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Gabriela
11-09-2011, 05:19 PM
He still has to wear diapers to bed. We've never made a big deal of it, but he just turned 9 and I never thought it would go on this long.

More than bladder problems, I think it's just that he can't wake up to pee. He's a very deep sleeper.

Anyone out there with a child who went this long, or longer, with bedwetting?

Any suggestions?

theWeedyRoad
11-09-2011, 05:42 PM
Mine is 10, and although it has gotten better he still does occasionally.

dh talked to the doc about it, and was told ds will eventually outgrow it. It has to do with an bladder that hasn't kept up with ds's growth (he is taller than I am). I have a friend who's dd was 11 before she stopped, as well, so it certainly isn't rare.

Meanwhile, I bought a nice waterproof pad for ds. He uses something similar to pull-ups for sleepovers, and takes his pad with him on those as well (his choice). We don't make a big deal about it, either.

I had heard to wake your child up before you go to bed. I haven't tried that BUT I do make sure he goes easy on liquids after 7 and remind him to pee before he settles for sleep. That makes a huge difference for us, I think.

bcnlvr
11-09-2011, 05:55 PM
My older dss (now 17) stopped bw at around 11 or so. We decided that we would take him to see the doctor if, at 18 and time to leave for college, he was still doing it. Nope. He just seemed to outgrow it. We also didn't make a big deal of it. And the "easy on the water" at night is helpful, too.

Gabriela
11-09-2011, 05:55 PM
At what age did it become less frequent?

With us, it still happens almost every night.

I read that waking them up wasn't the best solution because most kids don't have to pee during the night.
But the advice out there is so contradicting and confusing.

He doesn't sleepwalk, but if I wake him up to pee, he'll kind of walk to the bathroom (I have to steady and guide him), but he doesn't really wake up.

albeto
11-09-2011, 05:59 PM
My youngest was like this until this age about. I asked the doc and the first thing he asked me was what was dad's history. Yep, runs in the family so it's normal for him. We woke him up before going to bed because he refused to wear pull-ups. We had accidents if we didn't get to him within a few hours of him falling asleep but we had the routine down pretty well (waterproof barrier, sheet, water pad, sheet - top sheet gets wet and it and the top water pad gets ripped off, clean sheet is dry underneath and child is back in bed by the time clean jammies are on him and he's been washed down with warm washcloth). He slept so hard that when we brought him to the bathroom he would pee in the toilet in his sleep (like trying to step into it, or climb behind it - no end of fun for dd and I to help him stay in place, hehehe). Eventually he woke up enough to go pee himself or tell us he didn't need to, refuse to, and sleep dry all night.

We haven't had an accident in forever. It tapered off in about a week or two and that was that.

We never made an issue out of it and I think that was the best thing. He's a confident boy and that doesn't embarrass him because, really, he couldn't help it.

Batgirl
11-09-2011, 06:26 PM
My brother in law had this problem. Other than the waterproof pad, an alarm that sounds off when it senses moisture was what finally worked for him.

Gabriela
11-09-2011, 07:21 PM
The alarms we've tried sound like police sirens, and only wake dh and me up while the boy snores away.

I guess I should try the waterproof pad. I've been avoiding having to wash sheets and PJs every day by using diapers,
but I'm kind of worried about his skin in that delicate area. 9 years of nocturnal suffocation on my poor potential grandkids...

Jilly
11-09-2011, 07:27 PM
All my brothers and I wet our beds until we were about 10 or 11. I remember it being every night until I was 10. The doctor told my mom that we all just had immature bladders, and we would outgrow it. We did, thankfully. :o

LovingMyChildren
11-09-2011, 07:38 PM
Another option that may help a little though not completely - when the child goes to the bathroom before bed, have them "triple" push. Meaning, let them go the way they normally would, then when they stop and think they are empty have them push some more to get more out (and they always have more at this stage), then when they stop and think they are empty have them push one more time to get the rest out (and they nearly always have a little more still come out on the third push). For whatever reason, our bladders don't typically empty completely unless we (even as adults) make an effort to completely empty them. Best of wishes!

dbmamaz
11-09-2011, 07:38 PM
I had read once that it's actually a hormone that stops the production of urine at night, and different ppl start producing the hormone at different ages.

