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bamagurl
05-13-2011, 03:23 PM
Hey I've been lurking for a couple of months and i'm finally irritated enough to post. I want to start hs in august instead of going back to ps. We have 2 boys, one in K and one in 4th. I thought I had hubby all talked into hs, but this morning he pretty much backed out!!! I'm so darn aggravated!!!
I have lots of reasons for wanting to hs which I'm sure many of you share, bullying issues, issues with just what the heck do they do with all that time all day, teacher issues, and why does my 4th grader not have any clue where ANY country or state is located?
My 4th grader is immature. He's really not, 30 years ago he would have been a normal kid, but nowadays kids seem to be 10 going on 18. (dates with girlfriends? really?) He's never bonded with one or two friends, he just seems to float, but he does get along well with other kids. I just worry about what peer pressure is going to do to him in the near future.
Both boys have been very sheltered, we don't have much drama around here.
And we live in supposedly a "good" system, however the middle school (yep I said middle school) just had a big drug bust!!!! I thought I was going to throw up! and I've been hearing stories of 4th graders with porn, and 6th grade girls making out with each other on the bus. not my babies!
I really think I could do a better job, not that we haven't had good teachers, but ya'll know! Ugh just needed to vent!

MarkInMD
05-13-2011, 10:00 PM
Maybe I can help a bit.

I waffled myself, but not for the same reasons that you seem to be hinting at (although maybe I'm wrong). I recognized that HS was the right thing to do, but I was concerned about two things: 1) the income hit that might result because I work full-time from home and my wife works part-time outside the home, meaning I'd be responsible for three days a week of schooling, which led to 2) questioning my ability to teach effectively. But knowing that this was the right thing for my kid(s), I jumped in.

You know what? I have no idea what I was so scared of.

I don't know if your husband is going to be a part of the education or not, but even if he isn't, here's my suggestion to bring him on board a bit (if you haven't already done this, that is). Men, in general, like to feel like they're making the decisions, or at least the decision is made with their "consent." (It's an unfortunate flaw of the Y-chromosome; forgive us. It comes in handy in other ways, though!) If there's a way for you to search out some curriculum choices, particularly in areas he might be stronger in, then ask him which one of those he thinks has more potential, that might make him feel more involved and invested in the outcome. It's pretty much what my wife did to me. And now look at me, I can't shut up about homeschooling!

I know what you mean about middle schools being terrifying places. We're in a rural area and there was still a prostitution ring at the middle school our kids would be going to in a few years. Nope! Not for us!

I hope that maybe what I've suggested will help. Just give him time and make it gradual for him. People (guys especially) tend to resist change. The slower, the better, and with the summer coming up, you've got the luxury of some time. Good luck!

dbmamaz
05-13-2011, 11:47 PM
My husband finally said he'd let me try, but made me promise to parallel the school's curriculum in case I failed and had to put the kids back in (which, from the sound of it, he thought was likely). But 3 mo in to it, he was pretty comfortable. Near the end of that first year, I pointed out that we had to either put Orion back in public school for 9th grade, or home school all of high school (due to VA's laws, its hard to drop in). He said ok, keep on home schooling!

of course, he thinks our youngest will go back for middle school, and I think high school . . . but we'll just have to see.

outskirtsofbs
05-14-2011, 04:54 PM
I pulled DD out of public school very abruptly. She was miserable, was being bullied, couldn't stop crying at the school(I think the crying is what ran off the very few kids that always said hi to her in the mornings). Anyway, DH really was not on board when I made the decision. I just knew in my heart that I had to get her out of that situation. I do agree with Mark wholeheartedly. Have some long discussions about curriculum, get him involved, etc. DH is now 100% behind me, especially with everything that is going on here within the school system. He can visually see that our child is excelling at her lessons and he knows that she is no longer being harassed by the mean kids. Our daughter has been very sheltered also. Good luck to you.

BackLitLeo
05-15-2011, 01:34 AM
I'm sorry he isn't completely on board. :( My suggestion, in addition to Mark's statements, would be to emphasize that you can take things a year at a time. My DD is wrapping up K. Saying that I'll homeschool her through high school is just not something I can think about right now. But yes, we're going to continue to homeschool for first grade. If it's a major fail, we can always send her to PS. They simply have to accept her; it's the law.

Has he told you why he is feeling ambivalent about homeschooling? Identify the fear and come up with a solution together. If he's afraid that your child will be socially awkward, you can talk about joining play groups or a co-op. Or you could show him some research about how well homeschooled children do socially and as a part of society as a whole. Let him meet some fellow homeschoolers. Is he worried your child will fall behind academically? Address that by looking at curriculum together or by looking at more of that lovely research. ;)

Good luck!

