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View Full Version : Finishing the year in public school. Yes or No?



JDR3
02-21-2012, 04:34 PM
Hi! My husband and I recently decided to homeschool our children. Our two oldest are currently attending the local public school. Our dd is in 5th grade and ds is in 3rd grade. We planned to have them finish the school year there and start hs in the fall. I am now wondering if we should just pull them out now.

Has anyone pulled their children out midyear and wished they had waited? or has anyone finished the year off in ps and wished they had pulled them out?

I realize we need to make the decision and hope it is the best choice but I would love to hear anyone's experience with this and what they might have done differently. Thank you.

raesrose
02-21-2012, 04:51 PM
All I can say is that I am very glad I pulled my son out in October. Our homeschooling decision was made because of diagnosed physical problems (like ADHD and Aspergers) and bullying issues and getting him out quickly was the obvious answer in our case. Your mileage may vary depending on the reasons you've decided to homeschool, how the kids are responding to the idea, etc. I wish you good luck and good times! And keep us posted. :D

hockeymom
02-21-2012, 04:53 PM
We pulled DS out mid-year 2 years ago and have never looked back. Once given the option of homeschooling, he wanted to start right away. In retrospect, I can't believe we waited so long.

Follow your heart. There is no one right or wrong decision. :)

bcnlvr
02-21-2012, 04:55 PM
I should have pulled ds10 out of the school during the spring semester but I waited "so he could finish the year". If I had to do it over again, I would have pulled him there and then. I did not make that mistake with ds7. I pulled him out in the middle of the semester. Best decision ever for us.

bcn

Kateroo
02-21-2012, 05:03 PM
I am waiting until the end of the year because my son really likes school. He's excited about homeschooling, but he loves his teacher and the negative aspects of ps haven't hit too hard yet. The nice part of waiting is all the prep time I'm getting. But, if he was having issues at school and that was my reason for homeschooling, I would pull him out now, no question about it.

farrarwilliams
02-21-2012, 05:17 PM
I would think a lot of it would depend on your reasons for homeschooling. Are they happy where they are? Is the school a rotten place for them socially or academically? Do they want to leave? Will your dd get something out of 5th grade "graduation" that might tip the balance?

I like the idea of pulling kids midyear, letting them deschool, letting everyone try some things out and take lots of field trips, spend time connecting with the homeschool community and making friends, have a relaxing summer, then "reset" in the fall and start full on with whatever curriculum you're going to use. But I really don't have this experience (we homeschooled from the get go) - so take that advice with a grain of salt. :)

Good luck no matter what you do.

CatInTheSun
02-21-2012, 05:17 PM
I would think it would depend a lot on WHY you decided to homeschool and how your kids feel about it. If it is a more philosophical move, but the kids are happy in ps right now, waiting might be best. If there are issues they are experiencing now in ps, there's no reason not to start homeschooling right now. There's going to be a learning curve, there's going to be adjustment, but as hockey mom said there's no single right/wrong answer.

FWIW, in our case I pulled them out mid-year from a VA, so not quite the same as pulling them out from ps, but the decision was based on at what point they were better off at home. One I pulled one month into the school year, the other I finished up the semester (because there was no harm and it gave me time to figure out what I wanted to do with her).

Avalon
02-21-2012, 06:47 PM
I decided to homeschool about half-way through dd's grade one year. I wanted to start right away, but my husband saw some value in finishing the year. Looking back, I don't think that the extra 3 or 4 months in the classroom did her one single bit of good, and whatever moral lesson my dh was trying to impart with his "finish what you start" philosophy was totally lost on a 6-year-old. On the other hand, it was an opportunity to demonstrate that I actually respect dh's opinion ;)

My advice is to pull them out whenever you're ready, unless there is some compelling reason to pull them out instantly.

dbmamaz
02-21-2012, 07:35 PM
I decided for sure in the spring and left my kids in school. I dont really regret it, simply because i like clean, orderly transitions. Well, also I was still driving my daughter around to 3 different schools as she still didnt have her license. My boys HATED school, but it became easier once they knew it wasnt forever. They told EVERYONE (i was kinda embarrassed about that) but it also made it easier for me to deal with school. Like I did a few reviews with my kindergartener for his end-of-year standardized test, and then decided I really didnt care if he couldnt say who Betsy Ross was or memorize the abstract definition of community. When my 7th grader was assigned another day of in-school detention, I asked if we could make it out-of-school instead. I think we spent the day reading fiction and studying for his upcoming test. I didnt care at all that it looked worse on his record, because we had no intention of going back.

There is no right answer.

coloradoalice
02-21-2012, 08:41 PM
I would think a lot of it would depend on your reasons for homeschooling. Are they happy where they are? Is the school a rotten place for them socially or academically? Do they want to leave? Will your dd get something out of 5th grade "graduation" that might tip the balance?