LovingMyChildren
11-09-2011, 07:43 PM
Oh - one track mind... You can also raise the head of the bed about 6-8 inches (about 15 degrees). This produces more dense urine (i.e., more of the water stays in the body instead of being excreted into the urine) and thus, less quantity of urine is produced. It helps a great deal!

laundrycrisis
11-09-2011, 08:03 PM
Our DS1 was born with a birth defect in his urinary tract that he had surgery for when he was 4 months old. Because of this, I took him back to the ped urologist about the wetting. Basically their plan of attack is this: They had me measure and record his daytime output for three separate days. They did another ultrasound to make sure his urinary tract looks normal except for the repaired defect. Then, they wanted to make sure I had already tried limiting evening liquids and waking him every 2-3 hours (we had; he still wet.) Next, they want him to have an abdominal xray to see if he is retaining stool. When kids retain a lot of stool, they get used to a feeling of fullness all the time so they don't respond to it. If he is, they will treat him with a stool softener or gentle laxative (I haven't had it done yet). If the problem persists, they will want him to try a drug for bladder spasms. It will only help if the bladder is truly overactive and won't help if the problem is just deep sleep. If that doesn't resolve it, they will have me try an alarm. They save the alarm for when these other possible causes have been eliminated because if the problem is something besides deep sleep, the alarm won't solve it and will frustrate and upset both the kid and the parents.

MarkInMD
11-09-2011, 08:25 PM
While our younger son isn't that old, this problem still does happen. One of the big things for us is curtailing fluid intake within two hours of bedtime. Especially soda. We don't have a lot of soda in the family (Hurricane hates it, in fact), but it makes Tornado have to go for about every 15 minutes for about two hours after having one. So that's a big no-no pre-bed. I don't know if that's something applicable to you, but fluid intake in general is what usually solves it for us.

Tough stuff with a deep sleeper. Tornado is relatively light compared to Hurricane. Can't imagine how much worse the problem would be if he was a comatose type. Good luck.

Gabriela
11-09-2011, 08:39 PM
Thanks everybody.

I think I'm going to try the raising the bed head first. That sounds like an easy one, and I'd never heard of it before.

Many of you mentioned 10-11, so I guess I shouldn't worry that much for another couple of years, and hope he outgrows it as you mention.

Much relieved.

OrganicFrmGrl
11-09-2011, 09:03 PM
One suggestion my sister got for her son that work was not to use the briefs for a few nights. She was told that the briefs pull the wetness away, which is good for the skin but, the child can't feel it. If the child is in some type of underwear, they can feel the wetness and wakeup quickley. It worked for her son but, you have to be careful bc you don't want any skin irritation. I have also heard decreasing fluids and sugar! But again it could just be age.

koalaborg
11-09-2011, 09:07 PM
our dd is almost 5 and we still have bedwetting problems. we use mattress cover and try to limit fluids at night. she won't do a bedtime pullup or anything, so I do a lot of laundry. I wake her maybe two hours after she falls asleep to use the potty, and this helps. a little. we have a couple dry nights a week rather than none at all.

Lak001
11-09-2011, 09:12 PM
Mine is 8. She just did it last week. I think it may be due to the cold weather setting in. I remember my mother telling that my brother wetted the bed till he was in 7th grade. His son, my nephew, still wets the bed. he's turning 9 day after tomorrow.

Hope that helps. I don't have any advice though.

bcnlvr
11-09-2011, 09:17 PM
Found these comforting stats (aka I LOVE data) :
"About 20% of five-year-olds wet the bed; by the age of 10, about 5% do it. 1% of 15-year-olds are still wetting at night."
(http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/bedwetting_%28cyh%29.html)

So the trend (bw decreasing over time/with age) is a good one! :) :)

Gabriela
11-09-2011, 10:11 PM
OG, I hope it doesn't last until he's 15. But yes, comforting stats. Thanks for posting them.

lakshmi
11-10-2011, 01:00 AM
Gabi, got this problem too.

Dbmamaz is correct about the hormone. Lucky for us a chemo drug stops the production of it if there was some so we're considering a referral to the docs. Actually the oncology dept referred us but we miscommunicated and haven't had the appointment yet.

I was considering a nice alarm. Supposedly there is one that is a flash of light, vibrate and noise. I had to go to mothering.com forum for this one. It is a good reference for this stuff there! I am hopefully going to get one to try out. They talked about putting on the alarm, and then the pullup/diaper thing.

