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dbsam
06-05-2016, 11:13 PM
Do you follow age/grade requirements when signing your children up for activities and classes? Lately I've noticed some HS'ers place their children in older groups for classes and activities. I am not sure if they feel their children are more advanced, more mature, will get more out of it, or there is some other reason.

One one hand, I guess this isn't a big deal, but it can be irritating. My children were recently signed up for an activity for grade 6-12, there were some children who were obviously younger...probably 9 or 10. Due to the nature of the activity, it wasn't a big deal. We also have friends who place their 6th graders into summer camps for ages 8th grade plus. Or others who put their 11 and 12 yo children into the 13+ groups for activities. So, are the rule followers left with the younger children who have been 'bumped up' while their peers hang out with the older crowd? If you paid for a class for your 8th+ grader, would you mind that there were 6th graders in the class? (I know ability may be more important than age in some cases.)

I am a rule follower and I assume the ages are set for a reason. In general, if I don't like a rule, I will try to have it changed but I do not simply ignore it. I also do not want my children to be in a position to lie about their age.
Does anyone else think about this or am I just crabby tonight?

eta: I was kicked out as I was typing my poll choices. I am not sure how to get them back into the thread.

A. I follow the age/grade requirements.
B. I go by ability and ignore the age/grade requirements.
C. I go by ability and ask if my child can be moved up into a higher level.
D. My child is exceptional in all ways so I enroll them in a higher age level knowing they will rise to the challenge :)
E. I don't enroll my children in anything.
F. Other

alexsmom
06-06-2016, 12:52 AM
My husband is a stickler for rules. For example, if I mistakenly get in a turn lane and the lane divider is solid white, he is ADAMENT that I may not get back into the through-lanes, even if there is no other traffic. Needless to say, there is no underage facebooking or google accounts at our house. (He also plays Monopoly by the official rules, and refuses to play by my *nicer* rules.)

I however, am more of a *spirit of the law* person. Ive intentionally proceeded through an intersection where the traffic signal was not working properly (the side street went to a construction site, and was fenced off across the street - and the turn light exiting the fenced off site always had a long green light). DH would wait the two some minutes for the light to give him permission to go forth.

The world is probably a better place for having both types of people.

In the situation of 9-10yos present when 12+ was requested.... if the administrators knew and didnt care, it could just be a policy they have in case there is someone they deem *too young*. Or they give priority enrollment to 12+. Or there was a sibling 12+ attending, and it was just easier to make it an activity for all the kids.
But thats my rule-bending inclinations.

I dont think youre crabby. You have reasonable justifications for your view, and a reasonable solution for the other parents. But Im not wired that way.

As far as polls go - we are one for "letter of the law", and one for "spirit of the law".

dbsam
06-06-2016, 01:01 AM
As far as polls go - we are one for "letter of the law", and one for "spirit of the law".

I like your poll choices!

aselvarial
06-06-2016, 01:53 AM
I am a "by the age"...only with other groups of ppl. And that is largely because I was so tall as a kid (i hit 5ft6in by 10) that I was always classed with kids older than I was. And while I loved it, it made it really really hard to tolerate kids of my own age when I had to. Younger kids was SO not happening. And I don't want that for Tech. He is really tall for his age (he's 52 inches at 6) but was a preemie so is delayed in things like speech, and so we go by age.

However, toys, movies, things that are not a group thing, we totally go by what I think he's ready for. He's 6 and watches selected (pre-screened) PG-13 movies. And started playing with the 8+ Lego kits when he was 5. However, he still can't ride a bike or tie his shoes. So he's all over the place. :-)

darkelf
06-06-2016, 03:49 AM
I am a "by the age"...only with other groups of ppl. And that is largely because I was so tall as a kid (i hit 5ft6in by 10) that I was always classed with kids older than I was. And while I loved it, it made it really really hard to tolerate kids of my own age when I had to. Younger kids was SO not happening. And I don't want that for Tech. He is really tall for his age (he's 52 inches at 6) but was a preemie so is delayed in things like speech, and so we go by age.