I like the idea of pulling kids midyear, letting them deschool, letting everyone try some things out and take lots of field trips, spend time connecting with the homeschool community and making friends, have a relaxing summer, then "reset" in the fall and start full on with whatever curriculum you're going to use. But I really don't have this experience (we homeschooled from the get go) - so take that advice with a grain of salt. :)

Good luck no matter what you do.

These are pretty much my thoughts!

lakshmi
02-21-2012, 10:06 PM
Farrar and Alice have sane thoughts. So I wll agree with them...

I on the other hand only have this to say....

Is anyone interested in starting a movement to say.....Transferred their kids to homeschool? Unless it is like Lou, a screaming match... can we peacefully transfer children around?

Just curious, I never had kids in school, so can't say anything about this personally.

theWeedyRoad
02-22-2012, 03:17 AM
I pulled my dd in October and my ds in Jan of the same school year. My only regret is that I ever sent them in the first place.

I agree that it depends on why you are doing it. For us, it started as academic, but it became clear quickly that the emotional recovery was the true heartbreak of the issue. Both of my kids have scars to prove they are ps 'survivors'.


Lakshami- I don't quite understand your question? Mine were pulled out peacefully- at that time I didn't quite realize what I was up against, so I wasn't angry (yet). Sadly, our ps is all about blame, so they weren't exactly commending my decision, dd's teacher was nearly in tears, and I felt like they thought I was an ignorant parent undertaking a monumental task, but whatever. No screaming or yelling.

JLeck
02-22-2012, 10:56 AM
I wish I had pulled them out when I first felt homeschooling was an option. It would have been better for DS for sure.

Miranda108
02-22-2012, 11:37 AM
The decision as to when to pull one's child out of school is very personal and dependent on how each individual child is doing and how ready the parent is to make the jump into homeschooling. Having done it both ways with my children, my preference lies in the immediate withdrawal from school. It worked best for us though my children have very different personalities.
There are many factors to consider and what is right for one child and family may not be right for another. Good luck! Regardless, you are looking forward to an incredibly exciting journey.

jess
02-22-2012, 03:12 PM
Farrar, as usual, expressed my opinion :)

If they're reasonably happy in school and there's no pressing reason to take them out now, wait for a more natural transition time.

If they're miserable, pull them now.

If they disagree, or you see a pressingly bad situation where they don't, then I guess it's a more difficult question!

lakshmi
02-22-2012, 06:43 PM
Weedy, sorry to be obtuse, I meant.....

could we start to change the language from PULLED out of school to TRANSFERRED to homeschool.

It seems to actually reflect most situations better than pulled. Some folks actually do quickly and forcibly remove their children from school. Replete with meetings and drama. But, to transfer is what actually happens most of the time. So why do we all use the word pull. To pull children from school SOUNDS violent even if it isn't.

It is just a language thing that I'd like to see changed.

farrarwilliams
02-22-2012, 07:18 PM
Huh. I never thought about that, Lakshmi. Hmm... I like the idea of stating it as leaving or "pulling" a child out because for many you're dropping out of the system or dropping out of formal schooling. But on the other hand, it implies you're leaving education and you're most certainly not. Not sure where I stand on that semantic question.

lakshmi
02-22-2012, 08:28 PM
I hadn't thought of it as dropping out, because so many folks who homeschool do use curriculum and do spend time in formal learning situations. So to me it just seems like you've transferred from one school to a different but better school. But I could see it as a rejection of the norm.

I think of pulling as in grabbing and pulling. When I am pulling something it is usually because it is heavy, or because I am forcibly moving it. Even leaving isn't the same as pulling. We pulled her out. Sounds like a cave rescue.

farrarwilliams
02-22-2012, 08:47 PM
But for some kids it is like a cave rescue! They're in horrible public school situations and they need someone to forcibly extract them. Maybe with dynamite! Metaphorically, that is. No one go all Columbine on any public schools now!

Then again, "transfer" makes it sound like another, equal educational option, which also seems desirable. Not really disagreeing, just thinking.

christineoc
02-22-2012, 09:16 PM
Last year, when DD was in 4th grade, we made the decision that we would homeschool for 5th grade. Once we made that decision, DD was very excited and the annoyances of her school became magnified for both of us. We finally left in March, and never regretted it for a moment. We had a great time studying whatever caught her fancy, going to the creek, etc., then started a bit more formally in the fall.

JDR3
02-23-2012, 01:49 PM
Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and views, and a few extra things to think about ;) After reading some of your posts and more discussion here at home, we plan to finish out the school year. We have many reasons for deciding to homeschool, but none of these reasons, for now, make us feel the need to pull them out immediately. Also the kids would like to participate in various school activities that are planned for the last three months of the year. I think the kids have a much more relaxed view of school now.
We are very excited about this path we are taking, knowing our children will get the education they deserve and want. We are entering this as openly as we can and plan to draw from a few different styles to see what will work best for each of them. I look forward to reading and learning more about everyone's experiences and becoming involved in the homeschool community.