I thought of trying the buzzer. Sounds like it takes up to six months. And the voiding and waking up aren't recommended, something to do with bladder recognition. Waking them up isn't going to help them realize that they have to pee.

raegan
11-10-2011, 01:09 AM
I feel like I just typed this, but I now recall that it was on a friend's fb page... A good friend of mine has a now-12yo who used to wet nightly. At age 10, they brought him to the doc for it because *he* was bothered by it (they never made a big deal). Doc said not to worry until he's into puberty and if it's still a problem, then they can try some other treatments. Surprisingly, he is NOT a sound sleeper--it was probably just the bladder-not-caught-up-with-growth thing.

My 6.5yo still wears a diaper, too. It's dry more nights than not, but he says he's not ready for trying undies-only yet. We limit fluids after 7pm (he's usually asleep by 9 or 9:30); at 8, he brushes teeth, pees, changes into pj's. At 8:30, I read a story, he pees again, I put diaper on, lights out. That will almost always be a dry night. It's when things are not routine, or dh forgets to make him pee again before the diaper goes on that he'll pee in the diaper (and sometimes he pees so much it leaks). He sleeps like the DEAD, so I'm pretty sure that's the issue--and I'm not going to worry about it unless he does.

He stayed the night at the neighbor's this past weekend and didn't bring any dipes (neighbor and others there are older and WOULD tease him, though I think he just wanted to feel "big") and I was literally up half the night worrying about him peeing and being made fun of...and he was DRY. whew. The other sleepovers were with close friends who have their own stashes of pullups & no one at those would have batted an eye (MAN I love my hs friends!!).

...someday we'll all look back at this and laugh at how worried we were, right??

eta: we are cheap and still use cloth diapers--they do NOT keep the skin particularly dry (they're 6 year old fuzzi bunz!) so that's not even waking him. He's a freaking corpse when he sleeps is all, I think.

LovingMyChildren
11-10-2011, 09:26 AM
Please let us know how it goes! Whatever strategy you take :) Sleep interruptions for kids (and mama's expecially too) are hard!!

kewb22
11-10-2011, 09:42 AM
My dd just stopped having accidents a few months after she turned 11. Around her 11th birthday she started having a few dry nights a week. She is a very deep sleeper.

Lou
11-10-2011, 10:04 AM
Some kids just take longer, might have smaller bladder, sleep deeper, hormones, etc...if you are 'concerned' you could take him to a doctor, but they will say something like age 7 is the longest, yada yada yada...but if there is an actual medical "reason" behind the bedwetting then you would KNOW and could rest easy knowing the reason.

So many books out there are written with social 'norms' in mind and not reality of life with children...so beware when you are reading something on it...take the information in, but don't beat yourself or your child up over it...so what if the child needs a diaper at night...

...my son has asked for a diaper at night because then he doesn't have to get up and out of bed in the morning, he can sleep in a bit longer...and I'm all for that! Here's your diaper bud, sleep in...have a nice one! :) My daughter on the other hand, loves her diaper so she can crap in it...yuck...I'm not all that thrilled with that reason, but I go with the flow.

Big believer in they come to these things in their own due time, no need to rush, no school to attend, no outside boxes to fit into...just let the children grow and develop at their personal pace and be who they are meant to be. :)

Lou
11-10-2011, 10:12 AM
Please let us know how it goes! Whatever strategy you take :) Sleep interruptions for kids (and mama's expecially too) are hard!!

our family has a famous family story that involves my dad waking me up to pee at night...he used to wake me up in the middle of the night and walk my sleepy self to the toilet to go...apparently one night I went...all over him...all over the wall (somehow, not sure how) and then I was taken back to bed, they cleaned up and I still wet the bed...soooo I just vote for the plastic bed cover and a rotation of sheets for us...ha, ha...

Best of luck in whatever method you choose...just looking at this thread it doesn't seem all that odd for some children to just take longer.