However, toys, movies, things that are not a group thing, we totally go by what I think he's ready for. He's 6 and watches selected (pre-screened) PG-13 movies. And started playing with the 8+ Lego kits when he was 5. However, he still can't ride a bike or tie his shoes. So he's all over the place. :-)

I have 5 boys.... They all road bikes "late" at around 8. (I even got the younger 2 balance bikes and while that helped some, their motor skills didn't kick into gear until about 8) shoe tying? seriously I gave up. It takes my 17 year old son 10 minutes to put on his shoes or change his shoes. (And he is in Track, where you change your shoes for different events)I won't even talk about potty training. They understood the concept fine, but the motor skills to potty train took forever to kick in.

but Legos, no problem, we can do Legos in our sleep.(but I still wouldn't buy my son a master builder set because it says 10 on it. But that is because he can't read and I would have to read it to him.)

My point is that different kids develop different skills at different times. (Except my 5, who are annoyingly alike.) I stopped worrying about age and concentrate on ability level.

I am a rule follower. I would say "spirit of the rule". (Though I can be pretty black and white according to my Dh.)

TFZ
06-06-2016, 07:34 AM
A. I'm a rules girl. It annoys me when other people think the rules don't apply to them so I hear ya loud and clear.

Starkspack
06-06-2016, 08:21 AM
Mostly I'm a rule follower in this sort of situation. Two separate occasions DD was placed in an art class that was for older kids. Both times it was because the "younger" class didn't make. As it happens, DD is very mature for her age and can totally hang with older kids. In fact, she prefers older kids to age-mates. (I was always the same way.) So I was fine with the bump up in theory, but I always worry in situations like that that other parents will think that *I* asked for the "special treatment." For some reason, I'm super sensitive to things like that.

The local college used to run Super Saturdays in the summer months, for advanced kids (rising) grade 3 to 8 to come do classes with college professors in a variety of topics. I desperately wanted to get DD in to those, I could hardy wait. Since at age 6-7 she was doing 3rd grade work, I seriously considered asking for an exception. But I didn't, I just couldn't do it. As it happens, THIS summer she'd be eligible at last, and they stopped the program. Sigh.

dbsam
06-06-2016, 09:07 AM
Mostly I'm a rule follower in this sort of situation. Two separate occasions DD was placed in an art class that was for older kids. Both times it was because the "younger" class didn't make. As it happens, DD is very mature for her age and can totally hang with older kids. In fact, she prefers older kids to age-mates. (I was always the same way.) So I was fine with the bump up in theory, but I always worry in situations like that that other parents will think that *I* asked for the "special treatment." For some reason, I'm super sensitive to things like that.


I think there are circumstances where it makes sense to 'bump up' a child when there is a specific skill set and the child is obviously qualified. I remembered last night that it happened to my son when he played tennis. He was 9/10 and the coach moved him into the middle school group. I would not have asked for the move, but the coach felt lessons with the younger group were a waste of time and he was holding his own with the older kids so I don't think it was an issue with the other parents - but maybe it was.

The situations I have noticed are more fun or social situations that can be appropriate for any age but have age requirements. I realize it is not just HS'ers who do this.

Some examples:
When my children were 10 I signed them up for an all sports camp. It was for 6-10 yo's who never played group sports but wanted to learn the basic rules for several sports. It was already a wide age gap and a lot of people dropped off their 5 yo's. It was a waste of money because it ended up being a babysitting service held at a 5yo level.

Often the library has programs that state specific ages (Nerf Wars, drawing classes, book clubs, etc.) Of course, many younger children are completely capable and they wouldn't 'ruin' the class, but since there are age requirements, I wait until my children are the proper age.

We recently had a HS field days. I signed my children up for the 12 and under group. We ended up not making it, but I noticed their friends, who are 11 and 12, signed up for the 13+ group...why?

These situations are not not a big deal, I just don't understand it. I understand it more when a child is truly above age for an activity or academic subject. I do not understand it when the activity is just for fun or a social get-together.

