View Full Version : I don't want to go back to PS

speech mom
07-05-2011, 08:36 PM
And neither do my kids. Husband just announced that I need to go back to working in the schools and the kids need to go back to attending them. I am a speech language pathologist and have been treated like crud throughout my career by administrators that do not have my students' best interest in mind. My kids are square pegs in round holes. I have not been homeschooling them towards a return to public school. We are learning how to learn, not how to pass the standardized tests and wear the right clothes and make up. HELP. Anyone else have to go back against their will?

07-05-2011, 08:53 PM
Oh, i'm so sorry! One of the women in my home school martial arts class seems to be there. She wouldnt tell us the details, but told us its not her idea. She's a physical therapist and is sending her three kids to school in the fall. Is it financial, or something else?

Accidental Homeschooler
07-05-2011, 10:58 PM
I am sorry also. I would be very upset. When my first dd was an infant and we decided that I would stay home with her, my dh would sometimes get in a panic about finances and announce (I called them proclamations) that I needed to find a job. I so much did not want my baby in daycare. Does he have concerns that might have another solution?

07-05-2011, 11:10 PM
I'd like more info, too. If it's financial, I can relate, although we're in a position to make it work out in that I can work extra and take a backseat role in the homeschooling while DW moves into the prime teaching position in the fall. We're really stretching our dollars over the summer, but we're committing to homeschooling so we'll do what it takes. Is your husband using finances as a means of asserting his belief that they should be in PS?

Stella M
07-06-2011, 01:08 AM
Not exactly, but I am sending one of my children to school next year, which is pretty much what I don't want and absolutely what she wants. So I can relate to that feeling of "No!"

Isn't this something that should be up for negotiation ? Can your husband just 'announce' a decision like that ? I don't understand why he has an absolute say in a family decision ? If it's a money thing, are there other ways than this ? Part time work ? Weekend work ? Downsizing ?

Can you sit down and explore this with him ? The costs involved with you going back to work... After school and holiday care ? I guess the idea is to find his central concern and counter it.

Can you choose not to do as he insists ? You don't need to answer that here btw.

If my husband insisted, I'd insist he dealt with the consequences of his choice and be the one dealing with the school and the issues the kids develop there, the one leaving his workplace to collect sick or unhappy children. The one dealing with homework. And I'd also insist that I went back to work somewhere that treated me better than the schools.

If, for whatever reason, your husband can make that decision for you, I wouldn't despair. You can still have a learning rich environment at home, you can read them wonderful books, take them on outings/hikes, listen to music together and do all the fun h/s stuff on weekends. Just think of it as outsourcing the boring bits - the maths drills etc - and being free to focus on the 'fun stuff'. You could look at it from another perspective and focus on the liberation that comes from 'just' being Mom, not having to teach, being the good guy who can sympathise over the mean maths teacher.

You could read Guerilla Learning, which talks about shaping your child's education to suit them and you whether or not they are in the school system. It has some useful ideas about advocating for your child/ren in school.

I feel badly for you :(

07-06-2011, 11:22 AM
If my husband insisted, I'd insist he dealt with the consequences of his choice and be the one dealing with the school and the issues the kids develop there, the one leaving his workplace to collect sick or unhappy children. The one dealing with homework. And I'd also insist that I went back to work somewhere that treated me better than the schools.This. I've already made this perfectly clear with my husband. School vs. Homeschool is always open for discussion, but he knows that if he insists against my better judgment, then he will be the first go-to person when there are issues, while I pick up the slack. Not the other way around.

07-06-2011, 11:47 AM
If it was financial needs that was dictating the return to school, or if the child was wanting to return to school, I could understand. However, if it was my dh who was insisting the kids go to school for some other reason, he would be the one dealing with all the public school crap. Fortunately he totally supports homeschooling. The last couple years we've discussed putting the kids in school so I could return to work, but so far we've been able to avoid that move.

speech mom
07-06-2011, 12:19 PM
It is financial, but I am not 100% convinced he isn't using the financial as an excuse to return to school. His mom was just here visiting and she is very anti homeschooling and anti me being a stay at home mom, so that may play a part too. He doesn't ever make proclamations, so this was out of left field.

