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View Full Version : What do you use for HS Sex-Ed?



Crabby Lioness
07-30-2013, 05:11 PM
Other than looooong talks of course. But we're past "where babies come from" and basic STD information. What do you use beyond that?

dbmamaz
07-30-2013, 05:48 PM
Hmm, i'm thinking we didnt do much? idk. i mean, luckily, we belong to a UU church that did a mini-OWL, which was awesome. Talk about things as they come up. I always assumed most sex ed programs exist primarily to inform the uninformed. but come to think of it, the parts and thingies there was a tad interesting. idk.

lakersey
07-30-2013, 06:32 PM
I've been trying to locate a good program to use in our co-op this year. It ain't easy. The UU program Our Whole Lives seems to be the best secular one around. Unfortunately, it's pretty expensive and it's meant to be done in a pretty specific way so it's not very flexible. If you're just looking to teach one or two students, there are some good books on Amazon - like "It's Perfectly Normal".

farrarwilliams
07-30-2013, 07:06 PM
Yeah, get the UU's to do it for you if you can. They want to. Not because you should try to get out of it, more that the program is really good.

There are some good individual books. It's Perfectly Normal is nice for the preteen set. And a lot of the bestsellers like My Body, Myself are fine. We had several of these when I was teaching middle school health and I never had one I actually thought was bad. I remember a very 90's one called Deal With It! that was geared toward girls that I liked the tone of.

jess
07-30-2013, 08:58 PM
If we had a UU church here, we'd go with OWL.

As it is... conversation (which yes, is awkward, even being a nurse), free availability of books, and raising livestock, which often leads to the conversation.

ksb427
07-30-2013, 09:00 PM
Hmmm... Adam did OWL while he was still in the 8th grade (beginning of 2013). Guess I can't put it on his transcript for 9th grade... or can I?

inmom
07-30-2013, 09:04 PM
And what do you do when one of your teens is gay? Never thought I'd have to do sex ed with that spin! :)

dbmamaz
07-30-2013, 09:13 PM
i had one asking about gender reassignment . . .

why would you put sex ed on a transcript? its usually just part of 'health' which i actually think was part of gym in my daughter's high school

inmom
07-30-2013, 09:16 PM
Yes, I can't see using a curriculum for sex ed....it's part of overall health for teens, and we just talk about it as it comes up. I feel it's a more natural way to learn about it.

Leanne71
07-30-2013, 09:26 PM
My brother ( gay ) had to rely on his own initiative. I am sure there would be heaps more literature these days. When he came out it was not discussed at all! We had some fantastic conversations but at the end of the day bumping ugly bits is only a small fraction of any relationship gay or otherwise, it comes down to wanting to connect with another human being.

I got the boys a book called " the S word " it is a boys guide to sex, puberty and growing up, by James Roy. I has a section on being Gay
I also have " The boy's body book" by Dunham/Bjorkman which is more of why their bodies are changing.

Hard one, but I am honest and open with the lads, because I believe if they know the truth they are less likely to fall for all the crap other boys can spin. I still tell them and girlfriends " If it's not on it's not on!!!! " ;)

inmom
07-30-2013, 09:29 PM
.... but at the end of the day bumping ugly bits is only a small fraction of any relationship gay or otherwise, it comes down to wanting to connect with another human being.

Agreed. We basically said our feelings would be the same no matter the sex of the person they dated. (1) Don't settle. (2) Make sure who you want to be with is worth YOU. (3) Being gay doesn't change how we feel about her as a person. She's still our daughter, and we love her very much.

jess
07-30-2013, 09:33 PM
And what do you do when one of your teens is gay? Never thought I'd have to do sex ed with that spin! :)
Many of the more comprehensive sex ed books out there contain sections of same-sex relationships. Changing Bodies, Changing Lives is one that I plan to get (and would be appropriate for a mid-teen). The previously mentioned OWL also doesn't assume heterosexuality.

farrarwilliams
07-30-2013, 10:16 PM
Yeah, I try to never assume that my kids will be heterosexual. Probably at some point down the line, I'll be like, "...or a boy..." and they'll have to be like, "Farrar, come on, I'm straight."

dbmamaz
07-30-2013, 10:46 PM
i actually said something to raven the other day - something about, maybe you'll have a girl friend some day? "maybe." He sound unconvinced. Maybe a boyfriend? "No." sounded quite sure lol.

i have to admit i hate talking about it with the kids, but mostly i do. I did ask Orion to stop casually talking about sexual topics around Raven (and dh) and also not to talk about them LOUDLY on a walk in the neighborhood (that kid's voice REALLY projects)

Batgirl
07-31-2013, 11:36 AM
Lots of hands-on activities and living books.


Sorry, I couldn't resist.

MrsLOLcat
07-31-2013, 11:44 AM
LOL I never assume, either, though DS has already assured me that he is not gay. I kinda wish he was. I'm like the mom in "The Family Stone" that way. Anyway, we have the Robie Harris books for now, talk about other stuff... I need to talk to them a little more about oral, but that's a discussion I don't want to have yet. I'm sure it'll come up.

inmom
07-31-2013, 12:07 PM
LOL I never assume, either, though DS has already assured me that he is not gay. I kinda wish he was......
Well, we did consider that we wouldn't have to worry about unintended pregnancies!