MarkInMD
05-15-2011, 09:53 AM
Those are great suggestions, too. I'm going to generalize again, so feel free to ignore me if it's not true in your specific case :), but just remember that men tend to respond better to facts over feelings. I like a good chart or research study over a gut feeling.

Pilgrim
05-15-2011, 10:11 AM
Men, in general, like to feel like they're making the decisions, or at least the decision is made with their "consent." (It's an unfortunate flaw of the Y-chromosome; forgive us. It comes in handy in other ways, though!) If there's a way for you to search out some curriculum choices, particularly in areas he might be stronger in, then ask him which one of those he thinks has more potential, that might make him feel more involved and invested in the outcome.

Yup. We like to feel we've made the decision or had some hand in it. (My wife does this to me all the time, and it works. :rolleyes:) On the flipside, we hate being told what to do, being talked down to, and not asked our opinion. Not saying you do this, but just something to keep in mind.


but just remember that men tend to respond better to facts over feelings. I like a good chart or research study over a gut feeling.

Again, I'll second that. Charts, numbers...things we can digest and make sense of...it has to be logical.

Good luck with getting him to come around, Bamagurl.

05-15-2011, 10:25 AM
Bamagurl, can you say a little bit more about your husband's specific objections? You've gotten some terrific feedback, though. I'm just wondering if there is something specific we could address.

My husband was on the fence but agreed to try it for one year. He also wanted us to parallel what the ps would be doing with our son "in case we need to put him back in ps". A few months in, he was totally impressed with how much our son was learning. And not a week goes by that we don't have some realization about how great it is to live at our own pace, not have to wake up early, rush out of the house, fight the homework battles each evening.

One conversation that helped, I think, was we both talked about our own public school experiences. Was your husband happy with how he was educated? Did he feel the academics were what he wanted/needed to learn? How about the system as a whole? The rules, the scheduling, the teachers and administrators? My husband had a lot to say about all of that, most of it negative, so I think that was a turning point for him in accepting the homeschooling option.

Plus he knows that once I get an idea in my head I am [I]very, very[I] focused and it is futile to resist, so its best to just let that run its course. :p

Good luck. Keep us posted.

CatInTheSun
05-15-2011, 11:23 AM
Yup. We like to feel we've made the decision or had some hand in it. (My wife does this to me all the time, and it works. :rolleyes:) On the flipside, we hate being told what to do, being talked down to, and not asked our opinion. Not saying you do this, but just something to keep in mind.

Again, I'll second that. Charts, numbers...things we can digest and make sense of...it has to be logical.

Gotta point out that women HATE being told what to do, being talked down to, and not having our opinion asked just as much as men -- it's just that a lot of women put up with being made to feel incompetent because they accept "their lot" and put social harmony over their own feelings. But don't for a minute think the need to feel valued, respected, and relevant in your own life is a "gender thing"! ;) THe more women get educated and work in "traditionally male fields" the less they put up with that BS. :D

I do agree that most men respond best to a logical reasoning whereas most women respond most to (and use) an emotional one. You don't need to exclude the emotional reasons, just broach them as facts (women often leave these unsaid thinking they are obvious): "I feel very strongly that this is best for our child." "It is important to me to try this." Those emotional reasons may not carry a lot of clout with the guy, but it will help you feel that you are heard and put him on notice to take this seriously and get his full attention. (lest he ends up sleeping on the couch)

I'd also suggest trying to approach the discussion as a "team" thing rather than a debate. Sit down and discuss the pros/cons of both options. Don't interrupt or argue a counterpoint (yet), just get them all out, best onto a piece of paper. Be willing to start by listing YOUR concerns with hs as well as the benefits you see. Then talk about each point. Do your research -- have on hand facts like growth of hsing (it's not as rare as it used to be), hsing law in your state, support options available, published studies on socialization (if that's an issue for him), etc. If there is a point important to him, you might say, "I see this is important to you. What info do we need to find out to evaluate this? What might we do to address this? IF we hs, what could we do to make you feel more comfortable about that?"

If he agrees to a one-year trial, discuss what criteria you will use to determine whether it was successful. How often will you check in to see what works/doesn't. If he agrees, also stress that you really need to have his 100% support for the trial period, so any doubts he has the first couple months he better swallow. :x I would encourage him to be involved, even if it is just running the science experiments on the weekends or giving the spelling tests (making sure dc will shine during them, of course, lol).

If he's really can't agree with full hsing, how about enrolling in a VA in your state? You would still be "schooling at home" and depending on the state the hoops can be aggrevating, but he might be more willing to put his trust into a public VA or online option. They have oversight, social opportunities, and don't forget the materials are free, too. I used a VA for my first 2 years of hsing and it was a nice way to get my feet wet and build up my confidence. I love full-on hsing much more, but I wouldn't be nearly as comfortable if I hadn't gone the VA route to start. Just another option to get dc out of the ps environ.

