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speech mom
11-14-2011, 06:59 PM
Strange moment this weekend. A PS mom was introducing my HS daughter to another PS mom. The new mom was confused because she didn't recognize my daughter from school. So, my friend explained that Lilli was homeschooled. The other mom was shocked. Shocked in the gasping "oh my god, why?" kind of way. Well, my friend decided to explain that it was because Lilli was kicked out of school.
Then almost peed herself laughing at the other mom's response.

Amanadoo
11-14-2011, 11:32 PM
"Oh, you homeschool? Because you guys are military right?"

coloradoalice
11-15-2011, 12:24 AM
I've never heard anyone tell anyone why I home school. I have no idea what they say. Probably something about me being weird.......

CatInTheSun
11-15-2011, 02:27 AM
Haven't heard anyone say as of yet, but I get the feeling mil brags its because "her grandkids" are soooo smart (you know, cause somehow it has to be about her, lol), my mom would likely be apologetic ("it's good for them, but doesn't mean your grandkids aren't getting an A+ ed in ps"), my dad would likely shrug and say, "why not?", and the rest of our families probably tell folks we're weird and over-protective (got the feeling dh's stepbrother assumes we hs to protect the kids from the "real world").

Probably be funny to hear what they actually say, but then one of my favorite sayings is Eleanor Roosevelt's, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” :D

JinxieFox
11-15-2011, 06:12 AM
Hm, well, that's never happened to me, but that story certainly made me smile!

mommykicksbutt
11-15-2011, 06:13 AM
I don't know if anyone has tried to explain to others why we homeschool, don't know how I would know if they did. I'm with Alice, they would just probably think because we're weird or something like that.

clancariens
11-15-2011, 07:13 AM
I've had one acquaintance tell a friend (who was also planning to homeschool this year but the "explainer" didn't know that!), that I'm homeschooling because "her one son, you know, has 'issues'", and she couldn't understand why I would "do that" to the "other two normal kids". Bitch. Like she knows what's best for MY family.

bcnlvr
11-15-2011, 09:08 AM
Yes, this happens to me. I really don't give two sh1ts, because it's really none of their business, but why do people have to say anything? Funny how people can be so arrogant and ignorant at the same time. Oh, wait, those are Metallica lyrics:

"Before you judge me take a look at you
Can't you find something better to do
Point the finger, slow to understand
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand"

(oops, sorry, but I had to add that!)

Upon occasion, when people find a way to piss me off, I go into aspie-intellectual mode and overwhelm them with homeschooling statistics and multisyllabic vocabulary (like Spencer from "Criminal Minds"). They usually will change the subject and/or go away. Or I will say, "Yes, it sounds like you have never homeschooled and don't really know what it is or isn't like. See ya later!"

It is completely illogical to me that people, who know NOTHING about homeschooling, have such strong opinions of it. I think if you haven't tried it, you don't GET an opinion. KWIM? Like if you don't vote, you don't get to b1tch about who is elected. And if you haven't tasted my homemade pizza, you can't say it sucks.

These are just my quirky opinions.

farrarwilliams
11-15-2011, 10:01 AM
"Oh, because of those inner city schools, right?" Nope, we'd homeschool in the 'burbs too, thank you.

theWeedyRoad
11-15-2011, 12:57 PM
I don't know how they talk about us. But I have a clue. I think most would smirk and proclaim us weird. My mother would say if anyone could, I can (but she's not supportive honestly). My father probably tells everyone he has known all along that we are terrible parents and that he keeps an eye on us blah blah blah.

I know people in my town talk- my father knew we were hs before I'd had a chance to tell him. And a kindly (but misguided) neighbor dropped by to go on and on about kids being successful in ps is dependent on how involved their parents are (she's elderly, I'll forgive her... but this.... rotflmao!).

skrink
11-15-2011, 01:12 PM
Upon occasion, when people find a way to piss me off, I go into aspie-intellectual mode and overwhelm them with homeschooling statistics and multisyllabic vocabulary (like Spencer from "Criminal Minds"). They usually will change the subject and/or go away.