It costs me a lot of money to work. There are the usual wardrobe, child care, gas, etc costs. But, I also spend at least $1000 every year on materials because the schools I have worked in have never provided me with everything my students need. Gas costs are huge too because I have to run back and forth between schools. I am hoping to go through the finances and find the money we need. I figure I can rearrange some debt and discover some ways to cut costs. But would love any suggestions on ways to manage the home and schooling cost effectively. I am also trying to figure out a way to use my degree without having to go back into school based speech therapy. The caseloads are just too high and the stress levels are ridiculous. I went into the field to help people be able to communicate and ended up putting speech band aids on instead of truly helping.

I am very committed to homeschooling, so I will find a way to make this work. I am not sure he fully understands what it would mean for our children to go back to school. I think he sees that other children are successful in school and that ours are smart so they should be fine. One has anxiety, one has autism, and one is gifted. I worked really hard for years to make the school setting work for them. Epic Fail.

Does anyone on here work full-time and homeschool? part time? How do you make that work?

Any good cost saving ideas?

I am going to look into Guerilla Learning, thanks Melissa. Any other thoughts on how to transition if we end up having to go that route? We did not homeschool to state standards and benchmarks, so there are going to be some weird results on their standardized testing. I am more concerned with how to emotionally transition the to school if we need to and would love suggestions on that.

I wish I could tell him he would be the first go to person on any issues-sick kids, crying, homework, drama. Back in the day, we worked opposite shifts, so he has spent time raising the kids home alone. But, it amazes me the things he doesn't even notice. He has done amazing work helping our son to understand emotions, something that was a huge part of his autism diagnosis. The pms, moody teenage girl emotion thing is just completely beyond him though. I feel bad watching him try to understand it.

I feel like I am being pulled in half. I am going to do everything I can to continue homeschooling because I know that it is in the best interest of my children and my family. However, if we can't find the money, I have to have them ready to go back.

07-06-2011, 12:43 PM
A friend of mine is a speech therapist who worked for Early Intervention for a couple of years. She didn't homeschool, but had a lot of control over her schedule.

07-06-2011, 01:15 PM
Please consider doing slightly reduced price private therapy if you possibly can. I know that it is EXTREMELY hard in our area to find anyone who is familiar enough with autism aside from the early years for therapy. If you offered it at slightly less than the local "going rate" and have good references then it may be a good source of alternate income while still giving you good control over your schedule. Don't discount the option of doing therapy on weekends or in evenings either! How many working parents who *do* want the best for their kids would jump on the chance to not have to leave work to get the therapy they need?! If there was someone in your situation in my area, I would be all about trying to schedule some sessions to help us both out. I doubt I'm the only one with a similar thought process!

07-06-2011, 01:31 PM
Can you find a speech therapy job outside of the school system? Like Early Invention or a private company?

I would not respond well to proclamations - especially if I suspected it was MIL induced. I believe in equal partnership and sitting down and making a decision together, and we decide anything important together. In my house, neither one of us has "final say" - but I know that many houses aren't like that. If you don't feel it is right for you and for your kids I would fight to have my say.

Obviously you have been making it work this far, and there are significant financial costs to working outside the home that need to be a factor in the decision. I would personally want to know WHAT his rationale and reasoning are. I would want to discuss it and find out WHY he feels it is "better" or "necessary" And if he isn't willing to discuss it, I would simply not be willing to go anywhere. But I am a opinionated mule like that LOL

Accidental Homeschooler
07-06-2011, 02:23 PM
When my dh was making his proclamations about me going back to work it was the result of him worrying and worrying without saying anything until he hit panic. I actually started pantomiming unrolling a scroll while doing an impression of a trumpet. We did end up figuring out how to cut expenses (cell phones and cable tv for example). Part of the challenge for us was that much of our income is from freelance work and it keeps pouring in but once in a while dh looks ahead and the calendar isn’t full and he still worries, though not to the degree he did then.