Good luck!

ETA: you might have better luck if the discussion is about goals for kids' ed and whether ps is meeting those goals, and if not what other options there are...rather than "should we homeschool". Start big picture. Dh might have in his mind a roadmap for personal life (esp if his ego is more tied to work) that goes something like: get married, have kids, send them to ps (ie, kids out of the home most of the day and reduced responsibility), send them off to college, then show up for the weddings. What you are suggesting upsets that plan. He needs to find a new vision. :)

Lou
05-15-2011, 12:17 PM
my husband wasn't on board fully at first either. He is very much a fact vs emotion person, however a few 'emotional guilts' helped. My weapons of choice: articles, books, pointing out any positive homeschooling & negative traditional schooling bits.

He KNEW I was ready and capable to homeschool. He was just worried that our kids would turn out quirky or weird...and the truth is our son is not main stream, never has been, not likely he ever will be. Like your kids, he would of been great back in the day, when kids were more innocent. So I brought up the question what would happen to him if we stayed in traditional school? Bullying? Seek Drugs? Our son's self confidence was already shrinking because he wasn't a perfect fit.

He agreed to starting in the fall, and teaching what he would learn in school, so if he had to go back to traditional school, he could without a problem. AND he agreed to taking it ONE YEAR at a time. I agreed on his terms. THEN lucky for me, the situation got worse at school and upset my husband enough to say "PULL'M" (however, I think he was thinking maybe we pull them and HS the rest of the year and my wife will want to send them to school by the fall???) and so we pulled our kids in Feb.

During this time (from Feb to now) my hubby would mention homeschooling to various co-workers, etc...and he started to 'run into' LOADS of people that homeschooled their children, had positive things to say about it, had successful adult children in college, in careers, etc... Seems like homeschooling is a secret club, that no one really mentions, but if you homeschool, they all come out of the wood work and want to talk about how great it is!

My father in law (hubby's dad) was one person we thought we'd get some rift from, but he gave us a check for curriculum instead and said he wanted to contribute to their education in any way he could! I think having my FIL be so open to it, helped my hubby feel better about homeschooling too. I should mention I talked with my FIL privately on my own before my husband did, so I could bring up the positive points and see where my FIL landed. Apparently a local independant school had spoken at his rotary and explained "homeschooling" to him. (however, it isn't the same homeschooling we do...he learned about the independant study program, but it worked in our favor)

LOL :cool: My hubby just walked in and I asked him if he had suggestions or something to add...he said "sex helps" :rolleyes: gees...men! Then he said: oh gees, I don't know, it's such an individual thing, what are his concerns, she should address his concerns directly with some information that sheds light and builds his confidence in the areas where he is concerned. Then as he left the room, he adds again, but a lot of sex helps too. :cool:

You have the summer to 'homeschool' the kids and 'show' your hubby how it would go..bring up all the positive points as they come up each day. Have your kids talk about how they would like to homeschool, etc. FYI ~ kids that have been IN traditional school settings do have some transitions to make from school to home that might get in the way and have points for your hubby's concerns, so make sure to find out his concerns and address them the best way you can.

Another thought I think someone else mentioned, but want to bring it up again...is you might be able to sign up for the independant study program thru the public school as a gateway. That way your kids are learning what the school thinks they need to learn, your hubby might be satisfied that checking in with the school once a week is good...then you have bought yourself a year to allow him to adjust to homeschooling. Just a thought...that was my original plan until I convinced the hubby of the flexibilty and how great it would be, yada yada yada...and then showed him how NOT flexible that independant program was (once he was mostly on board) .....Evil ways at work in my house...homeschooling brainwashing at it's best! hee, hee....(insert evil grin)

albeto
05-15-2011, 01:58 PM
Those are great suggestions, too. I'm going to generalize again, so feel free to ignore me if it's not true in your specific case :), but just remember that men tend to respond better to facts over feelings. I like a good chart or research study over a gut feeling.

Ime, my dh was far less impressed by my fears of school than he was impressed by positive reasons to educate at home.

jessica14
05-15-2011, 08:19 PM
I could have written this myself! I'm very gung ho about this but DH is not. He thinks I can do a good job teaching them, but the kids have had a lot of positive ps teachers and experiences so why change anything now. There are numerous reasons why I want to do this and he gets it but has a lot of fears. I don't have any real advice, but I have told him that I am committed to this for a year and then we can go from there. I think that way, he sees a way out. As far as I'm concerned, I, like you are much more concerned not about 2nd and 3rd grade but the 5/6 building where miost kids are great, but the ones who aren't are not handled well and "ISS" or In School Suspension is the dumping ground for every infraction when the teacher just doesn't want to deal and administrators just won't help or back them up. I really see my DS lost in that and I want no part of it.

Good luck to you! I hope he changes his mind!

