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Walk5
09-06-2013, 07:57 PM
I have the greatest of intentions and well laid out plans... on paper even! But usually we do a few pages of math then I allow chaos.

Ok, not really chaos, she just wanders away to play with something or the other. She loves to write on her own; stories, lists, whatever strikes her fancy, and it's mostly creative spelling (sometimes she asks and I'll spell something for her). She reads really good and enjoys a variety of books.

We have Moving Beyond the Page 6-8 for her curriculum but neither of us have been really motivated, I guess. We have done a smidge and I keep telling her we need to get started on her street map. She seems excited when we talk about it but then we start our day, and do a few pages in math (we are on money now so she doesn't fight me :_applaud:) then she just slips away and starts to play. We go outside and lose track of time. Then lunch, and more play or maybe a television show. By then the other children are back from their questionable education and there is no way to get her to focus then :_s:

So I think my concern is.... should I be concerned? For once, since I pulled her out of ps, I actually feel content and relaxed. I know there is lots I should be teaching and doing with her. Maybe I can chalk it up to enjoying the end of summer, now that it isn't too hot and miserable? Or maybe I need to admit that I'm slacking on a very important aspect of my daughter's life?

Any help or advice??

melissa
09-06-2013, 08:02 PM
You pretty much just described my days with my ds(6). I think it's fine. Especially if she is writing on her own, reading on her own. You're not ruining her, I promise:)

CatInTheSun
09-06-2013, 08:09 PM
She's only 6yo. She's really in that K-1 age, so what you are doing sounds pretty appropriate to me. Do you really worry that she won't learn how to read a street map?It sounds like you and she both need this as deschooling and bonding -- making learning fun. If you are doing some math, read a little, write a little, talk a little about things that are interesting to her -- that's a full curriculum even if most of it is "play". Even at the higher grades (say 4th-6th) you can do a pretty rigorous program in 3hrs. At her age even 30-90min of time pieced together throughout the day can be pretty rigorous -- because she is fully engaged.

Walk5
09-06-2013, 08:45 PM
She's only 6yo. She's really in that K-1 age, so what you are doing sounds pretty appropriate to me. Do you really worry that she won't learn how to read a street map?It sounds like you and she both need this as deschooling and bonding -- making learning fun. If you are doing some math, read a little, write a little, talk a little about things that are interesting to her -- that's a full curriculum even if most of it is "play". Even at the higher grades (say 4th-6th) you can do a pretty rigorous program in 3hrs. At her age even 30-90min of time pieced together throughout the day can be pretty rigorous -- because she is fully engaged.

She will be 7 in 2 weeks. If I would've left her in ps she would be in second grade right now. And it's not really about the street map, that's is just the activity we are at in MBtP. I guess the biggest concern that I have (or think I should have) is if she will fall behind (she thinks she wants to go back to ps, I said we had to give it a few years and I'd discuss it then :;): ), or she will start to think she doesn't need to sit and do her work, because right now I'm not pushing the issue.

Maybe part of me knows she will be fine and that's why I'm so relaxed...? Or maybe my string is becoming unstrung (I'm generally a high strung individual)??

I might be just looking for encouraging people to tell me I'm awesome :_(A)::_lol:

rebjc
09-06-2013, 09:23 PM
I think it depends on what you expect from her. If you have told her that it is time to work with you on the assigned task, and she gets up after 5 or 10 minutes, without permission, to do something else, then you have to decide if this behavior is okay with you. I think this is the approach with any parenting issue, you have to decide what behaviors are acceptable for your child at a given age. If you find you and your child are constantly butting heads about a rule, then your approach or perhaps the child's development/needs need to be reconsidered.

My daughter just turned 6 and also working on MBTB (5-7). We work two 30 minutes work sessions a day on it. I don't think she would have the stamina to go longer than 30 minutes on it, and she usually starts losing steam after 20 minutes unless she is really engaged in the particular activity that lesson. To me, it is not okay for her to do something else at the lesson time. But we have three other children and have a very busy schedule so time I can dedicate to working one on one with her is limited, so we have to stay focused on the activity.

snowpeople5
09-06-2013, 09:31 PM
You are awesome :p

Greenmagick
09-06-2013, 09:31 PM
NOthing wrong with being a relaxed homseschooler:)

You may want to read up on unschooling (a la john holt not so much the newer radical side of it) for ideas and affirmation of how children learn, how they can "catch up" if needed, etc.

