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Stella M
10-17-2010, 02:07 AM
Everyone was so helpful to me with this issue and so I just wanted to update you.

It's been very intense - lots and lots of time spent helping dd process her feelings and trying to decide what she wants in a friend and exploring the idea of cliques and many tears.

However, last week things seemed to resolve themselves somewhat with the other girl involved calling my dd to explain her behaviour. This seems to have helped my dd move on a bit.

I have learnt so much!!! Mostly, that my almost teen and teen still need me as much as they did when they were little and that I need to try to stay more aware of what's going on in their lives.

We are not going on the trip with the group including the 'clique' and I am relieved to have made that decision. We are going to use the energy on fun stuff like swimming and sleepovers with close and true friends instead.

So thanks again for the moral support and helpful suggestions, it was much appreciated.

Pefa
10-17-2010, 06:48 AM
Thank you for the update. Have fun doing the fun things.

hockeymom
10-17-2010, 06:54 AM
I'm so glad to hear things are working out. Your daughter is fortunate to have such a compassionate and understanding mom. Kudos to you for taking so much time to help her sort through her feelings and discover so much about herself. And great idea to make a celebration out of not attending the weekend getaway with different fun events!

Shoe
10-17-2010, 10:37 AM
Glad to her things worked out for you all.

Kylie
10-17-2010, 06:27 PM
So glad to hear it has, sort of, resolved itself. It's funny isn't, you think that once you have teens they will barely need you. I remember my uncle telling me when my first was a baby that the level of 'need' and input from the parents never really changes (whilst they are under your roof anyway) it is just that the situations are different as they grow and mature.

Sounds you guys will have a great weekend regardless.

wild_destiny
10-18-2010, 06:04 PM
Thanks for letting us know how it all panned out, Melissa. Glad to here there is peaceful resolution at last! --And Kylie, I love that bit of wisdom from your uncle. So true, so true!

Wilma
10-18-2010, 07:51 PM
Glad to hear things are going better, Melissa. Kylie, your uncle was spot on. My very elderly parents tell us it makes they still like being needed by their kids at times.

InstinctiveMom
10-19-2010, 04:13 PM
So glad to hear it has, sort of, resolved itself. It's funny isn't, you think that once you have teens they will barely need you. I remember my uncle telling me when my first was a baby that the level of 'need' and input from the parents never really changes (whilst they are under your roof anyway) it is just that the situations are different as they grow and mature.

Sounds you guys will have a great weekend regardless.


I always kinda thought that your need as 'Mom' would wane, too, but not so much - it just changes.

Glad to hear that things have worked out, Melissa!
~h