Pilgrim
05-15-2011, 11:17 PM
Gotta point out that women HATE being told what to do, being talked down to, and not having our opinion asked just as much as men -- it's just that a lot of women put up with being made to feel incompetent because they accept "their lot" and put social harmony over their own feelings. But don't for a minute think the need to feel valued, respected, and relevant in your own life is a "gender thing"! ;)


Certainly didn't mean to imply that. I was just trying to underscore the male's point of view. You know, short-sighted, foot-in-mouth sort of stuff. ;)

I'll also say that while DW is 100% confident, I am the one with doubts from time to time. I'll be doing the teaching, so that's part of it, but I also crave reassurances in the form of numbers and charts, etc.

Both kids have been doing very well in PS the last several weeks, which I admit does give me pause. However, like others, it's not these younger grades that I fear so much as it is the middle grades (DD will be in 4th next year) for all the reasons others have stated.

Persikka
05-16-2011, 02:54 PM
I like hear the male point of view (fact/figures vs emotions. My husband and I are right now in the midst of "what to do in the fall". I'll be looking up information like that to help press my argument to continue HSing come fall.

We pulled out oldest out of school (first year of middle school - so 6th grade for us) at the end of march, due to bullying turning physical. (So with all those middle school fears, yeah - we were living 'em). Right now she'll either be HSing or in a private school in the fall. On the fence about the private school, because i rather use the cost of there to go into stuff to teach her at home, as well as continue to be home for my other children (originally the plan was I would return to working in the fall, as all our children would be in school full time). NOT that i have an issue working, but DH doesn't want me to work evenings/nights/weekends cause we'll never see each other and i reuse to put the kids in day care for the couple of hours/days that PS isnt in session (between day care and private school, my pay wouldn't go much further, so why pay someone else to teach and tend to my children when I can?). Anyways, that's our argument over HSing right now and not my ability or lack there of to teach our child

dbmamaz
05-16-2011, 03:20 PM
You know, at 13, your middle school daughter could babysit . . . if you think she can handle the kids and you live in a safe neighborhood. Due to bad aftercare problems, I actually had my son coming home alone for 45 minutes when he was 9 - i would call him, make sure he had a snack and walked the dog, and then he'd play video games until his sister came home.

bamagurl
05-16-2011, 05:05 PM
Thanks for your replies! I think his main issue is there aren't that many normalish people around here that hs. Hopefully some will come out of the woodwork.
We live in a very small town that dh grew up in and everybody knows everybody cause they all went to school together! However I tell him that its COMPLETELY different than 30 years ago. I have volunteered a lot at their school, so I know what's happening at the school. And its all about football and baseball. Neither of our boys play organized sports, (lots and lots of play time outside without 30 adults yelling and telling them what to do at our house!) I have heard that the high school follows the teams and if they're playing well forget school!
And I know his family will be like WTC??? She's going to ruin those kids! And on my side there is a semi-unsuccessful hs story, however his mother is crazy and he has held down a full-time job for a couple of years now, and isn't a drug addict so he probably turned out the best he could be anyways.
I made a deal with the boys that we would do a unit study this summer to see how it goes. We live very near where the tornados hit so we've all been very interested in the weather lately, so I think we'll do one on weather as our trial. And I think I can make it work for a 1st and a 5th grader.
Yesterday I made the same deal with dh, so we'll see. I'll tell the boys to really pay attention so we can show off to everybody! lol!
We're going to take June off and then start after July 4th with our mini-school project.
Dh says they mostly just don't want to go back to school and I'm sure he's right, but I know during a 45 minute car ride they told me all the stuff they want to study! So if this goes forward, we're going to do a whole year of chemistry for both.
m2wandc, Ifall else fails I'll try your way! lol!

Lou
05-16-2011, 07:53 PM
Thanks for your replies! I think his main issue is there aren't that many normalish people around here that hs. Hopefully some will come out of the woodwork.
We live in a very small town that dh grew up in and everybody knows everybody cause they all went to school together! However I tell him that its COMPLETELY different than 30 years ago. I have volunteered a lot at their school, so I know what's happening at the school. And its all about football and baseball. Neither of our boys play organized sports, (lots and lots of play time outside without 30 adults yelling and telling them what to do at our house!) I have heard that the high school follows the teams and if they're playing well forget school!
And I know his family will be like WTC??? She's going to ruin those kids! And on my side there is a semi-unsuccessful hs story, however his mother is crazy and he has held down a full-time job for a couple of years now, and isn't a drug addict so he probably turned out the best he could be anyways.
I made a deal with the boys that we would do a unit study this summer to see how it goes. We live very near where the tornados hit so we've all been very interested in the weather lately, so I think we'll do one on weather as our trial. And I think I can make it work for a 1st and a 5th grader.
Yesterday I made the same deal with dh, so we'll see. I'll tell the boys to really pay attention so we can show off to everybody! lol!
We're going to take June off and then start after July 4th with our mini-school project.
Dh says they mostly just don't want to go back to school and I'm sure he's right, but I know during a 45 minute car ride they told me all the stuff they want to study! So if this goes forward, we're going to do a whole year of chemistry for both.
m2wandc, Ifall else fails I'll try your way! lol!