If private practice isn’t an option or you need time to build it up I do have a friend who started doing afterschool care. We used to work together and she wanted to be home. I don’t know how much she makes and her son is in school so she picks them all up together. It seems to be working out well for her. The kids all play together and are picked up by five-thirty.

07-06-2011, 03:26 PM
It costs me a lot of money to work. There are the usual wardrobe, child care, gas, etc costs. But, I also spend at least $1000 every year on materials because the schools I have worked in have never provided me with everything my students need. Gas costs are huge too because I have to run back and forth between schools. I am hoping to go through the finances and find the money we need. I figure I can rearrange some debt and discover some ways to cut costs.

This is a great point to make with him if you haven't already, although you probably have since you thought of it on here. :) This was one of the things that DW and I wrestled with when we were considering rearranging things so that I worked more and taught less for next school year and she did the opposite. She'll be making less money, but our lives will be so much less hectic as a result, since I work at home and she's outside the house, necessitating a lot of dropping-kids-off and picking-kids-up rigmarole. She'll have a lot less in gas and school expenses (she's an OT in the schools). I can pick up a good bit of the slack in finances, though not all of it, if I'm not the primary teacher. And next year, with both kids being at home (up to this point it's just been one), I can't see being able to work and teach at the same time. Ergo, my life would get more stressful by making up work at weird hours, and hers would be just as stressful because she'd still be running around everywhere three days a week and doing errands the other four. It just made more sense for us.

Is there some similarity between our situation and yours? Personally I'd much rather have a happier, calmer spouse than a little more in the savings account.

speech mom
07-06-2011, 04:00 PM
My state does not require insurance to cover therapy for people with autism. That would be an awesome idea to provide therapy at a reduced rate. Around here it is about $100 per hour last time I checked. Many insurances don't cover articulation/speech therapy without a medical reason. I would love to be able to help families out and I own 4 huge bookcases full of materials, games, books, cards, toys, etc. I am going to have to figure out how to handle liability insurance and billing to see if it is an option. Maybe that is a possibility. I really enjoy working with families. I figure I am only with the child 30 minutes once or twice a week. If the family can tell me what they see the rest of the time, we can work together on things for them to do together to improve communication. When I worked with preschoolers, I usually included the parents. I only ever saw a handful of my high school students' families outside of the yearly IEP meeting. (and some families I didn't even see then.)

I have checked out the early intervention and private practices in the county and no one has openings right now. It is hard because of the funding cuts and insurance issues. Everyone has huge caseloads and could use more staff, but it is hard to pay them. There are some options in the next county. Parents there can afford to pay out of pocket for therapy. Which while it would be nice to have the insurance, 401K, etc. I would feel almost like I was abandoning the people here who can't afford it. And that brings me back to doing some kind of private reduced rate around here.

Thanks for the suggestions.

I need to sit husband down and we need to have a long talk. He just isn't a proclamation type and I am REALLY not the type to listen to proclamations. Honestly, I am more the one to make proclamations and then he waits a bit and talks to me about it. Something is going on here. I am wondering if it might be a financial worry looking ahead to the future? We had some huge credit card bills this month and this may just be an over reaction. We charged orthodontia and medical stuff because our insurance has us pay and then they pay us back (at their convenience).

It just all sits funny. I am still kind of shocked that he just walked up and said that I need to go back to work, they need to go back to school. It wasn't a we might need to, or a there is a possibility, or we need to talk about. Just this is what is happening.