This is my favorite, non-hostile response. I've become a master at it. :D Works great with the in-laws!!

Laina
11-15-2011, 01:15 PM
Family members believe it has to do with my daughter's chronic illness, which was a big reason for us at the beginning, but now is more an added bonus reason.

JinxieFox
11-15-2011, 01:16 PM
I've had one acquaintance tell a friend (who was also planning to homeschool this year but the "explainer" didn't know that!), that I'm homeschooling because "her one son, you know, has 'issues'", and she couldn't understand why I would "do that" to the "other two normal kids". Bitch. Like she knows what's best for MY family.


Yes, this happens to me. I really don't give two sh1ts, because it's really none of their business, but why do people have to say anything? Funny how people can be so arrogant and ignorant at the same time.


"Oh, because of those inner city schools, right?" Nope, we'd homeschool in the 'burbs too, thank you.


*le sigh* So many ignorant people, especially those who use the word "normal". :/

MarkInMD
11-15-2011, 08:16 PM
If this conversation has ever been had by any of our non-HS friends (which I kinda doubt it has), I imagine that somewhere in there would be our reputation for being do-it-yourself types. But to my knowledge, it's never come up in that way.

Stella M
11-15-2011, 08:39 PM
I'm pretty sure it's only my mum who has to do much explaining, and she normally uses a mixture of "The schools just aren't set up for gifted students!" with "Well, you know what the system's like, they are better off out of it" and also a dash of maternal pride " My daughter can give them an amazing education." Isn't she a nice mama ?

theWeedyRoad
11-15-2011, 09:06 PM
I don't know how they talk about us. But I have a clue. I think most would smirk and proclaim us weird. My mother would say if anyone could, I can (but she's not supportive honestly). My father probably tells everyone he has known all along that we are terrible parents and that he keeps an eye on us blah blah blah.

I know people in my town talk- my father knew we were hs before I'd had a chance to tell him. And a kindly (but misguided) neighbor dropped by to go on and on about kids being successful in ps is dependent on how involved their parents are (she's elderly, I'll forgive her... but this.... rotflmao!).

Ok, I'll eat some crow. My father apparently bumped into another homeschooler today at the aforementioned store, and had quite a conversation. Not entirely sure what was said, but the tone of the conversation with ME was positive. Probably the first time I have ever gotten the sense from him that homeschooling can be done without scarring children for life! :_lol:

Stella M
11-15-2011, 09:07 PM
Awesome! May it continue :)

pnctink
11-16-2011, 08:58 AM
LOL! That is too funny!

I'm sure my mother thinks it's because I've become more "hippy-esque" since we moved to Vermont. I'm not sure what my ILs think at the best of times, so who knows with them. The rest of my family probably assumes it's because I've always been non-conventional.

Airen
11-16-2011, 01:12 PM
My mom thinks I homeschool because, deep down, I still want to be a "real" teacher in ps (that's what i started in college) My brother thinks I'm the coolest ever, and need to be more hippie al la Rainbow Gathering crunchy intentional community... then I'd be perfect. He used live in the Redwoods in Eugene LOL

DH sil homeschools her four kids, so minus one other sil, it's all normal. Most of his family takes a tomato, tomato approach to raising kids. I love his family

kewb22
11-16-2011, 10:01 PM
I have no idea if anyone has ever offered an explanation. I am sure my in-laws never mention it because they do not approve. My mother would say wonderful and glowing things. My friends probably say "ask her."

OrganicFrmGrl
11-17-2011, 02:14 PM
I have actually heard a friend tell someone the reason I homeschool is I because I can and why would i put my son the this "crappy" school if I didn't have to! It made me feel really good. As for family I sure they think it has something to do with always wanting to rebel. They have never said it but, I have that feeling. Well, that and I think they think i'm a weird hippie! My family isn't the most supportive.

(FYI--on my mom's side of the family 2 of 3 Uncles were Principals and out of thirteen cousins and my sister 9 work for the PS system (teachers and counselors), that didn't even include in spouses!)