Sounds like you live next door to me....our high school is ALL ABOUT FOOTBALL and other sports...but seriously you would think the HS football field was a professional field! Our local PS HS has ...drum roll...4 gyms, a pool, tennis courts, full track, pole vaulting, disk throwing, etc field, three baseball fields and they still ask for MORE MONEY TO BUILD A NEW GYM...seriously...I crack up every time I see that request asking for more money to build a new gym...they have FOUR...when I went there, they had ONE and seemed to be doing just fine. And of course the not so great students who are great sports players get pushed on thru just because.

My personal advice would be charm him with your clever ways and then drop little hints here and there pointing out good points and/or brainwash your children to hate PS and whine about it...then he can have the whole family begging him to homeschool...hee, hee...unconventional, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...ha, ha....

bamagurl
05-17-2011, 09:06 AM
Well this morning Little Bit was crying about how he didn't want to go to school! With no prompting from me, I promise! Yesterday EVERY body in his class got their apple pulled for talking during lunch. Really? Really? These are KINDERGARTENERS! Come on!

Eileen
05-17-2011, 11:14 AM
Something that helped bring my husband around (he is a public high school teacher, btw) was hearing it from someone else. He had started to come around a little bit when he saw how unhelpful the school was with my daughter's giftedness and ADHD issues, and then some great bit of luck happened and he met a woman who is involved in a homeschooling co-op when he was at a conference. It did annoy me a bit that he trusted the opinions of some stranger more than mine (OK, it annoyed me quite a bit, actually), but I can live with that because it somehow brought it more into the realm of the real world for him.

rumbledolly
05-17-2011, 12:27 PM
My DH was not and still is not fully on board and we're going on our fifth month of home school. You mentioned some of the same issues Bamagurl that I had, primarily bullying and kids not able to be kids (4th graders with porn OH MY).

I have found like Mark stated - my husband works with facts over feelings. His big hang ups are the financial hit we've taken and whether my DD is taking advantage of the situation and not working up to her potential - though he agrees that PS is not necessarily a place where she was doing it - she was bright and polite and we both believe on occasion she just got by on being a 'non' problem child.

We agree on the bottom line which is what is best for our child. Lately our joke is that I'm passing 6th grade with flying colors but we're not so sure about our DD. She has times where she puts in just enough time and effort so we don't get upset with her. Other times I want to hug and kiss her because she'll start talking about something she learned at home. Yesterday it was anti-matter. I'm not sure we actually got the concept but we can certainly bluff our way around a conversation!

I say give him time to fully come around. I know right now my husband has said things in passing about being glad she's not going to have to deal with mean girls in Jr. HS. So it sounds like he's more on the dark side with me than before!

Of course the minute he comes home today I'm going to tell him what I read here about porn, drugs, and making out on the bus............one has to add fuel to the fire once in awhile! :p

rumbledolly
05-17-2011, 12:39 PM
Well this morning Little Bit was crying about how he didn't want to go to school! With no prompting from me, I promise! Yesterday EVERY body in his class got their apple pulled for talking during lunch. Really? Really? These are KINDERGARTENERS! Come on!

Though my DD is older this was a common thread at her school. It didn't happen as much to the older kids, but the staff hated noise in the lunch room so their way to curb it was to do the same type of thing. I was a long-term sub at the same school. So often I get my whole class list handed to me after lunch when I wasn't on duty. Yeah right, every kid was "bad" and needed to have their frog moved from the good side to the warning side or bad side......like hell! I should point out my K kids in the fall didn't have lunch until after 1pm and did NOT have a morning recess (we only paused for about 10 minutes for snack and bathroom) and recess was after lunch at 1:25pm. If I was a basket case by that time how do you think 5 & 6 y.o's felt?

It's funny because we came from a small school when we moved to this state/town. Her old school didn't allow the lunch room to be loud - the room was very small, but they could talk to each other, just not shout across the room. When the rule was explained at the beginning of every year it was very unusual to hear anyone yell or anyone being yelled at. I believe it was based on mutual respect. The teachers who generally had lunch duty at the school we pulled her out of seem bitter about having to do that particular duty and seem to take it out on the kids. Very petty!

hockeymom
05-17-2011, 02:16 PM
The teachers who generally had lunch duty at the school we pulled her out of seem bitter about having to do that particular duty and seem to take it out on the kids. Very petty!

