View Full Version : I want my niece to be homeschooled...

04-27-2011, 03:15 PM
Of course I realize that there is nothing I can overtly do about that...but it's what I want anyway. After all, she's one of a few people on earth that I share so much blood with and her future is very important to me!

I was discussing schooling options with my sister yesterday after I sent her a rant about how a new trend in public schools is for the principal to ban bagged lunches and she replied with "I am seriously terrified of what it will be like when she starts school." and then continued with rant about the public school system. I replied saying that she had options...private school or homeschool...our brother's daughter is in private school...and of course mine are homeschooled. Then she replied saying that she has discussed it and since they both work they simply can't homeschool and they also can't afford private school.

I kind of feel like she's just rolling over on the issue...which I'm certainly guilty of. It took me a couple of years to really face the fact that not only was I not happy with my daughters' educations but that there was something I could do about it...and this scares me!

I know that it's not nice to push your views on someone and I certainly don't want her to think I'm doing that-but I also want her to understand that her options are still open! They do both work but my niece is currently in the care of my very capable mother during the day. My mother is scared to DEATH of sending her to public schools and is very happy that none of her other grandchildren attend one. (Go Mom!) I also want her to really understand that homeschool does not necessarily mean sitting at a desk all day receiving instruction..which is one thing that I kind of thought before I homeschooled!

In our county in Florida we have "Magnet" programs for public schools. If you are unfamiliar this basically means that instead of going to the school in your zone you can choose a magnet program based on a theme. (Science and Technology, Spanish Immersion, Visual and Performing Arts to name a few) While these sound great it is really just a way to get out of the school you are zoned for and pick a more quality (Read: higher test scores) school. My daughters went to a science and technology one-which meant that they did an annual science project. That's it. End of story.

Her SIL's son goes to the only Montessori Magnet School in town and she wants her daughter to go there. Of all of the options for all of the schools I certainly think this is the best one-but when it comes down to it-it is still a public school. It is still subject to FCAT testing and anything else public schools are or will become subject to.

I don't know what I'm asking for on the forum. Maybe just to rant-maybe for advice? Maybe to be told that I'm being a typical older sister and that I should allow my sister to do what she wants to do and to back off? I don't know.

Thanks for listening though!

04-27-2011, 03:21 PM
I think you have to let your sister make her own parenting choices, including mistakes. I think its great that you remind her of her options, let her know that you think there are ways to home school even if you work, and just be her sounding board. Listen sympathetically to her concerns WITHOUT pushing your agenda. She already knows where you stand on the issue. If/when she becomes frustrated enough with the public schools, she will know you are someone she can turn to to discuss the home schooling option - but only if you dont push SO hard that she either feels totally alienated from you, or feels like changing paths would be letting you 'win' the fight.

Kids are resillient and plenty do fine in public school. My oldest wen to public school for 10 years, the next for 7, and the youngest for 1 year. Its all good - and its not your choice. Focus on the relationship with your family, not wether or not you agree with their choices.

jmo. i have a lot of'em.

04-27-2011, 03:33 PM
Thanks-I really think this was exactly what I needed to be reminded of. Sometimes it's hard to take off the Big Sister Cap.

04-27-2011, 03:41 PM
I absolutely agree with Cara. This is your sister's choice, not yours.
We have magnet schools in the Dallas area also and they are really well respected. My oldest son went to the Montessori magnet in middle school and really enjoyed it.
I don't think it is fair to blanket say that ALL public schools are bad. There is good and bad....just like homeschoolers and private schools. She may get very lucky.

04-27-2011, 05:33 PM
Well put Cara :-)

04-27-2011, 08:17 PM
You gave her what you thought were the options. The rest is up to her. Families are tricky. They can be like fireworks in a match factory. It's all oohs and aaahs until someone goes too far then BOOM!