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View Full Version : Incessant talking is driving me mad



Gabriela
01-25-2012, 10:05 PM
I don't know what it is. Age maybe?

Ds doesn't stop talking.
When he's doing schoolwork is probably the only time that he's silent for more than a minute.
He seems to think that everything he has to say is totally awesome,
and that we should all stop what we're doing to listen to him.

I feel bad about cutting him off, but some of the stuff he's talking about is just 0 interesting, and sometimes just outright annoying.
Seriously, we had more interesting conversations when he was 5 then some of the ones he's coming up with these days.

Oh yeah, and he knows everything, and he knows it better than us.
Today he was trying to convince me that the book said William Snakespeare,
with rolling eyeballs and all, like "duh Mom"

What's going on?

Have you gone through this?
Do you listen patiently until the phase passes or just ask them to stop talking before your ear falls off?
It's driving me nuts.

MrsLOLcat
01-25-2012, 10:16 PM
I am perfectly content to interrupt and tell DS that while I really like that he wants to tell me things, he needs to check and make sure his audience is listening before launching into a lecture because he's not actually a professor and I'm not actually listening. Then I tell him he has 30 seconds to tell me the important stuff before I'm not listening again. I love it when he gets going and is truly excited about something, but I don't really need to hear him talk for the sake of talking. I love his voice and will miss it if/when it leaves, but I'm just not that good of a mom.

As for DD, she's a lost cause. I can tell her the same stuff I tell DS, and she'll just turn around and tell the dog. Or a stuffed animal. Or the wall. She doesn't care who she's talking to... but since she doesn't care if I'm listening or not, I guess it all balances out.

MarkInMD
01-25-2012, 10:21 PM
Oh, holy cow, we have two like this. Hurricane has improved with age, but man, did we have to tell him to get to the point a lot when he was younger. Tornado is still in that stage, though. I don't think it's possible for his brain to shut down his mouth unless he's asleep or eating. I know I'm in for a long discourse as soon as I hear, "nnDadnn?" It's not just "Dad?" It has Ns at the beginning and end, very distinctly. That's my signal to strap in and hang on, or else try to change the subject ASAP.

Yes, we do tell them when they're going too far. Not right away, because we want them to feel like they can talk to us, but yeah, tone it down some, son.

farrarwilliams
01-25-2012, 10:23 PM
Blah blah blah avatar blah lego website blah imaginary friend blah blah blah blah blah video game blah imaginary video game blah hum hum hum blah.

What? Oh, sorry, son, were you talking to me?

Staysee34
01-25-2012, 10:49 PM
I can handle the talking up to a point but when they start repeating themselves....IT HAS TO STOP!!! Pointing out that they've told me the same story 5 times in one day does absolutely no good. Interrupting does no good except for them pointing out how rude it is for me to interrupt and how much I don't like it when they do it to me.....UGH!!! If I had known the lessons on interrupting would one day bite me in the butt, I would not have pursued it with such gusto. I love my kids with all my heart but my ears have developed a freaky love hate relationship with my little motor mouths.

SunnyDays
01-25-2012, 11:39 PM
Ummm, yeah. Some days are better than others. There are some that I need to just say, "Honey, Mommy needs quiet time." Sometimes I think it's because mine is an only child, but apparently that's not the only cause.

Gabriela
01-25-2012, 11:43 PM
Ah! What a relief. I am not alone.
You guys make me laugh, which is great because I've been in such a pissy mood all day, so the duracell talking was esp getting to me.

MrsLoLCat:

because he's not actually a professor and I'm not actually listening
Love that! But, oh man, would I get in trouble with him for saying that out loud.
I'll definitely be thinking it though.:rolleyes:

JinxieFox
01-26-2012, 05:48 AM
blah blah blah avatar blah lego website blah imaginary friend blah blah blah blah blah video game blah imaginary video game blah hum hum hum blah.

What? Oh, sorry, son, were you talking to me?


EXACTLY!!!

It's happening right now...

Sorry that I don't have any advice on this. My husband and I are *constantly* saying to my son, "Dude! You don't need to narrate everything! We don't need a play-by-play. Seriously."

hockeymom
01-26-2012, 06:09 AM
My son hasn't stopped talking in oh, almost 9 years? Here it's a running commentary on cars (big surprise, yes?) and tends to start with "Mama, doyouwannaknowwhat"? He can literally talk about what car is the fastest, the most powerful, the "most ambitious but rubbish" (a favorite Top Gear saying) and so forth for hours, and usually I have to make comments now and again to show I'm actually listening to his every amazing statistic. He goes on about professional bike racing for ages too, but at least he's finally given up on talking about Mario Kart with me.

