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Amerikiwimom
01-07-2011, 06:29 PM
As a newbie to this site, I find it interesting to find out why people are home schooling. In reading responses to various threads, I noticed that a lot of people seem to be home schooling as a response to some failure - that they/their child experienced -of the mainstream educational system.

Are there any people here who are home schooling who have never sent their children to school and are doing it for some other reason(s)?

Just curious...

Jill

dbmamaz
01-07-2011, 07:36 PM
You might want to read this thread: http://www.secularhomeschool.com/threads/1682-Weekly-Poll-What-made-you-decide-to-homeschool

Mrs. Weasley's Wand
01-07-2011, 08:55 PM
My kids have never gone to any kind of school. I taught at a very good elementary school and had the option of bringing my kids to my school if I wished, which was our original plan. Nothing about the schools in the town where we live played into our decision to homeschool our kids. We simply wanted much more control over our lives and that involved opting out of a school's schedule and getting as far away as we could from the "six soccer games a weekend" mentality that you can run into if you aren't careful around here. We just wanted to protect our family time.

I now have specific things I want out of my kids' educations, but those things came after the decision to keep them home and I began working with my eldest formally these past few months. We are also all significantly healthier when we are not exposed to a combination of school (me) and daycare (the little one) germs that we probably would have considered homeschooling for that reason by itself had the other reasons not presented themselves first.

lynne
01-07-2011, 09:14 PM
I am new here too. I *just* started homeschooling my 9 year old son midway through 4th grade at public school. We got fed up with the very little class work and lots of parties and pajama days. He just wasn't learning enough. So far I love it and wish we would have started this sooner.

schwartzkari
01-07-2011, 09:34 PM
My children have not (and probably never will) attended public school. For us, it was at first just some sort of fun preschool activities I started doing with my daughter when she was around 2-3 years old. She's headed into 2nd grade now and homeschooling has become our way of life. The main reason I homeschool my children is because I truly believe I can give them a better individual education than a public school can. The 2nd reason is that I feel homeschooling offers more opportunities to experience real life and apply them to learning situations. My goal is to raise well rounded children who have respect for others, a positive outlook on life, good manners, leadership skills and the desire to make learning a life-long journey.

pandahoneybee
01-08-2011, 07:27 AM
Well I am one of those who wish I had done this sooner! And my boys will never go back. (and they don't want to either!) I agree with the others the education that you can give your kids by homeschooling them is amazing! Our first year we did mostly fieldtrips to any and every where we could just to soak in some knowledge by going there!

inmom
01-08-2011, 09:12 AM
Our family has several reasons we homeschool, but our one word answer is flexibility.

Flexibility to design an education appropriate to each child.

Flexibility to sleep, eat, play when it works for us.

Flexibility to travel at any time of year.

Flexilibity to volunteer during school hours for groups we support.

The list continues, but it's the quick answer we give strangers when they ask.....

Riceball_Mommy
01-08-2011, 10:08 AM
We've homeschooled since Pre-K, Mini Riceball is now in Kindergarten (technically our first official year). Mine and my daughter's anxiety was what really got me started into looking at homeschooling. Though the ability to take a vacation or day off without having to be accountable to someone else was factored in. Now though the main reason I have to continue is that it's working, and if something isn't broke you don't fix it. She's learning a lot, she's become more social (even with adults), we both enjoy school time, and I'm starting to learn how she learns. I highly doubt a teacher would have the time to figure out the cycle she goes through with some concepts, and even if they did we'd just start over the next year with a new teacher that doesn't get it.
Also the more I read about other people's negative experiences with public school, and I listen to some of the stories my 7-year old sisters-in-law tell I get even more reasons to homeschool.

MarkInMD
01-08-2011, 01:25 PM
Another of the big reasons we didn't put her in school is that we don't think it's a good fit for her personality, in many ways. For one thing, she's incredibly shy. She's only 6.5, so this is not something we caused by homeschooling, though if she doesn't grow out of it people will say that. It's just her personality. She would've been terrified to be sent off to school with strangers all day. She might get picked on, too. Besides her shyness, she's also much more like your average boy wrt her ability to sit still and her fine motor skills. I don't think most adults are very accepting of wiggliness and poor fine motor skills in girls.

Isn't that a sad but true commentary on people? The fact that most people would look askance at a girl with those traits isn't indicative of her, it's indicative of them and their narrow views on things.

And a shy kid of either gender, I firmly believe, will be shy regardless of location. And you're spot-on that people later will say homeschooling did it, if not to your face then amongst themselves. Sigh. Homeschooling can come with a lot of frivolous battles.