Starkspack
09-07-2013, 08:05 AM
I think it depends on what you expect from her. If you have told her that it is time to work with you on the assigned task, and she gets up after 5 or 10 minutes, without permission, to do something else, then you have to decide if this behavior is okay with you. I think this is the approach with any parenting issue, you have to decide what behaviors are acceptable for your child at a given age. If you find you and your child are constantly butting heads about a rule, then your approach or perhaps the child's development/needs need to be reconsidered.

My daughter just turned 6 and also working on MBTB (5-7). We work two 30 minutes work sessions a day on it. I don't think she would have the stamina to go longer than 30 minutes on it, and she usually starts losing steam after 20 minutes unless she is really engaged in the particular activity that lesson. To me, it is not okay for her to do something else at the lesson time. But we have three other children and have a very busy schedule so time I can dedicate to working one on one with her is limited, so we have to stay focused on the activity.

While I think all the input here is valuable, rebjc's approach would be my approach. This was my question from reading your original post - it sounded like maybe she was just wandering away while you were doing your lesson. To me that is less of a homeschooling concern and more of a behavior concern, no offense. My DD is young and prone to numerous distractions, as all kids are her age I imagine! I set things up like "we need to do X and it will only take a few minutes, then you are free to do your <fill in the projects she might have in mind>." Then we sit down and do X and knock it out. I would not find it acceptable to have her balking once she agreed that we'd just do that one thing, so I would repeat that we need to just get it done and she'll be free. This has worked for us, and to me it is important to begin building discipline in small ways that are age appropriate. I don't want her to get the idea that she can wheedle her way out of doing things whenever she pleases - seems like that will manifest in a bad outcome in later years, LOL.

Lest I sound like a tyrant, DD has TONS of free time and mostly gets her way when she wants to do something (for example she woke early today and wanted to paint, and despite my not feeling like getting all the supplies out, I did, and she's happily painting and singing while I get online time!!). We only do schoolwork 3-4 days per week, and most weeks it is 3 days. Generally there is not more than an hour of work done in the course of one of those days (not counting read alouds) unless we are doing some bigger project. So it is a small "obligation" that I'm encouraging/requiring her to honor and to me it is part of her character-building. :)

Walk5
09-07-2013, 12:26 PM
This was my question from reading your original post - it sounded like maybe she was just wandering away while you were doing your lesson. To me that is less of a homeschooling concern and more of a behavior concern, no offense.

You know, I'm not sure how it happens. She doesn't get down while I'm trying to teach her something, I would be all over that, LOL. She finishes her math and we go over it. I guess we get up to stretch our legs and she goes to play and I don't get her back for other lessons. I start doing things while she's playing then we go outside or whatever.

Will this teach her to be unmotivated?

farrarwilliams
09-07-2013, 05:39 PM
I agree that it really depends on your goals. It's totally okay to let go and let her follow rabbit trails all day. Have you read Project-Based Homeschooling? You might really enjoy it and it might make you feel empowered to let her do that.

It's also okay to make her follow the curriculum for a set time in order to push her to be able to do that and because you chose something that you believe she will enjoy and grow with.

I think the issue of skills and falling behind is separate in a way. I mean, you can use MBtP to build those skills or you can make sure she's getting a little bit of writing and math and so forth as she goes following her rabbit trails.

crunchynerd
09-07-2013, 06:22 PM
I have a DD who just turned 9, and I remember when she was 6-turning-7, she was a total dreamy space cadet, and goes through periods of that still, but these days, it's more that she's engrossed in her thoughts and more focused...I guess it was always being engrossed in thoughts, only back then, it looked less focused.

But when my DD was the age your DD is, we did conversational math. On long drives and such. It started with her wishing candy came in bags of 6 so she and her brother would each have the same amount (3) without a left-over one. That led to a discussion/discovery of the nature of odd and evenness in things. We found predictable truths about them, like when you add two odds, the extra one from the first odd number, joins with the extra one from the second odd number, to become 2, which is even, so the total is even... 7 plus 9 candies can be divided evenly between two kids, as can 3 and 5, as can 1 and 3, etc.

But when it's an even and an odd, that extra one has nothing else to bond with, because the other number doesn't have an extra one left out, so the whole new amount will still have that extra one left, not paired with anything, so evens plus odds are always going to be odd. And similarly, evens and evens will always be even. The neat thing was, being told that once upon a time in school, it never made sense, was just another string of details to memorize, but now that it makes sense, it doesn't have to be memorized. It's internalized as a truth for reasons that are logical.

