 'relationships' with doctors" (which I envy a little) but I totally ditto.

BeckyG
03-28-2012, 11:21 PM
Our pediatrician is pretty cool and takes it all in stride. She'd seen Ethan the 5-6 times in 3 months leading up to us pulling him out of school, and understood that he was getting sick too much, and stressed somehow. She also referred him for therapy when I mentioned I thought he might have some sensory issues. She listens to what I have to say, and I really appreciate that!

Rainefox
03-29-2012, 12:10 AM
Our doctor is our family doctor. When we first told him that we were homeschooling he actually made a disgusted face at us! He said in an incredulous tone "WHY would you do that?" So, I told him. I think he was a bit defensive since I happen to know he had five kids in the same public school system we refused to consider enrolling our kid in.

Fast forward a bit. I knew that the doctor and the staff thought we were nuts and that the kids would not learn anything. They probably debated notifying CPS, but since they know Dh is a case manager with the county human services they knew it would do little good. Good thing, since there are actually a few other renegade homeschoolers in the county offices.

We are homeschoolers of the classical persuasion, so Latin is something we study. Well, I just thought sitting in the little cubicle with the door open waiting for dear doctor to arrive to do our checkup was a great time to practice our Latin.....with my then seven and four year olds. Guess what? Now the comments are directed toward "How can you stand to be at home all the time" rather than "Why in the world would you want to homeschool?". Now when dd uses a particularly big word the staff or the doctor just smile and say "Well, she IS homeschooled, you know".

My next job is to teach them to understand that an adult can be fulfilled by being an at-home parent........even the doctor's wife with the five kids works full time. <sigh>

JinxieFox
03-29-2012, 03:48 AM
Being in the military you very rarely see the same doc twice...so...I give rats butt what a doc thinks about homeschooling...I can't trust that they know what is best for my child because they don't know me or my child...SO...call me cynical but I just don't have that trusting relationship with doctors like some do.


LOL I was just saying to The Huz "haha, civilians and their 'relationships' with doctors" (which I envy a little) but I totally ditto.

This and this. I can't wait until next year, when hubby's enlistment ends and we can actually find a family pediatrician. I have lovely memories of the pediatrician my father took us to for yearly check-ups, and when we were sick. :)

Right now, I have no idea who my son sees at his dad's base. I would only take him to the base clinic here if he was sick, since he's his dad's dependent. But I've never had a problem with military pediatricians/family doctors in the past with regard to homeschooling. They just smile and nod.

Care
03-29-2012, 08:11 AM
I've yet to broach the subject with our pediatrician. However, when asking for suggestions on how to handle Monkey's... emotional overexcitability, I was told flat out that parents diagnose their kids too much, medicate for everything, and oh, by the way, the local school district doesn't accelerate, so if Monkey is really as smart as I say (yeah, I'm lying doc, whatever), then I'll need to accelerate him at home - apparently the notion of homeschooling didn't even blip the radar. This should be fun in the fall.

Not like I don't have a whole host of issues with this pediatrician anyway, though, that leads to a vaguely hostile relationship to begin with... when Monkey was born, this ped was our only real option.

inmom
03-29-2012, 08:46 AM
There's a benefit to living in a state whose schools are at the bottom of the barrel. No one criticizes your decision to homeschool.

Love that!

We see a GP on a very rare occasion. The staff there has been generally supportive. Honestly, though, I wouldn't care one way or the other.

dbmamaz
03-29-2012, 09:17 AM
when Monkey was born, this ped was our only real option.[/SIZE]
That doesnt mean you cant change now.



My next job is to teach them to understand that an adult can be fulfilled by being an at-home parent........even the doctor's wife with the five kids works full time. <sigh>
Rainefox, careful there . .. now YOU are being judgemental. My mom NEEDED to be at work, for her sanity. She never liked being around kids much and still doesnt. Every woman should have the right to determine what is right for them and their family. Just because YOU want to stay home doesnt mean everyone should.

dbmamaz
03-29-2012, 09:20 AM
when Monkey was born, this ped was our only real option.[/SIZE]
That doesnt mean you cant change now.



