PDA

View Full Version : Anyone dealing w/child bored with HS and asking to go back to PS?



Cactus
01-02-2011, 11:35 AM
We are about to HS our son but leave our Kindergarten daughter in the PS because her teacher is actually very good - very creative and tries to add art & imagination to all aspects of their learning. She is a rarity in a public school, so we love her.

So our 5 yr old daughter would go to school. Our son is in 2nd grade and is only 7. He is very young and immature for being in 2nd grade. We should have held him back in 1st but too late now. Of course back then we weren't considering HSing. Now that we are, we are seriously thinking about just pulling him out now, as it's too much work, he's VERY young, plus the bigger kids exclude him from playing with them in recess (something I HATE and will not tolerate, if I can somehow help it.)

Another thing we're worried about is that while he admits school is hard and no fun, he just may be bored if he's at home without his sister. I can keep him occupied with activities but I'm not sure he will really take to being with his mom all the time.

Do any of you deal with trying to HS a child but the child is just bored and/or wanting to go back to school?

Teri
01-02-2011, 11:42 AM
I have never had anyone claim to be bored because of homeschool. Of course, I have three that are very close in age and they always have each other.
I have also never considered sending one to school and keeping another home. I would consider that short changing the one in school. We do so much outside of the house (also it would cramp our style to have to be up to get one to school and be back to pick him/her up).

MarkInMD
01-02-2011, 12:33 PM
I'm not suggesting this as a plan for you, but we always said we would go by what our children said they wanted to do as far as being in HS or PS. Currently we do have a split in one being home (3rd grade) and the other at school (pre-K), but that's mainly because the pre-K one acts out way more at home than at school, and we wanted him to have some structured time outside of the home setting, at least for a year. Next school year, they'll probably both be home. Our pre-K DS craves other people, even though I wouldn't call him social. He just likes having a lot of activity around him, whether he's initiating it or just watching. So we're a bit concerned about him getting bored at home. No worries about that with our older son. He's repeatedly said he doesn't want to go back to PS, and we don't see that changing.

It is definitely a hassle, as Teri alluded to, when one is in school and the other isn't. Hurricane has a more leisurely pace to his morning routine, while Tornado has to be up by a certain time, dressed and fed, and out the door by 8:20 to catch the bus. Then, if it's a day where only one parent is at home, we have to head to the school to pick him up (about a 5-7 minute drive) because it's a different bus driver that brings him home than the one that picks him up (it's a Headstart bus in the morning, so only those kids are on that bus, whereas the afternoon bus is pre-K to 5th grade, not a mix he'd be comfortable with). It can get annoying having to constantly look at the clock and interrupt the day for pretty much 30 minutes so all that stuff can be done. Plus taking trips is still largely dependent on the PS schedule. We're looking forward to having that headache out of the way, but for now we're leaving him in until the end of the school year for continuity's sake.

I think if it's brand new for your DS right now, there probably will be a period of adjustment as you both figure out what's the best way to approach it all. You might just have to give it time, and if it's really not going to work out for whatever reason, you both will know. But...I'd just suggest not folding on HS too quickly. It's definitely not easy, but given your situation, I can tell you that I'd have no hesitation in going the HS route if those issues were ones my DS faced. I wish you all the best of luck with it.

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-02-2011, 12:54 PM
It depends on your son's personality, I'd say. Does he keep himself amused when he's at home? Does he spend a lot of time playing with his sister or by himself? Depending on where you live, you may find activities or co-ops during school hours for your son with other homeschoolers. You can visit museums, the library, etc. You may be surprised how busy you might be if you find enough to do away from home.

My son (the elder) went to kindergarten last year and my daughter was bored without him, but I wasn't schooling her at that point. Again, if you have school work and activities, you'll find the time goes by quite quickly.

I keep thinking that my kids must be sick of me by now, but they still run to meet me when I come back from weekend errands. I find that I'm the one who needs a break from them, not the other way around!

hockeymom
01-02-2011, 01:51 PM
I worry about it a little bit but only because our out of the home activities and opportunities are so limited right now. We're living here temporarily and DS knows it won't be forever, but he does miss the action of living in a city and having tons to do. But, he was so bored in ps that I think it's just my insecurity that fuels my fear. He's never hinted to wanting to go back and I know he would regret it if he did. I agree that you shouldn't give up on HS too soon and that you'll likely surprise yourself with how busy you can be every day.

Melissa541
01-02-2011, 03:05 PM
Nursing...please forgive typing

Boredom isn't an issue here & we don't follow a curriculum at all. We've slowly evolved into unschoolers, so all the time of every day belongs to my children to do with as they please (with a few exceptions, like doctor appts, necessary errands & the like). I don't remember the last time I had a child tell me she was bored. We keep activities & interesting things available throughout the house: books, magazines, art supplies, toys, scvience kits, blocks. All is available.