Pefa
11-19-2011, 07:14 PM
I love your friend's sense of humor.

Again, hs'ing in VT is like putting maple syrup on pancakes. Even those, like me, who prefer yogurt and applesauce on their pancakes know at least a dozen folks who use maple syrup.

speech mom
11-20-2011, 10:14 AM
We spend a lot of time with people who don't homeschool because of scouts and dance. I know people talk about it, I am just surprised they don't talk to me about it.

Last week at dance, a mom asked me how I tell that the kids are all on grade level in all their subjects. I guess I have been homeschooling my way for so long that I didn't consider how others view education. I told her that I have no idea if they are on grade level. She was SHOCKED. Gasping, shocked. I tried to explain that I am with them every day while they learn, so I know that they are continuing to learn. I know when they need a little help, I know when something is too easy.

But, but how do you know if they are on grade level and learning what other kids their age are? Well, I figure it doesn't matter if they are learning the same material at the same time, as long as they are learning.
But how do you know if they can read as well as the other kids their age? They don't. GASP.

I admit, I am kind of curious how this conversation will replay if it passes through the other dance moms.

I have no idea how my parents explain our homeschooling to other people. I know they have some assumptions though. My dad bought some cool Berl jewelry on etsy. In chatting with the seller, he learned she was a wiccan. So he tells me all about her. Because after all, if she is Wiccan, she must homeschool. And if she is a wiccan homeschooler, you must know her right?

OrganicFrmGrl
11-20-2011, 10:29 AM
Last week at dance, a mom asked me how I tell that the kids are all on grade level in all their subjects. I guess I have been homeschooling my way for so long that I didn't consider how others view education. I told her that I have no idea if they are on grade level. She was SHOCKED. Gasping, shocked. I tried to explain that I am with them every day while they learn, so I know that they are continuing to learn. I know when they need a little help, I know when something is too easy.

But, but how do you know if they are on grade level and learning what other kids their age are? Well, I figure it doesn't matter if they are learning the same material at the same time, as long as they are learning.
But how do you know if they can read as well as the other kids their age? They don't. GASP.

I admit, I am kind of curious how this conversation will replay if it passes through the other dance moms.



I probably would have said "How do you know your kids are on grade level, just because they are in PS doen't mean they are on grade level" That cracks me up that people feel that just because their kids are in PS they are at grade level, that is why I started HS'ing. When we moved the school was so far behind the other school DS attended! UGH!!!!!

outskirtsofbs
11-20-2011, 10:48 AM
I'm sure its my mother that has mentioned it somewhere around this one-horse town. She (and DD's Great-Grandma) are DD's benefactors. She is appalled at the state of the school district and doesn't mince words about the bullies and the crappy teacher that DD had B/F being removed.

speech mom
11-20-2011, 12:11 PM
I probably would have said "How do you know your kids are on grade level, just because they are in PS doen't mean they are on grade level" That cracks me up that people feel that just because their kids are in PS they are at grade level, that is why I started HS'ing.

That was exactly what I was thinking. but I know this particular child is not reading at grade level, so I figured it would just upset mom if I pointed out that public schools don't have everyone at grade level.
Personally, I think it is just swell that this kid is not at grade level in one area. so what? she has strengths and weaknesses in different subjects. she tries hard. she still loves reading. she is a really interesting and nice kid. who cares what lexicon she is at? everyone learns everything at different rates, why compare her to a bunch of kids who happen to have birthdays near hers? But in my experience, people miss the parts where you talk about how wonderful their kid is and focus on the part they see as bad.

Jeni
11-20-2011, 02:48 PM
I've only heard my mom say something. I think it was along the lines of, "They want the best education for their kids" or something like that. Other then that, I don't know if anyone has ever said anything when I'm not around.

leav97
11-22-2011, 03:20 PM
I have no idea how other people would explain us homeschooling. I've never discussed our reasons for homeschooling with family. I've talked about our reasons more with complete strangers then with anyone I know.