My next job is to teach them to understand that an adult can be fulfilled by being an at-home parent........even the doctor's wife with the five kids works full time. <sigh>
Rainefox, careful there . .. now YOU are being judgemental. My mom NEEDED to be at work, for her sanity. She never liked being around kids much and still doesnt. Every woman should have the right to determine what is right for them and their family. Just because YOU want to stay home doesnt mean everyone should.

speech mom
03-29-2012, 10:12 AM
When I told our pediatrician, he said everything they have learned so far they learned at home, so how will this be any different?
He does find it funny to ask the kids if they like their teacher.
The only odd thing is that at every visit he asks them about their dance classes and how much they play outside and exercise. He has said that since they aren't in school with recess and PE classes I have to work harder to make sure they are healthy.

Jeni
03-29-2012, 12:52 PM
This is a really timely post for me. I just posted a topic that began at the pediatrician today. After dd told the doctor she didn't really like homeschooling, the first response was, "do you want to be with other kids?" "Yeah" "See mom, she wants to be around other kids..." Uh okay. It was one of those times when you think about what to say when it's way too late. If I had been on the ball I could have pointed out that dd takes class every week, she's in 4H, Girl Scouts, and Soccer. She's around kids almost every day in a group/class setting. We don't just sit at home and do nothing.

I would hate to switch, but every time I go in you can tell the docs disapproval.

Airen
03-29-2012, 01:05 PM
I can't remember the last time DS saw a ped... two years ago? That dr blinked and then moved on. It's not common there, but not unheard of either. Around here? Yeah... the town doesn't like us LOL But I don't care what my ped would think of my choice. Get my kid better, and we'll go our separate ways...

Sionnon
03-29-2012, 01:56 PM
So far our pediatrician is fine with it. I am not sure she is supportive or not, she just does her job. She asks the boys how their school is going and engages them in conversation.

farrarwilliams
03-29-2012, 02:32 PM
I guess it is sort of important to me. I mean, if my kids were in school, there would be a lot of outside people with some level of training laying eyes on them in terms of psychological and learning issues. Since we homeschool, it's just me and people I know. I feel like the ped. is the expert we can turn to if there are those kinds of issues. If they weren't at least somewhat supportive of homeschooling, that would be a problem for me and an aspect of their service that I couldn't use.

Rainefox
03-29-2012, 07:19 PM
That doesnt mean you cant change now.



Rainefox, careful there . .. now YOU are being judgemental. My mom NEEDED to be at work, for her sanity. She never liked being around kids much and still doesnt. Every woman should have the right to determine what is right for them and their family. Just because YOU want to stay home doesnt mean everyone should.

No, but they are assuming that NO ONE could possibly find fulfillment at home. Like I must be some kind of crazy. They say things like "Don't you miss being around people?" What? Am I around zombies or something? Or "I could never depend on my husband for every little thing", and I'm thinking "That's too bad, then" or on a bad day I think "Personally I don't find clerical work in a doctor's office all that fulfilling, but hey, I guess you do".
Even after the kids are grown and gone I have no plans to go back to wage slavery. There are a lot of really interesting things I'd love to do if I didn't have kids to teach and none of them involve filling out an employment application.