I've also not had any of them show signs of being sick of me. I'm present & available, we do some things together, some separately. I follow their leads, really. My eldest left PS at the beginning of 2nd grade after having spent 1st in PS (formal curr HS for 2nd). She's never asked to go back. My 4 year old used to say she wanted to go to "real school on a school bus" but I haven't heard that request in awhile now. :) I'm pretty sure she was more interested in the bus ride than the school-going.

One of the things I love most about our lifestyle are the freedoms to make our own schedules and to go places when most people are at work & school (Chuck E Cheese at 10am on a Tuesday is a beautiful place!). I wouldn't like at all to be hampered by a school's schedule & time demands. Would I do it if one of my children really wanted to? Sure, but I'd be secretly hoping she'd changer her mind. :)

I think it's totally normal to have lots of worries when you're starting Hsing. One by one they'll disappear, only to be replaced by new ones. :) Still, it's awesome.

mamatoherroo
01-02-2011, 09:32 PM
I only have one child, but boredom is never an issue. Because homeschooling can be so individualized it should be great for making it personal for each child. Is your child asking to go back because his sister is in school, or is he really asking to go back because he finds homeschool boring? I found that whenever my daughter decided she was getting bored, because there were not other children in the home for her to occupy her time with, we moved faster in school. Another choice would be to encourage special projects. We use these to let my daughter express her own likes and dislikes. We have studied volcano/earthquakes, dinosaurs, hurricanes, etc. By using a core curriculum, then adding special studies, my daughter stays interested, engaged, and not bored. It is just a suggestion. Good luck!
Linda
Helping my gifted student (http://www.time4learning.com/gifted/gifted-child.htm) beat back boredom, one lesson at a time!

Cactus
01-04-2011, 09:03 AM
Actually, he's still in PS right now. I'm about to pull him (and possibly my daughter) at the end of this week. So it's just my own worry that he may be bored. I've since talked to him about the reality of being at home and the different things we could do and I'm now of the opinion that he's VERY excited.

Plus, if I decide to keep my daughter at home, then neither of them will be bored because they play great together (most of the time). Though they play together, both are good with playing on their own, as well. They are NOT dependent on mom and dad for entertainment, thank god!

So everything is becoming clearer and I feel so much more confident about really doing this and making it a reality.

Mrs. Weasley's Wand
01-04-2011, 06:54 PM
My son, who would have started Kindergarten this past fall had we put him in school, had a very difficult time adjusting to the idea that he wasn't going to be going to school, now, nor likely any time in the future. His two closest friends both started school (in different towns). For the first few weeks there were serious bad moods and attitudes thrown about being at school at the kitchen table and not with other kids. Eventually he responded to the structure of the day, I found what worked well for us, and he "forgot" about being unhappy with the situation as he adjusted, particularly as we found the right level of challenge for him. Though I planned to do school right through the Thursday before Christmas I decided at the last minute to start vacation that Monday and he was thrilled with that flexibility. By the Tuesday after Christmas he was asking to start school again.

One of the things that bothered my son was the idea that he wouldn't get to be with a lot of other kids. We have a co-op that we are part of, but I think he wanted something he saw more as "school". I did promise him pretty early on that I would sign him up for some of the many very cool classes that are available to homeschooled kids in our area as soon as he became old enough. The majority of the classes he would be interested in are often geared toward slightly older children. That promise and knowledge that he would not always be only doing "school" at the table did help motivate my son to accept our plans. I managed to find him a class that started today - he is thrilled and said it is exactly what he hoped. He begged to go to school constantly last September, despite being told very calmly and consistently why we weren't going to be doing that. It's been months since he's asked. Sometimes kids just need an adjustment period. I don't kid myself that my son will never ask to go to school again, but seeing him adjust once will help if he goes through that again.

wild_destiny
01-04-2011, 07:51 PM
I have to confess that my 7 year old daughter, who has never set foot in a public school, has recently been saying that she would like to go to one--because her older sister (who has serious developmental delays) attends public school and occasionally they have parties (on major holidays, so not that often), so when she comes home from ps with a backpack full of party stuff, it makes a big impression on my younger daughter, who now believes that EVERY day is party day at public school. I KNOW my younger daughter would FREAK out at public school (she is very shy and does not like anything that has any loud noises or a lot of people at all, so how would she deal with the public school whirlwind? Yet, getting this across to her is not easy. We are trying to do more interesting things, but it is still a new challenge to convince her that public school is not a daylong party every day. I guess the grass always seems greener on the other side.

Batgirl
01-04-2011, 10:48 PM
Yes, my son has been asking somewhat urgently to return to public school lately. Given our experience in kindergarten last year I don't think it's a good idea. I finally sat down with him and listed out the pros and cons of public school and homeschooling.

