View Full Version : She broke my heart this morning

03-06-2012, 10:56 AM
I know taking her out of school was the right thing to do. She had such a wonderful school experience in VA, an she was constantly in trouble here for all the the things they loved about her in VA...asking questions, entusiasm and excitement, and things like that. She didn't fit in here, and the bullying that started with the teachers gave permission for it to the kids. I pulled her out when they started tripping her in the hall and shoving her into walls.

BUT, when she told me that she didn't want to do any schoolwork this morning, I explained to her that every day we take off means one more day that she is going to have to do after the other kids get out of school for the summer (district has a # of days requirement), and I didn't want to do that to her, I wanted her to be able to go out and play. her response was, I don't want to, I don't have any friends, and no one likes me anyhow.

It is times like this that I really hate the military lifestyle. We didn't have a choice on moving here, we don't have a choice on how long we are going to be here, and it has been a nightmare for our child.

Sorry folks, I just needed to cry on someone's shoulder.

03-06-2012, 11:03 AM
:-( That is sad!
My (military) kids say stuff like that too, I'm being told all the time from my 4 year old that "this is NOT my home, take me HOME", and they talk about missing their friends. You aren't alone!
Can you sign her up for classes at CYS to meet more kids, or bring her by the youth center to meet people?

03-06-2012, 11:21 AM
We are stuck at Westover ARB. There is NO youth center, almost no services at all. We don't even have a commissary here :( The USO is about it, and all they really do activity wise is a free dinner on monday nights. Part of the problem is, because of the situation at the school before I pulled her out, she doesn't have friends on base, and all her dance friends live quite a ways away (her dance school is over a half hour away). I have been trying to get her in scouts since we moved--even went through everything to become a leader, but have had no assistance from the council. I am at a loss for what to do at this point. I was planning on hooking up with a homeschool group, but the car was wrecked, so there is no transportation for us during the day right now.

I really sound whiny today.

03-06-2012, 12:15 PM
It's okay to whine sometimes, we all need to. You are having an especially hard time of it right now, and I'm so sorry! I wish I had some good advice but I don't. Just well wishes and hopes for better days to come!

03-06-2012, 01:16 PM
Thanks :) I know tomorrow will be better, and I think since my husband is going to be TDY wednesday through friday, we will get out of the house and go do something...maybe go to a museum or the movies or something. I think that will help both of our moods.

03-06-2012, 01:51 PM
Summer will be a perfect time to get together with those further away dance friends, right?
Maybe that's something to look forward to and motivate her to work towards having the same summer break as them.

03-06-2012, 04:56 PM
It does suck. My ex was part of Westover when he was in the Reserves (between his active duty times). Yes, Westover has *nothing*, and Hanscom is too far away for you to really make use of the Youth Center. I lived in Massachusetts (grew up on the south shore, then lived up in Springfield) long before I had my son, so I know nothing about the homeschooling community out there.

Having been married to the military for... hm, 2 husbands and 19 years, I know that where you move can be so very hit-or-miss.

Hugs to you.

Maybe go to Springfield one day and look at the Dr. Seuss statues there while your hubby is TDY. If you're living in Chicopee proper, I know it's a fairly spread-out place. Also, don't worry too much about the # of days required by the district. Maybe you can relax your schooling a bit to cater to your daughter's interests for a while, or at least in one subject. That might help keep her love of learning strong. :)

03-06-2012, 06:38 PM
Thursday is supposed to be a nice day, sunny and in the 60s--The Dr Seuss garden sounds like a great idea! Thank you!

03-06-2012, 09:10 PM
just a virtual hug from me. I can't imagine being a kid and having to change schools frequently moving around,etc. I think HSing will afford you guys some wonderful opportunities, and in time she'll gain friends. It must be so hard for her right now, looking ahead while having those awful memories of school still clinging to her. I say focus on the FUN right now, and jsut be creative with your record keeping so you don't have to tack days on :D

03-07-2012, 02:24 AM
Oh shoot- that is a cruddy place to be stationed! Sounds like you have a good plan in place to get out of the house, I hope y'all start feeling better with a little sunshine.

03-07-2012, 11:44 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is feeling lonely. Have you found a homeschool group in the area? There might be an inclusive one in the Northampton area. I wish you were at Hanscom--there are lots of secular homeschoolers in the Boston area and more activities to join than any one family could find the time for. And we're 20 minutes from Hanscom... :)

With any luck you won't be at Westover for long and the next place will be better.

03-07-2012, 12:46 PM
*I* wish we were at Hanscom! This place is a nightmare :) I haven't hooked up with the groups yet as we just started homeschooling in January and had the car wreck at the begining of february. I know I need to do that, but I need transportation first. We are supposed to be here for 3-5 years, but I think my husband is going to be pushing to move as soon as he can. He is currently doing 2 jobs as they don't have a G4 so he is doing that line officer job as well as his warrant officer proberty book officer job. The General may love him, but this is a bad posting for us. (He is Active with the Army Reserve, but this brigade is located on the ARG)

03-09-2012, 09:57 AM
sorry you are in a rough patch! I find it very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at times like these, but it's there and it will shine soon! I know there was a 4-6 month adjustment before my kids stopped comparing me to school, talking about their school, comparing how things are done, making me second guess my call to pull them out. My son was HAPPY to be not in school, because it was a horrid scene for him, but my daughter missed it a lot. It's been a year now since I pulled my kids out and they are JUST NOW getting their groove with homeschooling and JUST NOW wanting to comply (hoping I'm not jinxing myself by sharing!) with school work. We had to take a lot of time off during this first year, but I did it in unschooling type ways on the days the kids weren't interested. Field trips, games, strewing new things about, etc. NOW a year later they don't protest text books or worksheets as much. If you just pulled her out, I'm going to venture to assume (feel free to disagree with me) that you are still very much in a transition period and she may need some deschooling time.

03-09-2012, 10:21 AM
Yes, it is a big transition--today she is trying to convince me that she should clean her bedroom rather than do schoolwork, and is currently in the bathroom with her phonics so she "doesn't waste time." Some days she really wants to work, others, not so much. We are still trying to find the best space for her to work also. We were working at the dining room table, but she now has my mom's antique child's rolltop desk (just like Kit's from American Girl!). That seems to help her focus a bit more, but not so much this week....and I am one of those anal retentive types that wants a schedule and wants to stick to it! Trying to hit a compromise between out styles is a learning experience for both of us.

03-09-2012, 02:51 PM
Oh yeah, can I relate to that! I want to zip thru the easy peasy stuff, my kids laggggggggg on that. The harder stuff that takes more time, they zip thru and I don't feel they are working hard enough. I'm anal retentive (in some areas) and way relaxed in others. My kids are self learners, but easily can spend a day watching TV or playing computer games IF I LET THEM! Oh the joys!

It's early for you (and me really) but I know that transition takes time and honestly FOR ME (not implying this is the same with you) I had to deschool almost more so then my kids did. I had to get the notion that this much work must be accomplished each day out of my head. I had to realize that A LOT gets accomplished on somedays and nothing on others and sometimes they learn the most on those nothing days because thier minds get to absorb what we went over the day before, week before, month before, etc...and so it all balances out in the end.

03-19-2012, 07:36 PM
I grew up in Chicopee - SUPER close to Westover AFB. There are neat things to do up in Northampton and Amherst and some mountains and trails further up north in some parks.

Needless to say though, since I no longer live there, Chicopee and the Springfield metro area itself isn't super exciting. Despite my parents still living there, I stayed in Buffalo after moving here which in certain areas has vibrant city living that is a big help to our homeschooling.