I think this I see this more since the kids are 11 turning 12. They are not teenagers, but are not little kids either. A local Arboretum has summer camp for children 6-12. It sounded like a great camp but when I heard they are not dividing by ages I didn't sign up my children. They are turning 12 this month and I think it is too wide an age group; they are not 13 so I wouldn't sign them up for a 13-18 group.

Sorry for the long ramble...

inmom
06-06-2016, 09:18 AM
We recently had a HS field days. I signed my children up for the 12 and under group. We ended up not making it, but I noticed their friends, who are 11 and 12, signed up for the 13+ group...why?

I'm with you. When my kids were 10/11, there was no way I'd sign them up for the 13+ age group. There are far too many differences between those ages.

Through the homeschooling years, we stuck to the age group rules. Except when asked to coach and bring an academic team to a high school competition at a local campus. I couldn't form a big enough team with only high school age students so I asked if I could bring 8th graders as well. Turns out the young team that year (half composed of 8th graders) did quite well for themselves. In this case, as in others that were posted earlier, the kids were capable of competing at that level.

Riceball_Mommy
06-06-2016, 09:31 AM
I go by age when we sign up for things. We have one place that does classes that has strict rule about the age ranges on the classes. They say they'll make an exception if you talk to the person teaching the class and get their approval and the priority is given to the kids in the target age range.

RTB
06-06-2016, 10:16 AM
I go by the rules the majority of the time. The only thing I fudge is with the local library. They lump 4-8 together and 9-12. My 8 year old is just too old to make a paper bag puppet. She wants to make the cool tween stuff. When she has done stuff with her age group, she is by far the oldest so it is no fun for her.

skrink
06-06-2016, 10:47 AM
I tend to go in the other direction. Dd is both small for her age AND young for her age, and although she wouldn't be happy in a group of littles, if there is a cut off and she's just over the line I will put her in the younger group. I always check with the powers that be first, though, just because I think it's only fair.

I have acquaintances who always put their children in the older group. We had an activity this past month for incoming high school age students. Since it was a high interest activity for dd, and she does fit the age group, we signed her up. One mom signed up her NINE yo. That irritates me no end. This is a woman who graduates all of her children by age 14 though, so I guess it fits. The kid was bored and wanting to leave, but he was stuck. So much of this is parent ego.

Riceball_Mommy
06-06-2016, 10:51 AM
With our local co-op I'm more likely to try to stick Teemie in the younger age group. She's tall for age, but also has reading difficulties and bonded with a bunch of kids a year or two younger anyway. So going with the younger group usually keeps her with her friends and a lower expectation on reading and writing.

TFZ
06-06-2016, 10:54 AM
I have no prob if your kid is placed in a different class. Most of the stuff we sign up for is on the honor system. We experience the opposite in the little kids age group stuff. Not looking forward to it especially this time of year. We do the kids activities marked 5 and under, and we see the older brothers and sisters that areally 7, 10, huge. I don't care if they come to sit at a music class, for example, but it's a pain in the ass when there is a giant ten year old boy swinging around the open gymnastics and landing right next to my 2yo.

muddylilly
06-06-2016, 11:04 AM
Yeah, I think stay with your age. I agree with the previous posters that said as much. Nuff said.

LKnomad
06-06-2016, 12:46 PM
I had a situation when I signed DS up for a physics class that was for 11+. He was 13 going on 14 so I thought the middle school level was OK. But when they found out the class was small they asked if I would mind adding the 8-10 year old. Um yes! This was a physics class. There is a difference in math ability and since there were two 14 year old (mine was turning 14 in a month) I told them it was a pretty bad idea. They keep the classes seperated.

I have another child (the one heading to college) who was extremely advanced in math and in his public school they didn't allow a move up. So I made a big fuss, and they tested him... And put him in a higher math class. Not parent ego in his case. It was student need proven by test scores.