In regards to pulling out vs. transferring; I think like most things it is all how an individual hears or interprets it. I believe I would use the term "pull out" regardless of where my child was going, be it homeschool, private school, traveling, etc. The other day I "pulled" the kids out of school early for a dentist appointment. My point is, I have a feeling most people will hear "homeschool" before they hear "pull out" or "transfer". That being said, I am a bit intrigued by the idea and may have to test it out.

lakshmi
02-23-2012, 05:29 PM
But for some kids it is like a cave rescue! They're in horrible public school situations and they need someone to forcibly extract them. Maybe with dynamite! Metaphorically, that is. No one go all Columbine on any public schools now!

Then again, "transfer" makes it sound like another, equal educational option, which also seems desirable. Not really disagreeing, just thinking.


In the original post Farrar I tried to indicate that. That pulling if it was indeed quick made sense. Like Lou's situation.


Last year, when DD was in 4th grade, we made the decision that we would homeschool for 5th grade. Once we made that decision, DD was very excited and the annoyances of her school became magnified for both of us. We finally left in March, and never regretted it for a moment. We had a great time studying whatever caught her fancy, going to the creek, etc., then started a bit more formally in the fall.

Sounds nice and also sounds like the kids were ready to go.

And JDR3 sounds like your kids wanna stay and hang, and can deal with it until the end of the year. So that sounds like it works too.

Agreed, that folks hear homeschool... BUT I am just wondering what transferred feels like. To cut back on the us and them.. it sort of makes them an us.

Like I said that I 've never had kids in school so ... I can't really say with experience.

mratts
02-23-2012, 07:05 PM
could we start to change the language from PULLED out of school to TRANSFERRED to homeschool.

It seems to actually reflect most situations better than pulled. Some folks actually do quickly and forcibly remove their children from school. Replete with meetings and drama. But, to transfer is what actually happens most of the time. So why do we all use the word pull. To pull children from school SOUNDS violent even if it isn't.

It is just a language thing that I'd like to see changed.

Just wanted to say - I pulled my son out of PS - it was a heated decision but one I'd make again. But I was also pulled out of a Catholic school when I was a kid - mid day in fact - and I started PS the next day. But I agree in that most situations would be better labeled transfers.

I don't regret my decision to remove my son mid-year, but I can say it would have been really nice to have had a few months to plan for homeschooling rather than suddenly have a kid at home and thinking "now what??"

farrarwilliams
02-23-2012, 07:14 PM
JDR3, I'm glad you managed to wade through our linguistic discussion. :)

Good luck with finishing the year.

theWeedyRoad
02-24-2012, 12:18 PM
Agreed, that folks hear homeschool... BUT I am just wondering what transferred feels like. To cut back on the us and them.. it sort of makes them an us.

Like I said that I 've never had kids in school so ... I can't really say with experience.

I think.. I agree with you in general.

But the word (for me) sugarcoats the reality. I didn't cause a scene for dd, dh and I had been kind, friendly, and helpful throughout. But the ps wasn't, just wanted to blame us and didn't seem to want to hear a better way of educating our daughter (easily implimented stuff here- I had spoken to a spec ed. facilitator from elsewhere first to get her take on it).

Even though it was peaceful, it WAS a middle finger experience. I DID pull my kids out, because the school system was so horrid. To say 'transfer' makes it sound like a lovely place but we were moving and couldn't use their facilities anymore.

I know what you mean about us and them.. but even the 'thems' (people with kids in ps) usually aren't blind to the problems there, and I think the population who is fed up is growing. 'Pulled' sounds powerful to me, 'transfer' sounds.. well... wimpy.

Does that make any sense? LOL. idk. But I'm at that point that I won't excuse anything ps does because (with the exception of the teachers) ps is not trying to educate kids like they should be anymore. I'm not about to protect their reputations regardless.

CatInTheSun
02-24-2012, 12:50 PM
On the linguistics: personally, I don't think of "pulled out" as being an us/them term. It is a commonly used term whenever we decided to change course, when the 'standard course' is to keep going. For example, you might pull your kid out of gymnastics or soccer. That doesn't (to me) imply that there was something WRONG with gymnastics/soccer or that you are now antagonistic towards those things, just that instead of continuing to re-enroll your kid, you decided to do something else that you felt would be a better fit. Like, "I pulled my kid out of soccer so he can start basketball." Now if you "yank" your kid out of an activity -- that implies you view that activity as some imminent negative experience that must be stopped.

As to the term "transfer" -- don't like it. LOL To me it sounds like you are just moving your child from one institution to another, or the homeschool image of a mom with her kids in little desks (school-at-home), which works form some families, but it not the "norm" of home schooling. It even sounds a little uppity, like, "Yes, I am transferring my children to a highly exclusive academy with an incredibly low student to teacher ratio, we call it 'Home'." LOL On the other hand, maybe I'm starting to like it. :D

raesrose
02-24-2012, 02:12 PM
CatintheSun, that made me laugh. JDR3 - I'm so glad you were able to talk with your family and come up with a well-thought-out solution. You are going to be a great homeschool family! :D