View Full Version : Home schooling in the public

01-26-2012, 08:51 PM
I just returned from a girl scouts (our first meeting ) my daughter (2nd grade) was supposed to figure out money for one of the dads. She was slow and told him she hadn't learned it yet. We have been working on money for about a month and off and on since kindergarten. I have made a store for my kids but I guess we usually deal with smaller amounts. I thought she understood money in general though. He made a comment to one of the other leaders after the girls walked off. I felt like crawling under the carpet. Any one else feel like a total failure after dealing with other parents.

01-26-2012, 09:01 PM
The way I look at it is that my kid's total sphere of knowledge is much greater than the avg ps student. Maybe my kids haven't nailed math facts like their peers in ps, but they can talk about aside range of subjects. Don't beat yourself up!

01-26-2012, 09:07 PM
none of the 2nd graders I know can really handle money math, so I wouldn't worry. But yeah, sucks to overhear comments about your HSing.

01-26-2012, 09:07 PM
Did the ps girls have to count money? If so, how did they do? I can't believe they would have done drastically better. I wouldn't beat myself up about it though I realize it is easier said than done. Chin up. It's a marathon; not a sprint. It will all be okay in the end. I give you kudos for putting your daughter into a troop with ps kids!!

01-26-2012, 09:21 PM
I haven't had that in particular, but I did have to listen to my mother's mutterings (get it?) about her concerns that DD wasn't on a par with her schooled cohorts on math...because DD can't parrot off times tables at 7. What my mom doesn't know, is that DD may not have all the "facts" memorized, but she can FIGURE OUT that 11.5 plus 11.5 is 23. Not on paper, in her head, while we are driving.

I wish I could offer something besides sympathy. I know it feels hard to be in the position of receiving the knowing glances of people assuming your child is missing out on something important because they are missing out on public school and all its glories. And in two words or just a glance, they can communicate paragraphs, that you will never get the chance to rebut. That you totally could rebut, if you just had that chance, to show them. But no, they get to make a snap judgement and walk off, and you just have to lump it. Your time will come though. Hang in there. Long before homeschooling or motherhood was ever on my radar screen, I noticed that the kids who did the best at excelling in the school environment, because they were the best at having no greater inspiration grab them than to hammer out worksheets, memorize material for tests, and be blissfully undistracted from anything other than the drivel they must digest and regurgitate for school, turned out to be ideal for the low-level unskilled or semiskilled jobs which they later did.

Not that I equate a person's worth with what they do for a living, and I myself put my personal pride into a fast food job, when that was what I had to do. But I did see a striking parallel between the criteria for success in school, and the criteria for success at jobs that require primarily compliance, not asking any questions, and showing up everyday.

I went to public school, and was never taught to count back change, only to work out arithmetic the long way on paper, and one day working the cash register at a mom-n-pop bakery and deli, the power went out right as I was making a transaction, and the old guy who ran the place was quite disgusted that I was lost like a deer in headlights, and couldn't make change without a calculator. He just shook his head, and I blushed. I scored really high on math and spatial logic all my life, and I couldn't count back change. My mother was almost helpless with anything spatial, but she grew up counting back change in her mother's bakery, and could have done it in her sleep.

So, I would say, don't sweat it, even though it's hard when you feel you have no comeback. That guy got to feel superior to you for free. Lucky him, big deal. If something that petty is what thrills his gorilla, so be it. You have higher standards, right? And by the way, counting back change is something I want to make sure my kids and I are great at, before all is said and done. It's a great practical skill to have.

I guess these things are just our breaking-in as homeschooling parents. Big hug to you. And don't worry, that guy doesn't take anything from it except a temporary and probably soon forgotten sense of superiority. Life itself will have its own little humiliations for him, by and by, just as it does for us all.

01-26-2012, 09:28 PM
Thanks so much, I know my daughter will get it eventually I just need to be patient. The other kids didn't seem like they got it any better than her she just had the misfortune to be sitting next to him.

01-27-2012, 06:00 AM
OH, puh-lease!

OK, that was my initial instinctive reaction.

Kids aren't trick ponies and, homeschooled or public schooled, and that dad needs to get over himself. Remarking on another child's abilities, no matter what, is wayyy out of line. Regardless of how they are educated, some children grasp certain concepts better than others. Maybe what your daughter doesn't understand with one topic, she makes up for in something else or another area in which she excels.

And of course children in public school are like that too. They may all be receiving the exact same cookie-cutter education, but I guarantee you that not all of them are keeping up with it, retaining the information at the same rates, or sorting it out in the same way.

So *hugs* to you, because I know how one ignorant stranger's remark can bring a person down.

01-27-2012, 11:30 AM
gah-that dad is a jerk.

