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View Full Version : Ugh, my daughter is 7 going on 17!



Spookygirl
03-29-2010, 07:36 PM
I swear, if she is this obstinate now, I can only imagine how she's gonna be as a teenager! She has such an attitude problem, her and I just butt heads so much. I have basically stripped 75% of her toys out of her room (can't take them all because it's the playroom too where the little one plays) and still she mouths off. Right now, I asked her to go play in the backyard with her brother for a while, she needs the sun and exercise, and she refuses, so I turned off the TV, still she refuses. We walked to the grocery store, and she's complaining that her feet hurt sooo much, she can't play outside.. And she constantly says "I'm so stupid!!" Blah, blah, blah, DRAMA QUEEN!!

Sorry, just am a little frustrated today. Tired of hearing how boring her school work is, tired of hearing how mean I am, tired of her attitude, and just needed to vent a bit..

Snoopy
03-29-2010, 09:17 PM
Oh man, I hear you. I'm about to throw all my kids out of the house :)

Noah also has this thing sometimes where he repeats that he's "stupid" and that really bothers me that he says that because I certainly never tell him that he's stupid. I had to explain to him that he might make dumb choices sometimes but that this does not make him stupid, that he's actually quite smart and I try to give him examples of him being smart. Sometimes I wonder if his older siblings tease him with that and then he internalizes it. Where do you think she would have heard this?

(((HUGS)))

Spookygirl
03-29-2010, 10:13 PM
I have no idea really. I don't ever say it, she has an older brother, but he knows what would happen to him if he ever said anything like that to her. She just started saying it one day, and now when ever she gets in trouble she repeats it. I *almost* think it's a sympathy thing. Like, oh you want me to go on time out? Well, I'll say something that will make you feel bad and then you'll want to "talk about it" and then you'll forget about the time out, KWIM? I have just started saying, "no, you're not, and we don't speak about anyone that way, even ourselves" and sending her off to her timeout...

hjdong
03-29-2010, 11:01 PM
Oh, so you've met James?

paojava
03-30-2010, 10:00 AM
My DS7 is the SAME!!! And he is an only child. Drives me CRAZY!!!!

CroppinMom
03-30-2010, 06:09 PM
I have no idea really. I don't ever say it, she has an older brother, but he knows what would happen to him if he ever said anything like that to her. She just started saying it one day, and now when ever she gets in trouble she repeats it. I *almost* think it's a sympathy thing. Like, oh you want me to go on time out? Well, I'll say something that will make you feel bad and then you'll want to "talk about it" and then you'll forget about the time out, KWIM? I have just started saying, "no, you're not, and we don't speak about anyone that way, even ourselves" and sending her off to her timeout...

Spookygirl-

My ds went through a stage when he tried this and we handled it the same you have. It lasted about a month before he realized it wasn't getting him what he wanted and then he gave up. He is an only so I'm not sure where he was getting it from either but it sure was annoying/frustrating while it lasted.

Closeacademy
03-31-2010, 07:58 AM
Have you read about the 7 year change? Around age 7 they go through this period that can last up to 8 months where they are just plain difficult. I did some reading on it and it is because they realize that they are mortal and they get upset about it. A lot of signs are:

mouthiness
having trouble going to bed at night
arguing
being difficult
being mean

Sit down and have a gentle talk. Take some time to give her extra hugs and reassurance. The child probably really doesn't understand what is going on with them but needs some reassurance that despite the fact that life isn't what she thought it was that everything will still be OK and that her parents love her.

I hope it all works out quickly. I just finished this stage up with my youngest around Christmas time. At one point I was ready to send her to public school because she refused to do any thing.

Sending peace and calm your way.

CroppinMom
03-31-2010, 09:55 AM
Christy,

I have never heard of that but it sure explains a lot. My ds fit that description to a T and if I remember correctly it lasted just over 6 months. Luckily we all survived to fight another day - after all the teenage years are just around the corner :)

dbmamaz
03-31-2010, 10:28 AM
ok, now give me some tools to handle my 17 yo dd . . . its been 6 years of hell already. (she even got a tentative bipolar dx recently and is now looking for a fibromyalgia dx . . . so its not exactly her FAULT but does she have to be such a **B** about it all?)

sorry, in serious hate-my-life mode. Should be doing much better in a week.

Snoopy
03-31-2010, 12:20 PM
Luckily we all survived to fight another day **snort** I love this :)

Spookygirl
03-31-2010, 09:51 PM
Have you read about the 7 year change?

This TOTALLY fits my daughter and as I found out at a few playdates with our PS friends, most of her friends too! LMAO! It's good to know that we aren't the only ones, and that it is most likely developmental instead of environmental ;)