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View Full Version : Ok, need some advice or just vent



pandahoneybee
07-23-2010, 02:48 PM
Just got an email and phone call from my dear sis in TX, says that they are moving my way! Ok not so bad right?

(A little background) We have been on our family adventure for going on 13 years now and we have never had family around to help with the normal things. Like the boys are driving me crazy GO TO GRANDMAS for the day or I NEED TO BE ALONE WITH DH go spend the night at Grandmas;)Not the end of the world by any means but we have meddled thru it so far.

WELL, and if she ever gets on this site I might have to delete this! She informed me if they move this way it would be great! Why you ask? Because then my nephew (who has some issues, that there is no need to go into, right now) could come over and be homeschooled with my boys! He has had alot of issues in school and she feels like moving out here is a good thing, fresh start and all. WHICH I am totally great with, BUT to not even ask just say here take your nephew and school him so I can continue to work is well BS!


Am I being too uptight? Maybe but I have my work cut out for me already and to just add another one that would be pushing it for me. I am not like those of you that (seems to me anyways) have the patience of Saints! Ok I am feeling better now, well at least until the next email or phone call;)

StartingOver
07-23-2010, 03:25 PM
Just got an email and phone call from my dear sis in TX, says that they are moving my way! Ok not so bad right?

(A little background) We have been on our family adventure for going on 13 years now and we have never had family around to help with the normal things. Like the boys are driving me crazy GO TO GRANDMAS for the day or I NEED TO BE ALONE WITH DH go spend the night at Grandmas;)Not the end of the world by any means but we have meddled thru it so far.

WELL, and if she ever gets on this site I might have to delete this! She informed me if they move this way it would be great! Why you ask? Because then my nephew (who has some issues, that there is no need to go into, right now) could come over and be homeschooled with my boys! He has had alot of issues in school and she feels like moving out here is a good thing, fresh start and all. WHICH I am totally great with, BUT to not even ask just say here take your nephew and school him so I can continue to work is well BS!


Am I being too uptight? Maybe but I have my work cut out for me already and to just add another one that would be pushing it for me. I am not like those of you that (seems to me anyways) have the patience of Saints! Ok I am feeling better now, well at least until the next email or phone call;)

I too have lived away form family most of my life. I had a similair situation with my mother when I moved back here in 2004. She wanted me to school her grand daughter who she was raising. Cassie didn't have any issues, except that she was really "fast" and hid it from my mother well. I knew that I could not take on the job, not that my kids were perfect, but because mine had very little they could hide from me. I had three teens at the time, and had no energy to train another one LOL.

I had to sit down and tell her straight. That I had my hands full, that if she wished to homeschool I would help her find the right curriculum for my neice, but I was not going to take on the responsibilty for a child that wasn't mine. She was upset for a bit, but I can tell you in hind sight, I know I made the right decision. I could not have handled the situation, it would have been a failure. PERIOD !!

Be honest, hopefully she will understand. ( Use the law if you have to, most states don't allow you to homeschool other children LOL )

MamaB2C
07-23-2010, 03:29 PM
Um, thats one heck of a huge assumption to make, that you'll just take on another student like that! It's not like you are doing daycare!

pandahoneybee
07-23-2010, 03:38 PM
I too have lived away form family most of my life. I had a similair situation with my mother when I moved back here in 2004. She wanted me to school her grand daughter who she was raising. Cassie didn't have any issues, except that she was really "fast" and hid it from my mother well. I knew that I could not take on the job, not that my kids were perfect, but because mine had very little they could hide from me. I had three teens at the time, and had no energy to train another one LOL.

I had to sit down and tell her straight. That I had my hands full, that if she wished to homeschool I would help her find the right curriculum for my neice, but I was not going to take on the responsibilty for a child that wasn't mine. She was upset for a bit, but I can tell you in hind sight, I know I made the right decision. I could not have handled the situation, it would have been a failure. PERIOD !!