But as a former PS parent, I have seen the worst in parents who believe little Johnny is terribly gifted. But not every single Johnny is at a higher level, yet so so so many parent want their johnnies to be with the smartest (older) kids. There was so much ego, especially in the elementary school and there were actually fights in PTA meetings when kids were moved out of advanced classes because a child who was more advanced actually needed place. One dad had a tantrum because his kid was being displaced by a kid who was tested at a higher level. His kid was going to be put into a classes with the "regular" kids and this was unacceptable.

Glad that stage is over.

Artmama
06-06-2016, 01:17 PM
I would be an option C person - I go by ability and ask if my child can be moved into a higher/lower level. In a lot of cases the age isn't a big deal - it is about the maturity but sometimes there are insurance considerations for the program providers and such. As an arts educator I am always more concerned about maturity than age anyway. I'll take an artistically inclined 5yo over an 8yo that still runs with scissors and shoves crayons up his nose any day!

Mariam
06-06-2016, 01:33 PM
I have 5 boys.... They all road bikes "late" at around 8. (I even got the younger 2 balance bikes and while that helped some, their motor skills didn't kick into gear until about 8) shoe tying? seriously I gave up. It takes my 17 year old son 10 minutes to put on his shoes or change his shoes. (And he is in Track, where you change your shoes for different events)I won't even talk about potty training. They understood the concept fine, but the motor skills to potty train took forever to kick in.



Thanks for mentioning this. DS has had trouble riding a bike at 8. We have hesitated getting him another one (he outgrew his old one) and are trying to figure out if we should wait.

Mariam
06-06-2016, 01:38 PM
Only once did I ask for him to participate in an activity that was a year above him. It doesn't work for him.

His ability level is usually fine, but his emotional-maturity level is an issue. As a result, I have decided not to ask to put him in above his age. I would rather that he is older age-wise then younger in the group.

Though this always causes problems too, because he is so tall that people expect even more from him. (He's is as tall as some 12 year olds.)

dbsam
06-06-2016, 01:47 PM
Thanks for mentioning this. DS has had trouble riding a bike at 8. We have hesitated getting him another one (he outgrew his old one) and are trying to figure out if we should wait.

My daughter started riding without training wheels later than most kids. She was nervous so she went too slow and would fall. She was also on medication that made her spacey and confused; I think it may have affected her balance too. I was also part of her delay because a part of me was glad she wasn't riding since she has epilepsy and I worried. Now, she loves riding her bike!

Regarding purchasing bikes, we have gone through several for each because the kids keep growing more than we anticipate. But we didn't want them on bikes that were too big for them.

Oksana
06-06-2016, 01:55 PM
For NT kids, I go by their age and ability level combined, don't mind bending the rules a little, but with the instructor's/teacher's approval. DD6 is in a ballet class with 8-10yos because she went through previous levels faster than other kids and was placed in her current age-accelerated group by her ballet teacher and it works fine for her - she does not care about hanging out with other kids, she is there to learn ballet and wants to move faster to bigger parts in their shows. Her gymnastics class is by ability level too. But last summer, I signed her up for a summer swim team that had 6-10 age range, she just turned 6 and the instructor said that she should be fine... and she was not - she was the smallest, the slowest, she had to swim with 10yo boys, and we stopped going even though she was fine by their official cut-off.

With SN DD8 I go by her ability level, not her age. There is no way she can hang out with other 8yos. She is much more comfortable and on-the-same-level with a 4-6yos. I always talk to the instructors beforehand and they have always agreed....and I do not care what other parents think. If someone gets pissed that their 4yo is playing dolls or does circle dances with my 8yo, they will have to get over it...be tolerant.

skrink
06-06-2016, 02:47 PM
Thanks for mentioning this. DS has had trouble riding a bike at 8. We have hesitated getting him another one (he outgrew his old one) and are trying to figure out if we should wait.