Pretty much the only time he's quiet is when he's reading, and then you'd better not disturb him. After he's finished though, I'll usually get a play by play about his book, to make up for lost conversation time I suppose. lol

OrganicFrmGrl
01-26-2012, 07:18 AM
Wow, so I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel really bad bc I am just NOT listening. I really don't need an hour long dissertation on the new lego car he made! OMG.
DS: this is the fastest care on earth because....
Me: uh huh
DS: and this makes it......
Me: uh huh
DS: and this makes it go under water because.....
Me: uh huh
DS: can I run in the house with knives
Me: uh huh

I so tune him out but, I do feel guilty bc sometimes he is just so excited but after an hour, I just can't listen it anymore. Dinner time is aweful. He talks so much. I will be done and cleaning up, DH is done with his second plate and DS is barely a quarter of the way done. The other night DH finally told DS, no more talking at dinner until you have finished you 1st helping. I hope he grows out of it soon!

baker
01-26-2012, 08:01 AM
I feel you pain....my dd (8) has the gift of gab.... if something can be said in 5 words she will use 50!

cupcakes0104
01-26-2012, 08:27 AM
I'm curious....are all these talkers first borns?

My first born talks non-stop. She was trying to finish all of my sentences yesterday and I finally had to say "I read this book, not you - how can you possibly know what I am about to say?" She just wanted to guess at everything to see if she was right. Argh.

The biggest dilemma is that my second born is very shy and we've realized in the past few years that it is in large part due to the fact that the first born always speaks for her. The first born is also so outgoing and popular with other kids that the second born is often left out. Trying to break some bad habits around here.

Gabriela
01-26-2012, 08:47 AM
I'm curious....are all these talkers first borns?

Mine is an only, and I noticed a few other onlys here too.
It would make sense though, for onlys and first borns, as there's no one else to compete with.
I also noticed lots of 8,9, and 10 yos.

How do you guys get away with the "uh-huh" (not actually listening)?
Ds would catch me right away.

MarkInMD
01-26-2012, 08:58 AM
Both kids are talkers, the older and younger, although the younger used to be shyer around strangers until he was about 4. That's something I do credit PS with helping him out on. :)

I almost forgot what sickness I used to tell Hurricane he had: "You've got a raging case of the guesswhats!" Seriously, just use statements, don't make a guessing game out of everything. Luckily Tornado doesn't do that part of it.

hockeymom
01-26-2012, 09:04 AM
Mine's an only too, and he's always been like this.

I definitely can't get away with mumbling "uh huh" or some other blow off; he asks specific questions that demand exacting answers to make sure of that! lol

Gabriela
01-26-2012, 09:38 AM
I definitely can't get away with mumbling "uh huh" or some other blow off; he asks specific questions that demand exacting answers to make sure of that! lol

Yup, mine too.
And if he catches me not paying attention, he'll say "Mama, why aren't you listening to me, I'm telling you something important?" in a most stern tone.

skrink
01-26-2012, 09:44 AM
Yep, have an only here, too. She's always been a talker. Always. I sometimes (like today) let her sleep in probably way too long so I can have some quiet before the day starts. She's also big on the guessing games. "I just saw a bunch of geese in the back yard - guess how many." ?????!!! And riddles. Joke books are the bane of my existence, though she's started to make up her own now. When no one gets one of them she launches into a 10 min. breakdown of the joke and why each part is funny. Sigh. I was such a painfully shy kid, and I'm still not a big talker. It can really wear you out being on the receiving end ALL DAY.

skrink
01-26-2012, 09:46 AM
Yup, mine too.
And if he catches me not paying attention, he'll say "Mama, why aren't you listening to me, I'm telling you something important?" in a most stern tone.

Oh, yes! Then I get quizzed to make sure I've caught all the important bits. :/ I can't even turn on the TV for a break - "Mom, come see this animal/that funny part. Oh, you missed it? Here, I'll rewind."

dbmamaz
01-26-2012, 10:11 AM
luckily most of my talkers are ok with me not paying attention. Raven talks while playing video games, narrating everything he's doing. But i have put my foot down enough that both Orion and Raven will ask "Is it ok if I talk about this game?" . . . becuase they ALWAYS want to talk about video games and i've made it clear that I (and probably most other people in the world) dont always want to HEAR about video games, and that its important to stop talking if ppl arent interested in it. I really need to move forward to the 'ask people questions about themselves' part, but i'm not as good at that part.

MrsLOLcat
01-26-2012, 10:23 AM
My son is my firstborn. DD is just as much of a talker, but she doesn't care so much if someone listens. When she's 'up,' she babbles in her room at night for an hour or so before falling asleep.

DS *does* get annoyed if I do the bobble head routine, but that's fine. He can get annoyed as long as I don't have to listen. The one I really hate is when he has been sitting quietly for 30 seconds and suddenly says, "Hmm." (Or something similar.) Because he ACTUALLY THINKS that I'm going to ask him, "What?" His sister will ask. His father will ask. I do not ask. And then he gets really mad. "Don't you care what I've been thinking??"