Cynthia Williford
08-01-2013, 07:02 PM
I'm UU, but our church doesn't offer OWL. My son used The Guy Book: An Owner's Manual by Mavis Jukes and The Teenage Guy's Survival Guide by Jeremy Daldry. He liked the first better than the second.

leakyowl
08-02-2013, 09:37 AM
Being pregnant was a great sex ed for G. He's a science nerd, so he looks through all the anatomy books. He's also socially inept (autism, not HS), so I've flat out told him that there are some things you shouldn't say to a girl, like "You have breasts now. That's why you're wearing a bra." We have several books on puberty for boys, too. I've thought about getting him the one written for girls, just so he can see what the other side learns.

But, I figure anything I give them is better than the Texas state sex ed curriculum. I call it the Quarter Curriculum. Here's a quarter. Keep it between your knees. Class dismissed.

Crabby Lioness
08-02-2013, 12:03 PM
I have been a member of FOUR UU churches. Not a single one of them even had anything resembling an RE program, let alone OWL. Most of them didn't even have a room for RE, and those that did didn't use it properly. This is a VERY sore point with me and one that makes me VERY angry. People with kids were supposed to just f#$% off.

Leanne71
08-02-2013, 12:45 PM
Looking back on the posts, My lads are pretty lucky to have their Uncle and my BFF and her transgender partner in their lives and they all agreed along time ago to be available if the lads were ever in need to discuss anything. Best resource ever!

jenblackwell2
08-02-2013, 09:43 PM
I just wanted to second, thrid and fourth OWL. I'm acutally a trained facilitator, which I think is why my four year old feels it is her mission to expalin to everyone how babies are made... and that if you have same gender parents you can ask someone to use there sperm or egg...

Anyway, OWL was written by UU and UCC together. Our UCC church offers this program COMPLETLY secular to the community. I would check though to make sure a UCC church offereing OWL isn't using the bible study with it. It would be surprising because the accompanying bible study sucks.

farrarwilliams
08-03-2013, 12:00 AM
I have been a member of FOUR UU churches. Not a single one of them even had anything resembling an RE program, let alone OWL. Most of them didn't even have a room for RE, and those that did didn't use it properly. This is a VERY sore point with me and one that makes me VERY angry. People with kids were supposed to just f#$% off.

Dislike. :( While I still say OWL is awesome, I'm on the outs with our UU church right now and I hear you on the unevenness of UU resources and the weird attitude toward families.

dbmamaz
08-03-2013, 10:35 AM
I've actually been thinking about UUs and families recently, too. When I left the church in Charlottesville because I was moving to Richmond, i was told that this new church was forming to be very family friendly. Well, they do have kids in the main service for the first 15 minutes, and then have a story time, before they send them down, this is true . . . but that in and of itself does not make it family friendly.

We only just recently got rid of our director of RE, who i have hated the entire decade i've been coming to this church on and off. There have been younger adults who worked w teens, but they mostly have had kids and stopped . . .the majority of regular members either have grown kids or never had kids (we have a very large proportion of lesbians as long term members, actually) and seem completely disinterested in having anything to do with kids.

now, they are looking for a new RE director, and I like the summer one we have, but its clear there is no positive energy around kids

otoh, there's no real positive energy in general. We havent had a minister last more than 2 years with us in . . . 10 years? and mostly we've had interims. Ok, the only settled minister we've had while i've been going got really mean, quit abruptly, and died 2 years later of a brain tumor . . .

we've also had a huge number of founding members die early of cancer or accident, or move away for jobs. or drift away due to lack of a decent minister. very frustrating

sorry, went way off topic there.

CTmamaJody
08-03-2013, 11:25 AM
I've actually been thinking about UUs and families recently, too. When I left the church in Charlottesville because I was moving to Richmond, i was told that this new church was forming to be very family friendly. Well, they do have kids in the main service for the first 15 minutes, and then have a story time, before they send them down, this is true . . . but that in and of itself does not make it family friendly.


Ugh. This makes me so mad. I am a recently laid off RE professional. I was the assistant in a congregation that has about 250 kids, and we put blood sweat and tears into our RE program. That didn't stop the policy board and the minister from throwing our program under the bus when budget got tight. We went from 50 hours a week of support to 20, we lost our Coming of Age program, and we may lose our OWL program. It will be devastating. What is wrong with the adults in our UU communities??

All this off topic stuff aside, I am wading into the puberty-education waters with a newly minted 10 year old DD (5th grade) who is on the Autism spectrum. She has Asperger's, so her understanding is age appropriate, but she is crummy at social stuff. All of her co-op friends are 2-3 years older (8th graders, most of them) than she is, and they are all maturing fast, so she has been exposed to lots of talk sooner than I would have wanted. We are a family of late bloomers, so I had hoped to put it off until she was a bit closer to it all physically, but she was obsessing. She came home and read the Usborne Book of Knowledge pages of puberty and reproduction herself, without supervision, and that blew the lid off of everything prematurely.

I have found that the books published by the American Girl franchise are pretty good. They have 2 sets of books for girls. One is for younger teens and tweens, the other is for mid to late teens. Both books have companion journals that are useful and provide thought provoking reflections for the girls. The younger set will be the backbone of our health ed this year, and for at least the next 2 years. We will move into the older set when we are ready to tackle the social aspects of intimate relationships, pregnancy, and STD's. Likely around 9th grade.

dbmamaz
08-03-2013, 03:45 PM
yeah, i admit, our budget is really suffering right now, and a music director showed up and convinced them to pay her a salary, which could have been an issue