Gabriela
11-10-2011, 05:26 PM
The only thing that worries me is having his goolies suffocated all night, all these years.
I just wonder if it's not going to affect his sperm-count or something like that.
Does anyone know if this is a ridiculous worry to have?

crunchynerd
11-10-2011, 08:37 PM
If this helps, I was a bed wetter from 7 to 9 years old, every darned night, no matter what I did. I woke up and went to the bathroom when I was younger than that, and didn't wet the bed, but from 7 to 9, it was terrible. And here is my personal experience: I dreamed, every SINGLE NIGHT, that I urgently needed to pee, and woke up, went down a dark hallway trying to get to the bathroom in time, made it, sat down, and felt tremendous relief and thought "Thank goodness, I made it this time!" and right as I started peeing in the toilet, the tank tilted backward into a bed as I woke up sopping wet realizing with dread that my dream had tricked me again.
Not sure why it started, not sure why it stopped, but I definitely knew I needed to go, while asleep. I just only thought I was waking up. Somehow I was too deeply asleep. I suspect I was in too deep of a REM state to waken even when I felt that need to pee.

Lou
11-10-2011, 08:55 PM
The only thing that worries me is having his goolies suffocated all night, all these years.
I just wonder if it's not going to affect his sperm-count or something like that.
Does anyone know if this is a ridiculous worry to have?

do they produce sperm before puberty??? if not, then I wouldn't worry...and I think the warm bun hugger no-sperm thing is temp...fixable with a little air...anyone know for sure???

lakshmi
11-10-2011, 09:14 PM
I would like for the bw to end. The nighttime pull ups are expensive and the sheet washing is too much for me to deal with. We'd need two sheets per night. If I get the alarm (and it works) then the cost of it would be about five months of pull up costs.

Right now, being lazy, and buying pullups.

raegan
11-10-2011, 10:56 PM
pretty sure that there would have to be a sterility-level, systemic fever (like with mumps, for instance) for actual sterility to occur from a childhood issue. sperm is produced around the clock once puberty is reached; not like eggs that are there in utero.

meg, I've actually had sleep paralysis a few times--it is HORRIFYING. Your body sends signals to your muscles that you're in REM sleep so your body doesn't get up and act out whatever it is you're dreaming. But sometimes the signals are still there to paralyze your voluntary muscles even after REM--and it's terrifying when you're in a state of wakefulness but can't even scream or whimper, much less move. :shudder: Anyway. I've also had an episode of being tricked by a dream into peeing--I think I was 12 or 13. :/

Lou
11-10-2011, 11:48 PM
I've done that too...I love dreams...(not the ones that trick me into peeing the bed though) I normally know when I'm dreaming...I'm a big fan of altering my dreams and making them go the way I want...It's fun to part take in those wild magical dreams that could never happen in real life...If someone wakes me during one of my dreams that I'm dictating I get so angry and grumpy...I quickly send them off with a gruff and get back into my dream where I left off...hubby knows I'm REALLY NOT fond of being woken up from my dreams!...however, if I were to pee the bed, I'm guessing he would risk it! ha, ha...

Mum
11-11-2011, 09:09 AM
I'm not trying to freak you out, but I do want to encourage you to check in with your pediatrician.

My little sister had what we thought was a bed wetting problem for years until we discovered that she actually had a juvenile form of epilepsy. It would cause her to lose control of her bladder. Her seizures were nocturnal so we never witnessed them until a big one that knocked her put of bed.

As some other posters pointed out, sometimes bed wetting isn't an emotional or developmental issue. Sometimes it's the symptom of a medical issue.

Lou
11-11-2011, 09:12 AM
I'm not trying to freak you out, but I do want to encourage you to check in with your pediatrician.

My little sister had what we thought was a bed wetting problem for years until we discovered that she actually had a juvenile form of epilepsy. It would cause her to lose control of her bladder. Her seizures were nocturnal so we never witnessed them until a big one that knocked her put of bed.

As some other posters pointed out, sometimes bed wetting isn't an emotional or developmental issue. Sometimes it's the symptom of a medical issue.

It's generally good to rule out medical and if it is something medical to know what you're working with...I know I relax a LOT more about various situations when the doc has been informed...

Gabriela
11-11-2011, 11:16 AM
I would like for the bw to end. The nighttime pull ups are expensive and the sheet washing is too much for me to deal with. We'd need two sheets per night. If I get the alarm (and it works) then the cost of it would be about five months of pull up costs.

Right now, being lazy, and buying pullups.

This. Definitely. Especially because we have to wash by hand (no washing or drying machines in BananaLand).