No... no, son, I sure don't. But if it turns into your doctoral thesis, I'll make sure to catch the highlights.

JinxieFox
01-26-2012, 10:26 AM
I'm curious....are all these talkers first borns?

Like quite a few folks have already said, mine is also an only (9 years-old, though working on turning him into a firstborn). :) I'm a firstborn and also talked non-stop as a child. My dad used to dare me to shut up for 30 minutes.

hreneeh
01-26-2012, 10:32 AM
both of mine are this way, but since there is 5 years between them they are sorta considered 2 onlys. My son is the worst (he's the first). He NEVER stops especially if you make the mistake of asking about a Lego creation. He can talk for HOURS. So I've taken to telling him he needs to write it down. If he wants to tell me about his lego creation it MUST be in writing. You know what I haven't received one paper and the talking has lowered a bit.

bovinesituation
01-26-2012, 10:41 AM
OMG yes! I have 2 of these motormouth models and I've yet to find a mute button. ;)

My oldest was maybe a little late talking (he did a lot of pointing and noises until he was nearly 2 and then he started talking in complete sentences - go figure). He literally talks all day to anyone and everyone about anything (seriously, everything. Cashiers at stores comment on how much he talks.) He even talks in his sleep.

My youngest (they are 19 months apart) started speaking in full sentences at 16 months. Again, go figure. Her motormouth brother probably taught her more about talking than I did. She doesn't talk quite as much when he's around but usually they are both talking 90 miles a minute.

All the talking makes me wonder how they'd do in public school where they wouldn't be able to talk all the darned time ;)

bcnlvr
01-26-2012, 11:55 AM
When he's doing schoolwork is probably the only time that he's silent for more than a minute.

Oh, you are so lucky!! Mine is NEVER quiet..... *sigh*

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-26-2012, 01:15 PM
My daughter (second-born) is a gabber. If I had a dollar for every "Mama, d'you know what?" I'd retire to the south of France. The only times I ask her to stop are when she's doing school work, when I'm reading aloud (man, that drives me nuts), and when I'm trying to compose an email on the computer. I do love her creativity (a pneumatic tube that sends cups from France to a lemonade stand... a five-story train... endless stories about her stuffed animals...) but sometimes it's too much.

lakshmi
01-26-2012, 05:04 PM
My son hasn't stopped talking in oh, almost 9 years? Here it's a running commentary on cars (big surprise, yes?) l

Does he like motorcycles too or just cars?

And I suppose I have two motor mouths, and I guess I must listen to them. I am trying to think what I do, because I have no idea. I do think that sometimes I am going to go crazy with interruptions. But, only when I am on SHS trying to reply with some witty banter .

For me it is about the interruptions which could happen even if they weren't talking non-stop.

I do know that when they start talking a lot that is my cue to pay attention. Like REAL attention. Usually I do it at night before bed, but I have found that they leave me alone better in the day if I truly sit and listen really listen to what they are saying. It sometimes takes all my might to not interject some parenty thing.. But, it works.

So there. all your talkative kids... try listening to them for a solid 5-10 minutes and see if it changes. It will be an experiment. I love my kids talking all the time. Then I know what they're thinking Ha ha... what happens when they start to shut up. I will have more brain time but then I won't feel as connected to them.

Wacky... So Gabriela, go and look at your son, and say, what is that you're doing or what are you thinking about Xy or z, spend the time and then come back and tell us what happened. Ha it could just open the flood gates to more talking and then we're all in trouble. But think about where he will be in 6 years. Just my opinion of course. And we all have our days..

But I do get tired of being interrupted in my own thoughts... And supposedly I talk a lot too. And so does my husband, and his talking bugs me more than the kids....

hockeymom
01-26-2012, 05:14 PM
Just cars.

:)

You're right though, it is good to know what they are thinking. And as hard as it is sometimes, I do dread the day DS turns into a teenager and stops talking to me at all.

lakshmi
01-26-2012, 05:47 PM
k... any special kind of cars? I am getting side tracked by cars... I like cars too, but would get tired of hearing about them too. Hugs.

And exactly... teenagers..

dbmamaz
01-26-2012, 05:55 PM
Orion still wants more interactoins than most of us want with him - he's just much more people-oriented than we are. He's the first to introduce himself to other people at park day and ask if they are homeschoolers, he's the first one to introduce himself to new kids at martail arts . . . he just really likes talking to ppl.

Chriscase
01-28-2012, 01:33 AM
What scares me is when the talking stops and it gets really quiet.

lakshmi
01-28-2012, 02:05 PM
Found this...

Psychomotor overexcitability (http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/overexcitability-and-the-gifted)