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gidamom
10-07-2011, 11:59 AM
I've mentioned that although diagnosed, I'm pretty sure ds has adhd :(

Some of you mentioned that telling him and talking to him about it might be helpful..do you all agree??

If so, any suggestions of reading, books, or things I could share with him to help himself??

skrink
10-07-2011, 12:19 PM
I've found that talking about it in broad strokes has helped my dd. She understands that she's different than a lot of kids, and giving her a reason for that has made her feel better. I think it's also helped her feel not so isolated - other kids have similar problems, too, even if it's not always obvious. Still, she doesn't like to talk about it too much. We have given her an overview and have found some resources to have available if/when she asks. She likes to mull things over and then come to them on her own time.

We've used Learning to Slow Down & Pay Attention. http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Slow-Down-Pay-Attention/dp/1591471559/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top It's a bit school-y, but then it's hard to find a book on the subject that isn't. Although it's geared toward kids I think I've gotten more out of it at this point than she has. I'd be interested to hear about what other folks are using.

Staysee34
10-07-2011, 02:01 PM
We are currently reading "Don't Behave Like You Live in a Cave" as part of our character education lessons. I intend to follow it with "The Survival Guide for Kids with ADD or ADHD" by John F. Taylor. It is specifically geared for 8-12 yr olds.

dbmamaz
10-07-2011, 02:38 PM
My sons dx's are pretty complicated, so it only occasionally made sense to talk to him about his specific diagnoses . . .but it was important to me to tell him about it, so he didn't just have this vague "something is wrong with me" feeling, but knew it was a real thing that had a name. For me, having a dx, not telling him seemed unfair . . . Wouldn't you want to know if there was a dx for your problem?

But often it was at a different level . . .like when he was at school, I'd say things like . . .learning to read was easy for you, but hard for some of the kids in your class. But learning to sit still or make freinds might be pretty easy for them, but really hard for you. Home schooling, it's not as big a deal since he isn't constantly being compared to other kids . . .we just focus on learning as much as he can in the ways that work for him. My younger one is doing 2nd grade English, but it's no big deal . .. He's advanced in math, but not ready for the English, so we do what works for him.

On the play ground, it's more about personalities. I explain to my younger one that some kids really like running all the time, but he doesn't. He likes talking a lot about game rules, but some kids don't. You either have to find kids who like to play the way you do, or do your best to play the way the other kids do.

Isn't there a book something like how fast does your engine run, aimed ad ADHD kids?

Elphie
10-07-2011, 02:57 PM
When my son was 12 we both read ADHD and Me by Blake Taylor. It was written by a teen with ADHD. My son really liked it and really felt like he could relate to a lot of what the author had to say. I really liked it because it helped me understand how my son was feeling since he could not put it into words himself.
http://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Me-Learned-Lighting-Dinner/dp/1572245220/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318013375&sr=8-1

My favorite way of explaining it to DS (and to his brothers since they were also curious about what ADHD is), "Your brain is like a really cool really fast sports car. It can do amazing things but only if you learn to control it. You have to slow down so it doesn't get out of control."

skrink
10-07-2011, 05:46 PM
My sons dx's are pretty complicated, so it only occasionally made sense to talk to him about his specific diagnoses . . .but it was important to me to tell him about it, so he didn't just have this vague "something is wrong with me" feeling, but knew it was a real thing that had a name. For me, having a dx, not telling him seemed unfair . . . Wouldn't you want to know if there was a dx for your problem?

But often it was at a different level . . .like when he was at school, I'd say things like . . .learning to read was easy for you, but hard for some of the kids in your class. But learning to sit still or make freinds might be pretty easy for them, but really hard for you.

Yep. Being able to name the problem was a huge thing for my daughter. It's been important for her to have an explanation and to know that she's not "weird and stupid". Sigh. And we've done a lot of talking about everyone having their own set of strengths and weaknesses, and how that's OK and how it makes life more interesting. I have to be careful going too far down that path, though, because she has a tendency to compare herself with everyone and with her black and white thinking that can go badly fairly quickly.