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ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 02:01 PM
This is going to be tl/dr, sorry.

Some of you I don't know at all and some of you I think I know pretty well. I've been around the forums a while. I'm usually pretty sweet but I've had my share of dust-ups on PMS-y type days. I've been struggling with a suspected chronic illness since Zack turned 4. Before it mowed me down, I was very active. I took Zack everywhere. We'd pack up the car and leave town to explore a new place every week. We very seldom stayed home and we both loved it that way. Then one day in my taekwondo class, I fainted and my life has never been the same.

I just had the suspected diagnosis confirmed about a month ago after some pretty grueling tests. It's a chronic autonomic illness with no cure and no definitive treatment. I'm doing everything I can to feel better and nothing is working. When I stand, my heart rate pops up into the 120s and my blood pressure plummets. Activities like standing in line, browsing in a shop, attending an outdoor festival or traveling make me very, very ill to the point of fainting. I'm exhausted most of the time because of the rate my body expends energy. My balance is affected so long trips of any kind give me motion sickness. I can still manage the house and I'm not bedbound but I save most of my effort for cleaning, cooking and homeschooling.

What brings me to tears on an almost-daily basis is hearing about other homeschoolers and the field trips and adventures they're able to take with their children. I want that so much for Zack. I want more than anything to be able to drive him into St. Louis and spend the day at the Zoo or the Science Center or the City Museum. Hell, I'd love to just be able to take him places around our town! And my sweet, patient child will hear about homeschooling days and special events and run to me with his eyes sparkling with excitement and before I can even say anything, he pats my arm and assures me "It's okay, mom. I know you don't feel like it."

The one time I got angry at myself and said "This is stupid, I'm doing this," and tried to get him to St. Louis, it was a nightmare. I passed out at the venue, had to do some fast talking to keep the staff from calling an ambulance and was only able to get Zack back home by pulling off to the side of the road every 15 minutes and lying flat for a while. It was awful knowing I was responsible for his safety and I was nearly incapacitated. I haven't tried that again. And before anyone asks, I don't really have any close homeschooling moms who are willing to take Zack along on trips. There's something about a chronic illness that makes it hard to sustain a friendship. God knows I've tried. But when I get invited for coffee or a meal or a shopping trip and I have to keep saying "No," even the most patient person will give up after a while.

I am blessed with the most wonderful husband in the world. He works long, physically-grueling days and he will still stop by the grocery store on my bad days and he makes sure he gets Zack out of the house every day, no matter how tired he feels. He takes two weeks of vacation every year and he and Zack go on an adventure. They have a lot of fun planning their trip. What they don't know is that I spend my time at home sobbing because I want to be with them. I don't want to be missing out on those adventures and that time with my boys. I feel like half a mom and half a wife and a failure at everything. I know I can't help having a chronic illness but it's so unbelievably unfair that I could travel with Zack before he even remembers it. All he remembers is a tired mom who never feels like doing anything. My poor kid.

I just wonder if I should even be homeschooling. Honest to god, I think he'd have a richer experience in school instead of being stuck in the house with me every day. We do our lessons outside when it's nice and we do nature study in the backyard, but there is SO MUCH MORE I could be doing with him if I were healthy. I just feel sorry for myself, I guess. And maybe I need some reassurance that I'm not the only homeschooling mom in a situation like this. And if I am the only homeschooling mom in a situation like this, then I guess I need to know that I'm not damaging my sweet boy for life.

Ugh. Self-pity time over.

lakshmi
03-05-2012, 02:09 PM
Ginny:
{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}

I just heard about this condition on tv about two days ago! I am serious!

Honestly, I can't say about whether or not school would be better, BUT I can say that not having much money would be a problem similar to yours. Not being able to go anywhere etc.

I'd say, that you could look into hiring a college student for a nanny/tutor. You need to do the best that you can do. And you are the only one who can decide that.

But, know that as long as you're doing the best that you can, that is all that you can do. If you decide that what you can do isn't the best for him. Then you will have to change it.

No worries.

christineoc
03-05-2012, 02:20 PM
I have absolutely no advice. I'm just so sorry. And so admiring of what you've already done/are doing despite all this.