I wish I could say that we homeschooled from the beginning, but we didn't. With Tornado, it will almost be from the beginning, as we're having him finish out his pre-K year and then will pull him before kindergarten in the fall. But if it matters, my main reason is that based on what I've seen and what I've heard from people like my parents (both retired teachers -- who support our decision, thankfully), the system is broken as far as it concerns the way my children act and learn and it's unlikely to be fixed for them. Coming from someone who was so focused on grades and achievements through my own school years to the point where a B was devastating, I've now come to realize that grades are arbitrary, ridiculous constructs created by quantification junkies, and my kids are not numbers.

Busygoddess
01-08-2011, 01:54 PM
The really short answer:

Our local school district proved, in my dd's Kinder year, that they simply could not provide the education my kids deserve. Schools aren't capable of dealing with kids like mine. So, instead of putting them through 13 torturous years in a system that is broken, I chose to homeschool. I can provide a far superior education, personally tailored to the needs of my children, for far less money than the local schools.

Not exactly why I homeschool, but to help explain why I don't feel the local schools could provide the best education -
The Gifted Program used to involve hands-on work, doing skits, dissections in grade school, required foreign language in grade school, lots of hands-on Science work, etc. Now, it's the same work (textbook & workbook) as the regular program, just at a slightly faster pace.
The Arts Program does not have any more focus on the Arts than the regular program & never did
The district is intending to drop Honors classes - they claim they are a modern form of segregation & said that an audit of the curriculum proves the work is no more challenging than the regular classes
The district is planning to drop all foreign languages except Spanish
If you fail a high school course, the only way to make it up is to pay $300 for night school
Last year, the district spent over $9000 per student & still offers (at best) a mediocre education

Dutchbabiesx2
01-08-2011, 02:34 PM
My boys have attended PS and I can tell you that if I had followed my gut, they would have not. Our neighborhood school has a long list of families trying to get a seat while other schools in the same district are being closed due to low enrollment. Crazy that.

Anywho, The idea of leaving your children, whom you've known all their lives, with complete strangers is a strange and bizarre concept. Strangers that you did not interview, subjugate to your standards and ideals (like rules of the job for a sitter) is now in charge of your child for more waking hours a day than they are with their own parents! This never sat well with me.

Allowing your child to be tested and assessed and judged based on non-scientific formulation is just demeaning to the children and to your parenting and self worth as well. A child who finds self worth in work accomplished only to be judged as 'not good enough' by their teacher only crushes their creativity and willingness to be self motivated. Why try something if you are unsure if you can complete it to the unknown standards that have been imposed upon your fragile developing self esteem? Parents do this too on occasion, but we can respond to the child quickly and with love and encouragement on the spot!

I now know that the bullying in school will not magically go away. Children need mentoring in social situations. They are not prepared to deal with 50 other children on the playground who are also immature in the social department. Teasing is a way of defending against inner insecurities and testing out if your values are similar to those around you. If others laugh, your values are then better than the kid you teased. Tattling is a way of saying you don't know how to handle a situation and would like adult assistance in dealing with it. Each time a child tattles and the adult responds, they get reinforcement that they are doing the right thing, and it becomes habit not giving them tools to learn to deal with situations. Children turn in or out depending on their fear level, the greater the fear, the more outward the response. Educators put adult behavior labels on immature systems and this 'punish' according to adult rules of society, without teaching them how to deal with it differently the next time. but I could write for hours on this! The idea of due process is also excluded, and the innocent until proven guilty- who has time? 2 kids could have totally different perceptions of the same situation, both are real to them, but the child who has a tendency toward committing these crimes will be judged guilty in the eyes of their peers and teachers/principals. How do you ever recover your reputation from that?

we won't miss the school schedule, even if you child is ill, you still need to get your own butt out of bed can call someone. While I do know this covers safety- where is your child, with you or with the school? It is still a pain! Maybe the mamma is ill too and wants to sleep. The rushing around in the morning, packing lunches, getting homework (even in Kindergarten) in the backpacks. Not all children have good memory skills and can remember where their shoes are, coats, hats mittens, projects, show and tell, crazy hair day . . .only the kids who 'fit in the box' and their parent do too, do these things add up to a great school experience!
Only If you read the class schedule, the school schedule AND the lunch schedule will your kid be prepared each day. The horror of coming to school on PJ day in your normal school clothes and all 24 of your classmates did, you then will get questioned allllll day long . . .enough to drive a kid into questioning themselves and concentrating on other things than the school work. How embarrassing to be reminded for 6 hours your simple mistake.

Oh and how many kids have issues, later developing reading/writing/fine motor/social/emotional/gross motor/visual/auditory/vestibular/tactile . . . skills, these things can affect the ability to learn. The schools cram more 'education' in and less physical and biological developmental growth opportunities. one of my sons has major sensory problems (he hears noises better than average, yet can't prioritize these sounds) and they never- I mean never took this 'disability' into account his his 'behavior'. My other son had undiagnosed vision problem and they just shoved more and more books in his backpack, took him out of math class (which he loved) for more reading time.

anywho, I could add more, but I am trying not to be so bitter this year!