Public school pros: Recess, lunch in the lunchroom, seeing his friends every day Cons: Mean people, worksheets, homework.

Homeschool pros: Short day, no worksheets, more play Cons: timeouts, worksheets (I dropped those very recently), misses friends.

Conclusion: We do not need to go back to public school, but we do need more playdates and other social outlets. My son is a lot more gregarious than either my husband or I and we don't always pick up on his need for stimulation. We also need to do more field trips.

Btw, even with him missing his friends, he is rarely bored at home. His creative and pretend play increased dramatically when we brought him home.

Cactus
01-07-2011, 10:25 AM
Well it seems like this will only be a problem if I choose to think it will be! Batgirl, my son's creative and pretend play comes alive when he's home, especially when he's with his sister. I've decided to take my daughter out of Kindergarten at the same time so they both can be HSed together. Though they do fight (as do all siblings), they play together amazingly. And we have some neighborhood kids who we are friendly with, so that's a plus.

I'm now inspired and I thank you all for helping me. I've set a date for their last day at PS - it will be next Friday, Jan. 14. I'm excited that we finally have come to a definite decision after researching curricula (I'm not buying one now, but I like to have all ducks in a row earlier rather than later), after going through options of what we will focus on for the rest of the year (so I can be interested in all that they do to avoid burnout).

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-07-2011, 10:32 AM
I've set a date for their last day at PS - it will be next Friday, Jan. 14.

I'm excited for you, Cactus! My kids are 18 months apart and having a blast at home together. They're out in the living room having a Michael Jackson dance party right now. :)

MarkInMD
01-07-2011, 11:04 AM
My kids are 18 months apart and having a blast at home together. They're out in the living room having a Michael Jackson dance party right now. :)

For...science class, right? :)

Good for you for taking the plunge, Cactus. You'll see it's worth it soon enough, but allow yourself some imperfections or you'll go insane.

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-07-2011, 11:51 AM
For...science class, right? :)

Music appreciation, duh!

The way they dance involves much flailing of limbs and jumping off furniture, so it would probably qualify for physical education, too.

Cactus
01-10-2011, 09:18 AM
Yes, I'm taking the plunge. But I'm really worried about how I will handle being with the kids ALL the time. I'm not the type of parent who totally loves being around kids all the time. Please don't misunderstand - I love my kids dearly. But I am very sensitive (way more than the average person) to noise, chaos, very sensitive to my external environment and need downtime very frequently. And that is hard to get when the kids are around.

I keep telling myself that I am the parent and I will be able to say when "quiet time in your room" is...but I worry that it will just not happen the way I want it to. I worry that I will go crazy with their demands for food (they're always hungry, like all kids), or if they hit some dull moments in the day and start whining...

I know I shouldn't be negative and think about these things but in the same breath, I feel I need to think of the REALITY of having the kids here all day, every day and not to be in la la land about what I prefer homeschooling to be.

LA LA LAND: Kids wake up, play in morning, letting me have coffee, breakfast & read. They play nicely until I'm done working out, showering...we have some time to do some "school" things, whatever...lunch is easy, and in the afternoon we have school segments and they just play without fighting or they tinker around upstairs and be occupied and happy all day until daddy gets home.

REALITY: They may whine about who punched whom, wanting to go back to school, they want a 2nd and 3rd breakfast and I haven't even started my coffee yet, they play but they get loud and wild and it's loud and chaotic, they want a snack (and I haven't even eaten my own breakfast), all these interruptions, my attempt at quiet time upstairs may not work at all and I may be left completely frazzled at the end of the day!

I try to think of the big picture, the most important reasons why we are HSing but I do worry that I will have no patience (not my strong point at all) and that I will be overloaded with chaos (and loud screaming - these kids are REALLY loud).

Are any of you drained by being with your kids every single day (and I know that no matter what, we all love our kids even though there will be chaotic times)...

dbmamaz
01-10-2011, 10:05 AM
Wow, I have to FORCE my kids to eat lol. My kids (and I) are big on electronics. So they are playing video games in the morning until i force them to eat and dress. I have a schedule for the entire day (which includes walking the dog, lunch, etc) which helps reign in the chaos. As soon as I say school is out, they are glued to a tube somewhere. You do need to meet your kids need for physical excersise, that helps keep the fighting at bay. And I would get more strict w when food does and doesnt happen - how can they eat three breakfasts? You really should make a signature, tho, so we know how many kids you have and what age - i hate not knowing that.

but yes, i do get the part about needing a break - i often remind myself that there was a reason I never considered being a teacher. I dont find spending all day w my kids to be the best part of homeschooling. But i do find meeting their needs to be the best part. I've gotten used to the noise (but dh still struggles w it - even when they are just talking to themselves while playing).