Same. Dd learned to ride at 12. We had bought her bikes for her size all the way through, until at 12 she was able (and, especially, willing) to learn. Age and ability don't always follow convergent paths, which makes questions like the OP's difficult to answer. I am a strict rule follower, except for when I'm not. ;) Common sense about size, ability levels, maturity, and interest has to come into it somewhere. Isn't "asynchronous learning" sort of a catch phrase for homeschoolers, and part of why many bring their kids home? If we think it's not appropriate to be forced into lockstep with age mates in a school setting, why do we insist upon it in outside activities (beyond the size, ability, maturity, and interest issues mentioned above)?

All of that said, I never sneak her in or lie about her age/grade to get her into something. We're open about our reasons and if the person in charge isn't on board, we find another activity. You also have to be on the lookout for teachers or coaches who say "yes" to everyone, and don't have the staff or are otherwise unable to meet the needs of a wide age range. Dd's art teacher had an upper level class that she allowed sibs to tag along to. People brought 4 and 5 yos. It was chaos. No one gets what they need in that situation.

crunchynerd
06-17-2016, 12:42 AM
My daughter started riding without training wheels later than most kids. She was nervous so she went too slow and would fall. She was also on medication that made her spacey and confused; I think it may have affected her balance too. I was also part of her delay because a part of me was glad she wasn't riding since she has epilepsy and I worried. Now, she loves riding her bike!

Regarding purchasing bikes, we have gone through several for each because the kids keep growing more than we anticipate. But we didn't want them on bikes that were too big for them.

Based on the idea that training wheels actually hinder, more than help, developing confidence and balance, we didn't do them, ever. DD learned to ride a bike in one afternoon, at age 7. DS, the same. It was okay that they weren't riding at 5 or 6 on what would have been tricycles in earlier generations. They consulted their older neighborhood friend whose Dad is from another country and culture, who goes there every summer, and she also learned to ride without training wheels in a day, at an appropriate age, and shared her method.

If I wanted to help it happen younger, I'd take the pedals and gears off a bike, making it into a sort of coaster bike. They sell those for a small fortune online, with the idea that coasting along with feet pushing along the ground instead of trying to pedal, is better for learning the intrinsic balancing necessary for biking, so why pay that if all you have to do is take the pedals and gears off, and make a junker bike into a coaster bike for no money?

Anyway, it works for us, and we don't go through years of training wheels. Kind of like not teaching kids to tie shoelaces before they are ready, and so instead of taking years at it and it being painful, taking a day or two, and having it be relatively easy. For me and my kids, that meant age 8 instead of age 6, for shoelaces, and 7 instead of 5, for bikes. We don't feel we missed out on anything but anxiety.

dbsam
06-17-2016, 01:56 AM
Based on the idea that training wheels actually hinder, more than help, developing confidence and balance, we didn't do them, ever. DD learned to ride a bike in one afternoon, at age 7. DS, the same. It was okay that they weren't riding at 5 or 6 on what would have been tricycles in earlier generations. They consulted their older neighborhood friend whose Dad is from another country and culture, who goes there every summer, and she also learned to ride without training wheels in a day, at an appropriate age, and shared her method.

If I wanted to help it happen younger, I'd take the pedals and gears off a bike, making it into a sort of coaster bike. They sell those for a small fortune online, with the idea that coasting along with feet pushing along the ground instead of trying to pedal, is better for learning the intrinsic balancing necessary for biking, so why pay that if all you have to do is take the pedals and gears off, and make a junker bike into a coaster bike for no money?

Anyway, it works for us, and we don't go through years of training wheels. Kind of like not teaching kids to tie shoelaces before they are ready, and so instead of taking years at it and it being painful, taking a day or two, and having it be relatively easy. For me and my kids, that meant age 8 instead of age 6, for shoelaces, and 7 instead of 5, for bikes. We don't feel we missed out on anything but anxiety.