Stella M
01-08-2011, 04:22 PM
Because I think schools are semi-fascist institutions and until my children are of an age to make a considered decision about whether they wish to take part in those institutions, I'm keeping them out.

Dd 11 plans on attending high school in 2012. That's fine. She's old enough to make that choice. And also her brainwashing is complete :)

ETA Apparently, I need to work on my grumpiness :) so I'm amending the 'semi-fascist' to 'fascist'. I only put the 'semi' in b/c I didn't want to offend anyone who had children at school. I still don't!

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-08-2011, 05:43 PM
Like many others here, I pulled my son out of public school after realizing that he is not meant to be in a classroom. He doesn't like to sit still, is very emotional and impulsive, and has a stubborn and independent streak. He has a hard time knowing how to behave appropriately with other kids (even "friends") and large groups of kids really make him lose his head. Over the course of the kindergarten year, his behavior got worse despite much strategizing with his teacher on how to "handle" him. It came down to the fact that even the best teacher cannot handle him and teach the other kids. A minor situation would snowball to the point that the teacher had to send him (hysterical) to the principal's office. By June, the behavior at school was spilling over to home and karate (which he loves) and I knew I didn't want to send him back. The expectations for behavior are higher for every grade, and the time for recess and play are minimal even in first grade. I knew that homeschooling would give him one-on-one attention he needs and free him from the pressure of being in a crowded classroom where movement and choice are severely restricted.

I researched homeschooling before my son went to kindergarten and was very attracted to it. Maybe I should have trusted that instinct and not sent him to school, but at least now there is no doubt in my mind that it isn't the place for him.

My daughter would probably function well at school, but I have no interest in sending her now that know how wonderful and liberating homeschooling is. Both kids are working above grade level in many areas, and I know they would never have that opportunity at school. Once you step out of the "system" of traditional education, you realize how artificial and restricted it is and how much conformity is prized above imagination and intelligence.

Dutchbabiesx2
01-08-2011, 06:31 PM
[QUOTE=AddlepatedMonkeyMama;21381

now that know how wonderful and liberating homeschooling is. Both kids are working above grade level in many areas, and I know they would never have that opportunity at school. Once you step out of the "system" of traditional education, you realize how artificial and restricted it is and how much conformity is prized above imagination and intelligence.[/QUOTE]

yes, liberating is a great word for it!

Amerikiwimom
01-10-2011, 03:45 AM
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories!

My children have never been to school or daycare. Home schooling, for us, grew out of our desire to spend time with our children. We didn't believe that others in the community-schools, teachers, peers or parents-had the same drive to protect, encourage, challenge or guide our children as we do! We are also freethinkers and don't always buy into the same propaganda that is fed to the masses- scientific, religious, etc.- and often times, presented to children in schools. It is important to us that our children are not exposed to christian or other religious doctrines (while there is separation of church and state in the US, I often saw religious things happening in schools and in NZ and Australia, religious education is part of the public school curriculum).

All-in-all, we are glad that the children are at home. They are developing lifelong family ties, relying on their parents for guidance instead of their peers and exploring their individual interests while having time to play and be children too!

What more could we ask for?

Amerikiwimom
01-10-2011, 02:39 PM
And also her brainwashing is complete :)

I had a little chuckle at this! I am glad to see I am not the ONLY person thinking along these lines:)

MarkInMD
01-10-2011, 09:34 PM
If by brainwashing we mean allowing them to realize their full potential while simultaneously encouraging them to be part of the solution and not the problem, then brainwashing it is!

fma001
01-18-2011, 04:36 PM
For me it is purely academic concerns. My daughter just started Kindergarten through an online public school. I'm an immigrant and I'm troubled by how little American schools teach compared to what is taught in many other countries. And also how undemanding they seem to be.

Kristina Breece
01-18-2011, 05:09 PM
My son is precocious, intelligent, and well-spoken. In his "peer group" (I use the term peer loosely to mean kids who are about his age), there is one little girl who can keep up with him. And she's my best friend's daughter, and they are HS as well.

He's also extremely intense. He has a real problem with anxiety, and doesn't respond well to environmental changes that he has no control over.

With his personality, I strongly believe that he will benefit so much from one-on-one instruction, and from having some input into what happens on a typical day. I've seen too many great kids fall through the cracks of the PS system because they were gifted or needed special attention. Aaron is both, and I can't take that risk with my children.

MarkInMD
01-19-2011, 08:05 AM
My son is precocious, intelligent, and well-spoken. In his "peer group" (I use the term peer loosely to mean kids who are about his age), there is one little girl who can keep up with him. And she's my best friend's daughter, and they are HS as well.

He's also extremely intense. He has a real problem with anxiety, and doesn't respond well to environmental changes that he has no control over.