I had the same feeling in the school where I taught K. We don't have lunch rooms here so the kids eat in the classrooms. On the rare occasions the principal couldn't justify letting the kids out to play after lunch (like, if it was below -19), the teachers would be visibly angry because it meant they had to stay in too. It was truly awful to be around, to see how clearly they loathed the kids. :(

Lou
05-18-2011, 12:43 AM
I had the same feeling in the school where I taught K. We don't have lunch rooms here so the kids eat in the classrooms. On the rare occasions the principal couldn't justify letting the kids out to play after lunch (like, if it was below -19), the teachers would be visibly angry because it meant they had to stay in too. It was truly awful to be around, to see how clearly they loathed the kids. :(

It's sad when teachers resent the position they choose and the innocent pay. :( Teachers are human and need a break now and then too...but if majority of the time the teacher isn't fond of being around other people's children, then that person has clearly choosen the wrong profession and should move on down the road to a new career! :/

Stella M
05-18-2011, 01:11 AM
My dh didn't need much convincing after I pointed out to him how he'd never need to sit through an hour long Easter Hat parade again if we homeschooled :) Also, I said I was 'just trying it out'. Which I was. I just haven't finished trying it out yet. He didn't have great school experiences ( Christian Brothers, say no more ). I imagine it would be more difficult with a dh who had great memories.

bamagurl
05-18-2011, 08:01 AM
The porn problem was at a Christian private school, if anybody's dh is pushing for that! ;) There are so many teachers obviously marking time until retirement. When Big Boy was in 2nd, his teacher was constantly out because her child was playing a sport at college. Sure you want to support your own child, but what about these 20 kids you made a commitment too?? And heaven forbid we stay out cause we want to, but the teachers get NUMEROUS personal days! So dang aggravating!
I think dh is scared of stepping outside the system, but heck it ain't working that great for us right now.
Bought the Intellego Weather unit yesterday, we're going to start that a couple weeks after school gets out as our "trial". Since the tornadoes hit very, very close to our house (we had lots of debris in our yard), I think the kids will be very interested in this unit, and hopefully we'll really show out to dh!

Lou
05-18-2011, 10:53 AM
The porn problem was at a Christian private school, if anybody's dh is pushing for that! ;) There are so many teachers obviously marking time until retirement. When Big Boy was in 2nd, his teacher was constantly out because her child was playing a sport at college. Sure you want to support your own child, but what about these 20 kids you made a commitment too?? And heaven forbid we stay out cause we want to, but the teachers get NUMEROUS personal days! So dang aggravating!
I think dh is scared of stepping outside the system, but heck it ain't working that great for us right now.
Bought the Intellego Weather unit yesterday, we're going to start that a couple weeks after school gets out as our "trial". Since the tornadoes hit very, very close to our house (we had lots of debris in our yard), I think the kids will be very interested in this unit, and hopefully we'll really show out to dh!

one thing a friend of mine did when her hubby was not thrilled with their homeschooling adventures. (not exactly the same situation, but similar & a nice point to bring up) She talked with her kids right before dad got home from work. She would talk with the kids about all the 'exciting' learning they did that day and asked them questions to help them think and relive it all...then when dad got home from work, the kids took whatever 'worksheets' they did and started talking to him about their day and all they learned and their excitement during it all...etc...

So yes my friend pumped her kids up a smidgen before dad got home...but dad throughly enjoyed hearing about their day and when he saw the learning and excitement in them, he no longer nagged about how homeschooling wasn't teaching the kids anything. :)

MarkInMD
05-18-2011, 11:35 AM
Brilliant work by your friend. That would definitely have worked with me (although since I work at home, my wife couldn't have tried that one!).

Lou
05-18-2011, 12:59 PM
Brilliant work by your friend. That would definitely have worked with me (although since I work at home, my wife couldn't have tried that one!).

Ooooo a quick pep talk on a nature hike or drive around the block before Dad's ready to switch hats from office guy to family man...it's possible...she would have to get creative, but that is when creativity blooms...hee, hee...(a challenge is always fun IMHO) :) Yet, you're fully on board with homeschooling, so there really isn't a need to convince you it's working. :)

Kalani
05-22-2011, 05:54 PM
Though my DD is older this was a common thread at her school. It didn't happen as much to the older kids, but the staff hated noise in the lunch room so their way to curb it was to do the same type of thing. I was a long-term sub at the same school. So often I get my whole class list handed to me after lunch when I wasn't on duty. Yeah right, every kid was "bad" and needed to have their frog moved from the good side to the warning side or bad side......like hell! I should point out my K kids in the fall didn't have lunch until after 1pm and did NOT have a morning recess (we only paused for about 10 minutes for snack and bathroom) and recess was after lunch at 1:25pm. If I was a basket case by that time how do you think 5 & 6 y.o's felt?