Laina
03-05-2012, 02:24 PM
I'm so sorry. I wish I lived nearby--I would grab him for everything we do! Could you put an email out to some local homeschooling groups explaining your situation? Maybe some people will offer to bring him along for different events. It sounds like he is a well-loved child having a great education despite your limitations.

skrink
03-05-2012, 02:41 PM
Hey, Ginny. BIG HUGS from here, too. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and your lifestyle changes. I hesitate to share because I don't know much about your specific situation, but I do know a little bit about limitations. I have a number of things going on that make it hard to do what I think I need to be doing for my daughter. Right now I am struggling with panic disorder. It's been an issue all my life, really, but recent events have converged to make it a huge part of daily existence. We're missing out on a lot of opportunities because of it, and I've been beating myself up over that. Like you, I worry about my dd looking back and remembering me always sick, or upset, or unable to get on with it. I don't want that to be how she thinks of me. Dh and I had this conversation just in the last few days. He reminded me of how much I do for dd, even now, and that I am always available to her. I have found good resources online, we have a house full of books and music and games and conversation, and much of that is my doing. She's a smart, happy and compassionate girl so obviously I can't be doing too badly. I've been trying to hang on to that thought. Just because you're not meeting your ideal doesn't mean that you aren't giving Zack a full and rich life.

hockeymom
03-05-2012, 02:47 PM
I *so* wish I could offer real help, but all I can do is extend virtual ((hugs)). There's an outpouring of support here for you today, that's for sure. It's too bad we live so far away; you can bet we'd offer to take Zack adventuring with us. It sounds like you have an amazing boy.

Never forget for a moment how fortunate he is to have such a loving mama. YOU are way more important than any field trip! (( ))

Cafdog
03-05-2012, 02:49 PM
No advice. Just hugs and (virtual support). I am so sorry you have to go through this, but you are a real trooper!

raesrose
03-05-2012, 03:04 PM
Oh hugs! I feel the exact same way sometimes. I have a panic disorder like skrink, and I also have fibromyalgia, which means some days I'm fine, others I can't move. It makes it really hard to plan things with other people because I never know how I'm going to feel. I sympathize with your feelings completely. I wish I could take my ds more places and do more things and I know I have to sometimes settle for being the sweet mom that he loves, who reads to him and gives in a bit too much, who tries in other ways to make up for his life being somewhat 'smaller' because of me. In the end, I think, as they grow up and look back at everything we did, with our challenges, they will be inspired by us, not embittered. Take heart! love and hugs!

Airen
03-05-2012, 03:17 PM
Aww... hugs to you all!! Ginny, I'd say just look at your boy and smile, because he sounds like a doll. I can't imagine how hard it is to see all this fun stuff and not be able to participate. I can't even begin to imagine how hard and heartbreaking it is... But homescholling is so much more than the field trips. It's the connection to your child and selfishly watching all those "ah-ha" moments they have in lessons. It's knowing you have so much more quality time with that little person and your relationship is so much the better for it.

If you really don't feel physically up to it, then don't hurt yourself. But don't sell yourself short either. You love him and are doing your best for him. You have an amazing partner with you every step of the way. In the end, that's what really matters.

theWeedyRoad
03-05-2012, 03:21 PM
(((hugs))) no real advice from me.

Does it help any if I tell you that, 2 years in a row, the only fieldtrip my kids went on in ps was a walk to the fire department (100 feet away)? There weren't any real fieldtrips at all.

Amanadoo
03-05-2012, 03:56 PM
(((((((Ginny))))))))

Disease should suck it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Shaunam
03-05-2012, 03:59 PM
I have fibromyalgia and my symptoms don't sound anywhere near as severe as yours, but I do experience the lack of energy, plus some pain. Sometimes I will go several months with very few symptoms and then I will have several weeks where I can barely walk. I'm very close to breaking down and using the motorized scooters at the grocery store, which I really don't want to have to do....I'm only 28 years old!

Do you have Potts or something similar? That's what my mom has and you sound identical to her. I'm not sure what all she does to manage her symptoms though. She has her good an bad days. Some days she's out riding her motorcycle, others she can barely get out of the house.

Anyway, I get what you mean about wanting to do so much more. I try really, really hard but a lot of the time it just doesn't happen. Zoo trips have to be on very, VERY good days. We mostly just stick to small, local outings. We have a small children's science museum just a few minutes away and I got a membership there. It's not super interesting after 10 trips, but at least it's better than sitting in the house, plus I'm able to just park myself on a stool and let DS run around. I have a gazillion things in my calendar...we'll see how many we make it to! I'm attempting small things like the craft centers they have at home depot once a month. I just hope DS doesn't grow up feeling like he missed out on something.