Might be a silver lining to it all though. I am kind of feeling excited about maybe getting a chance to be a speech pathologist again and help people. I have tried for 9 years to get pt/ot/speech for my son, but the insurance says no because he has autism. I have been taking him in every couple years. Paying for the eval and getting home programs for me to implement. I would hate for someone else to have to deal with that and I am sure there are people in the same situation out there. My youngest needed some minor speech therapy for a frontal lisp. The schools couldn't provide it since she did so well in preschool they couldn't show her speech as having any academic impact. hmm, this could work.

Still going to really look at the budget though. I am pretty sure we can start trimming with the grocery bill. Husband doesn't like stocking up on sale items or using coupons, so maybe the kids and I need to take that task over. We have to have a super high speed internet connection for his work, maybe they can pay for at least part of that.

Now to figure out how to pay for school. I would like to unschool. The kids like more structure and books. We have created a family of curriculum junkies. They like Singapore math, so will stick with that unless there is something similar that is cheaper. I have been looking at Moving Beyond the Page. Huge price tag, but maybe just get the online curric and then hoping to borrow books from the library. Open to cheaper ideas there. Will have to hop over to that forum area. We may cut back on field trips. We have a science center pass, so may just hop to all the possible places that share that. We could probably do science and history using the library, internet, and netflix. I have spent so much of my life lesson planning that I was hesitant to do that again, but the kids would probably be a big help with finding stuff.

My biggest price tag is $360/month for dance classes for the family. This covers like 20 classes for us. The boy has processing problems, sequencing problems, low muscle tone, and poor trunk support (CP) He has made HUGE improvements with dance. I figure the price tag is huge, but it is actually saving money over what I would be paying for ot/pt for him to address the same issues.

Theresa Holland Ryder
07-06-2011, 04:11 PM
A friend of mine is a speech therapist who worked for Early Intervention for a couple of years. She didn't homeschool, but had a lot of control over her schedule.

This. My foster sister does this. She doesn't homeschool, but she does seem to have an enormous amount of control over her schedule and I think she's paid better and treated better than in school therapists.

Good luck, and I suggest finding some time to sit down and have a serious, no proclamations allowed, discussion about all this with your husband. My inlaws pretty much hate my SAHM and homeschooling too, but fortunately my husband is on our side and not theirs.

Theresa Holland Ryder
07-06-2011, 04:14 PM
Oh gah. Just saw your latest reply. Maybe the private practice thing can be worked out for you! *hugs*

07-06-2011, 04:14 PM
I think private work sounds like a winner -- good luck with that! TO be able to use your training and really feel like you are helping people...

You really can do hs on the cheap -- maybe take a year/semester focussing more on the 3Rs and good lit instead of expensive curric.

Your eldest is 13yo, right? Would she be able to watch her sibs if you were working PT?

Good luck! I think your dh is lucky you handled his nuttery so nicely.

Accidental Homeschooler
07-06-2011, 05:41 PM
I think sometimes, because I have never been the sole breadwinner for a family, that I don't always appreciate the stress involved. And I think sometimes dh forgets that I am here when he is stressed and just tries to cope with it on his own (so he doesn't worry me). That was really our problem in the beginning whey I quit working. I wouldn't know there was a problem and then he would get stressed to the point of "proclaiming" and I was totally blindsided. Maybe your dh confided in his mother and was acting partly on feedback from her.

Stella M
07-06-2011, 06:03 PM
You can h/s for almost nothing using the internet and the library. If you don't mind doing Charlotte Mason for a bit, Ambleside has a free, online curriculum.

Could you sit in on half the dance classes - giving yourself a dance tutorial - and rather than pay for the other half, replicate class at home ?

Good luck!

speech mom
07-06-2011, 11:12 PM
I have been the sole bread winner or primary bread winner many times. I think he may forget that I understand what that stress is like though. I guess I need to try to be more sensitive to that because I know what it is to feel like you are on the edge of a precipice and everyone is depending on you.