2nd grade-what's that? 7? Puh-leeze. She has FOREVER to learn money! Don't let it get you down-you know that it is a weakness and you know to work on it together and that is all that matters.

By the way-I came across an awesome math game site the other night and it had a money game on it. I have yet to teach my 7 year old "money" and he picked up the basics quickly by playing the game.

the site is here: http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/ (becuase there are tons of awesome things on the site I figured I'd give you the main page link)

and he played "Enough money?" but there are tons of other games.


01-27-2012, 11:54 AM
Parents like that (and people in general) make statements like that to feel better about themselves. You know why? Because they have secret insecurities that they're trying to fix. It has nothing to do with you, your daughter or your homeschooling. Consider it an offering of one useless "quick-fix" to a personal problem that will probably haunt him long after the comment you overheard has rolled off your back.

01-27-2012, 01:30 PM
When I overhear stuff like that I walk up to the group and say..

"excuse me did you just make a comment about a 7 year old child? I thought I over heard you say <insert comment here> do you realize that what you said is offensive and I do not accept adults discussing children in this manner, ESPECIALLY when that child is mine. So for future reference Mr. so and so, I'd appreciate it if you could keep your deprecating comments to yourself, or least out of earshot."

And then when I walk away a nice little under the breath curse word implying that said person is only a part of one's anatomy...

Good thing my husband is willing to fight for his family cuz I can sometimes stir up a mess. LOL>...

01-28-2012, 01:26 AM
Sounds like a teachable moment in what not to do in a social group. And here I thought it was the homeschoolers who were supposed to be socially inept!

01-28-2012, 07:52 PM
I've had very similar experiences with 2nd grade Girl scouts in particular. For us it's been spelling and writing. I've tried to explain to dd that we know she's smart, she knows this stuff or can at least do her very best. A lot of times rather then try, she'll fall back on the "I don't know how to...." excuse. She doesn't understand that she is not only making herself look foolish, she's setting an impression of homeschooling in general (too heavy a concept for her at this point). She has since made a better effort to try harder.

This sounds like a different thing though, like she was picked out of the crowed and then condemned because they didn't think she was quick enough. Not fair.

01-29-2012, 07:30 PM
Good heavens! Has that dad ever been in a classroom? Kids are all over the place as are homeschoolers. At second grade, kids are still developing at all different rates. Math programs are still teaching money in the intermediate grades. And my son was "behind" in school as he is now. Its just where he is. I think I would have to say something to that father about judging and being socially inept in general.

01-29-2012, 10:29 PM
I probably would have made some quip about how I REALLY needed to bring this up at my kid's next parent-teacher conference! :roll eyes:

I feel your pain. I think it's natural to feel your dd's performance reflects on you as a hs teacher and I suspect this dad already had an opinion and only noticed what supported his views. BUT, you can't take it personally. I have embraced the unpredictability of my kids. Homeschooling means they get to march to the beat of their own drummer, and sometimes that means dancing (badly) down the street during a street fair (and being the ONLY ones dancing), and sometimes that means not knowing how to tell time until 8yo, and sometimes that means answering inane questions with shocking depth or insight. Just roll with it. When these moments come up, sit back and just observe what comes out of their mouths. At least hs-ing means you can focus on any gap you find. Maybe you;ll be amused or surprised by your child's response, maybe not. But just remember it's really, truly NOT about you. Just enjoy, shrug, smile, and move on. At least that's what I tell myself! :grin:

01-31-2012, 11:10 AM
Clearly the man the op was referring too has never been in my local Mcdonald's, Walmart or any other store! The "adults" at those places can't count out change if their lives depended on it and they are all from the ps systems in our area.

Your daughter will get it when she gets it. I have people getting on to me because my son is not a parrot yet he has fun working out of my sisters college math text books when he goes to her house...she laughs that he could teach the class better then her teacher because he knows how to do it just not all the parroting crap. They all work at their own level.

I never though to set up my own store in the house.... I always just took the kids to the store to have them make purchases there. Our local Sam's club has some workers that have been amazing with assisting with my kids on those things.

01-31-2012, 09:22 PM
By the way-I came across an awesome math game site the other night and it had a money game on it. I have yet to teach my 7 year old "money" and he picked up the basics quickly by playing the game.

the site is here: http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/ (becuase there are tons of awesome things on the site I figured I'd give you the main page link)

and he played "Enough money?" but there are tons of other games.


Hey I tried the site and my kids 2nd grade and K loved it. Thanks for the input, we are the only secular home schooled family( I know of) here. I pretty much stopped going to the home school activities I just left everyone I attended irritated, but still want my kids to have some cool activities. So I am trying girl scouts this year and boy scouts next year when my son is old enough. Too fun.

02-01-2012, 06:33 PM
He was totally rude. I wouldn't worry about it.