View Full Version : my son is getting cold feet

05-24-2010, 08:44 AM
So yesterday evening, my 9yo son blurts out to me, "I'm not sure if I really want to homeschool next year." He really suprised me there. This after 2 years of me feeling like I'm forcing him to go to school every day. Just a few weeks ago he was reduced to tears on a weekly basis telling me how horrible and pointless school was. Things have gotten better at school in the last couple of weeks. He has quit trying to hang out with his old best friend and has been playing with a different (nicer) group of kids. Last year he hated school, but by the last week he was melancholy over the last day of school. It took him a little while to adjust when school got out.

Anyhow, I think he's just worried that he won't have friends and that he will lose touch with his school friends. He also told me that he's worried that he will have too much free time. What will he do all afternoon? I guess it all just suprised me. I did show him all of the calendar of activities for the local meetup group, and there is an enrichment class for homeschoolers at a local school that I'm a little interested in- we're going to check it out this week. I'm not all that concerned about too much free time- I told him that until he was in school full-time he had all of that free time and life was great- not to mention that we can go skiing during the week in the winter.

For those of you with kids that went to school before homeschooling- did your child get cold feet? After discussing it, it seems that he's just nervous about the change. It is hard to be a part of a community and then leave it. I told him we are working on a yearly basis- we will give it a year and reevaluate. He can always return the next year.

05-24-2010, 09:36 AM
For those of you with kids that went to school before homeschooling- did your child get cold feet? After discussing it, it seems that he's just nervous about the change. It is hard to be a part of a community and then leave it. I told him we are working on a yearly basis- we will give it a year and reevaluate. He can always return the next year.My daughter is finishing up this year in public school, but we'll homeschool her next year. She kept going back and forth on whether she wanted to do it or not, such that it took us several months to finally make the decision. She's nervous about some of the same things-not seeing her friends as much, but we had some long talks and she has seen that her brother is doing well with home education, so she's wiling to try it out now...every once in awhile she still gets cold feet, but I think it will work out fine for her.

05-24-2010, 10:05 AM
One of mine went until 5th grade and the other went only to K. But they haven't told me once that they want to go back. Alex had a rough time in school with bullying and feeling ashamed that he wasn't getting the work done right, even though he spent all night trying to do the homework. We go to a game day and park day almost very week and then do alot of classes with other homeschoolers and even have playdate(is that what you call them for teenagers?) where they invite a friend or two over and do whatever they want (within reason). Maybe try and see if he has any friends he wants to invite over, or ask him something that he really enjoys science,nature, drawing and start a club for it at your house. we do Magic Tree House book club that wedo with a friend (and others) and it meets at a local coffee shop. just some suggestions;)

05-24-2010, 11:17 AM
Ask him if his friends are making fun of him for being a future homeschooler, that might be part of the problem. Also 6th grade and going to middle school might look pretty good to him if he's hearing his friends discussing it...they probably all had a visit to their future middle school arranged by their elementary school recently. (Ours does that). If he was the lone person staying behind because he's not going to middle school, that might have been a tough pill to swallow. Ask him to revisit all the reasons why he wanted to be homeschooled and see if they still apply. If he continues to want to go to p.s., I'm thinking you should let him. He might yet change his mind again once he gets there. Good luck!

05-25-2010, 06:58 PM
My two oldest are finishing up their year at public school before we start homeschooling. Both of them were very excited by the prospect of homeschool but did voice concerns of missing certain friends. Why not suggest they swap phone numbers and arrange meetups once in awhile? It may not happen that way once they are out but knowing there is an effort to hang on to good friends can make them feel better. I know mine are much more relaxed knowing they can call their friends.

05-26-2010, 10:19 AM
Well, we had a good talk and I think it's just the end of the year blues. We had a mixed year- he really struggled in the friend department most of the year- his old best friend and him drifted apart and he had to find a new niche. He loved his teacher- she was really wonderful. I think he's learned a lot, but he complained all year that he wasn't learning enough. He's been at this school for 3 years now and we are going into the unknown. Heck, I even get cold feet if I think too much. I guess I'm afraid of being isolated but I keep reminding myself that this is one year- not carved in stone. If we don't do it, I will never know, and we can always return. We have a great opportunity to do some travelling during the school year and that is the catalyst that really spurred me to do this, but my kids don't love school and most of this year they would have rather been home. I don't think he's being teased about it- I'm not even sure he's talked about it much. He's going into 5th and our school goes up to 8th, so I don't think that's it either. We'll just have to not dwell on the changes and fears.

05-26-2010, 12:52 PM
Good luck :)

05-26-2010, 01:32 PM
It's always hard being the "different" kid, especially at that age, and if you guys don't know many other homeschoolers. We went through this when we pulled our son out of ps (and he only went for kindergarten), and it took us both awhile to adjust to the new way of life. If there are any summer homeschool park days with kids your son's age, I would recommend going as often as your schedule allows. He'll be able to meet some homeschool kids and maybe talk to them about what they do during their days. Sometimes kids hear things better when they come from someone other than a parent ;)

05-26-2010, 05:25 PM
My kids were in public school until 1st and 2nd grade before we pulled them out at the end of the year to homeschool. While they didn't see that group of friends daily as in the past, they still saw them at girl scouts, 4-H , and sports teams. And, over time, they've made friends with other homeschoolers through co-ops and activities of our local co-op group.

Neither of them have expressed an interest in returning to "traditional" school. They enjoy the freedom to learn what and how they want along with the freedom to travel with their dad when the opportunity arises. Perhaps telling your son about these advantages will help?

Hopefully, you can find a local support group for both you and your son. It will probably take time, but homeschool kids can be every bit as social as public school kids, sometimes more! My kids are at a homeschool or sport function 5 out of 7 days this week alone!