With his personality, I strongly believe that he will benefit so much from one-on-one instruction, and from having some input into what happens on a typical day. I've seen too many great kids fall through the cracks of the PS system because they were gifted or needed special attention. Aaron is both, and I can't take that risk with my children.

Sounds exactly like our older son at that age. The anxiety is better through us working with him on it, but the need to be in control is still an issue. I agree with your assessment completely.

Wilma
01-19-2011, 09:44 AM
this is going to sound flippant, but it is the truth. I used to teach. Generally, I was not impressed with the academic caliber of my peers. It basically boiled down to my arrogance that no one was going to do it the way I thought was right for my kids. After we got into it, I saw so many of the other benefits.

MarkInMD
01-19-2011, 10:46 AM
Ann, my mother used to teach future teachers at the collegiate level and despaired of the crop that was going to be unleashed on the schools of America. Primarily because she was under pressure from administration not to flunk anybody unless problems got egregious. And I hate to stereotype, but the worst offenders and the only ones she ever did flunk were PE majors. I hear you loud and clear.

outskirtsofbs
01-19-2011, 12:01 PM
I'd say that I am the lone reluctant homeschooler in the bunch. We HS because of bullying. But even though we are HS because of said reason, there are so many positive aspects to consider.

dbmamaz
01-19-2011, 02:02 PM
Olive, you arent the lone reluctant homeschooler. My son went through 4 years of regular grade school, a half year of stand-alone gifted program, a half year w specail ed consultations, a year of stand-alone specail ed in grade school, and 2 years of middle school specail ed - and nothing really worked. the one year of stand-alone specail ed in grade school, that teacher adored him and had no trouble with him, but no one else could handle him. When it got to the point that he was getting detentions and suspensions becuase the teachers were convinced that they should punish him harder when his mental health issues kept him from following the rules. Finally my husband accepted that this was not working and, while he was sure i would fail, allowed me to try to do better. he was quickly convinced. The younger one, also, was crying every day about having to go to K. My kids are smart and the schools are good, but my kids dont fit well in boxes.

i dont enjoy homeschooling, but i'm grateful that I can meet my kids needs.

also, my neighbor's mom used to teach teachers. She said that as the womens movement progressed, the quality of women coming through teaching school really fell dramatically.

DeidreSeattle
01-19-2011, 03:12 PM
I live in a downtown Seattle neighborhood. There are pockets of good schools but many are failing. Our nearby choice was a failing school so, when my daughter was entering kindergarten, we opted to send our kids to the nearby Catholic school. My daughter (and our families) were minorities there and none of us fit in very well. It was in second grade when I really noticed that my daughter was being severely bullied. By the spring of 3rd grade I'd seen enough and started to research options. I mentioned "home schooling" to my husband, and his first response was "you will kill each other." Honestly, I was horrified that I even let the words "home school" past my lips! I kept researching and ultimately moved her to a nearby, well regarded public school for the final three months of school. She was so happy.

But, because Seattle Public Schools are so screwy, she couldn't stay there in the fall. She would be put into our neighborhood failing school. (An example of the insanity: we have six houses on our block w/ elementary aged kids from K-5 and they attend FIVE different public schools, none of which are the nearby/neighborhood school).

Since she couldn't say at the nice public school, I moved her and her brother (who was entering 2nd grade) to another Catholic school. The bullying and isolation my daughter continues to feel is beyond words and comprehension. My son has always been pretty popular but isn't fitting in, either. Much to our surprise, my husband and I decided this fall to further investigate home schooling.

Full Disclosure: My husband was homeschooled in the 1970s for 4th/5th grades when his dad relocated the family to England for work. After 5th grade, he asked his parents if he could go to school and they let him go -- keeping the other three kids in home schooling. At the English school, my husband remembers endless days of torment for being the "Yank."

And there is a school of thought that such "torment" and bullying somehow builds character. Huh. I'm not exactly sure where the studies are on that. My husband says that he didn't consider an endless stream of mockery a necessary part of his upbringing.

In the early days of my research, I let the "home schooling" idea slip to my Facebook friends. Initially, the onslaught of attack against my crazy, "radical" idea was shocking. I'm not radical! One woman even said that she could tell when an adult had been a homeschooled child because they are just awkward. I responded her that I knew a number of socially awkward adults that went to "regular" school. So, what's to blame? Why is it even an issue? My husband, a self-proclaimed social misfit (he covers it well), says that he isn't a social misfit because of those few years of home schooling....if anything, it was from those few years of being bullied. But, in all reality, it was probably neither.

I tried very hard to avoid home schooling. Now we are all hooked....line and sinker.

:)

Deidre

outskirtsofbs
01-19-2011, 05:44 PM
Thank-you Cara--Its nice knowing I'm not the "only one". And believe me, I'm also grateful that I can do the same for my child.