It's funny because we came from a small school when we moved to this state/town. Her old school didn't allow the lunch room to be loud - the room was very small, but they could talk to each other, just not shout across the room. When the rule was explained at the beginning of every year it was very unusual to hear anyone yell or anyone being yelled at. I believe it was based on mutual respect. The teachers who generally had lunch duty at the school we pulled her out of seem bitter about having to do that particular duty and seem to take it out on the kids. Very petty!

At my daughter's school they chose to take away indoor recess (the kids would go back to their classroom on rainy days) because of a few kids being loud. Needless to say, I was pissed.

My husband is in full support but unfortunately my Mother, Father and sister are extremely against me homeschooling my own kids. I wish they'd get away from their hangup about "normal" Yes I'm weird, yes my kids are weird....get over it!

Persikka
05-22-2011, 10:40 PM
My husband is in full support but unfortunately my Mother, Father and sister are extremely against me homeschooling my own kids. I wish they'd get away from their hangup about "normal" Yes I'm weird, yes my kids are weird....get over it!

I hear you there! While both my parents are already deceased, we visit my in-laws at least once a month when the weather is decent (I hate NY snow driving far distances). My MIL decided to surprise my daughter with asking her about needing to take NYS testing... i was happy to info her of the NYS homeschooling regulations (no testing this year, unlike her peers who will have testing yearly). They didn't dare question our homeschooling (to my face anyways) after that. My own brother and I haven't talked since our blow up on facebook when i posted a note to let family know what was happening (pretty much the only reason I stay on there). Apparently I'm a terrible mother and causing educational and social neglect by pulling her from public school. Forget that he doesn't really know her (and hasn't since she was like, 3 and she's 12 now), or the situation...

Now to figure out a way for her aunt (DH's step-sister) to stop questioning my daughter while not in front of me (phone, computer, while visiting ILs but not in my presence) :/ "do you like homeschooling?" "don't you miss school?" "Do you have to take NYS tests?" etc etc etc

Thankfully, I don't need to pump up my oldest before dad (or her younger siblings) get home... often she's more then excited to show (with anyone who stays within ear shot or will stand still long enough!)

Lou
05-22-2011, 11:53 PM
My husband is in full support but unfortunately my Mother, Father and sister are extremely against me homeschooling my own kids. I wish they'd get away from their hangup about "normal" Yes I'm weird, yes my kids are weird....get over it!

"Normal" is soooo over rated..."Quirky" is the new Normal... :D

My mother & father in law...fully on board
My dad & mother in law...semi on board, concerned, but don't cross the line with their concerns...and they are slowly coming around.

I think most of the adults in our family are just glad their stint at raising kids is over and they are ready to not worry about those things anymore...they have officially handed the torch over and feel confortable leaving it in our hands...might have something to do with a few comments that were made when our first child came around....back in the day, while preggo with baby #1 we got comments on name choices and both my hubby & I clearly in a fairly BLUNT manner told all the grandparents they named their children and it was OUR TURN NOW to choose the name for OUR child! Then later when they had unsolicited parenting advice, once again they were reminded they had their turn to screw up their children and it was OUR TURN NOW! :)

CatInTheSun
05-23-2011, 12:40 AM
I think most of the adults in our family are just glad their stint at raising kids is over and they are ready to not worry about those things anymore...they have officially handed the torch over and feel confortable leaving it in our hands...might have something to do with a few comments that were made when our first child came around....back in the day, while preggo with baby #1 we got comments on name choices and both my hubby & I clearly in a fairly BLUNT manner told all the grandparents they named their children and it was OUR TURN NOW to choose the name for OUR child! Then later when they had unsolicited parenting advice, once again they were reminded they had their turn to screw up their children and it was OUR TURN NOW! :)

Ha! Definitely on board with the value of being BLUNT. :)

Kinda like pulling off a bandaid -- stings for a bit, but it heals. Once you lay down that new world order (parent-(adult)child role upheaval) they may think you're doing it all wrong but at least they'll keep their mouths shut. We told family that we planned to homeschool with great certainty that it'd been near impossible to question. What did they think initially? Don't know, don't care. That's the key -- you just cannot CARE what other people think about your decision. Your life, your kids, your decision. If you really don't care, they'll know it and people who suspect their opinion isn't valued aren't as quick to have their irrelevance and impotence confirmed.

Anyways, the proof is in the pudding. :)

bamagurl
05-25-2011, 08:34 AM
My mom is iffy on it, like I said mainly due to a semi-unsuccessful hs story in her family. I haven't even mentioned it to the in-laws, and I'm not sure if I will. There will be LOTS of snide remarks from the m-i-l. We live next door to her, do you think she will notice if I don't take the kids to school? ;) Since she has boycotted all school functions due to her embarrassment over me, I don't think she has ANY right to make ANY remarks about our choices. But she will!