I mentioned the doctor's wife because really, if I had that kind of income from Dh and my kids were gone all day I sure wouldn't be out working a crap job because I certainly wouldn't need the money! I know I could find something a lot more interesting to do! I don't really care what THEY do, I would just like to be treated as though I'm not strange.

opheliag
03-29-2012, 08:08 PM
I don't know if I've ever mentioned homeschooling to our pediatrician. The kids might have, but, if they did, she never criticized or said anything negative (I would remember that). I know it came up at the optometrist because he kept asking if my oldest was having problems seeing the board at school. He went on a rant about how horrible the public schools were around us, and, if he had kids nowadays, he would have homeschooled too. We were there for almost three hours because he wanted to show my kids all of his equipment and teach them how to use it. He figured they would be interested! When my oldest son broke his arm, he told the xray technician who then took him on a "field trip" and showed him the equipment and computers that they used. The guy putting on his cast also took extra time talking to my son about everything! Always nice to have positive experiences!

laq997
03-30-2012, 03:35 PM
my ped and i became friends over it. she agrees that even though we have 'top rated' schools they are stifling. she loves that we have a world view in our homeschool and is SO for it. sometimes my daughter tells me she thinks the ped 'pushes' her a bit hard to accomplish even more then she does (which is funny because my dd is 'crazy motivated') .. yesterday my ped literally STOPED in her tracks as she was leaving the office, when i causally mentioned a college visit coming up to discus with my daughter college options! they talked for 15 minutes (sorry everyone who was waiting in her super busy office) ... and it ended with her ped telling her she would talk to a patient of her who goes to a college my daughter is interested in and see if she could set up a time for them to talk!
--
she is WAY on board with it. if she wasn't i'd probably look for a diff dr.

jazz
03-30-2012, 09:45 PM
We see a family practitioner, which is nice. The kids have their appointments, then they play in the waiting room while I have mine. She always asks how it's going, sports and exercise they're involved in (and reminds them about safety things for those, like "do you wear a helmet when you go skiing?"). The slightly funny I think she asked this time, when the kids weren't there, was "Are you getting enough time just for you? How is your self-care?" I appreciate that, actually. She knows that I had troubles with PPD after my youngest was born, and anxiety-related issues when my mother died. She and I talked about how it is a valid medical concern that I get enough exercise and sleep. It just brings it more front-of-mind for me, rather than self-care getting pushed to the background constantly because I'm so busy.

MrsLOLcat
03-30-2012, 10:19 PM
Our ped loves it. But she loves my kids anyway... gives them stuffed Ebola viruses for fun ;)

Numericmama
03-30-2012, 11:08 PM
Well, I don't know for sure whether our pede is for or against homeschooling, I am so confident that I am sure shr knows she would be stupid to make a dig. But an important thing for me is that she is a partner.

I needed her to double check my opinion on the visual stuff for developmental purposes. And I want her to check their back every year for scholosis.

03-31-2012, 10:19 PM
I don't think it's ever come up, but honestly, we aren't there all that often, and when we are it is usually because they are sick and we are addressing that vs. a well visit where they might ask more schooly questions, I guess, like what grade they are in and all that.

My guess would be that most docs in the practice we go to would be ok with it but if they weren't I wouldn't think much of it unless they were totally rude or said something super ignorant. In that case, I might avoid that particular doc and request an appointment with one of the other ones.

jar7709
03-31-2012, 11:01 PM
I love our ped. The kids have been with her from babyhood and long before homeschooling was even on our radar. I got lucky that she totally understands when and how homeschooling can be the right choice for a child and family. She saw the effect the PS was having on DS during that awful kindergarten experience and sees how he he is thriving now, so she is on board.

mratts
04-01-2012, 12:13 PM
There's a benefit to living in a state whose schools are at the bottom of the barrel. No one criticizes your decision to homeschool. I still have people question my sanity, but few who criticize. I never thought about the fact that being in Mississippi probably gives me an advantage there, but I'm sure you're right!


She saw the effect the PS was having on DS during that awful kindergarten experience and sees how he he is thriving now, so she is on board. This, exactly. Our Ped has been with us through everything, including the awful semester at PS. But she also sees several other HSers and so she was prepared before we started.

lakshmi
04-02-2012, 01:32 AM
Our pediatrician was not supportive at all. I found her to be distasteful. But she is the one that diagnosed my kid with cancer so i forgive her but only slightly.