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MrsLOLcat
10-13-2011, 11:58 PM
My kids are out of school this week. We took a quick vacation and came back yesterday, but DH took the entire week off of work, so he got drafted to take DS to his swimming lesson and swim team practice today. He'd done the lesson thing a few times but this was his first experience with swim team. We attend the homeschool swim team practice time slot because the other time slot is from 7:30-8:30 p.m., and we live on the opposite side of town, so by the time we get home, run through the routine, etc., it's nearly 10 p.m. before he gets to bed... too late for my liking!

Anyway, DH came home today, walked in the living room, flopped on the couch, and announced, "I'm so glad you're a mom who happens to homeschool and not a 'homeschooler.'" I laughed, since clearly he meant it as a compliment, but then I wondered how this would have been taken by others. What do you see as the difference? Just curious.

Teri
10-14-2011, 12:03 AM
I don't think I would have understood it. :p

I do tell my kids all the time "go change your clothes, you are dressed like a homeschooler." But, I would use a "kid who homeschools" interchangeably in that situation.

CatInTheSun
10-14-2011, 12:34 AM
Don't know what he means, but maybe this will clear the distinction up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoSRfu5z_4

:D

MarkInMD
10-14-2011, 12:42 AM
I think maybe what he meant (and possibly what you got out of it) was that you come off as a person who places motherhood as the top priority, with homeschooling just one part of your identity, not an all-consuming part of it. That's what I take away from it. And yes, I believe it's a compliment, also.

Stella M
10-14-2011, 01:02 AM
I'd bristle and say "What do you mean you're glad I'm not a homeschooler ? What is that supposed to mean ?" and there's the evening gone.

farrarwilliams
10-14-2011, 01:10 AM
It would have rubbed me the wrong way as well... on the other hand, some of this may depend on your homeschool community. There are some (cough, religious, cough) homeschool communities that I can imagine if that was the norm in your area, your dh would have been saying he's glad you're not one of them, kwim? But as I'm close to a lot of my homeschool mom friends, I would have really bristled. I do sort of see myself as a "homeschooler" and not just someone who happens to homeschool. It's a whole way of life and I've kind of bought it hook, line and sinker.

lakshmi
10-14-2011, 01:53 AM
Don't know what he means, but maybe this will clear the distinction up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoSRfu5z_4

:D


Oh yeah.. thanks for that link. I got stuck in an opheliaBH infinite loop watching all her wacky videos. I even forgot all about this thread until I saw it again in my tab!!!

I'd say, I know, aren't they wacky! I can't believe the shite they say to each other. And I so would never hang out with them if it weren't for the children. All the same things that people used to say about non-smokers in the 80's

CatInTheSun
10-14-2011, 02:18 AM
Do us a favor and ask your dh what he meant, you know, sit next to him and with a smile say, "I've got to know, so what's the difference between a homeschooler and a mom who whom homeschools?" THen report back. LOL

My dh is a sweetheart, but amazingly good at putting his foot in his mouth. We still laugh over some of his more memorable faux pas, like when we were dating saying he liked how my bangs "broke up my long face" -- pretty much guaranteed to come up every time I get a hair cut ...for the rest of his life. :D (In a fun way -- being able to laugh at ourselves is an important part of our relationship.) I find it helps to assume they mean well. :p

Stella M
10-14-2011, 03:22 AM
I find it helps to assume they mean well. :p

So that's the trick is it ? lol

bristling and arguing semantics is fun.

Shoe
10-14-2011, 07:25 AM
Do us a favor and ask your dh what he meant, you know, sit next to him and with a smile say, "I've got to know, so what's the difference between a homeschooler and a mom who whom homeschools?" Then report back. LOL
Yes, please do.

I wouldn't make any distinction, but I'd be curious to know what he meant.

hreneeh
10-14-2011, 08:12 AM
My husband has said it to me but I know what he means. The homeschool co-op I belong to while secular in nature (run on the base) is 99.9% fundamentalist Christians and frankly they aren't a heck of a lot of fun to be around. Many of the children are mean and or out of control. So since that is my husbands only other relation to homeschooling he sorta sees it as wacky people and I happen to be a normal one in the bunch (I'm sure that the people in the co-op see it just the opposite).

dottieanna29
10-14-2011, 09:08 AM
I think maybe what he meant (and possibly what you got out of it) was that you come off as a person who places motherhood as the top priority, with homeschooling just one part of your identity, not an all-consuming part of it. That's what I take away from it. And yes, I believe it's a compliment, also.

Since we don't know anything at all about the swim team group that he saw, I would take it this way. Is it a rough group? Lots of obnoxious parents and/or children? Very competitive? Very fundamentalist? Although I suppose if there was anything obvious about the group, you would be aware of it and know what he meant. ;-)

dbmamaz
10-14-2011, 09:53 AM
See, i would assume he meant he's glad she's not a bunhead.

My older son is in a home school choir, but its a new location for this class, and there are only 2 kids right now. There were 4 the first day, but the other 2 were sisters. Their mom sat in the front row of the church (where the class is held, but its not religious program), with her lap top open, taking notes, sitting ram-rod straight. Her girls were quiet and meek and obedient. THey were all dressed modestly. She didnt return, saying the other location/time worked better for her, but I suspect she actually wanted her girls around other girls - the 2 others are both boys.

PBB
10-14-2011, 09:57 AM
Personally, I would take it as a compliment! I would assume he meant that being a homeschool mom is just part of a multi-faceted personality. Many of the HS moms I know are totally defined by homeschooling. They only associate with other hs families, it is all they talk about, they try to one-up each other when talking about their kids....it is exhausting to listen to them. Thankfully I only see most of these women at co-op.

zcat
10-14-2011, 12:25 PM
Anyway, DH came home today, walked in the living room, flopped on the couch, and announced, "I'm so glad you're a mom who happens to homeschool and not a 'homeschooler.'" I laughed, since clearly he meant it as a compliment, but then I wondered how this would have been taken by others. What do you see as the difference? Just curious.

I don't know. I think it is a weird thing to say and I would probably ask what someone meant by that.
I don't differentiate between homeschoolers and people who homeschool. Obviously there are a lot of different types of people who educate their children themselves for many different reasons but I see no need to label people differently because of how they look or act.

MrsLOLcat
10-14-2011, 03:02 PM
I *did* ask him what, exactly, he meant at the time, but I wanted to get your opinions before I added his input, just to see what the honest reactions would be.

His answer was along the lines of what many have expressed here... he's glad that I have friends/hobbies outside of homeschooling circles, glad that being a good mother is more of a priority to me than homeschooling (although that is definitely a huge part of our life now and I don't see that changing any time in the foreseeable future), glad that I'm not a bunhead, glad that I have a broad worldview, etc. DH is also glad that I consider each child as an individual and don't make blanket decisions about both our children based on my personal desires for their futures or my own convenience... apparently some of the boys on the team have been griping to my DS about how they hate swim team and don't want to be on it, but their parents sign them up and make them come anyway. This confuses DS immensely because I've never signed him up for an activity that he didn't express an interest in; I find it a waste of my time, energy, and money. Anway, there were several individual anecdotes to back up DH's statement, but one never knows who's going to read these forums, so I won't post them. He did talk to a couple of people who seemed, in his mind, more homeschooling PARENT than homeschoolER, and I found it funny that the people he preferred are the people I tend to chat with when I'm there.

I know that to some of the uber-Christian parents who are there (one once offered to pray over DD to "fix" her when I mentioned that she had a mood disorder), I'm probably the oddball, like hreneeh experiences, but mostly I think that DH is glad that I'm not an extremist in any form!