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View Full Version : Friends cranking at me about homeschool blog.



Stephany
11-01-2010, 01:16 PM
So this blog entry made (http://naturallysimple.org/homeschool_journal/2010/11/01/those-poor-socialized-public-school-children/) is making me popular amongst my friends. I've already received an e-mail and a phone call from friends who send their kids to school telling me that I am way out-of-line with the title.

How would you respond?

ETA: I have a family blog and I used to throw something like this on that every once-in-awhile. I actually started the homeschool blog so that those friends and family who weren't interested in hearing about homeschooling, didn't have to read it. Now granted, I haven't updated the family blog recently but seriously, I already tried to accommodate them...

Teri
11-01-2010, 02:09 PM
A blog is supposed to represent your feelings on a subject. I don't think you are out of line. It's your opinion.
They can right about the positive aspects of public school socialization on THEIR blog.

MamaB2C
11-01-2010, 02:20 PM
Ask them if you can address their criticisms on the blog itself, for the edification of others

archibael
11-01-2010, 02:25 PM
Looks great to me. I have long asserted that the public schools are a breeding ground for cruelty, rudeness, and hard-hearted ridicule (most teen television is, too, but I am torn on whether that is cause or effect). Those who claim that homeschoolers will miss out on a "common socialization experience" don't seem to understand how damaging that common experience has been over the past 50+ years to the social fabric they seek to preserve.

Your friends and family are being defensive about their own choices, much as people usually are (including homeschoolers). I would shrug it off, but I'm an arrogant nonconformist; I can understand why you might want to smooth it over with people you have in your life.

wild_destiny
11-01-2010, 04:02 PM
Frankly, I thought your blog was beautiful and heartfelt. Nowhere did I get the impression that you are badgering people for having different choices. You really just come off as stating your opinion. It DOES strike me as odd, though, that other people feel completely justified in commenting negatively on any and every aspect of homeschooling, yet if a homeschooler comments on the benefits of homeschooling, those same people are offended. It seems to be a double standard.

Miguels mommy
11-01-2010, 04:47 PM
It's on your homeschool blog. Titles are MEANT to catch someones attention which this one did. You were generalizing all PS kids and our culture. If they have a problem ask them what specifically they didn't like and address that.

pandahoneybee
11-01-2010, 04:59 PM
I think you hit the nail on the head! Funny last night we went trick or treating with a group of our homeschooling friends and one very rude PS kid. (sorry he was!) But my boys heard it over and over again how nice it was to have kids say thank you while trick or treating! I mean really is it so hard to say thank you for something you are getting for free from a stranger? OK my rant is over! But I totally agree with everyone else up here it is your blog and your opinion;)maybe you hit a nerve,LOL

schwartzkari
11-01-2010, 06:52 PM
I agree with all the previous posters. Your blog is your opinion (and personally, I agree with it 100 percent!).

Stephany
11-01-2010, 07:23 PM
Thanks all, I do appreciate the support. We were talking about it at the gym this afternoon, too. None of my homeschooling friends were in disagreement with my premise but they also didn't seem surprised by the response I received. I forget sometimes what it is like out there. My son is not the only one who tends to insulate himself from hurtful behavior.

JinxieFox
11-01-2010, 07:28 PM
Oh boy, I know how that can be. I also know how things can escalate in some instances, all based on a blog entry. But it is your opinion and you have a right to it. You weren't saying all public schoolers were like that; you were just making a valid observation based on your experiences. If others feel the need to be defensive, then maybe they recognize that they aren't giving their child(ren) enough of the guidance that they need, or they are feeling inadequate in some way.

While you can assure them that you weren't speaking of anybody specific in your group of friends, and that you weren't looking to make anybody feel inadequate, it is up to them to deal with their own feelings. They say the truth hurts. Well, if the truth hurts them, then they need to change the truth.

Stephany
11-01-2010, 07:29 PM
It DOES strike me as odd, though, that other people feel completely justified in commenting negatively on any and every aspect of homeschooling, yet if a homeschooler comments on the benefits of homeschooling, those same people are offended. It seems to be a double standard.

Yeah, I used to get forwards from "well-meaning" friends quite frequently. I think I've noticed that dropping off; probably at about the same rate as the quality of a public school education. I guess today, I learned where the line is drawn. Apparently they will tolerate the thought that I might be able to do as good a job as a school, but it is still not okay to imply that I am doing a better job.

laundrycrisis
11-01-2010, 07:54 PM
There was nothing in your blog post that they should be taking personally. I would explain to them that your homeschooling blog is your place to honestly share your personal ideas about homeschooling; and the intended audience for this particular blog is other HSers, and those who are considering HS as an option. It may not be comfortable reading for them and they should not feel obligated to keep up with it. The ideas you expressed are based on your own personal observations, and other HSers have noticed these differences as well. They are not critical personal attacks. They are observations that can be made when someone has spent enough time around kids who have been homeschooled for a while and kids who have only ever known school.