So you could say we were studying rudimentary number theory, or you could say we were just talking about candy, and not doing math.

For the stage you're at, one of the best books I could recommend is "Beyond Facts and Flashcards: Discovering Math with your Kids (http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Facts-amp-Flashcards-Exploring/dp/0435083759)" because it describes all the ways math works into daily life and can be seen, felt, appreciated, and used, without ever whipping out a pencil or workbook, and is great for the age group in which the school way, is rote and drill. It's told as sort of a narrative, like you get to shadow this family through daily life and errand-running, activities and chores, and be a fly on the wall while they live life including mathematics.

I know my daughter's understanding was great when we did math as a conversation, and froze up when it became numbers on a page, when she was younger. Now the symbolic representations are less daunting, because I think she's of the age where using symbols as representations for abstractions (instead of mistaking the representative symbol for the thing it is supposed to merely represent) is possible.

go_go_gadget
09-10-2013, 08:32 PM
We have Moving Beyond the Page 6-8 for her curriculum but neither of us have been really motivated, I guess. We have done a smidge and I keep telling her we need to get started on her street map. She seems excited when we talk about it but then we start our day, and do a few pages in math (we are on money now so she doesn't fight me :_applaud:) then she just slips away and starts to play. We go outside and lose track of time. Then lunch, and more play or maybe a television show. By then the other children are back from their questionable education and there is no way to get her to focus then


Since it sounds both you and your daughter are getting distracted, I don't agree that this is a behavioral issue on her part (if it's even an ''issue'' at all). You mentioned that this tends to happen when you take breaks and maybe don't get around to coming back to it, which sounds totally normal for this age to me. I know my daughter (two weeks younger than yours, it sounds like) would have trouble resuming math after a short break, but not after a long one. If you feel like you can finish the lesson without a break, do that. If not, just work as long as you can until she needs one, then pick up where you left off later on, or the next day. It sounds to me like you're both just fine!

zadasorrell
10-29-2013, 01:09 PM
That's exactly what I was going to say. Even if you don't want to unschool, it can help you to trust your style and her style.

Juno
10-29-2013, 08:00 PM
You know, I'm not sure how it happens. She doesn't get down while I'm trying to teach her something, I would be all over that, LOL. She finishes her math and we go over it. I guess we get up to stretch our legs and she goes to play and I don't get her back for other lessons. I start doing things while she's playing then we go outside or whatever.

Will this teach her to be unmotivated?
My kids are 8 and 9 they will wander off to play after we are done working on a topic, and some times I will get busy doing something else and then oops its an hour and a half later. I think personally if she is writing and reading good. Why worry, sounds like you are doing okay, sounds like she is having a blast and learning to love learning. Why not just add things in slowly, set the timer for fifteen minutes and work on a topic until it goes off. Personally I live for my timer, I use it not just to get the kids back to the table after break but to get my self as well.
I think as home schoolers we are totally self motivated and sometimes that can be tough. We tend to worry a lot even when we will look back and realize things were and are fine.

Deli76
10-29-2013, 09:22 PM
I was just about to post the same about my dd! We always get math done, but after that...its one thing or the other. She is an awesome reader, great at spelling, she actually likes sotw. like yours, she loves to write! So am i ruining my dd? Are you ruining your dd? I don't think either of us are. But for some odd reason it still sticks in the back of my mind. And as I have seen posted here many times, no we are not ruining our children. I have read that children learn more through play and wondering through out the day watching and wondering and asking many questions. Even though those many questions may drive us up the walls at times and make us laugh until we cry at other times. I was watching her at Girl scouts tonight and I think the kids are just fine...learning naturally! :o

jdubbleb
11-01-2013, 03:31 PM
No, goals are important though. Sounds like she is fulfilling the three R's and only requires your assistance with one--rithmetic :-)

But, because you are questioning this, it may be a good time to consider your goals and make them a little more concrete and reachable.

I had a difficult time focusing and following through on tasks just because of my personality. It took me about a year to get adjusted to being fully present with my children (my mind is a busy, busy place). I mean, I know them very well, but I check out often ( think, your body's here with me, but your mind is on the other side of town...literally). One thing that really helped was creating a loose weekly schedule for them, that way we are able to keep track of what needs to be accomplished, daily, which then translates to long term goals. So I literally get to schedule my mental wandering...