Gabriela
11-11-2011, 11:25 AM
I'm not trying to freak you out, but I do want to encourage you to check in with your pediatrician.

My little sister had what we thought was a bed wetting problem for years until we discovered that she actually had a juvenile form of epilepsy. It would cause her to lose control of her bladder. Her seizures were nocturnal so we never witnessed them until a big one that knocked her put of bed.

As some other posters pointed out, sometimes bed wetting isn't an emotional or developmental issue. Sometimes it's the symptom of a medical issue.

That's scary. I'd never heard of that.
Although I've never seen him have anything like a convulsion, some weird things happen while he sleeps (for years he had what I think were night terrors, but not as bad as what other people describe). And ever since he was a baby, it sometimes seems like he stops breathing. We co-slept for 8 years (until very recently), and I somehow trained myself to sense when he stopped breathing (even when I was asleep), and give him a little shake. With the shake, he would start breathing normally again.

He's a really healthy boy, during the day anyway. We've never had serious health issues with him, except for some respiratory infections when he was 6mos.-3yo.
We changed his diet as suggested by a health-nut vegan friend, and have been bronchitis-free since.

We don't have medical insurance at all. The public hospitals where we live are scary, and I don't trust the doctors here. We would probably have to travel to another country if we wanted to see a specialist. Shit. We haven't even been to a check-up for over four years. Only dentists.

Mum, could you tell me if your sister had any of these things I mention?

And thanks again, everybody, for helping me out with this.

JennyD
11-11-2011, 02:40 PM
I am reading this thread with interest. My oldest is 6.5 and absolutely needs to wear a diaper at night; DH takes him (and one of his younger brothers) to the bathroom around midnight as well, but even so we still have pretty regular leaks. He is just such a very sound sleeper, and I have been wondering how long this might go on. My 3yo always wakes up and marches to the bathroom if he has to go, and has done so since he potty trained at age 2, so I have some confirmation that the older boy's bedwetting isn't necessarily just a Parenting Fail, but one always wonders :)

lakshmi
11-12-2011, 01:01 AM
This. Definitely. Especially because we have to wash by hand (no washing or drying machines in BananaLand). Thank you, you just answered a question that my daughter asked this evening. Well, sort of. We saw a washboard and she asked if ppl still used those. I said, I was pretty sure that in some parts of the world they still do wash by hand.

Also, google Sleep apnea and bedwetting to see what you get.

And no washer but internet? I love the modern world.

Elidani
11-13-2011, 02:55 AM
Well since everyone else is sharing... I was a BW until about 13, no diapers, just cold wet clothes and blankets. Around that age I learned how to control my dreams which sort of cleared up the problem. It doesn't work as well against true nightmares that I have, but that is a different subject. My DD was als a BW until about 10-11 I think it was. She seemed to just outgrow it. My DS hasn't wet since he was fully potty trained, except one time I think when he got really sick. Given personal experience, I'd say just rule out any medical problems and then just wait on it to stop or the child to figure out how to change it.

As for how I learned to control my dreams(if you think it may be of some use to your children): I would tell myself before going to bed that I was going to have wonderful dreams about XYZ. Then I would try to picture the most amazing wonderful things I could think of taking place. If at any time during a dream it started turning negative or I felt like I needed to use the bathroom, I would make myself concentrate on some happy thought. This worked fairly decent for the BW issue...I still have horrible nightmares that wake me up in terror though. Any advice on that one would be appreciated.

Lou
11-13-2011, 12:27 PM
I still have horrible nightmares that wake me up in terror though. Any advice on that one would be appreciated.

I wish I could tell you how to change that...I have NO IDEA how I learned to control my dreams...I have just always enjoyed dreaming and if it gets scary (like once I was shot in the mouth and all my teeth fell out) I just somehow turn it around in my dream...so when I'm not controlling it sometimes bad things happen, but I normally can redirect it...and on the occasions it's woken me up (like my kids drowning and I'd wake up before they actually drowned) then I would either stay away or go back into it with a plan to save them...Just not sure HOW or if it was LEARNED...I just thought EVERYONE'S dreams were like that...it wasn't until I was an adult that I found out not everyone controls their dreams...