It is so true that almost everyone - including complete strangers - feels totally free to spew unsolicited criticism of homeschooling, and we are expected to take it with grace because after all, we are bucking the system and doing something controversial; but if a homeschooler says anything negative about school, people take it personally and get pissed off.

farrarwilliams
11-01-2010, 11:53 PM
Obviously, we're all going to agree it's a good blog post :D

I've had the same experience when I commented about how I'm so glad that my kids aren't being socialized by public schools. Public school parents take it as this huge criticism of their kids personally. No, it's not. There was this one time when, after my kids encountered older kids on the playground after baseball being nasty, I commented on Facebook about how among our homeschooled friends the older kids would NEVER pick on the younger kids just to show off the way these kids were. I mean, not every homeschooler we know is perfectly behaved and social - far from it - but that kind of - you're younger and therefore we're going to pick on you - nonsense would NEVER even occur to them. I mean, they spend all day with their sibs and when they see friends, they see the younger or older sibs too. They're never in some segregated age group all the time. Anyway, my sil had to jump in with tons of comments about her ps'ed son is so sweet to younger kids so it can't possibly be a homeschool thing. I'm not saying that every kid in ps is that way. I'm just saying that this is a positive behavior that homeschooling encourages. Don't get so defensive. And don't discount that this is a positive thing about homeschooling. Oy.

Yarngoddess
11-02-2010, 02:10 AM
I was expecting some mean blog post, and your post was awesome! It may be of an opinion that's not popular, but your opinion is just that. YOURS! I loved your post, and think that you are very articulate about a problem you see. Great blog- and as far as the family/friends issue- you cannot please them all. Try to update your family blog more often so they don't "feel left out".

hockeymom
11-02-2010, 07:08 AM
Homeschoolers, and especially secular ones, have so few outlets where we feel "safe" to voice our opinions and share the way we see the world. I think your blog is a perfect example. You've even set it up for and about homeschooling yet still some of your readers feel it's okay to make you feel bad, and there simply isn't any excuse for that. I agree that they can avoid it if they want, but my guess is that they are actually curious.

I know I've had a very hard time even talking about our experience with the few people who ask (thankfully our relatives are very interested and supportive, but even close friends are technically supportive yet not terribly interested). I know that if I share our true experience, they will take it as a personal affront; if I am enthusiastic (because let's face it, I LOVE homeschooling probably a lot more than any of them LOVE sending their kids to ps), I am automatically attacking their choices. Thank goodness for this forum, and for blogs like yours. Keep using your voice! :)

fbfamily111
11-04-2010, 04:15 PM
Near the top of our list of reasons for Homeschooling is PS children. Your blog post was spot on.
If in your situation I would not have reacted so kindly. My response would have been "if you don't like, don't read it."

Kylie
11-04-2010, 11:12 PM
I think problem is that PS'ers feel that statements like those are generalising and not always completely true. I mean let's face it, you do see the odd well mannered, well socialised PS child, sometimes!!

Plus I completely agree with what someone else has already mentioned, to them you are attacking their way of life and they have to be on the defensive so that they can feel good about their choices.

I would just nicely tell them that they choose to read your blog, you are not there twisting their arm. ;-)

Stephany
11-06-2010, 02:13 AM
It is nice to have the support from a new community. I belong to a different hs'ing board that I have been on for years and they had a different take on it. I've always been a bit too loud and outspoken for them. This definitely seems like a crowd where you don't have to be afraid to speak your mind. I love that!

firefly
11-07-2010, 06:30 PM
Your title hits the mark! Years from now some "expert" will determine that throwing 30 some odd kids in a room with only one adult supervisor (teacher) is a recipe for widespread intense emotional trauma. Little humans need guidance, encouragement, and protection when learning how to negotiate social situations. Another recipe for disaster is locking a kid away from "the world" - something I've seen many h/ser's do.

InstinctiveMom
11-08-2010, 01:14 PM
The title of my friend's MySpace blog is, "My Blog. Mine. Not Yours. Mine."

Like the others have said, interesting titles garner more hits. I'd leave it at that :)
I think it's a GREAT post, LOL.
~h

Theresa Holland Ryder
11-08-2010, 11:32 PM
Blog long enough on any subject anywhere and eventually someone will come by and give you grief about it. It's some kind of perverse rule of the internet or something. As everyone else has said already, it's not you, it's them. Don't let them get you down and please, double please, don't censor yourself to try and please the malcontents. Keep writing awesome posts and try not to let the naysayers get under your skin.