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
03-05-2012, 04:14 PM
Sending big, ginormous hugs to you, Ginny. I sometimes get to thinking about all the activities my kids don't get to do because of the costs--music lessons, art classes, summer camps, field trips that have expensive admissions. I try to remind myself of all the things they do get and that their most important needs--emotional, physical, and academic--needs are being met. They're happy and loved, as I'm sure your son is too. That's more important than field trips. :)

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 04:44 PM
Everyone, thank you! I don't even know where to start responding to all of your wonderful messages...you've touched my heart and gave me some encouragement on what's been a very bad day in a very bad week. At heart I do know that Zack is happy and he's thriving at home; I just need to learn to content myself with what I'm able to do instead of focusing on all the things I can no longer do. I'll do my best to respond personally as I can; for now our day is over and I'm going to go lie down. :)

Batgirl
03-05-2012, 07:17 PM
Ginny, I came in on this thread a little late, but it sounds like you are doing the best you can, and that your son knows it. I hope your week gets better!

dragonfly
03-05-2012, 07:38 PM
I share a lot of your concerns about my own son, and I'm not faced with the difficulties you are! I'm constantly wondering if he's missing out by staying at home with me.

The truth is, yeah, he *is* missing a lot of stuff by not going to a regular school. BUT, if he did go elsewhere, he'd be missing out on a lot that he IS getting by being home-schooled. Try to focus on what you *are* giving him, rather than what you are not.

It doesn't matter what path we take, there is always an infinite number that we are not...that doesn't mean that the one we're on is wrong, just different. Enjoy it for what it is! You can always take a different path if the one you are on is no longer right for you.

Okay, so that got kind of sappy. Sorry. :)

(((hugs)))

mratts
03-05-2012, 08:30 PM
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having health issues! It sounds like what Greg Page of the Wiggles dealt with - dysautonomia (http://www.dynakids.org). He's actually recovered enough to rejoin the Wiggles this year, though when he initially sought treatment he was told he had 7 years to live! It is a misunderstood illness and, like Celiac Disease in the past, can have a long fight for diagnosis, and then the doctors don't even know what to do with it! If that's not what you're dealing with, ignore the link. :)

As far as if you're doing right by your son, I'm sure it's very stressful to not be able to do the things you want to do with him, but think of all the things you are! How many kids in public school are sitting in the "back yard" doing their work? How many of those students have a tailor-made curriculum? How many of them are able to follow a whim of a subject and forget about their math for a day just to dive into that subject? A one-to-one student-teacher ratio? I don't think any of us are thinking that we're doing this hs thing 100% right. There's no such thing. And there's always more we could be doing. But what would we be giving up to change what we've got going?

I hope you find your peace with this. And if you find that you need to make a change in your schooling situation, be confident that your son, who comes from a very loving home, has a big advantage over so many with just that.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 08:46 PM
Ginny:
{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}

I just heard about this condition on tv about two days ago! I am serious!

I'd say, that you could look into hiring a college student for a nanny/tutor. You need to do the best that you can do. And you are the only one who can decide that.

I've been hearing a lot more about dysautonomia lately, too! Wow, I'm trendy and didn't know it. My one consolation is my sister-in-law who is single, a school teacher and over the moon crazy about Zack. She has a chunk of time free in the summer and is always up for a trip and Zack is finally reaching the age where he can stay overnight with her. They're planning a St. Louis adventure for later this summer. I hate that I can't be the one taking him, but it's good for him to have experiences without mom, too. Thanks for the encouragement.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 08:49 PM
I'm so sorry. I wish I lived nearby--I would grab him for everything we do! Could you put an email out to some local homeschooling groups explaining your situation? Maybe some people will offer to bring him along for different events. It sounds like he is a well-loved child having a great education despite your limitations.

Thanks, Laina! I would love more than anything for Zack to be able to tag along with another homeschooling family. There is a group in St. Charles that does fun field trips and events, but they are too far for me to drive comfortably and I've not gotten to know anyone in the group. The local group is Catholic and their trips are to the St. Louis Cathedral for mass or to the Black Madonna Grotto.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 08:53 PM
Hey, Ginny. BIG HUGS from here, too.