MrsLOLcat
01-19-2011, 09:12 PM
We tried private school for a year because I really wanted to try to get M1 around people and had an idea that he would be okay as long as he was in a smaller class setting - I knew he'd never do well with 25-30 kids in the same room. I really like the school that he attended (DD still attends there), but it was awful for him. Between preK and kindergarten, he was diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD combined type, and anxiety, and kindergarten was a nightmare. I pulled him after that, and we're in our second year at home. He has no intentions of going back. I'm just so glad I can do this for him!

melaknee
01-19-2011, 10:02 PM
So nice to read all of these! I never, ever, ever thought I would HS! I pulled her out mid 3rd grade year, just a week ago. A lot of reasons, most the same I see on here. Everyone's first thought was similiar to some I have read on her " you two will fight all day" "you will never be able to teach her, you barely understand division!!" I have a few supporters but mostly I just don't tell anyone. I secretly am sooooo enjoying myself. If my DD ever wanted to go back, I would probably let her, if I could find a school that we both liked. She says she will never go back. I just recently realized she isn't the sit at her desk all day kind of girl and she can't take a test at all, but is so very intelligent! She spends most of her time writing books, several chapter long! All PS wanted her to do was take tests, then stick in her in the low classes where the bullying started, etc. etc. etc....
Thanks for all these posts!

mommalee93
01-20-2011, 12:28 PM
I've seen where my daughter would be totally held back by following a curriculum for some subjects that was below her level and where she'd be lost if the class had to move on before she understood something in other subjects. She needs to move at her own pace.



Isn't that any child? I know that was the BIGGEST reason we homeschool. My oldest son is ASD and he is ahead in Math and Science, but behind in reading and writing. So sending him to public school he would be lost, bored, picked on, and in a complete sensory overload! No thank you!

p.s. I was homechooled as a child until I entered 2nd grade. I remember being completely bored for the first 2 years. I was reading at a 4th grade level and doing math at a 3rd grade level on most things. I remember thinking the same things as you though.

mommalee93
01-20-2011, 12:39 PM
Everyone's first thought was similiar to some I have read on her " you two will fight all day" "you will never be able to teach her, you barely understand division!!" I have a few supporters but mostly I just don't tell anyone. I secretly am sooooo enjoying myself.

I think most people are so distracting is fear. Fear that they could do the same thing and it would be better for their kids. We have been so brainwashed to think that public (or private) school is the way to go. Stepping outside and thinking outside the box are so under-encouraged why would expect it to be different when it comes to schooling our kids?

Riceball_Mommy
01-20-2011, 02:51 PM
I think most people are so distracting is fear. Fear that they could do the same thing and it would be better for their kids. We have been so brainwashed to think that public (or private) school is the way to go. Stepping outside and thinking outside the box are so under-encouraged why would expect it to be different when it comes to schooling our kids?

One of the biggest negatives I've heard since we said we're homeschooling are people trying to get us to "try" public school for a year, no one goes to a mom with children in public school (who doesn't have any problems) and suggests she try homeschooling for a year.

dottieanna29
01-20-2011, 03:07 PM
[QUOTE=mommalee93;23111So sending him to public school he would be lost, bored, picked on, and in a complete sensory overload! No thank you!

[/QUOTE]

This is why we homeschool. My son has sensory issues. They are mild but the biggies are noise (crowded classroom anyone?) and smells. He is also somewhat socially awkward (bullied?) and would not sit still and quietly while being bored (in trouble all the time, probably want to medicate him).

My mother called me the other day "concerned" again about us homeschooling. She thinks my son needs to learn to be around other kids (gymnastics class, play groups, field trips, playdates, soccer, t-ball, etc. don't count??) and take direction from adults other than me (again - gymnastics, t-ball, soccer?? maybe some day we'll do co-ops but he's 5). She thinks schools can handle his needs (I have a kid in PS, I know way more about them than she does). Her newest thing is I should put him in school so I can have time to socialize. Put them in school and get a part time job so I can be around other adults. I worked full time for 20 years, I worked full time until my oldest was 11. Why would she fell I need (or want) to do that again??

(sorry for the mini-vent).

dbmamaz
01-20-2011, 04:16 PM
Dorothy, I'm barely talking to my mom, and not talking at ALL to my sister, after they wouldnt stop telling me I needed to start paying for my 18 yo to live in an apartment somewhere. They woudl NOT take no for an answer, and it blew up . . . i think thats something we all need to remember . . . once they move out of the house, its NOT YOUR LIFE any more, its THIERS

MarkInMD
01-20-2011, 04:59 PM
You know your kids better than anyone else. Forget what anybody else says.

missourimom
01-24-2011, 12:51 PM
Directly after my son was born, my daughter went to public school preschool for three hours a day, four days a week. You wouldn't think that small amount of time could have such an impact but it did. She regressed in her letter formation & overall handwriting, plus some other things.
We were really unhappy about sending her to Kindy in that same school dist. but the private schools are out of our price range (& most are Catholic requiring the children go to services) & we didn't realize we really could do it ourselves at home.
My husband went to Kindy orientation & was so unimpressed by the program that he came home & told me that he knew I could do a better job. We hopped on the internet to see what our laws were & now we're in our second year of homeschooling.