I was at the dance studio today trying to figure out how to handle that. The oldest is amazing and has a scholarship that she earned last summer that we can put towards classes, so that should really help. The girls both have $50 scholarships the got at recital this year, so that should help start the year too. I take a couple classes and right now the kids are all beyond my skill level in everything but ballet. And the oldest is WAY beyond me in everything! I am convinced that it is worth the cost though because I can see how their skills have grown and how much it has improved their self-confidence and self-esteem. How many girls are completely comfortable in their bodies and want to do everything they can to stay healthy? Mine got a lot of that from their dance teachers.

The oldest wants to start researching how she can save money at the grocery store.

Now, how to get the other kids on board with saving money? I don't want them to feel pressured to help, but want them to be part of the process.

07-07-2011, 05:22 AM
I think sometimes, because I have never been the sole breadwinner for a family, that I don't always appreciate the stress involved. And I think sometimes dh forgets that I am here when he is stressed and just tries to cope with it on his own (so he doesn't worry me). That was really our problem in the beginning whey I quit working. I wouldn't know there was a problem and then he would get stressed to the point of "proclaiming" and I was totally blindsided. Maybe your dh confided in his mother and was acting partly on feedback from her.

This is going to be a big deal with us this year. Already, because DW doesn't work over the summer, we've been feeling it, and several times I've had to be the bad guy and say "We can't buy/do that" because I know what the checking account looks like. To her credit, she's given me the right to say so if it's reasonable and not something that's a relative necessity, because she's already seeing me put in the extra hours just to cover the bills during these lean months of June-August. I don't tend to get stressed easily, but about money? Yes indeed, I do.

As for having your kids help with the money situation, something I like to do with my older son is to break down how many hours I or my wife have to work to buy the thing that he has his eye on, or even just on the electric bill or whatever. It kind of drives home to him the point of what work means in terms of the consumer market, I think, and that makes him into something of a saver.

07-07-2011, 08:34 AM
Sounds like you have the start of a plan. I definitely think talking to your husband about why this came up now would be a good way to start. Especially if this is an unusual way for him to behave. I also would not take a proclamation very well.

I have a friend who homeschools her children and is a speech therapist, previously for the schools. She does work through an agency that gives her referrals to clients. It's not EI, it might be a private practice. Are there doctors in your area who you might be able to work with that could give your information to parents who need some therapy but not enough to qualify for EI? Pediatricians, autism specialists, foster agencies....I'm not sure who else may be relevant. Around here to qualify for EI, kids must have more than one "issue". If that is the same by you, would EI be willing to refer those kids with speech issues not severe enough or not enough other issues to qualify? My son was in EI for speech from 3 to 4. He only qualified due to other behaviours at his evaluation and he was declassified after one year.

I totally understand what you are saying about the dance. My oldest has been dancing for 14 years and it has been an amazing thing for her - confidence, comfort with her body, exercise, good friends and of course, just the not sitting on her butt all day. We pay $466/month not counting costumes, shoes and competition fees. Last year when her dad was unemployed (we are divorced and each pay 1/2 her dance) she started working at the dance studio. She works the desk between classes, does paperwork, takes phone calls, empties trash and vacuums at the end of the night. It's not a position that needs someone there every second so it works around her classes and other commitments. She only makes minimum wage but it was enough to pay her dads 1/2 of her tuition all year. And she'd never find another job that works around her school, dance, cheerleading schedule so well and allows her to sit and do homework a lot of the time. Is it possible the studio may have some work you can do for them? Sitting at the desk while your kids are in class? Helping with paperwork? Cleaning at the end of the night? Even if they just pay you with reduced tuition, it could be worth putting in a couple hours when you would be sitting there anyway.

07-07-2011, 02:28 PM
As for getting the other kids on board with saving, just make it part of what life is for the family. When they want something, ask them to make a case for it - even if it's just that they really want it really badly :) They don't need to be in on the adult parts of the conversation but letting them know the cause and effect of spending is definitely not a bad thing. Make it part of a math or life skills lesson to look at what things cost and find out if there are cheaper ways to do it. If they have to think about how much they save by buying used items or using coupons, then you can also point out what that saved money can be used for. And don't forget it perfectly OK to say that saving X amount of dollars means that mom or dad can pay for the cable or phone or buy underwear! So many times I see people not really showing their kids what it takes to run the household and then get frustrated that the kids don't understand why they can't have what they want. I think for younger kids it needs to be framed in very factual terms so they don't feel the stress but they can still learn the information.