I agree in theory, and that is how my son learned to ride - without training wheels, when he was ready.
However, circumstances are different for some children. My daughter wanted to ride around the block but couldn't do it without the training wheels and at the time I wasn't familiar with coaster bikes. As I mentioned, part of it was me being afraid of her having a seizure while riding so I was reluctant to take the training wheels off and part of it was her lack of balance. Once we all decided she was ready, we took her to a parking lot, put her on the bike without the training wheels and within the day she was riding. I guess we could have waiting until she was ready to ride without the training wheels but she would have missed out on a couple years of fun with the other kids. If her seizure activity didn't improve or we were unable to take her off her meds, she may never have ridden without training wheels, maybe she would have gotten a large three-wheel bike, or just accepted the fact that biking wasn't for her.

crunchynerd
06-19-2016, 10:01 PM
Circumstances and individuals do vary, you're quite right. Sorry if I came off sounding pompous, decrying training wheels. I don't think training wheels are evil, just in my case I'd do the no-pedals coasting bike in preference to them if possible, but in the case of a child with seizures, it's wonderful that you found a way for her to ride a bike at all! Kudos!

Funny, but I actually saw something unnerving to any parent, yet EXCELLENT once I got over the fear factor: on a walk through a quiet street of family-friendly duplexes, two little boys suddenly shot like bullets out of their driveway and the bigger one zoomed down a hill in the road on his bike with expert ease, jumping his bike in the process. A half-second later the really little one came roaring down that same curving hill so fast his bike was trying to lean over, but it had training wheels.

I was certain he was going to be all road-rash in a second, but he practically left skid marks with the tires as he ground into that turn and never slowed, just yelled out in victory and joy. It was apparent he had done this many times, and was an expert at it.

At that moment, I recall thinking "Huh... I guess training wheels didn't hurt HIM any!"
For him, they were superfluous and needed to come off, as they actually hindered his maneuverability, but I'm sure his parents will either realize it, or he'll do like my sister did and take them off himself one day. But it definitely made me realize there is more than one way to learn something.

crunchynerd
06-19-2016, 11:17 PM
We try to avoid things with an age/grade requirement as much as possible, because my kids don't fit at all well with most age/grade requirements, though it depends on which kid, and what the requirements are, and the group and what it is for.

DS8 is just not 8 in any way except the date on his birth certificate. He's "many ages at once" and it's really hard to navigate.
Some feel that exceptions are elitist, and I can see why in a lot of cases. There has to be a viable and sensible reason; it can't just be rank opportunism by someone too selfish to play by the rules, or who thinks rules don't apply to them.

But there is a flip side to "rules are rules" and it can be unfair to the majority when someone exceptional, isn't given an exception. For instance, my son fits in well, physically, with 6th and 7th graders. But he's technically a 2nd grader. In sports, they place them by age, not size, even though size really matters, and yes kids come in all sizes, but no one wants 2nd graders playing against 7th graders, for a reason.

In other ways, it's problematic when a kid who would be happy in, and challenged by, course work designed for 6th and 7th graders, is forced to sit in a class designed for 2nd graders, also. It's boring, and pointless, and brings out the worst in that kid.

Fairness, equality, and equity, are more complicated than meets the eye, and whereas standing in line merits few exceptions (but heavily pregnant women and people on crutches ought to get exceptions), things like classes and workshops ought to be more flexible about placing people in their ability group, rather than assuming that age and grade predicts ability.

aselvarial
06-20-2016, 04:11 AM
crunchnerd- square peg meets round hole. :-) That's my kid. Not surprising since that was his dad and I as kids. My mom, who so mellowed as she got older, always tells me when I worry, "he'll get there when he's ready". And he always has. It may be earlier, or later than what I planned, but he always gets there eventually. And if I just let him come to things when he's ready for it, it goes SO much easier than if I try to force it on an arbitrary schedule. Thankfully, since he's an only child who is homeschooled, he can BE a square peg and we'll just make a little square hole for him to fit in.

crunchynerd
06-20-2016, 01:55 PM
crunchnerd- square peg meets round hole. :-) That's my kid. Not surprising since that was his dad and I as kids. My mom, who so mellowed as she got older, always tells me when I worry, "he'll get there when he's ready". And he always has. It may be earlier, or later than what I planned, but he always gets there eventually. And if I just let him come to things when he's ready for it, it goes SO much easier than if I try to force it on an arbitrary schedule. Thankfully, since he's an only child who is homeschooled, he can BE a square peg and we'll just make a little square hole for him to fit in.