Sam
01-24-2011, 07:57 PM
Hm! I just noticed I never replied to this thread. I haven't HSed from the beginning but here's my reasons:

1) I've always wanted to HS (from the start) just didn't have the support before
2) I think most of the school system is glorified jail
3) Too many parents don't give a crap anymore so kids are turning into hellions at younger and younger ages
4) DD is currently quite lazy. If she can get away with a half fast job, that's all she'll do (at PS, they let her)
5) No one seemed to care that DD was not doing any work but rather chatting with her neighbours
6) She was bullied verbally in Gr. 2, in Gr. 3 it escalated to physically

That's just some of my reasons. I could go on for hours...

homeschmom24
01-25-2011, 12:02 AM
We started homeschooling a month after my oldest son started Kindergarten when his teacher complained that he had said a bad word which he picked up from school. We moved to FL a year after and there was no way I was putting him into that school system. I decided to try out the PS when we moved to NC for my husband's work BIG MISTAKE they put him back a year because I did not have his home school paperwork proving he was at the 2nd grade level. I fumed through that, but the last straw was when he finally got to second grade and his teacher refused to allow me to drop in on classes "because I'd be a distraction?!?!?" Coupled with a lazy assistant teacher who did nothing but sit on the phone talking to her boyfriend for most of the day, I couldn't pull him and his younger sister who had just started Kindergarten out of their fast enough.

We finally moved back to FL last year and home schooling gives me the flexibility to travel, my husband contracts in NC, my in-laws live in Germany, my parents in Sierra Leone and we attend football and cheerleading camps from FL to Washington DC. My children are actually accomplishing more than our school could ever dream of. Checking out the Core Knowledge "What Your K/2nd/5th Grader Needs To Know series at the library, the librarian was surprised that my kids did not find it too hard. My son actually looks forward to calligraphy in the morning, my daughter enjoys Math tests, and my youngest is reading. As far as socializing, they are very popular with friends in their sport teams, go to play dates, birthday parties, and have actually convinced a parent or two to start homeschooling, so it has been a wonderful experience and in the event I had to work outside the home, I'd rather hire a tutor to come to our home before I'd send them back to PS.

Pilgrim
01-25-2011, 11:27 PM
I'd say that I am the lone reluctant homeschooler in the bunch.


Olive, you arent the lone reluctant homeschooler...

...i dont enjoy homeschooling, but i'm grateful that I can meet my kids needs.


I'm really glad to hear this. I was beginning to get the impression that everyone here loved every minute of HSing and was super-organized and ultra-confident! :D

I honestly don't know if I'm going to like it. I am reluctant for a lot of reasons -- the unknown, the lack of 'me' time... I guess I'm HSing now, though DS wouldn't be in K until this coming fall. But I've been increasing our 'school' time lately, with more structure and more focused learning sessions, and while he whines at times (as do I), we're adapting to it rather well. Now, add an 8 yo with dyslexia and having both kids under the same roof all day every day, and I just don't know.

Yeah, I'm reluctant. :eek:

Still, I keep coming back to all the reasons you've all mentioned, and I don't know how I can't HS. And I remind myself that I can get help in the way of a tutor and play groups and grandparents at times, and even my wife if I can get her to stop working so damned much. lol

I have also been asking myself why I quit my job and began staying home in the first place.

1. I loved my time with the newborn boy.
2. I was beginning to despise my job.
3. When I returned to work for a while, and we sent DS to daycare for several months, he hated it and never got used to being cared for by someone else.

Transpose those thoughts to the present, and this is what I come up with ...

1. I love my time with my children.
2. I don't want to return to my 'real' job.
3. While DS is doing well with p/t preK, DD is regressing at PS in both academic and social terms.

Same reasons, really. As with being a sahd, I know that HSing will (is) bring a whole bunch of challenges, but I think I've done pretty well so far, so why not just continue, right?

Right?

dbmamaz
01-25-2011, 11:55 PM
Pilgrim, you can do it! Trust me, juggling an emotionally disturbed teen (who needs me to sit with him for a significant amount of his work) and a just-starting-to-really-read hyper 7 yo is a challenge - but its worth it, esp for them

Kristina Breece
01-26-2011, 09:33 AM
Right. Absolutely right, Pilgrim. You've been "teaching" him at home for 4 years, and doing a good job of it. (I'm at that point with my oldest.) So just keep plugging away. I am convinced totally that it will be the best schooling experience I can give my DC, and it sounds like you feel the same way. It's going to be difficult, but we have this wonderful support network, and it is okay to take a break or to ask for help when you need it.

