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View Full Version : I feel like a push-me-pull-you



dbmamaz
09-22-2010, 11:34 PM
a very TIRED push-me-pull-you

Ok, this has been our first week back, and we had martail arts m-w and a trip to the river on tuesday - all of which are great, but suck a lot of time and energy, esp from ME - i came back from all these outings sore and exhausted.

BUt . .. thats not the biggest thing worrying me.

last year, the first hour of the day, my older son would read a half hour of biology and then do a half hour of math independantly, while I read to my younger son and did a few things. Then we'd take a walk and have lunch and do chores, and my younger would do some T4L while i did grammar w my older one, then school was over for the younger one and the older one had free reading.

this year, so far, the first hour I'm doing math and english w the older one - who's really needing more of my one-on-one help w math. The younger one has free play (off the puter, tho) and then some T4L. then, um, martail arts, and lunch, and I'm doing joint stuff for history and science . . . which doesnt actually leave me any one-on-one time w my 7 yo, and he's acting out because of it!

How is it I cant find enough time for each kid, i'm achey tired, and havent gotten a single chore done all week? What am I missing?

Kylie
09-23-2010, 02:45 AM
oh man I am reading my weeks there and let's add in a 2 year old that just wants me (and only me) to play with him all day......I am totally drained at the moment and wonder how on earth, larger families cope. So I completely feel for you.

So I'm sorry I have no advice but will be reading everyone else's thoughts eagerly. :-)

wild_destiny
09-23-2010, 09:02 AM
You are missing being supermom, who doesn't exist. Honestly, though, I can't tell you how families with little kids (under school age) manage to homeschool without losing their heads. It nearly drove me insane to try and work with one or two school age kids and have a baby and toddler at the same time. Talk about one tired and crabby mom! I tried all the tricks I could find (keeping separate school time only toys for the toddler, saving school work for naps, etc), but had only limited results with those. What I discovered was that I could not get the baby and toddler to sleep at the same time (and if they did sleep, I was so tired, I needed to nap, too.) And the toys only held an interest for so long. But the bright side is that time keeps moving on and eventually those little babies and toddlers are not so little anymore. Then it is easier (or harder, depending on your kids, perhaps) to get more quality work done.
That said, I know of some families who are absolute geniuses when it comes to having multiple young children and getting school work done in full every day, and even keeping the house spotless and the kids tidy. (I always hate those women. LOL) But most of the families I know who have this success are very Christian and have the support of their whole Christian community who thinks they are noble for homeschooling and doing God's work. Not that I have any issue with this, it is just that a lot of secular homeschoolers lack the social, and especially family, support network. Hence, instead of getting much needed help, they get flak for their decision to homeschool in the first place, which only adds stress and compounds an already hard job. And a lot of these families remind me of something Wilma posted in another thread, about how upon closer look the dads are chauvinistic, the moms are closet basket cases, and the kids are only behaved because of dire threats or harsh spankings. So the grass is not always greener on the other side.
What I can recommend (and what I wish I had done) is to be aware of the gift you have of each day and to let unnecessary things slide, without stressing over how you are not doing enough. When you need naps, take naps, and let go of the guilt. No one has the perfect life. We are all doing the best we can with the limitations we have and the resources at our disposal. No one can fault you for being human, except perhaps superwoman, and she is a myth. Hugs to all the tired moms (and dads) out there! :)

hockeymom
09-23-2010, 09:59 AM
Well said Deanna!

dbmamaz
09-23-2010, 10:04 AM
Yes, thanks Deanna

Pefa
09-24-2010, 07:24 AM
Oh man do I feel your pain. I think about this lots usually when somebody's in tears. The message out there is that you can have it all and if you don't it's your fault.
What can you let go without losing your mind? I think you mentioned river trips as fun but maybe something that only can happen once a month.

We eat the same thing for lunch most days (I work second shift so lunch is our main meal). Which isn't interesting but frees up a bit of my brain processing space.

Good luck, this too shall pass.

Teri
09-24-2010, 08:48 AM
I have a few things that everyone can do independently and we try to rotate through those.
They each do math with Teaching Textbooks which has been fabulous. It totally took math out of my hands.
Then they each practice their instruments (piano/percussion).
We do literature all together. I buy everyone their own copy of the novel that we read. We read them out loud or listen to the audiobook or they read it to themselves (which can make it another individual activity).
They do science/social studies all together.

I have no idea what I would do if I had not had 3 kids in 27 months. LOL

dbmamaz
09-24-2010, 01:04 PM
Yeah, mine are so far apart in age, that anything the 7 yo can understand, the 14 yo thinks is fun and wants to do with us - but is not at the level he should be studying. and he doesnt seem to do well on math by himself and the language arts curriculum i love (and he loves) isnt either.

I do realize I cant do field trips on tuesday because mom needs a day to recooperate from physical activity - i had to take all of thursday morning off to get over it (and then I ran to Whole Foods for groceries and an ice coffee w soy milk!!). Today is a LITTLE better, but the order was different because we needed to get outside and excersise before it hit 97 degrees ;-(

I was encouraged because, after watching that NASA dvd, my older son started exploring on line to see what dark matter was, and started down some rabbit holes - until i said it was time for math and . .. suddenly he really needs to go to the bathroom. Sigh.

I know, this is only the last day of my first WEEK for the year! It will get better! But i have this love/hate w field trips. Next week on Wednesday is a trip to Morefield Mines (at least I get one sit-down day on tuesday). The following week we'll probably drive an hour and a half to see the air and space center at a major discount - but miss martail arts. my freind really wants to do field trips at LEAST every week cuz he and his son are bored, but I just cant keep up and I hate to say no - he's definitely my best home-school freind, since his son is 2E and he's totally secular and he's not an unschooler.