Gabriela
11-13-2011, 12:44 PM
Yeah, my son definitely has intense dreams.
I hardly ever remember mine (they're usually about zombies).
But, I have heard several times that if, in a dream, you can try and remember to look at the palm of your hand (in dream), that you are suddenly able to control everything in the dream. My son knows about the technique, but hasn't managed yet. I personally know three people who say they do it all the time. They say it's awesome and that you can do whatever you want - fly to another country to visit someone, or turn a horrible monster into a friendly cat.

It sounds like you two (Elidani and M2) have enough control of your dreams to do this. If you give it a try, let me know how it goes.

Lou
11-13-2011, 01:45 PM
Yeah, my son definitely has intense dreams.
I hardly ever remember mine (they're usually about zombies).
But, I have heard several times that if, in a dream, you can try and remember to look at the palm of your hand (in dream), that you are suddenly able to control everything in the dream. My son knows about the technique, but hasn't managed yet. I personally know three people who say they do it all the time. They say it's awesome and that you can do whatever you want - fly to another country to visit someone, or turn a horrible monster into a friendly cat.

It sounds like you two (Elidani and M2) have enough control of your dreams to do this. If you give it a try, let me know how it goes.

Yeah I can fly...I don't know if I've ever looked at my hand ON PURPOSE??? Never heard that...I have looked at myself from an aeral view and watched myself in detail before, but not sure if I've studied my hands or body parts on purpose in a dream...???I do know that I LOVE laying in bed (and always have) half awake thinking about my dream and replaying it over in my mind and savoring the fun stuff...I get really grumpy if someone wakes me up fully when I'm enjoying that 'wake up' process of my good dreams. :)

There are times I just dream...I know I can change things, but choose not to because I like the dream or I want to see where it goes on it's own if that makes sense? I really love dreaming...and even the scary ones are 'interesting' enough to me to enjoy on occasion...I just don't dig dreams that involve my kids getting harmed.

Mom2AandE
11-13-2011, 02:08 PM
He still has to wear diapers to bed. We've never made a big deal of it, but he just turned 9 and I never thought it would go on this long.

More than bladder problems, I think it's just that he can't wake up to pee. He's a very deep sleeper.

Anyone out there with a child who went this long, or longer, with bedwetting?

Any suggestions?

I haven't read the whole thread, but I can tell you I had the same trouble with my son. The dr. suggested the Potty Pager. It worked within the week. My son was so happy to not have to wear pullups anymore. It was completely non invasive. THe way it works is it reprograms the brain to recognize the need to potty signals from the bladder. It wasn't cheap, I did have to buy the stronger model since my son was also a deep sleeper, but it was the best thing we ever did for him.

Mum
11-14-2011, 09:25 AM
That's scary. I'd never heard of that.
Although I've never seen him have anything like a convulsion, some weird things happen while he sleeps (for years he had what I think were night terrors, but not as bad as what other people describe). And ever since he was a baby, it sometimes seems like he stops breathing. We co-slept for 8 years (until very recently), and I somehow trained myself to sense when he stopped breathing (even when I was asleep), and give him a little shake. With the shake, he would start breathing normally again.

He's a really healthy boy, during the day anyway. We've never had serious health issues with him, except for some respiratory infections when he was 6mos.-3yo.
We changed his diet as suggested by a health-nut vegan friend, and have been bronchitis-free since.

We don't have medical insurance at all. The public hospitals where we live are scary, and I don't trust the doctors here. We would probably have to travel to another country if we wanted to see a specialist. Shit. We haven't even been to a check-up for over four years. Only dentists.

Mum, could you tell me if your sister had any of these things I mention?

And thanks again, everybody, for helping me out with this.


She had NO signs. She was healthy and happy in every other way. Seizures don't always look like the fancy ones on tv. Her head would gently tilt to the right over and over again and she would look like she was wiggling a little. She would also get out of bed a lot at night freaked without being able to explain to us why she was scared. My parents chalked it up to bad dreams and let her sleep with them a lot.

It wasn't until the big one that we knew something was wrong. They did an EEG and other tests. She stayed in the hospital for a few days for testing. She was put on an anti-seizure medication for children. She eventually outgrew it which the doctors predicted. This was almost 20 years ago. I'm sure there's been advances in diagnosing and treatment since then.

I understand the insurance problems. I hate that. I have to think twice about taking my kid's to the docs too. I wish I had better advice about finding medical assistance.