Be honest, hopefully she will understand. ( Use the law if you have to, most states don't allow you to homeschool other children LOL )

hehe, I have been very honest every time she brings is up and tell just her that I have my hands full already I mean having a now 8th grader isn't going to be easy! Yes I did say the law won't allow it But being my little sister she said who will know if we don't tell! I know that no one in my family BUt my DH knows how much work it is to homeschool, I mean its fun when you are learning as much as your kiddos;) but it is work!
thanks for the insight, I will probably have to sit her down and just say look I can't do it, but if that fails I know my DH will say it! But I am happy to know that my sister isn't the first to ask or assume that we can just take on more kids!
thanks Jana;)

pandahoneybee
07-23-2010, 03:41 PM
Um, thats one heck of a huge assumption to make, that you'll just take on another student like that! It's not like you are doing daycare!
Yes it is MamaB2C! But if you ever met my dear sis you would understand! She has always had family or friends(being in the military) that she can call at a moments notice to help her out. But they all do that for each other! I am just one of those people who doesn't trust just anyone to watch my kids or even ask for help much! I love the people on this site because you all help me in ways that you don't even know! Thanks for letting me know that I am not crazy or being selfish;)

MamaB2C
07-23-2010, 03:50 PM
Well it's not like she asked you to take her to piano lessons twice a week or have her stay over a weekend! "Educate my kid!". Apparently she has zero idea of the time, effort, preparation and passion involved.

Try telling her the materials and curriculum will be about 3000 or something lol

StartingOver
07-23-2010, 03:57 PM
Well it's not like she asked you to take her to piano lessons twice a week or have her stay over a weekend! "Educate my kid!". Apparently she has zero idea of the time, effort, preparation and passion involved.

Try telling her the materials and curriculum will be about 3000 or something lol

LOL Hey that might work, tell her it is $10,000 or what ever the local private school cost is per year, that way it won't be a shock when you suggest the child would be better off there. j/king !!

Firefly_Mom
07-24-2010, 01:29 AM
Sometimes our family are the ones who have the hardest time hearing us when we say "No!" LOL It sounds like you are going to have to be firm and clear with her, and then maybe give her a list of alternatives (cyber schools, homeschool classes, co-ops, etc.) that she can check out. Good luck!

SherryZoned
07-24-2010, 03:34 PM
I would say tell her the cost of the supplies PLUS your cost of actually doing the teaching. You are not a cheap teacher either, you are more of a private "tutor" at say 15-20 dollars an hour...

Fiddler
07-24-2010, 05:17 PM
You are not a cheap teacher either, you are more of a private "tutor" at say 15-20 dollars an hour...

With the Massachusetts "discount," I pay $35/hr. for a shared writing tutor (one tutor, two 12-year-old boys). And that's a steal--and she's worth every penny.

I know of a tutor who homeschooled a boy full-time for a member of a famous computer-industry family around here that charges $50-100 an hour (on a sliding scale), which is much closer to the going rate around here.

Michelle--my heart goes out to you and I hope you are able to resolve things with your sister in a way that doesn't impact your relationship but still meets your needs and your children's.

SherryZoned
07-24-2010, 05:19 PM
Oh wow Fiddler..I had NO IDEA..I have never used a tutor before...wow..

Fiddler
07-24-2010, 05:24 PM
Sherry, I'm assured that everything is cheaper in TX by friends that live there or used to live there and live here now!

StartingOver
07-24-2010, 07:36 PM
Ok the error thing is back, so I must post to read the thread LOL

Fiddler
07-24-2010, 10:28 PM
Same here--can't access page 2 of the thread unless I post again. Wish I had the technical capability to help!

Sarbare0704
07-25-2010, 12:08 AM
I was having the error issue on this post too but if I push the view first unread button it will bring me to the end.

wild_destiny
07-28-2010, 08:22 PM
Oh my goodness!!! I am laughing my head off at all of you on this first page (not over the error issues!). Michelle, I can feel your pain--not that you would know that if you saw me sitting here cackling! Talk about assumptions! How would your sister feel if you just dropped your children off on her for a month or so, since she is already raising children, so it shouldn't be any more work (by her reasoning). I just LOVE how you all (on here) encourage the notion that it costs $10,000 to homeschool! Too funny!! My daughter thinks I am crazy because once I started reading this thread, I couldn't stop giggling. Oh, homeschooling moms!! Aren't we a bunch! --You know, it does my heart good to take part on this site!

pandahoneybee
07-29-2010, 08:30 AM
THANKS SO MUCH! you all are the greatest! You have talked me down and made me laugh with your suggestions! WOW I would love to make that much a year:D
I have a feeling that I will be chatting with her on Monday, they are driving to her hubby's parents in VA and are stopping here for the night. So once I get some Capn in me WATCH OUT! LOL no i am not kidding!
Oh and I totally know what you mean about reading posts on this forum, when the boys are near by and hear me laughing they run in here (partly because DH sends funny links when he finds them) and when they see that I am on the site they turn and say "she just laughing at herself again"
LOVE LOVE LOVE all the ideas thanks again and I will keep you posted if I am still considered in the family next Tuesday (when they leave:o)