MrsLOLcat
01-26-2011, 10:35 AM
I'm really glad to hear this. I was beginning to get the impression that everyone here loved every minute of HSing and was super-organized and ultra-confident! :D

I honestly don't know if I'm going to like it. I am reluctant for a lot of reasons -- the unknown, the lack of 'me' time... I guess I'm HSing now, though DS wouldn't be in K until this coming fall. But I've been increasing our 'school' time lately, with more structure and more focused learning sessions, and while he whines at times (as do I), we're adapting to it rather well. Now, add an 8 yo with dyslexia and having both kids under the same roof all day every day, and I just don't know.

Yeah, I'm reluctant. :eek:

...

As with being a sahd, I know that HSing will (is) bring a whole bunch of challenges, but I think I've done pretty well so far, so why not just continue, right?

Right?

RIGHT! The idea of homeschooling scared the living crap out of me. Literally. I spent about a week having a panic attack when I finally decided to bring him home... and this was when DS was still in kindergarten. Reading helped. "The Well-Trained Mind" gave me the impression that homeschooling was actually *doable* and helped me, Ms. Type A Personality Extraordinaire (I may or may not have spent an hour on Amazon last night pondering logic books, since the boy has blown through two so far this year), figure out a plan. Cathy Duffy's book "100 Top Picks" helped me figure out his learning style and my teaching style and what was going to work for both of us. Was it perfect? Hell, no. My beautiful mental image flew out the window the first time DS told me he hated math, but hey, there's a learning curve with anything, and I 'fixed' things, and now he loves 'school.' He also does MUCH better in social situations than he did two years ago. So I figure I'm doing something right.

I'm contemplating bringing DD home in the fall, too, but I have to get DH on board first. She is an extrovert to DS' introvert, so it would be a whole other set of challenges... and I'm reluctant. :D

arenas3651
01-31-2011, 03:23 AM
We homeschool for a few reasons, the main one being that my middle boy was sexually assaulted at ps by another boy in the bathroom during recess one day. The school acted like it was no big deal, and actually told me that if I didn't bring it up with him he would forget it. Um, no! My oldest has Asperger's, ADHD, OCD, ODD, and a few other things. The school just didn't know how to handle him, and he was always in trouble for things he couldn't control. I pulled them out last year in May (didn't even let them finish out the school year), as soon as the assault happened.

This has been a very trying year, but I'm glad that I pulled my boys out or I would not have realized until who knows when that my middle boy has learning disabilities (possibly dyslexia). Were in the process of testing my middle boy now, but it's a long and tedious process. It's hard meeting their needs, and not feeling like a chicken without a head, but I'm happy with the way our first year of homeschooling is going. I can't ever see me putting any of my kids back into the ps system, I'm too afraid of the damage they'll do.

melaknee
02-10-2011, 11:38 PM
And... if it really, really is not flowing, you can always go back... this like many other major life decisions are not set in stone.. I had to tell myself that to convince myself to start HS my DD last month : )

dottieanna29
02-11-2011, 08:03 AM
I'm really glad to hear this. I was beginning to get the impression that everyone here loved every minute of HSing and was super-organized and ultra-confident! :D



Okay, we need that ROFLMAO smiley. Super organized and ultra-confident do not describe even the smallest part of my life. :-D

inmom
02-11-2011, 08:07 AM
I have found that even IRL, other homeschoolers view us very differently than we view ourselves. We've been hsing for 6 years now, and the "new" homeschoolers look at me as if I have all the answers. I look at myself like "What the heck am I doing?!?" High school has me in an absolute panic! So keep in mind when you look at other families and think they've got it all together...they probably feel just as unorganized as the rest of us.

alexdk
02-11-2011, 08:11 AM
We started homeschooling for 2 main reasons:

In SK, my son's school principal pulled me into her office and told me that in grade 1 my son would have a very difficult time and that he needed to be tested for ADHD. My son was a typical boy, bored in the classroom and acting out because of it. He wanted to learn how to read, he wanted to look at books, but the teacher wouldn't help him. I did lots with him on his off days (he went Monday, Wednesday and every other Friday). Anyway, I thought my son didn't need medication to be able to continue in public school, he just needed a different learning environment.

For my daughter, she was the typical "good girl". She was shy and quiet so never gave any trouble to the teacher. The teachers loved her, but she was lacking major knowledge in Math and LA because she never would ask any questions or bring attention to herself. I was concerned that she would just end up in grade 8 not knowing how to do basic math or read. She had completely change as well in personality, becoming very withdrawn and even more quiet. Something was going now that I was uncomfortable with.

Those are the 2 main reasons we started.