Also, I wanted to add (as others have) that you shouldn't just ignore or cave in to your husband declaration. You guys should really sit down and talk about what is causing his feelings and get to the real core of the problem. It could be something small when it comes down to it or it could just be that he doesn't feel like you guys are working toward the same end goal. If he is really just listening to his mother, then you may have more problems than homeschooling going on :(

Good luck and I hope that you can work out whatever solution is best for your whole family long term!

07-07-2011, 04:19 PM
Dh and I both choose to work PT so that we can spend the most time as a family. We've both taken our turns as sole breadwinner and as the SAHParent. As to the kids and saving, we convert everything into hours dh has to work to pay for it (net, not gross) and stress that it is a trade off between time with daddy and daddy being gone working to pay for it. They also know that being minimalists means I can do some consulting from home instead of working a FT job out of the home. In your case it may mean your being able to stay at home and hs. Mind you, we discuss this is an emotionally neutral way -- no guilt trips, just a lesson in basic finance. :)

speech mom
07-08-2011, 03:58 PM
Just got off the phone with three different people in the school district. Not one of them demonstrated even the most basic knowledge of autism. (Even more frightening since my son had been enrolled in the district for 3 years with the diagnosis.) They will not complete any assessments or meet to make any accommodations until after school starts.
They refused to entertain the thought of considering the work that my dd has done over the past 3 years at home when determining her grade level. The state says that chronologically she is a 3rd grader since her birthday is TWO days inside the window, so a 3rd grader she would be.
They didn't even want to talk about my 7th grade dd. "She will get her schedule in the gym the first day and will be fine, don't worry." Um, does she or I get any input in that schedule? Would you like any info on her skill levels or experience in any subject?

I am not here to knock public schools.
Just needed to vent a bit.

07-08-2011, 04:13 PM
No, thats pretty typical in returning to public school. They do it their way and you have no choice. Your autistic son wont get any services unless he fails his classes or is a disciplinary problem. Your advanced kids will have to prove to thier teachers that they are advanced, and if the teachers like them, they will be recommended for advanced classes for the next year, if they are available.

thats how it worked in my school district, at least. My daughter was actually not recommended for advanced math for 6th grade, but we got to override that since she'd been in advanced math in 5th. My older boy was in an advanced reading class in 1st grade and an advanced math class for 2nd grade, but there was nothing at all in 3rd grade. He did make it in to the advanced class in 4th grade, but only because his teacher and I both pushed for an oral instead of written evaluation of his verbal abilities . . . but then he failed out of the gifted program, where teachers clearly thought only the best-behaved and hardest-working kids should be given that priveledge.

I'm sorry, i shouldnt be complaining here . . . you do need to find out what's available, esp for your son. But it took way more fight than I had in me .. honestly, the woman i know who is fighting the hardest is getting screwed the hardest. She keeps having meetings cancelled last minute, and promised things which are taken away at the last minute. Wait, i know at least 2 moms that had that happen after fighting for things. Sigh.

You sure you cant work part time and stay home? So sorry!!!!!

07-08-2011, 04:24 PM
Having been a sub these past few years and working with several children on the spectrum, I can tell you that unless you're child is in a self-contained classroom, the faculty have no idea how to deal with it. As far as I could see, using my kids school as an example, the social worker and phychologist had not idea how to deal with these kids. And if you are a regular ed teacher, you were not given specific training. You just did the best you could. Sometimes the child would get a one on one aid or other resourse, but nothing specific to autism. It was very frustrating for the classroom teacher and the kids. In this day and age you would think that a district would be giving some general in-service classes to everyone, but they don't.