Kalani
05-25-2011, 09:51 AM
I'm lucky that my MiL doesn't really give a crap about that stuff....she's as unmotivated as a grandmother as she was as a mother. (If she had been motivated as a mother in her sons' educations, maybe both would be even more successful....and both my husband and his brother are rather successful compared to their parents)

I sometimes think itd be nice to homeschool both kids with my parents and sister never knowing (my sister does live in another state so that might help) but as my kids go to my Mom's every weekend, I don't think it'll work.

Lou
05-27-2011, 06:27 PM
It doesn't sound domineering to me. That is somewhat how it is in our house. I fully respect my husband's opinion and when he gives it, I take it to heart. I will look for ways to make him feel more comfortable about his concerns. But in the end, he knows I'm the one with the kids 24/7 and he knows I always have my nose in a child development/parenting book (whether I agree or disagree with it, I still read most all of them) In the end he sees the results. He sees HIS life is happier because he's not having to listen to naggy stressed out kids after a full day at the office. He comes home and relaxes because his kids are happy, they are smart, they are learning, his home is a place to enjoy again. Luckily he has always respected my 'final say' when it comes to what's best for our children. :)

RubyRain
05-30-2011, 05:32 PM
Do you have any homeschool friends that are similar in lifestyle/value as you? My DH was so stuck on the stereotypes of homeschoolers and couldn't get past that. The only hsers he knew fit all the stereotypes!
He finally met some co-workers that were very similar to him and they were all homeschooling their kids who happen to be the same age as our kids. This helped him A LOT to see that hsers were not ALL just like his brother-VERY conservative, sheltered, religious homeschoolers.
Then he found out our neighbor was homeschooled herself, and she was really cool so that made him see that they COULD grow up to be contributing members of society ;)

Once he got past the stereotypes he was a lot more comfortable with the option and we agreed to do it for a year and see how it went. It's been 5 yrs now and it's just our way of life.

Lou
05-30-2011, 10:16 PM
Do you have any homeschool friends that are similar in lifestyle/value as you? My DH was so stuck on the stereotypes of homeschoolers and couldn't get past that. The only hsers he knew fit all the stereotypes!
He finally met some co-workers that were very similar to him and they were all homeschooling their kids who happen to be the same age as our kids. This helped him A LOT to see that hsers were not ALL just like his brother-VERY conservative, sheltered, religious homeschoolers.Then he found out our neighbor was homeschooled herself, and she was really cool so that made him see that they COULD grow up to be contributing members of society ;)

Once he got past the stereotypes he was a lot more comfortable with the option and we agreed to do it for a year and see how it went. It's been 5 yrs now and it's just our way of life.

in our case the stereotypes we knew of were all "living off the grid" folks. I was NOT aware of the overwhelming faith based homeschooling community, so when we decided to homeschool, that aspect (that many were faith based fundamentalists) suprised us! I thought MOST people homeschooled (regardless of their style/personality/choice of lifestyle, etc) because they wanted to give their child the individual attention they wouldn't get in school. I had NO IDEA there were sooo many other varibles that came into the picture for so many different familes.

Anyhow, for us as well, my hubby was more comfortable once he realized so many of his co-workers homeschooled their children.

MarkInMD
05-30-2011, 10:29 PM
We have a family in our area that's very similar to us in several ways -- they also have two boys, they're pretty close in age to our two (two are 9, one is 7, one is 5), and politically we share similar viewpoints on most things. I knew the mom back in my college days when we did theater together and reconnected with her a few years back. Now she and my wife are great friends. They're a bit more "crunchy" than us (vegetarian/vegan, camping, etc.), but they're definitely not the stereotypical homeschoolers. They started before us and were actually part of what convinced us to take the plunge. It's nice to know going into something that you've got friends there who are going through exactly what you are, so we're lucky that way.

Lou
05-30-2011, 11:36 PM
We have a family in our area that's very similar to us in several ways -- they also have two boys, they're pretty close in age to our two (two are 9, one is 7, one is 5), and politically we share similar viewpoints on most things. I knew the mom back in my college days when we did theater together and reconnected with her a few years back. Now she and my wife are great friends. They're a bit more "crunchy" than us (vegetarian/vegan, camping, etc.), but they're definitely not the stereotypical homeschoolers. They started before us and were actually part of what convinced us to take the plunge. It's nice to know going into something that you've got friends there who are going through exactly what you are, so we're lucky that way.

The Crunchy Homeschooler is all I really knew of until we decided to homeschool. And I'm all good with crunchy folks...we aren't really all that crunchy ourselves, but I like crunchy. :) My cousins are uber Crunch-a-munch and are big time homeschooler advocates (as well as homeschoolers) so I sort of thought that is what we'd meet up with, but so far NONE...not a single crunchy homeschooler in our area... :/