Wabi Sabi
02-16-2011, 10:08 AM
The main reason for us wanting to homeschool is dissatisfaction with the quality of education my ds was getting attending our local PS. It was a joke, IMO. The school is extremely disorganized, the principal seems resigned to the fact that they can't do any better because so many of the students live in poverty, and ds's teacher was only half-literate (poor guy really wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, you know?)

We'd do private school except (1) the one that we were interested in didn't have room for ds next year- long wait list, (2) the private schools in town that would have space for him are religious and that would just not be a good fit for our family and (3) we couldn't afford the tuition anyhow. So, by default homeschooling is going to be the best choice for us. We aren't officially getting started until next fall, but I'm already quite excited. In addition I'm also eagerly looking forward to the flexibility that homeschooling with afford us given that my dh and I both work unusual schedules, plus it just happens that I really enjoy spending time with my kids. ;-)

Ana
02-16-2011, 10:52 AM
We home School because public education, as currently implemented, is designed to systematically drive the joy of learning out of children as early as possible: tedious homework; fixed class periods that are rarely just the right length for learning the material; disjoint subjects that obfuscate the relationship between information and useful real-world applications; stressful tests and quizzes; segregation by age and ability; severely limited selection of potential friends, typically 12 years of the same group of 30 kids; limited control over such basic functions as when to awaken, eat or urinate; KIDS SITTING, for HOURS. It's amazing anyone learns anything at all, despite this contrived, convoluted, Byzantine environment. I admire teachers, but they are just as limited and victimized by the strictures of the system as students. The only moderately legitimate purpose school appears to serve is to warehouse children during the day, so parents can work more hours, thereby facilitating payment of school taxes and summer camp bills. ;)

CyndiLJ
02-17-2011, 03:48 PM
We have dozens of reasons to homeschool, many of which I didn't realize until AFTER we started to homeschool! But mainly, I love being with our kids and they love being with me and each other. Isn't THAT enough of a reason?

We have older internationally adopted children in our mix of 5, I have kids working all over the map...above and below grade level...none of them is the perfect fit for any grade level on all subjects.

I love the flexibility and control we have. If something doesn't work, throw it out and find something that does. If we are sick or as in this week when my youngest had a terribly toothache that might require a root canal, we can take time off to let him heal and not shove him into a classroom.

The freedom to study things in depth, even at the lower levels, is awesome. I hadn't realized the effects homeschooling had already had on us all in a mere year and a half until this past Sunday when teaching middle school Sunday School for the first time, and feeling totally ripped off by having only about 30 minutes for a lesson. Heck, at home, we are barely getting started with conversations in that amount of time!

I know my kids better than most parents know their children, because I am with them all the time. Of course, many folks don't want to be with their kids all the time, but I find our children to be fascinating, kind, warm, funny, wonderful people. Who wouldn't want to spend their days in academic pursuits with people like that? I like my kids better than ANY co-workers I have ever had...and frankly find themt o be more intelligent than most of them as well :-)

I like that we have freedom for scheduling school. My husband works seasonally and his best times of year to have off fall in the traditional school year. No more worries about that!

I think we are learning subjects in a more logical fashion, with more interesting materials to work with, and have far more time for exploration of other interests as well.

I could name a hundred more reasons!

Cindy

melaknee
03-01-2011, 10:53 PM
I may have to copy and paste that all over the place, Ana!! Well said, indeed!!

Heather Harris
03-04-2011, 07:31 AM
I'm partially a reluctant homeschooler as well, even though I'm completely confident in my decision to homeschool - we don't really have a choice. As a team, DH and I have decided not to continue vaccinating our children after our oldest had a violent reaction when she was four month old. The state of WV does not offer any kind of vax exemption other than medical (which is nearly impossible to obtain), so, we're homeschooling. Like another poster said, there are many benefits that didn't occur to me until after the decision was made. Ultimately, I think I might have eventually ended up HSing anyway, because the thought of turning my kids over to complete strangers for nine hours a day just doesn't sit well with me. They're my kids, I should be raising them!

Little Brownelf
03-05-2011, 01:17 AM
We homeschool because I work in the community we live and was not satisfied with the local school district. It wasn't just the outside labeling of the district, but working with people from the district, visiting a few local schools and having the worst experience with trying to work with the various local elementary schools (besides the district) ever in my public librarian career. That, coupled with local parent experience, just fueled my desire.

My children have never attended a public school simply because I don't feel the local schools are worthy enough to teach my children (as arrogant or conceited as it sounds.) My husband feels we should go on a year by year basis and would prefer for them to attend a local public school by high school level. I feel that would be a great disservice to them and if they should attend a high school, that it be a charter or high school from a neighboring district. However, time will tell. Our children are still young (5 and 7 yo.)

Ana
03-05-2011, 04:50 AM
I may have to copy and paste that all over the place, Ana!! Well said, indeed!!

I have been telling that to home school groups for years! copy and paste away! If enough people keep saying it, maybe it will get through.