MarkInMD
01-10-2011, 11:56 AM
Yeah, I just keep telling myself that all those people who say, "Oh, I love being with my kids and can't stand being away from them for even a moment!" are a) fooling themselves and/or b) completely full of it. :)

Balance is really important, I agree. And it definitely is possible. It'll probably take some time to achieve it, but if you have a spouse/significant other, you should probably be up front ASAP about the fact that you'll be looking for some "time off" from the kids at some point, and if possible let them know how often and how long. Also you should probably just say that if you have "one of those days" that he should just let you go blow off some steam, no questions asked. If that goes left unsaid for too long, the ugly beast called Resentment will be more likely to rear its ugly head, and nobody wants that.

I love the La-La Land and Reality sketches. That's pretty much dead-on!

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
01-10-2011, 01:45 PM
I know what you mean about "loud" and needing some time to yourself. I send the kids upstairs sometimes just so I can have a break from the stomping and the screaming and the crashing around. If they are fighting, the threat to split them up usually does the trick (I only had to do it once). If I've really had it, I put in a video. Instant, blissful silence. :) Too bad the days of sending your kids outside till the streetlights came on are long gone!

I don't really have the expectation of uninterrupted time during weekdays. I usually have to wait until the kids go to bed to get more than five minutes of a book in. Ditto what Mark said about staking out some time for yourself--a few hours on the weekend or whenever fits in the schedule. Nothing recharges my batteries (and patience, cheerfulness, and sense of humor) like being able to have the house to myself for an afternoon or taking a book to a coffee shop. Demand it. Often.

Cactus
01-10-2011, 07:25 PM
Wow, I have to FORCE my kids to eat lol. My kids (and I) are big on electronics. So they are playing video games in the morning until i force them to eat and dress. I have a schedule for the entire day (which includes walking the dog, lunch, etc) which helps reign in the chaos. As soon as I say school is out, they are glued to a tube somewhere. You do need to meet your kids need for physical excersise, that helps keep the fighting at bay. And I would get more strict w when food does and doesnt happen - how can they eat three breakfasts? You really should make a signature, tho, so we know how many kids you have and what age - i hate not knowing that.

but yes, i do get the part about needing a break - i often remind myself that there was a reason I never considered being a teacher. I dont find spending all day w my kids to be the best part of homeschooling. But i do find meeting their needs to be the best part. I've gotten used to the noise (but dh still struggles w it - even when they are just talking to themselves while playing).

About the 3 breakfasts, I was only kidding. I was just making a point that they always seem to be hungry despite a very healthy serving of a healthy breakfast. To be honest, my kids love to eat. That's why we have to pay extra attention to what we feed them and what we have in the house. And although I didn't indicate it in my post, we are pretty strict with the main mealtimes. Whenever they whine that they're hungry, it's usually when they hit a bored moment. That's when I tell them they can either have fruit, apple/banana with peanut butter, or spinach leaves. They bolt for the fruit and I don't hear about it again until lunch.

And you're right about the physical exercise. I'm very lucky in that these kids are naturally active and thankfully are very lean. So they burn up that food instantly. My husband is great with them and he's also very active (always outside playing hockey, doing yardwork) with the kids. Plus, I'm into gymnastics, hubby is into tae qwan do and we instruct the kids in those activities at home.

We're not big on TV or video games but I know that if I'm at my wit's end, I will not hesitate to put something on. My hubby has his own construction business so he makes his own schedule. He's often home to do outside work, paperwork, or just to take the kids fishing. So if I need a break, I think I'll be OK.

My son is 7 and daughter is 5. I just sent the email to the principal about a half hour ago notifying the school that we'll be homeschooling starting this Friday!

Sam
01-10-2011, 07:42 PM
YAY for jumping in! The first weeks are the worst. We're on week 9 and are finally coming into some semblance of a normal day. Also, implementing regular "quiet time" is good for keeping parental sanity!

KristinK
01-10-2011, 10:32 PM
congrats on making the step!! I think it will go great, since your outline of "reality" certainly fits the bill, LOL!

and mine are like that with food too. They all wake early (like 6am), so have breaky then, then are hungry again at 8 and 10am..so really, they do kinda have 3 breakfasts! I try to implement regular food times, but it doesn't always work. we're real snackers around here, so I always try to have healthy quick stuff ready to direct them towards.

dbmamaz
01-10-2011, 11:25 PM
I tell them they can either have fruit, apple/banana with peanut butter, or spinach leaves. They bolt for the fruit
What, they dont choose the spinach leaves? ;)


I just sent the email to the principal about a half hour ago notifying the school that we'll be homeschooling starting this Friday!
Congradulations!!!

hockeymom
01-11-2011, 05:06 AM
That's great! Looking forward to hearing about your adventure! :)