Dh and I had this conversation just in the last few days. He reminded me of how much I do for dd, even now, and that I am always available to her. I have found good resources online, we have a house full of books and music and games and conversation, and much of that is my doing. She's a smart, happy and compassionate girl so obviously I can't be doing too badly. I've been trying to hang on to that thought. Just because you're not meeting your ideal doesn't mean that you aren't giving Zack a full and rich life.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, skrink, and I do sympathize. And thanks for the reminder that Zack is probably benefiting from our lifestyle more than I realize. My husband took him to the Science Center last summer and Zack hated it! He has sensory issues and it was too much for him and they left after 30 minutes. So maybe he's not missing out on as much as I think. And like your daughter, Zack is happy and sweet and compassionate and smart. Maybe he's compassionate because he has to be? I don't know.

Hope things get better for you soon.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 08:57 PM
I sympathize with your feelings completely. I wish I could take my ds more places and do more things and I know I have to sometimes settle for being the sweet mom that he loves, who reads to him and gives in a bit too much, who tries in other ways to make up for his life being somewhat 'smaller' because of me. In the end, I think, as they grow up and look back at everything we did, with our challenges, they will be inspired by us, not embittered. Take heart! love and hugs!

Oh, thank you for this. Zack and I do spend a lot of cuddle time and we have wonderful long conversations and we read together and watch his favorite old shows like Kipper and Blue's Clues together when he's feeling nostalgic. I'm also a little bit of a pushover and we've been known to blow off homeschooling on my rare good days when I feel like going to the park or out for ice cream or something. I really think a happy life is comprised of small moments like that rather than the big peak moments, so I guess we're not doing so bad by our kids after all.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 09:00 PM
If you really don't feel physically up to it, then don't hurt yourself. But don't sell yourself short either. You love him and are doing your best for him. You have an amazing partner with you every step of the way. In the end, that's what really matters.

You are so right and I need to remember that. I have a great husband and a sweet son who love me and the three of us have a happy little life together. And I know he loves homeschooling. In ps, he'd be stuck inside of a brick box for most of the day so I'm not sure where I'm getting the idea that school would be better for him. Thanks for the encouragement!

KristinK
03-05-2012, 09:03 PM
oh goodness ginny, a big hug from me too.

I like what someone posted about remembering what he'd miss being IN school too. No matter what we choose they're going to miss something. I keep reminding myself of that as well. Focus on the good stuff.

and google the hell out of anything that might help with whatever you're suffering with!!! you never know, maybe there's some crazy little-known tip that will help. Strange things help people in all kinds of health-situations. I know sometimes Google just makes things worse with "what if" scenarios, but hopefull you'll stumble across something, somewhere...

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 09:04 PM
(((hugs))) no real advice from me.

Does it help any if I tell you that, 2 years in a row, the only fieldtrip my kids went on in ps was a walk to the fire department (100 feet away)? There weren't any real fieldtrips at all.

That actually helps a lot. Zack was in ps for four years and his field trips were apple picking at a local orchard (twice), pumpkin picking at a local farm (twice), a local florist and then a St. Louis Zoo trip which he hated vehemently. He really does get overwhelmed in the big venues so even if my dreams of spending the day at a museum or the zoo came true, it would probably blow up in my face.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 09:21 PM
Do you have Potts or something similar? That's what my mom has and you sound identical to her. I'm not sure what all she does to manage her symptoms though. She has her good an bad days. Some days she's out riding her motorcycle, others she can barely get out of the house.

Anyway, I get what you mean about wanting to do so much more. I try really, really hard but a lot of the time it just doesn't happen.

I do have POTS. I'm trying to manage with medication and dietary changes but I still have flares constantly. I also have weeks when I feel great and then I tend to overdo it and send myself into a flare again. I'm still learning balance.

I need to learn to be happy with small local outings. We live in a cute little town but outside of the park and the local history museum, there isn't a lot to do. Anything "big" is at least a 40 minute drive. But I like your idea of the Home Depot craft centers. I think Michaels also has kid craft sessions. As long as I can find a place to sit down I can usually handle something on that scale. Thanks for the ideas! And thanks for the sympathy. It means a lot.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 09:37 PM
Sending big, ginormous hugs to you, Ginny. I sometimes get to thinking about all the activities my kids don't get to do because of the costs--music lessons, art classes, summer camps, field trips that have expensive admissions. I try to remind myself of all the things they do get and that their most important needs--emotional, physical, and academic--needs are being met. They're happy and loved, as I'm sure your son is too. That's more important than field trips. :)

Thanks, I need to remember that!