I had one girl, in second grade and tall, try to wrestle me to the ground. When I asked the prinicpal what should I have done (I was a lone, and by law I shouldn't have been), she said "Just do your best." What if my best was throwing the kid out the classroom door and locking it behind me? What if it was running out of the room myself?

I hope you can work it out and be home because I don't think your experience is anything new, unfortunately.

07-08-2011, 06:26 PM
I actually think the thought on working at the dance studio is not a bad one. I know ours does this with a couple of older kids, something to consider.

Oh my Jessica14 I'm speechless!

speech mom
07-08-2011, 07:41 PM
I still want to try to work from home or get something part time, but I am the type that does lots of research to cover all my bases and wanted to know what I would need to do to enroll them.

I would love to work at the dance studio, we practically live there. But, the owner has actually cut back the hours her staff works and covers the desk herself most of the time now. I guess there just aren't enough kids taking classes anymore. She is my best friend's mom though, so I will let her know I am available if she needs me.

I didn't really expect to be welcomed back to the school with open arms, but had hoped for something better.

07-08-2011, 10:05 PM
First, I am so sorry to hear the predicament just as everyone else on here is. It seems like you are really looking at your options and thinking all of them through. Also, like several have stated, I wouldn't take ultimatums very well from my husband or anything that is strongly influenced by my MIL. I'd be ready to scream. So, you really have my admiration for being calm, collected, and thinking this through (at least on-line you seem calm and collected!). You may have already done this but be sure to check your district's policy on grade acceleration/skipping. Whomever you talked to may or may not know the policy and may just be telling you what *they* want to be true and what makes their life easier.

Also, I'm not good at being the best money saver but am trying to be better. Some things we've done:
taken the tax credit for working at home (not sure all the details as I'm not the one doing the taxes but it seems your hubby needs highspeed internet so he must work from home part of time - this means you can deduct some things from your taxes - sorry I'm so vague on this one!)
Got rid of our land line and only use our cel phones.
Before we got rid of our land line, we used skype for all long distance calls.
use netflix and got rid of cable. Only a few times do we miss not being uptodate on the most current shows but we don't watch much regular tv so it doesn't really feel too bad.
Consignment clothes shops for some of our clothes and shoes (though we need to do this more!)
We live in a major metropolitan area that has a wholesale food group open to the public. We use it and freeze a lot because the quantity is so high - but doable.
coupons, coupons, coupons
we don't do traditional gifts (birthday, holidays), we do "experiences." So, our museum passes are birthday gifts from grandparents a, our zoo passes are christmas gifts from the other set of grandparents.
we also max out the temperature settings in our home - FL is tough is summer and we live at 78-80 degrees in the house. But we save a lot compared to our neighbors.
Gas saving tips: fill up your car when it is cool and when the temperature is cool because gas expands when hot - you get more for the same 'gallon' when it's cold, fill up your car when it's only 1/2 empty as the fumes coming off the gas are greater when it's lower and sloshing more. these extra fumes are created by taking away from the usable gas.

But - more importantly than these little things - you and your husband have to somehow come to an agreement that is mutually acceptable. If not, you will all be miserable. It is fun, however, to see your excitement about starting up your profession again - maybe only partially or more fully - but any crisis gives us both a sense of chaos and opportunity. Hope it's not too much chaos.

07-09-2011, 06:41 PM
Oh my Jessica14 I'm speechless!

Yeah I was pretty speechless myself. What I have learned from years in the public school (and I just posted similar on another thread) is that the teachers are often (not always of course) the ones who are trying to get help and are not given any because of policy or kids aren't failing enough or some other arbitrary rule imposed by the district. When I worked full time, a boy who needed speech was given a test he could pass so that the district didn't have to give it to him. They also had a limit to how many kids could get services so they had to weed out borderline kids.

I was getting very frustrated by what I saw even in subbing. Love the kids, not happy with how things were handled. I really had to get all of us out of there.