Aslevarial, your mom sounds cool!
I'm hoping to graduate to being one of those uber-mellow older parents or grandparents, one of these days!
I love the peg analogy, and your talking about how he's a homeschooled only, so it's easier, made me laugh, picturing myself with one of those round shape-fitting baby toys, trying to fit a star peg, a square peg, a triangular peg, and a paisley peg, into shape-shifting holes while a ticker counts down the seconds remaining! hehe!
Those are my kids, but the ticker is imaginary, except that they grow up.

Free Thinker
06-20-2016, 03:28 PM
I haven't tried to get mine into activities clearly for older kids, but I will tag on younger kids if I am taking the oldest 2 if the teacher says it's okay and the activity is appropriate. I also take older kids to activities for the younger if they want to go. I guess I'm an agree with the spirits of the rule type person, but I also want to make everyone included. I would not take a space ment for an older kid if the class size was limited.


And for the bike riding, one if mine is very timid and refused to ride a bike for years b/c she was afraid of falling. She ended up learning to ride w/o training wheels around 9, and at 11 rides all over the farm and loves her bike. She has one w/ a big basket on it, so she can take things to grandma or her dad if he's out working on the farm ;) I truly believe each child is individual and learns and grows at their own pace, though sometimes we need to encourage and nudge them along.

dottieanna29
06-20-2016, 05:43 PM
I generally follow the age guidelines. It gets sticky when they are GRADE guidelines, not age. Ds has a late August birthday, which around here means red-shirting for kindergarten. When he declassified/graduated from Early Intervention, they told us not to send him back for K until he was 6 (part of what led to us homeschooling). But, he's working at the grade level he'd be if he started at 5, and higher than that in some things. So, we stick with the age he would be starting at 6, but that makes him one of the youngest in whatever activity he is doing. He's doing classes at our university G&T program. He is doing the grade 6 level this summer and I expect him to do fine. They are strict about the grades - it must be according to state law cut-offs and we put him where he'd be without red-shirting.

I much prefer when things are by age, not grade. Most sports here do age by a certain cut-off date. Dd is doing swim team this summer. She is in the 8 and under group because the cut-off is June 1st, but she is easily the biggest kid in that age group. She turns 9 on July 22nd AND she's big for her age. But, it's also her first year on the team so I wouldn't want her to be in a higher group.

ETA: we run a 4-H STEM group where it's for Grades 3 to 7 (7 to 12 years old). Next year we're upping it to Grades 4 to 8th (8 to 13) and will up it each year, so the kids can grow with the club. The ONLY exception I'm making is for younger siblings of current members in good-standing, with the understanding that the older sibling and/or a parent must be on hand to assist the younger siblings. In reality, we have a few younger siblings that end up participating in quite a few of the activities anyway and it hasn't been a problem yet.

aselvarial
06-20-2016, 08:30 PM
Aslevarial, your mom sounds cool!
I'm hoping to graduate to being one of those uber-mellow older parents or grandparents, one of these days!
I love the peg analogy, and your talking about how he's a homeschooled only, so it's easier, made me laugh, picturing myself with one of those round shape-fitting baby toys, trying to fit a star peg, a square peg, a triangular peg, and a paisley peg, into shape-shifting holes while a ticker counts down the seconds remaining! hehe!
Those are my kids, but the ticker is imaginary, except that they grow up.

My mom wasn't mellow when I was a child. She freaked over EVERYTHING! She's MUCH more mellow now! I think it's easier to be mellow when you're the grandparent. :-)
Tech when he was little had this wooden cube thing that you put these little pegs in. We bought it used, and it had all these little square holes and round holes. BUT, only square pegs. Lots and lots of square pegs. My dad took it to his house and fixed it. He cut all the round holes into square holes. That's why I tend to think of that analogy. Tech was constantly trying to shove round pegs into square holes. Grandpa fixed the holes rather than make round pegs. :-)