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View Full Version : OK so I thought we had it under control...



pandahoneybee
12-15-2011, 04:28 PM
My oldest, ADHD, big hearted, smart mouthed, hard working (with anything but school), lovable, driving me quite crazier than normal and being quite lazy lately son has pushed my buttons for the last month. I REALLY need some advice here!!:punch:

I need some way to give him freedom and lessons becoming a little more self sufficient! I mean my youngest is doing better with getting done with his lessons then my oldest is! And we are needing to add some grammar and writing back into our day with daily spanish reviews as well. I was thinking of a to do list like I have but it needs to be something simple that I can show him and he can take over for himself! I get busy and my own ADD kicks in and I just can't find a way to keep on top of his work on a daily basis and I am thinking at 15 he should be able to do some of this on his own? Or am I totally wrong? Every time he says I got it mom I back off and let him take the reigns than he goes back to doing the very minimum to even "forgetting" to complete things.

SO is there a book I should read or a website that can give me different ways to help him help himself? He is a smart boy but just not applying himself at all anymore!

Thanks all....

Jackielyn
12-15-2011, 05:04 PM
I am no where near raising a teenager yet...but I'm wondering if it's a phase?? I am friends with 3 moms who have middle schoolers who all about 12-13...all are having problems with forgetting to do their homework or not turning it in. Maybe it's some weird developmental phase...sorry as I'm probably no help but was maybe wondering if it's just something teenagers do and will hopefully grow out of. :hugs: best of luck, I'm trying to get my 9 yr old to be more self-sufficient I'm definitely not ready to tackle a teenager yet!

pandahoneybee
12-15-2011, 05:13 PM
I am no where near raising a teenager yet...but I'm wondering if it's a phase?? I am friends with 3 moms who have middle schoolers who all about 12-13...all are having problems with forgetting to do their homework or not turning it in. Maybe it's some weird developmental phase...sorry as I'm probably no help but was maybe wondering if it's just something teenagers do and will hopefully grow out of. :hugs: best of luck, I'm trying to get my 9 yr old to be more self-sufficient I'm definitely not ready to tackle a teenager yet!
Thanks Jackielyn!! I can feel the hugs! I am at that stage where he needs to be helping me help him!! ya know!! Some days I don't know if I am ready for this either, LOL

farrarwilliams
12-15-2011, 05:21 PM
Just quick thoughts as I'm on my slow typing phone, and keep in mind I have taught but not homeschooled kids this age...

I think you have to involve him in the big picture things and make some goals together. Where does he want to be down the road and what's the path to get there? And maybe a contract is in order there. But then I think you have to lay out and micromanage the daily path for him to get there. A checklist, a timer, a trampoline in between... all those tricks to keep ADD kids on task.

Just my 2 cents.

Shoe
12-15-2011, 05:29 PM
No advice, but keenly watching this thread for suggestions, because I'm having similar issues (minus the ADHD) with my daughter.

Gabriela
12-15-2011, 05:37 PM
Could he get a job?
I know it sounds kind of backwards, but I was a really slack student, and having a job meant less free time to waste and more pressure to study during study time.
A job would also give him some insight as to what adult life is like.
We're still a ways off, but I hope that by the time my son is 15 he'll be able to decide for himself whether he wants to continue academics or if he'd rather go for some specific technical training.
If a job is too complicated, maybe some volunteer work?

dbmamaz
12-15-2011, 07:28 PM
Omg, did yu borrow MY 15 yo? My 8 yo asks in the middle of every day "what do I need to do to get school over?" and while he still needs me for most of it, he will rush me to get to it, and do what he can on his own. My special needs 15 yo? I make him lists and still find him on his computer "I was done!". Um, no, definitely not. ImTRYING to print out weekly assignment lists and daily checklists which include both chores and assignments for that specific day, but then I forget to check them. And of course he does too. I'm going nuts

And my daughter just gave me a big lecture about how the community colleges are not going to be able to give him much support or adjustments . . . Way to panic me, girl . . . .

Virginia
12-15-2011, 08:40 PM
Not sure if it's a teenage phase, but if it is...my son is ahead of the curve. Figures. He's 11 and he is FOREVER forgetting this or that. His 1st month of school (we're pulling them out of ps next week) we had to buy him THREE new assignment notebooks because he would "lose" them. I absolutely understand the frustration. For my son, we had to set specific times for everything. I had an alarm on my phone that went off at 4 everyday to let him know it was time for him to do his homework. Eventually, the minute he heard the alarm, he grabbed his bag and went to the table.

I'm just hoping this works with homeschool. Give him a set time for each subject and a to-do list and let him go.

Marmalade
12-16-2011, 02:13 PM
Just quick thoughts as I'm on my slow typing phone, and keep in mind I have taught but not homeschooled kids this age...

I think you have to involve him in the big picture things and make some goals together. Where does he want to be down the road and what's the path to get there? And maybe a contract is in order there. But then I think you have to lay out and micromanage the daily path for him to get there. A checklist, a timer, a trampoline in between... all those tricks to keep ADD kids on task.

Just my 2 cents.

I think the advice about goals is very good. My daughter (12..) forgets to do her math even though she has very simple instructions "Read chapter, do work, done"...but with her Spanish she gets everything done because she has goals and a "pace" set. She knows that she wants to finish by February and she knows how many lessons there are and she knows how many she needs to get done each week in order to get there-so by the end of the week she does everything that needs to be done to stay on goal.

some other things that I've tried and worked well at the time....

She has a calendar-just one of those small spiral weekly ones-that I write what needs to be done and she follows that. The only problem I have with that is it is a lot of work for me to update (I tried to do it once a month)

last year she had a rotating schedule (math one day, language arts the next) and some things that were daily-so I made one calendar showing the schedule so there would be no question as to what she needed to do that day.

We haven't found the perfect answer yet...it is my goal to try to get her as self-sufficient as possible before she starts high school. I just need to make it her goal. :)

DragonFaerie
12-17-2011, 01:37 PM
I don't know if I can help at all because my 16 year old step son is the same way. However, I didn't homeschool him (thankfully!). That said, here's my suggestions for what I do to keep my younger two (10 and 8) on task. They each have a weekly planner into which I write their assignments for every day. They know that "school" is from 9 am until 3 pm and there are consequences for dawdling/ not getting the work done, which include not getting to go do special things and/or "homework" on the weekends.