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 09:43 PM
The truth is, yeah, he *is* missing a lot of stuff by not going to a regular school. BUT, if he did go elsewhere, he'd be missing out on a lot that he IS getting by being home-schooled. Try to focus on what you *are* giving him, rather than what you are not.

Very wise words! Thanks so much.

MrsLOLcat
03-05-2012, 09:43 PM
Coming in late here, but I just want to offer my hugs and sympathy as well. You're doing an awesome job, and I can't imagine that there is anyone out there (PS teachers included) who could do a better job of raising your kiddo. Hang in there and know that you're doing all you can and he knows that and that is what matters.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 10:02 PM
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having health issues! It sounds like what Greg Page of the Wiggles dealt with.

I don't think any of us are thinking that we're doing this hs thing 100% right. There's no such thing. And there's always more we could be doing. But what would we be giving up to change what we've got going?


Yes, I like to tell people I have the Wiggles disease! :) People can recover spontaneously from POTS, but women who develop it in midlife are less likely to recover. Honestly, if it doesn't get any worse, I'll be happy.

And you're right. For all the things we don't get to do, there are so many other things he's doing that a ps kid doesn't have the opportunity to do. At the heart of it, we're very fortunate.

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 10:07 PM
and google the hell out of anything that might help with whatever you're suffering with!!! you never know, maybe there's some crazy little-known tip that will help. Strange things help people in all kinds of health-situations. I know sometimes Google just makes things worse with "what if" scenarios, but hopefull you'll stumble across something, somewhere...

Thanks Kristin! There is a great forum that I belong to for people with dysautonomia. I lurk rather than post, but I've gotten some good information there. POTS is a diagnosis of exclusion so at first the doctors were like "You have IST, take this beta blocker" and when that didn't work it was, "You're depressed, take this SSRI" and when that didn't work they said, "You're perimenopausal, take these birth control pills." Passing out in the doctor's office after a tilt table test was the definitive diagnosis but there wasn't much my doctor could tell me other than "Increase your sodium and fluid intake, take it easy on warm days, avoid hot showers, take your time getting up, and exercise when you can." Any treatment is just trial and error and what works for one person doesn't work for another but the condition is becoming more mainstream and there's a lot of research happening, so who knows what's in the future? :)

ginnyjf
03-05-2012, 10:15 PM
Thank you Christine and hockeymom and Catdog and Amanadoo and Batman and MrsLOLCat and everyone else who was kind enough to read my whinging post and respond to me! I think I've gotten back to everyone, but if I missed you, I'm sorry! I'm feeling better emotionally tonight in part due to your encouragement and wisdom. Hugs all around! :)

Staysee34
03-05-2012, 11:12 PM
So sorry to be chiming in a little late.....HUGS for you Ginny! I happen to think (having read many, many of your posts lol) that you are doing a terrific job with Zach. He's a very lucky little boy and you needn't worry about doing him any disservice. I'm sorry you're having such a rotten week! I hope next week (or tomorrow even) is much better.

MarkInMD
03-05-2012, 11:35 PM
It's not quite the same, but maybe if I relate my mom's experience with my kids, it'll give you some idea that you're not the only one with a limiting condition who still makes it work.

My mom had been losing mobility for about 10 years since Hurricane was born. At the time, she was 56 (now she's 66). At first it was something like drop-foot, but eventually she wasn't able to walk without a walker, and finally when she broke both femurs in a fall in '06, she's been in a wheelchair or scooter ever since. Her condition wasn't diagnosed until just recently, when one of the best neurologists in the country at Johns Hopkins dx'ed her with an extremely slow-moving form of ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease.

So bear in mind that Hurricane was only 4 when her fall happened, and Tornado wasn't even 1 yet. They don't really know their grandma as someone who ever walked around or even stood up. But they don't even think twice about it. They love her and she loves them, and they're darn near inseparable some of the time, especially Tornado. Even though she doesn't have arm strength to cut food or hold anything that's more than a couple pounds, she's still able to engage with them, and they're extremely understanding of her limitations. They all work around them. The boys go up there every Wednesday for school, since she and my dad were both teachers, and they want to be a part of their grandkids' education, having been soured on the bureaucracy of public school by the time they retired.

Even though she's not the 24/7 parent like you are, I think what I want to express by sharing the story is that our kids aren't bothered by her condition. They don't hold it against her or wish for something more. I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's the case with your son. Maybe it will ease your mind to think about it that way. I hope so. Hang in there.

BethAnne
03-06-2012, 06:02 AM
I too have an autoimmune issue that limits the daily spoon count. I know that throws you so I would like you to google "spoon theory". It is a great way for you to look at your day and have your family and friends to understand your day. It is written by a person w/ Lupus but it is appropriate for all with autoimmune issues.
SO what do you do so save a spoon? Choices, choices, choices! I choose not to be the one responsible for house upkeep since I am responsible for a full time job as a teacher. When a family faces an illness like this it is a true test to a vow. It is dificult because "you don't look sick" (there is a group our there for your don't look sick was well).
If you can afford a weekly housekeeper to come in for a day then DO IT! My husband feels it is the best $100 spent each week in our budget--had to give up some things of course. Tiny loads of laundry so that you are not overwhelmed each time you unload the drier. Laundry is a passing walk through event every day by all in the family.
It give me much more energy to do the other things that make homeschool fun.
Some days school is done in my bed and they really enjoy the cuddle lesson time.
Also get on line and find a good group for support. Most autoimmune issues have online groups but be careful not to fall into the moaning and groaning part or indentify too much with their misery or you will be pulled down more. You may find alternitive treatments in those groups that will be able to help you. I hope you have an agressinve rheumy on board but be careful as they often drug you too much in an attempt to mask the illness rather than treat it. I have not treatment for my rare issue but symtom management over time has really increased by ability to stay active. I even returned to work two days a week, then rest up on one day before hitting school again. Yep, kiddos school year ends up being longer but they get lots of little break times.
Good luck and keep doing your homeschool as long as you can.
Oh on a side note: MANY are critical of the fact that when we have lesson time it is structured much like a classroom would be. Well, I do that because I know that life has lots of unexpected twist and I never know when they will be forced back to the classroom. I want them to be able to feel comfortable if they have to slide into that role some day.

Beth

Accidental Homeschooler
03-06-2012, 10:06 AM
Hi Ginny, It sounds like you are feeling better today. I have been thinking about you since I read your post yesterday. I keep coming back to how wonderful your son sounds. It sounds like he has empathy, patience and sensitivity. He will take those qualities into all his future relationships and that will be far more valuable than the memories of some fun field trips. It so easy for parents to focus on what they can't give their children, where they are falling short. I do that too, but the bottom line is what you are giving him, a loving secure home and the example of someone who isn't giving up despite huge difficulties. That is a gift and to me whether you continue to hs or try ps is far less important. Thank you for sharing your story and giving me some perspective and inspiration.

jessica14
03-06-2012, 10:27 AM
Ginny, sending you Big Hugs and wishing we lived closer to you so we could help out! No advice really, other than you are probably doing a great job. Now that you know what you have going on, you can move forward from there. It's awful not knowing. All the best!

JinxieFox
03-06-2012, 04:50 PM
I am very late to this (a $hitbomb was dropped on me yesterday and lasted for the past 24 hours). Can't do anything but give you *hugs* and let you know that I'm sending positive thoughts for you to make the best decision for everyone concerned. Homeschool or public school - it doesn't matter. You're still a great mom.

Pefa
03-06-2012, 05:24 PM
Hey Ginny, hope today is better. Your sweet boy will be fine, he'll have strengths you can't even imagine now because of living with such great parents. We're here for you emotionally, I wish we could be there physically too.

ginnyjf
03-07-2012, 04:17 PM
Staysee - Thanks so much for your kind words. As usual, after a self-pity session, I had a better day yesterday and was even able to take Zack to the riverfront park for an impromptu science lesson. I only lasted about 20 minutes, but it was a treat.

MarkinMD - I appreciate you sharing the story about your mother. She sounds like a beautiful person; one I would like to emulate! It's harder to be a parent with limitations, especially since I'm still a relatively young woman, but I figure Zack can either remember me as a mom who had problems but made the best of things or a mom who had problems and was angry and bitter. I know which one I'd prefer.

Beth-Anne - thanks so much for your thoughtful reply! I am very familiar with the "But You Don't Look Sick" forum and the Spoons theory. I do my best at prioritizing. I'm old-fashioned and I love keeping a cozy house for my boys so I do make that a priority. I tend to let other things slide and can be something of a hermit because I rarely accept outside invitations. It's all about learning my limitations and how to balance all the demands. At least I know that I actually have a real condition and it's not all in my head.

Julie, Jessica, JinxieFox and Pefa Thank you so much! You have no idea how much the emotional support helps when I hit a low point. This is the greatest forum out there.